Dolly Parton Makes Me Want To Numb The Pain
On Sunday night Dolly Parton was here performing in Los Angeles and in between songs was working the crowd like a good performer should do. Speaking of which I thought that Bette Midler's interview with the NY Daily News today really focused on what is different about today's singers. When Bette or anyone of her caliber gets on stage, they interact with the audience. They tell stories or anecdotes. They make fun of something. They communicate. They relate and it makes their fans extremely loyal. When you see a concert by Britney Spears, you get the music and a thank you at the end of the night. I can get that on a CD. The idea of seeing someone live was that it was going to be special, and that it was going to be different from the record. Sure, you wanted to hear the hits, but you were also there to see the performer and to get a show, unlike something you could go buy in a store. Now, with all the backing tracks and cues required to make everything seem real, you don't get that interaction and I think it is just something that I really miss. I remember seeing Van Halen and David Lee Roth would just talk and talk and talk and talk. Sure, he probably talked a little too much, but it was one of the reasons you went. Although he basically had the same patter for each city, it was still fun to watch and to hear and felt like you had witnessed something special.
Anyway, something that I wish I would have missed was this comment from Dolly in between songs. "Poor little Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. Ain't it awful? If those little girls slept with as many men as they say in the tabloids, why their little butts would have more fingerprints than the FBI!"
After I calmed myself enough to keep my mind from exploding, I thought to myself is this an indication of how Dolly Parton enjoys having sex or is this the way she imagines Lindsay and Britney have sex, and has she actually seen Britney's butt because it ain't so little.
So, I think we can rule out missionary in this little scenario because the fingerprints on the butt would be a little tough. Not saying it is impossible, but certainly not the most comfortable. There really is no way to type this out delicately and so perhaps it is best left for all of you to speculate in which position Dolly has the two little vixens sleeping with all of these guys.
Anyway, something that I wish I would have missed was this comment from Dolly in between songs. "Poor little Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. Ain't it awful? If those little girls slept with as many men as they say in the tabloids, why their little butts would have more fingerprints than the FBI!"
After I calmed myself enough to keep my mind from exploding, I thought to myself is this an indication of how Dolly Parton enjoys having sex or is this the way she imagines Lindsay and Britney have sex, and has she actually seen Britney's butt because it ain't so little.
So, I think we can rule out missionary in this little scenario because the fingerprints on the butt would be a little tough. Not saying it is impossible, but certainly not the most comfortable. There really is no way to type this out delicately and so perhaps it is best left for all of you to speculate in which position Dolly has the two little vixens sleeping with all of these guys.
24 comments:
I have mad respect for Dolly, but yeah, that comment is lame, ridiculous, and makes her seem totally out of touch. Not to mention geeky.
Sorry ENT, I think Dolly was using a colloquialism rather than literally meaning their backsides. i.e. - I think Dolly just meant Brit & Linds in general, kinda like "git yer butts out of that car and quit actin' like white trash!"
I like Dolly and believe she says things like a favorite aunt does to make people feel better. She's very skilled in the "bless your heart" commentary.
slo news day enty? the comment was a joke and meant nothing. don't try to make it an issue.
also, you're making fun of brit's butt why? you think her ass is big? didn't we lose a loyal reader because of your douchiness when it comes to mocking women's looks?
anyways i think lame is a good word but not related to dolly.
Awww. I love Dolly so, so, so much. I wish she were my granny or something. She's such a darling woman. Let's just allow this sainted creature to exist in our cynical world full of snark and horror. We NEED Dolly to say things like that about Brit and Lindsay. She's like a big-boobied den mother or something. Like Mrs. Garrett on TFoL, but funnier and tackier with a way cooler accent. And an amusement park.
ok ent- whoever is writing this crap for you needs to get a grip. just like the angelina having her kids hold her teet as the newborns are fed comments, whoever is writing this is taking comments and making them into something they think might make people laugh. numb the pain of dolly saying lindsey's a slut? it really has nothing to do with a sexual position, or literal fingerprints on their asses. it was just a joke she made. you really need to supervise your little ghost writers a little better. you can't let them try to create drama about stupid, lame comments. it's making you look like an idiot.
oh- i'd be much more interested in some of your thoughts about mko being subpoenaed regarding heath ledger. what are your thoughts on her wanting (allegedly) immunity? as a lawyer... maybe you'd have more insight into that.
anon -- he covered that yesterday, and I'm already tired of it.
Love the comment by Dolly!
I'm sure she was using the phrase pejoratively.
I don't have anything really important to add, I just immediately though of the word pejoratively when I saw this and wasn't going to rest until I used it. If we must think in the literal sense, then I'd presume basic quickie-standing-up sex is all it would take. Or maybe a little flirting and someone reaches out and squeezes a butt. Sorry to be such a killjoy but it doesn't take much creativity to get hands on a butt, really.
I guess now that Jessica Simpson went *country* she couldn't include her.
Oh, and this post probably would have been better if you'd just stuck to discussing the quote from Bette Midler. That by itself was an interesting discussion and an opinion I would mostly agree with.
Ironically if you want that kind of audience interaction about the only place you're going to get it these days is an American Idol concert, which more often than not is going to get at least partially panned in reviews as "cheesy." Whatever.
If Ent has ghost writers then I would presume he is on vacation? It is about that time.
gayla don't presume that he must be on vacation if he's using ghost writers.
Maybe he actually had a case?!
Don't diss the Dolly.
JFC, I can't believe how many people bitch about this blog but keep reading it. Unreal.
I think it's more of a southern lady sort of thing, using "butt" as a euphemism for other more intimate body parts.
Also, it's an entirely feasible position to me. I don't know why it seems so difficult to the Fake Enty. The Real Enty would know that sometimes a guy grabs hold to pull a girl closer.
The comments by Bette Midler were great. She's got a lot of truth going on there. I remember being really disappointed in the first Willie Nelson concert I went to, because it was almost precisely "The Best of". Coulda stayed home and played the CD.
There's one exception that I can think of, though - Bob Dylan doesn't talk and doesn't need to, because he changes the arrangements of his songs every ten minutes and that alone keeps it interesting.
Geez, people... she didn't literally mean their butts! And I doubt it was a euphemism for anything other than their beings. It's a southern thing... bless your hearts. ;)
I heart Dolly, and ain't nothin gonna change it. This is just a weird post.
Naturally a gossip writer loves to take quotes literally and run with it for sensationalism. In that regard, it's harmless.
But I knew exactly what Dolly meant and I respect her for stating her opinion instead of giving us the simpering sugar most other entertainers give us today.
Dolly is unique and loveable and I luv her!
oh boy. definitely a slow news day. for enty and for posters.
ENT, love you even more for going to see a Dolly show.
I was backstage at the CMA Awards one year. She was just presenting, but the press was clamoring for her above everyone else. She walked into the room and even though she really is tiny, she grabbed everyone's attention. She's got such charisma you can't imagine until you see her in person. She is truly a great PERFORMER.
And I've always loved her bluntness. You should hear her when the mics AREN'T on!!!!
dolly can do no wrong. even when i was a kid and was embarrassed when mom would stop on a country music channel (back when country was country) dolly was still the best!
people, quit bitching! at least we've got something to read, and it beats shit out of watching dr. phil!!
"JFC, I can't believe how many people bitch about this blog but keep reading it. Unreal."
Bitching is America's new favorite pastime. :(
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