Monday, December 22, 2008

They Held Hands!!!

I can practically feel the collective orgasm over at US Weekly. They ran a story this morning about Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal celebrating Jake's birthday Friday night. All they could come up with was the pair ate some food and drank some wine and then they had this line.

"As for PDA? The couple held hands at the table!"

Holy F**k? Are you serious? Well that means they must be getting married. I mean no one holds hands at the dinner table unless they are getting married. I am giving you the link to the photo. It is from Flynet, and although they are wonderful people I don't really want to get into a lengthy discourse with them about Fair Use today, so I would just prefer, if you click, then look at the picture and come back.

OK, have you looked at it? Seriously. Go look. OK, I think you just have to love how they are both sitting next to each other so both can have their faces seen by cameras. Also, have you seen a couple sit next to each other and look more far apart? Ever? They also look thrilled with each other's company. Yes, it is one moment in time, but Reese looks absolutely bored out of her mind, while Jake seems enthralled with whatever has caught his eye. Reese is thinking about all the wrapping she has to do for Christmas still and Jake is checking out the ass on the busboy.

But they held hands!!! That has to be worth a few cover stories about engagement and weddings and baby plans and whatever else they can think of..

20 comments:

mooshki said...

LOL, you hit it right on the head, Enty!

West End Girl said...

Jake is my secret undercover lover, that's why he's being low key.

Reese is like a petite bowl of gruel, even if I do like some of her films.

Linnea said...

wow. that is pretty much all i can say.
about the handholding, i mean, we dont get us weekly over here but i trust you.

Kelli said...

how long are they going to keep up this sham relationship already??? It's been dragging on way too long and no one even cares.

merrick said...

OMG .. we all know what comes next after holding hands, don't we?? massive groping in the parking lot of some out of the way diner ..oh wait, I forgot, jake's got that part down already!

Unknown said...

Is this the first time Ent has suggested this relationship is not all it's made out to be?

At this point Perez and Lainey seem to be the only ones that don't totally blast it. People have hinted that Perez is paid not to though...

jax said...

jake's wondering what to wear to the White Party and Reese is wondering why Jake always wants her to cut her hair short.

Anonymous said...

Perez seems to be a 2 face when it comes to outing people and making fun of them.

mooshki said...

Perez got bought off. Again.

BlackseatDriver said...

Perez is a jerk.. there is a short story about Perez crying at Hot Topic, guess it was a big no show. Also some air brushless shots of Madonna and the Hard Candy cover, which is kinda interesting..Ad dict.com was the link if anybody wants to check it out..and yeah I have no life today...I know..

BlackseatDriver said...

One last thing..which I cannot understand about the whole jake and reese story...what is her angle? why would she take the risk in being part of this? I could understand if it was someone like...eh I dont feeling like bashing any actresses..but most of the ones that participate in this type of thing, dont have the goods..Reese does...

Anonymous said...

blackseat: it prevented her from being Jennifer Aniston.

BlackseatDriver said...

DNFromMN..
Ok..I get it completely, but I think this is going to backfire on Witherspoon. IE when Aniston was discarded for Angjunkie Jolie, people could relate and or sympathize. I think it will undermine Witherspoons credibility in the future.

Unknown said...

Echo the Aniston reason...

And if/when he comes out, she can always say, "I never said he was my boyfriend and you never even saw us kiss..."

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

Reese is extremely intelligent and talented, but the girl has the sex appeal of a Presbyterian choir director (sincere apologies to any Presbyterian choir directors out there I may have offended; I just picked a denomination and occupation, that's all).

Still: am I right, or am I right? I'm not saying she's ugly or anything, but I see NO sexual chemistry between her and Jake. That's the only thing that really makes me skeptical.

Also, the first person to spread the rumor of Jake's ~gayness~ was Ted Casablancas, and he's a ridiculously untrustworthy source, in my opinion. I think Jake pissed him off somewhere along the line, and he's using his column as retaliation. But he's so full of shit for even trying to out people in the first place. Why doesn't he let people deal with their own goddamn sexual identity issues and just concentrate on who's exchanging drugs and bodily fluids?

I remember some blind from a couple of years ago -- the subject of the blind was some random lady who didn't invite Ted to her fucking wedding. SERIOUSLY?! That's what counts as a blind item on Eonline?!

Unknown said...

Toothy Tile is supposed to have an infant/child who he parents with another guy.

If true, how would Reese not know about this? It would make Reese's choice to date him publicly much more difficult to explain away to her fan base, if TT's orientation should become public.

mellowyellow said...

Always wondered about the lemming reaction some posts create. How is it possible that a BI from PR paid Ted, who mixes a bit of truth with a huge amount of imagination is so immensely popular?
Must be because the target group gets to hear what they want to hear. Could be that the target group is some fringe fandom with some unhealthy love for a movie and difficulties with the possibility that real life might be less romantic. Could result from a lot of Americans being brought up with bigotry and therefore these people are fascinated with all kinds of "kinky" sex. Could be that some gay people are desperately searching for some kind of role model.
Possible that Jake is gay and why not. Good for him and more power to him. But do you guys really believe that TT-story?
And I still have a hard time believing that little Miss Controll-Freak is risking to ruin her reputation in dating a mediocre (sooorry) actor, who is known mostly for being possibly gay. Since when is Reese known for her risky moves? He is not even that well known, his fanbase consists mostly of BBM fanatics, who would prefer to see her dead and him gay and this group, although not very big now, is very vocal. And Reese, tight wound as she is, should have entered into a contract with this guy knowing what she is gets and do that regardless? This is a no win situation for her. Why would she?

So Enty, why don´t you enlighten us by explaining the motives Reese might have to do such risky business. I would love to hear your explanation and why you think these two are faux, which they might be.

kanonymous said...

"Toothy Tile is supposed to have an infant/child who he parents with another guy."

No, TT was supposedly expecting or planning a child with his BF. This doesn't mean it actually happened. It could be their plans fell through. Even if the surrogate went ahead and had the baby, it doesn't mean she went ahead with her plans to give it to TT and his bf. If this story is true, I really doubt that TT has a baby hidden away somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Ooh, MellowYellow, I have to disagree on you with Jake's fanbase and acting. He was so good in BBM, The Good Girl, Lovely and Amazing and Donnie Darko, not to mention he's made crappy movies slightly bearable (Day After Tomorrow). Reese Witherspoon has only impressed me once: Election. It was no surprise when she said she related to a high degree with her character, Tracy Flick.

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