Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Paris Hilton Is Now Doing The Cover Yourself Dance - Or Is It US Weekly Being Lazy

In case you are unfamiliar with the cover yourself dance, it is something politicians do on a regular basis. They spin a bunch of stories that are very similar, but not exactly the same from a variety of sources and try to give themselves some wiggle room down the road by saying they didn't know where the story came from. It is also used by guys when they change clothes before coming home from a strip club.

Yesterday I posted that, the Los Angeles Times reported Paris Hilton's front door was unlocked at the time of the burglary at her home. Yes, the Times makes mistakes, but I'm pretty sure they are more reliable than US Magazine when it comes to having sources in the police department.

But maybe Us Weekly's source is not in the police department. I want you to read something. In my never ending quest to work my big fat butt off for you, I found this.

The first is a quote from Paris Hilton to E! News yesterday.

"I think whoever did this definitely has been there before. We have some suspects that I'm thinking of. I'm missing jewellery, watches, every ring I own. All my necklaces, jewellery that my grandmothers gave me that I'll never be able to replace.

You know, it's just an invasion of privacy and it's happened to me before. It's really scary but they're doing a huge investigation on this and we're going to catch this person."

OK, did you read it carefully. Read it again to just be sure. Remember it is straight from the mouth of Paris Hilton and it is interesting how she keeps referring to herself and the police as we as opposed to just saying the police are going to catch the person. It almost sounds like Paris is out there in her heels with her wonky eye as her superpower. The only thing that can stop her is when she runs out of Valtrex.

Sorry for the distraction. OK. The next quote is from an unnamed source that US Weekly found who disputes the LA Times' assertion about the unlocked front door. Yeah, right. But read the rest of the quote and see if it sounds familiar.

"All of Paris' diamonds, necklaces, rings, watches, old family heirlooms from her grandmothers was stolen. They have the thief caught on tape since she has surveillance cameras set up in every room in her home. In the tapes the thief knows exactly where to go, almost like he's been there before. Detectives are doing a big investigation and will catch this person."

I think there are two options to as who US Weekly's source is. I think we would ll agree that we can eliminate anyone with any intelligence whatsoever, as well as any professional publicist. My guess is that the source for the report is Paris herself with a little creative editing by US. I doubt Paris or any of her friends would use the word heirloom in a sentence. I love the last line. Paris said huge and her "friend" said big investigation. Since it is almost word for word, it was either Paris who said it or US just got really lazy and took the quote while watching E! and edited it and gave it a source. The fact that the source was the person who watched E! is irrelevant.

The reason I am leaning towards US just using the E! broadcast as their source is the line about the grandmothers. Paris is obviously referring to both her grandmothers. US Weekly's source though thinks it is just one grandmother or they would have used the word were instead of was. The person watching E! over at US must have been in a hurry and just assumed Paris only had one grandmother who loved her and gave her things.


MontanaMarriott said...

OH YEAH, she is milking this for all the free publicity its worth. She had to have set it up. Of all the super rich folks in Hollywood, Paris is the one that gets robbed the most?!?! WTF?!!? This is definitely an inside job to get her some free publicity.

CDAN Mod said...

or get her hands on some quick money. wouldn't be surprised if dad has already found a "fence".

i suspect all of them are having cash problems. and the 'low rent hilton's' probably send more than they actually have, trying to live up to their name.

momma hilton has been mia for awhile now. wonder what's up with that?

jax said...

Paris Ban for 2009.
i am over this bitch.

sassafrass said...

Isn't fat greasy bear Elvis hard up for dough? Maybe he is the thief.

Anonymous said...

She didn't get enough press for her ditching the Madden twin (probably because it wasn't newsworthy).

It wouldn't surprise me that she gets robbed so much since she probably has the most dirt on everyone in hollywood as much as she gets around.

MISCH said...

Please don't write about her anymore ever.....that's should make her crazier......

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

"US Weekly's source though thinks it is just one grandmother or they would have used the word were instead of was."

Sorry to nitpick, but the US Weekly source pluralized the word grandmother thereby making it more than one.

kari B-rum said...

What a Merry Christmas it is. A LOOOOOOOOOOOONG post about Paris Hilton. I love it. It's perfect. Any way I can regift it?. I blank space the same size would have been better

nunaurbiz said...

I agree with Enty's theory about US's "source," but I have to nitpick, too, about the grandmother/grandmothers thing.

In the sentence "All of Paris' diamonds, necklaces, rings, watches, old family heirlooms from her grandmothers was stolen" it is grammatically correct to say WAS, not WERE because the verb goes with the subject ALL. Everything in between is a modifier of ALL. The subject and verb simplified would be "All was stolen," not "All were stolen." It has nothing to do with how many grammas she has, it's just proper grammar. (Pun intended.)

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I was going to nitpick further, something to do with contractions and whatnot, but I think you summed it up nicely nunaurbiz.

Ms. said...

Enty, never writing about Paris again would be the best Christmas gift ever!

nunaurbiz said...

I agree with Ms.!!!!! Though I was thinking when I saw the Random with Paris getting out of the Mary Kay car that she does the same thing with her cars that she does with her dresses. But you know? I have NEVER heard of ANYONE auctioning off anything PH has touched. I wonder if they have them sanitized first?@?@

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