Monday, October 01, 2007

You Think Flying Is Bad Now--Just Wait


The Parents Television Council wants legislation from Congress which would require all families and unaccompanied minors to sit in "child-safe" areas of a plane. The reason for this is to keep the kids from watching any programming on in flight consoles which show R and PG-13 films as well as any television show that is rated higher than Y-7. In addition to herding all families into one corner of the plane his ideal plan would be for airlines to just totally eliminate all movies and television shows that do not have a family friendly atmosphere.

The PTC is asking for this after recent flights in which the President of the PTC was forced to watch Las Vegas and Desperate Housewives on his personal screen and felt the language and sexuality was way too intense for a flight.

Domestic airlines already censor the crap out of films to remove anything objectionable which is why if you are ever going to fly overseas, make sure you fly an international carrier. They leave in everything. This is what is going to happen if this PTC proposal becomes law. There will be a family section on the plane in which Blues Clues runs in a never ending cycle and the strongest thing that is served is orange juice.

You will see parents that are crying because instead of dealing with just their own copped up, bored out of their minds and hopped up on airport junk food, they will be surrounded by twenty or thirty screaming kids with dads surreptitiously sneaking a nip or two out of the flask he brought with him and filled with duty free liquor and parents seriously contemplating orange juice spiked with Benadryl for all the kids.

You will see the businessman getting restrained with those lovely plastic handcuffs because he was late for his flight and the only seat they had left was dead in the middle of the Disney Zone. After putting up with kids asking him why he had no hair and kicking the seat behind him for four hours, he will snap. Knowing it will mean some prison time, he just doesn't care. He actually is looking forward to some nice quiet solitary after four hours of kids using his seat as their base camp.

20 comments:

Khemenu said...

They should just ban all children from all flights.

I'm kidding...sort of.

ashley said...

lmao khemenu i agree....sort of.

Nina said...

so what you are saying is that children will be seated in a separate section of the plane?

PRAISE JESUS!!!!

omg, this is so awesome. I travel a lot.... and not that all children are bad, but there are quite a few crappy parents whose horribly raised children make long flights insufferable.

simone said...

British Airways always keep the families in certain sections anyway, and that's good. And I saw some heavy R rated movies in flight recently while flying with them. Of course, this was BA. But with domestic flights, I can see these fuckers fucking it up for everyone. it's time to either take a good book, your ipon, and/or your personal DVD player.

Jen Ryan's Brain said...

Yeah...the parents television council ... a real hard core lobbying group...give me a break..,.the airlines can barely keep to a schedule...you expect them to do this?! HA! they dont even serve peanuts any more because of allergies...a joke

Mama Jugs said...

Oh yes - let's ban children from flight so they can never travel and learn how to be polite people. Let's actually ban PARENTS from flights. Oh and drunk, white men because they are annoying and stupid. And older ladies who want to talk to me even though I'm reading and want to mind my own business. And let's ban blondes just because they are blonde and stupid. People are so stupid. Come on. Kids need to get places too - you were once a kid and probably a spoiled brat who caused issues everywhere you went. So get over yourself.

__-__=__ said...

Southwest already puts parents and kids up front. That's why I try to fly them. I had to fly American and there were unruly kids everywhere. It's much better with them up front.

But, yes, they should just ban children. Let them learn how to be polite before they board. Many of us were never spoiled brats. Or raised any.

jax said...

Simone I disagree..just flew back from London on BA..you sit where you want no matter who you are.

Parents..you know what? If you cant keep your child quiet and bahaved..DRIVE. Its not the rest of the planes problem..its yours. And im not talking about kids who cry cuz their ears hurt..im talking about BRATS who bitch and cry for no other reason other than mommy and daddy are too 'tired' to bother disciplining anymore.
Your kids, your problem.
STOP tuning them out!!!

ps STOP KICKING MY SEAT.

Kinsey said...

It pisses me off that southwest puts only kids/families up front.

I fly on southwest alot and I ALWAYS get sick when I have to sit in the back.

The kids are the ones who need to sit in the back, because they are the ones who take 30 minutes to get off the damn plane.

simone said...

Jax, I just flew on BA Aug30-Sept4 and you have assigned seating and I noticed to and from (London/Detroit) that parents with hobbits sat in the front of each section.

You may have had a larger plane than mine Jax. I love flying BA because of how they seat families and their movies and staff professionalism.

Wendy said...

"the President of the PTC was forced to watch Las Vegas and Desperate Housewives on his personal screen"

Forced to watch? What, he couldn't turn it off and read a book or something?

Still I'd definitely welcome child-free areas of airplanes!

Reese said...

I'm no fan of kids, but I fly a lot and often I see children who are better behaved than a lot of the adults. I was a on 22 hour flight once sitting next to a fat guy who whistled at an ear-splitting pitch and played really loud video games the entire flight (I asked him numerous times to quiet it down and he wouldn't. South African Airlines doesn't do squat to squelch annoying passengers). Meanwhile there were many very well behaved children on the plane who weren't a bother at all. It was by the grace of God that fat whistler was still breathing when we finally touched down; I would loved to have swapped him for the six year old two rows back who was fully absorbed in her coloring book and not making a peep.

ms_wonderland said...

These censorship types are always concerned on behalf of the poor innocent kiddies. An adult male who can't cope with Desperate Housewives? It's him who cant deal with sex - all that would go over a child's head if they watched it at all.

Why should my entertainment be tailored to suit a six-year-old? Why can't the parents make sure the kids are watching kids programs? There's always a choice!

Anonymous said...

I don't know what rude-ass parents ya'll fly with but not in MY family, not MY children! We wait until the entire plane is de-peopled before moving - to the point the stews are cleaning for the next leg!

On the subject of rude-ass passengers - how 'bout you fat-ass, overweight, 15 jello shot whores in short skirts trying to elbow your way to the front of the boarding line because you don't want to wait for invalids, small children and elderly because it "slows down my travel"? Let's not forget the smelly, booze and STD ridden 'businessman' that somehow thinks he should be able to do whatever he wants and have people thank him for his rudeness! If you think kids are the bad ones, they're children and still LEARNING how to behave - adults have no such excuse.

The ONE time a child kicked my seat I turned around and chewed ass of the parent - as my children sat quietly, asked politely if they could lean their seat back, and I made sure their games and toys were kept nice and tidy.

Respect goes both ways, look yourself in the mirror before you start crapping on little kids for flying with their parents - or are we now not allowed to be military and live overseas and god-forbid have to FLY to get where we're going? Are we not supposed to fly to see family when they're ill? Is it too much of an inconvenience to not have to listen to a whiny ass adult because they can't have their booze and cigarettes on the plane? Little bit of advice for all you cry-baby adults - GROW THE F*CK UP!! You do NOT have the 'right' to not be offended, affronted, or harassed, get over yourselves! We have every right to fly, and the more you whine, the worse a bitchy mama I get!

ManDJO said...

I agree Rhianna! My seven year old went with us to Florida this summer and behaved better than the late 40's, hawaiian shirt unbuttoned too far, with the gold chain man, who couldn't stop flirting with the flight attendants(who were way more friendly to him than I could have been). I do agree that the blame needs to go on the parents not the kids.

ladorabelle said...

My kids know the rules: one book, one coloring book with no more than 4 crayons (so as not to spill 96 colors down the aisle), and 30 minutes with the Nintendo. They don't cry, scream, kick, or dare touch the monitor screens. They are almost 4 and it hasn't failed once.

Nina said...

I would like to clarify my previous post.

I have sat next to some very well behaved and charming children in my day. I know not all kids are bad, and they shouldn't be banned.

However the majority are either bratty tantrum throwers, or have completely inept parents who largely ignore them. Either way it's due to the parents. However due to their needs, behavior, and the long time it takes to get them off the damn plane, I really support a separate section for them. I am also for kicking off obnoxious and abusive adults as well.

I flew a lot when I was young, and my parents spent a lot of time preparing us ahead of time for flights, brought plenty of stuff to entertain us, sat in the back to ease deboarding, smacked the shit out of us if we ever had the balls to act a shit in public.
::gets off soapbox::

diage860 said...

Now this is juicy gossip.

Anonymous said...

Is the issue really about kids on a plane or having our rights slowly frittered away by some over the top, self righteous group FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN!!1!!!!111

Beth said...

Amen David.

I swear, the airlines would have a GOLDMINE if they started doing adults only flights. I know I'd pay an extra $50-100 for a long distance flight where there were no rugrats kicking my seat or having tantrums.

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