Thursday, October 29, 2009

Strippers & Sex Toys In A Cemetery At Lunch


This almost sounds like the beginning of a joke. It would go something like this. An Attorney General and a stripper walk into a cemetery for lunch. No, you really need a third person to make the joke work. Actually there was a third person now that I think about it, a cop.

Yesterday, Roland Corning who is 66 and a deputy attorney general in South Carolina in charge no doubt of vice, was caught in a cemetery with an 18 year old stripper at lunch and with a bunch of sex toys. Oh and Viagra which Roland says he likes to have handy just in case. A policemen spotted the couple in the car, but before he could get to them, Roland sped away and started driving and putting on his clothes while presumably the stripper put away her portable pole.

After they got dressed, Corning decided to pull over. He then flashed his badge at the cop and this is where Corning's day got a whole lot worse. The policeman's wife works at the Attorney General's office and so called her to see if Corning was legit. He was and despite finding the sex toys, the Viagra and the couple having conflicting stories about what they were doing in the cemetery, the policeman let him go.

Meanwhile back at the office, the policeman's wife told her boss who told his boss and Corning was fired before he even got back to the office.

"We received credible information about inappropriate behavior Monday afternoon," McMaster (South Carolina Attorney General) said Wednesday. "And by the close of business, he (Corning) was no longer working here. Such a trip to the cemetery would not be appropriate, at any time, for an assistant attorney general."

"However, the Governor is allowed to use state money to fly to Argentina and have sex with his mistress, but dammit we will not have grown men having sex with strippers in our cemeteries."

You have to draw the line somewhere.

To read the police report and all about Corning's vibrating peen rings, click here.

18 comments:

Pookie said...

awesome! lol @ vibrating peen rings...omg imagine the embarrassment to the guy's wife/fam....eep. i never knew carolinians were so racy.

califblondy said...

This is so funny.

Miranda said...

Where would gossip be today if not for strippers and men ill-advisedly sticking their penises in them? :)

Sporky said...

This story is especially funny given the way the guy looks - like a church deacon from a small town.

Sporky said...

P.S. I wonder how he got her to go there (besides the $)? "Hey honey, let me show you a real stiff!"

*rimshot*

Beensie said...

That's my state! (clap, clap, clap)

BigMama said...

gosh, I think it is time for us to ask all our Carolina representatives to quietly step down and let their wives run stuff for awhile. I am so embarassed by these guys right now.

Clanger said...

LMFAO

deity2 said...

Bwaaaahhahahahaha......lol...that made my day!!!!!

JJ said...

Ha! I love how he keeps vibrating penis rings in the car 'just in case'.

Anonymous said...

What a knucklehead LOLOLOL!!

He looks creepy lol

lutefisk said...

he's 66 & the stripper is 18? ewww!

Anonymous said...

I'm originally from South Carolina and I can *totally* believe this happened. Let's see, how many ways has SC embarrassed me? Gov Sanford, "You lie!" guy, and now an ADA getting his knob polished in a cemetery? No one could make this shit up.

From now on, I'll say I'm from North Carolina...

Wil said...

Oh my .. and he probably identifies as conservative and Christian, too.

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