Monday, October 26, 2009

Dear Rashida Jones


Dear Rashida,

Answer your damn phone because if you are really dating John Mayer we have to have a serious discussion about our friendship. I'm really hoping that Friday night was just the two of you hanging out as friends at Chateau Marmont. The fact that John picked up a guitar from someone and sang Your Body Is A Wonderland and dedicated it to you shows he is greasier than James Blunt or Greasy Bear. Oh, and speaking of Greasy Bear what kind of crap does he have on Avril Lavigne that would make her want to live with him? Maybe the collection of trashy women that come through his house? Just saying.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, pick up your phone or return my texts. Seriously. He made out with Perez. That is not something that washes off. Ever.

EL

24 comments:

Pookie said...

lol! if rashida is smart, she loves you as much as we do and will return the call. ewww at perez/mayer visual. eek!

Ryan said...

George Wendt?


Just Kidding.

MontanaMarriott said...

Greasy bear is living in Avrils house? I say he has photos of her with chicks

BigMama said...

who is greasy bear?

suicide blonde said...

So much for the sizzling tabloid headlines and the Us Weekly and People magazine cover stories of Jennifer Aniston reunited with John Mayer. I don't believe anything in the tabs unless it's confirmed on this site.

Anonymous said...

Greasy lazy bear is with Avrils - WOW!!!!

How can anyone be dating JM when he has made out with Perez??

Anonymous said...

BigMama - Greasy Bear is Brandon Davis

RocketQueen said...

Greasy Bear has drugs. Nuff said? Oh Avril. Please never come back to Canada.

Oh Rashida. Oh yuck.

Harriet Hellfire said...

Hahaha!



That's all.

Beth said...

Oh Rashida. That can't be true. She must have more sense than that, she dated John Krasinski! Talk about downgrading.

Emobacca said...

People tend to go off the deep end when they end a relationship and their ex finds their life partner right afterwords. Krasinski and Jones split and then Krasinski hooked up with his fiancee Emily Blunt.

Beth said...

But wasn't Rashida dating someone connected to Obama? He would have been her rebound from JK.

K said...

I'd seriously consider becoming a lesbian for her.

No way would she fall for Mayer in any shape or form.

I dreamt she was with Brit actor Elliot Cowan the other day - which was a total wet dream for me...

sunnyside1213 said...

I think I need a score card to keep up with the romance mill that is HW.

ardleigh said...

John Mayer is Soooooo cheesy. You don't scrub off his form ICK NAST either.

Just once if he sings that song to a woman, I'd like them to reply:

"My body might be a wonderland but after getting near yours I would need a trip to the nearest VD Clinic. So pass. Really big PASS."

Lily said...

She HAS denied it already. Like, first thing Sunday morning a denial was out. Her spokesperson is quoted here.
http://www.gossipcop.com/report-about-john-mayer-and-rashida-jones-strikes-the-wrong-chord/

Give the girl some credit. I give it pretty good odds she's still with the speechwriter anyway.

mygeorgie said...

"speaking of Greasy Bear what kind of crap does he have on Avril Lavigne that would make her want to live with him? Maybe the collection of trashy women that come through his house? Just saying."


Wasn't there a BI about someone's revolving door of same sex partners while living with a boyfriend? Recent too.

linnea said...

hilarious post..

tammi littlenut said...

That gossipcop site also has an article with Avril's rep downplaying any relationship with Greasy Bear. So who knows how reliable they are.

If the story on Rashida and the douche is true, what time is the intervention?

And why is it that 95% of people outside of Hollywood can see what a collosal tool Mayer is, but inside Hollywood he is so beloved?

Quintessential Southerner said...

john mayer is a talented musician and songwriter. he's a major man whore and tool. i would not date him, but his talent is awesome.

Jeff said...

I agree, QS. Love the music but not him anymore.

jax said...

i imagine Mayer is much like Mr. Pussy on Sex & the City. you don't date Mr. pussy,you have you fun and let him go.

Rashida baby, there isn't a strong enough douche to rid this parasite.

c17 said...

Rly, Ent? I was pretty sure it was here that I read that Avril hung out with the GB 'cause he was her heroin hook-up. I know I read it somewhere, maybe it was on the B&B or maybe D-Listed.

Anyways, I've read it more than one place, so yeah.

mngddess said...

Enty, take Rashida out. Get mani/pedis, go shopping, then eata good meal, complete with a high calorie dessert and some good liquor. that will get John out of her system.

If that doesn't work, hit her over the head with a 2 x 4.

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