Thursday, October 25, 2007

Lainey Blind Item

Warning – this is dirty and crass and, for some, not very appetising. So if you are the prudish type, prone to huffing and puffing your sanctimony through your nose…stop reading now. Otherwise, save your indignant emails. You’ve been cautioned.

He is hot and hirsute and horny, has had a varied career spanning television and big budget Hollywood productions but has preferred of late to stick with indie fare. Currently single and while there may be many reasons why – his romantic requests regarding the finger could have something to do with it.

A while back he was seeing a girl, a waitress, of course, not terribly serious but they were booty calling regularly to her delight until he became rather “obsessed” – a direct quote – with where he wanted her to put her finger.

Turns out he enjoys being stimulated in that dark orifice and eventually, although she takes great pleasure in starf&cking, using her digits so creatively became too much for even her to bear. And so she broke things off…which is why he prefers to pay for it now since he knows his particular predilection skews to the kinky side.

I know it’s not ladylike to talk of such things but my gays say it really is the most stimulating thing ever. Yet another reason why homos are that much more evolved.

37 comments:

captivagrl said...

clooney

Tory Greff said...

Lainey posted a hint today - it's not clooney.

Hollie said...

Ryan Gosling

jax said...

Luke Wilson

Laura said...

That's not that kinky! Lots of straight folks enjoy that, men and women. Yeesh!

mngddess said...

George doesn't "stick to indie fare".

And I remember reading in a Cosmo issue - many, many men, straight and gay, love that.

And you KNOW Cosmo is the be all and end all of sex tips....

Anyhoo, since I've been watching the Law & Order marathon today, I'll guess Vincent D'Onofrio.

Yo said...

Heath Ledger fitz

tania said...

Yes, apparently a lot of guys like that. And a lot of women have no problem doing it. Though I hear some guys like to be warned you're going there, first.. ;-)

Haven't a clue who this is, though. Who's hirsute in Hollywood?
For some reason, Piven sprang to mind, though I think he's all waxed now....

tania said...

Yo -
Heath Ledger is by no means hirsute, from what I've seen.

Bryn said...

Some are saying Colin Farrell

captivagrl said...

hot,"hirsute", and horny....single, now i'm thinking alec baldwin, he's been doing indies...the rest fits??

littleoleme said...

Laura - amen to that.

Hollie said...

Was Colin Farrell ever on TV? My first thought was Gosling.

Yo said...

Tania, maybe so, but hair in all the right places ..... :-) http://cjbonline.org/pics/heathledger_nudeshots.jpg
Sorry for an incorrect stab at an answer. 4-give me.

Beck said...

How about Pyan Phillippe? I don't know about sticking to the indie fare but it's been said that he has a thing for waitresses.

La RoRoe said...

Colin Farrell did a stint in TV.

My guess is him b/c further down that day is several pics of him looking hot, hairy and well, he's chronically horny.

Vincent D'Onofrio is married.

__-__=__ said...

I guess Laura's comment is going to make us revisit this BI. I guess Lainey is a bit of a prude or just a bore??? And what about the waitress? I mean, come on, it was in Cosmo!!

Don't you just jettison the guys who wouldn't like this? Wouldn't it just be a sign of bad-sex-to-come????

Twisted Sister said...

Laura, I'm glad you said that because I thought that yesterday when someone posted it in another thread but I was too chicken to say so.

And _-_=_, YES!!! I totally agree with you.

La RoRoe said...

Ryan Phillipe?

Wasn't he a BV for her way back when Reese and he were still married?

Something about a waitress in Toronto (while he was on location for a film)and the perfect blond family at home?

It's toss-up between him and Colin for me.

captivagrl said...

schwimmer dated a waitress for a few months

Wendy said...

Vince Vaughn

Rare Avis said...

ok I wasn't going to post this, but I am feeling frisky today. It's a goody. This redhead that I worked with was a hostess. She was/is a ticket. She also had a side gig. She gave the best hand jobs around, so good that she was now making a nice little living at it. She had one client that couldn't get enough, enough hand action around the ol' whale eye. The client? Well, I already posted it. Is this the fella Lainey is writing about, I dunno. Is what I am writing true, you betcha.

Twisted Sister said...

I know he's linked with Calista Flockhart, but isn't Harrison Ford known for dating waitresses, too? I think he's more former A-list than Colin or Ryan.

Rare Avis said...

Twisted, I hope this 'tail' brightens your day...

Twisted Sister said...

Thanks, Rare Avis, I appreciate it.

I honestly don't think it's Jerry Bruckheimer, though. He's not currently single or hot. (guess the hot part leaves out Harrison Ford, too)

You should have written a blind item for us so we could have guessed that one! ;-)

spasuzy said...

I believe more marriages would last if there were more hand jobs! Ladies, SUCK IT UP (oops, wrong expression) and give more hand jobs!

Seriously, rare avis' friend should start doing home parties and teach housewives and girlfriends all across America the art of incredible hand jobs. I'm sick of going to all those candle and jewelry parties.

Rare Avis said...

Nah, I love guessing, but I LOVE the reveals..seemed like you could use a good juicy one today..
kisses

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Al Gore invented anti-bacterial soap and nail brushes especially for this kind of thing....

Bryn said...

Colin Farrell did a run on Ballykissangel - played "Danny" on 18 episodes from 98-99. I say it's him.

Fabiola Thing said...

waitress + hirsute = Colin Farrell

Tapi said...

Hate to say this, as I'm a fan, but this has to be Ryan Gosling.

Hirsute = "shaggy, hairy" and he has been growing a shaggy beard for that movie role

Varied career on TV and the big screen - he was the goofy kid on that terrible show "Breaker High" and went from that to serious roles in the movies. If that's not varied, I don't know what is.

Prefers Indie Fare of late - Lars and the Real girl is his latest movie project

Currently Single - Broke up with Rachel McAdams

Everything fits

fester said...

This one is obviously Colin Farrell. He's single, hirsute, notoriously horny, was on tv, is on the top of lainey's "freebie 5" (ie - she considers him "hot") and was recently dating a young waitress in Ireland. Also CF has done a number of big budget projects, though none of them recent.

Lainey's BI's are never all that blind. More like slightly near-sighted. You just need to squint.

David said...

Colin Farrell is NOT hirsute. No chest hair at all.

Virgo74 said...

I am gonna go with Ryan Phillipe!

I read somewhere else a long time ago that he likes that done to him. What is the big deal? That is where one can message the prostate, which gives men pleasure? That does not mean the man is gay. How ignorant.

Chris said...

How about Keanu Reeves? He's hirsute, hot (when he's not hirsute LOL) horny? Hmm...not sure...but...career spanned TV and movies, done indie movies lately...I think he fits the bill!

tania said...

Yo,

forgiven of course! - I don't take these things at all seriously... ;-)
Thanks for the link - brightened up my day, that did! (and yep, hairy in the right places)....

It could still be Farrell - ok no chest hair, but from the neck up, he gives the impression of a hirsute guy. Thick hair, thick brows, can grow a thick beard.... if I hadn't seen him shirtless, I'd have expected him to be a wookie, naked.

kevin said...

Saw a good guess that this is Jared Leto. Waddya think?