Friday, October 08, 2010

Anderson Cooper Upset At Vince Vaughn And Dilemma

Anderson Cooper was on Ellen this week and said, "I was sitting in a movie theater over the weekend and there was a preview of a movie, and in it, the actor said, 'That's so gay,' and I was shocked that not only that they put it in the movie, but that they put that in the preview, they thought that it was okay to put that in a preview for the movie to get people to go and see it. I just find those words, those terms, we've got to do something to make those words unacceptable cause those words are hurting kids."

What Anderson says was said is not entirely accurate. I watched the preview and Vince Vaughn says that electric cars are gay. He then says not gay in a sexual sense, but gay like going with your parents to a high school dance. The entire monologue is delivered with Queen Latifah next to him. I wonder if Queen Latifah found it offensive too.

With all that has gone on in the last week with gay bullying, I think it is important to also make sure children feel free to be who they are. Does what Vince says in the trailer hurt that process or does the fact that someone like Anderson Cooper or Queen Latifah if they are gay, but don't want to come out hurt more? Don't you think instead of arguing about a word or two that children would be better served if people they look up to or admire were bold enough to come out of the closet. If someone who is rich and famous and a huge star does not have the nerve to come out, then why should a 14 year old kid have the guts? To me that is the real problem.

The portion of the trailer which is at issue here is the first 15 seconds.

76 comments:

Anonymous said...

I find it very offensive that "gay" has become a derogatory term.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

For me, it's all about context. Saying something is gay, as in lame, isn't offensive. I don't even think calling a person who is gay, gay is offensive. That's like me getting upset cause someone calls me white. I am. They are. Who cares? Now faggot, that is offensive because of the intent behind it.

Jessica said...

Just wrote a huge comment here and got Error 503 Server unavailable again. This is really getting frustrating. I will try to re-write.

Princess Shyness said...

Although I believe an individual has the right to privacy, recent events offer a pretty compelling argument for coming out. Few people are more in need of strong role models than teens and young adults who are being bullied because of their sexual preferences.

eric said...

why does it have to be the word gay? why cant the person say lame or something else. There isnt anything funny about using the word gay as a derogatory manner or for a few laughs.

Its not about using it in a sexual sense. Its about taking a part of someone's identity and using the language to encourage negative associations. Its not outright gay bashing but it doesnt help the situation at all.

Not funny when you look at the bigger picture.

Pookie said...

ita, enty...i respect AC's decision to remain in the closet, i'm sure he has his reasons...but yeah, commenting on 'gay', in it's unoffensive sense, is lame. but i also think it pretty lame of the straight people that play the bi/gay card for 15 min. of fame...*side-eye to kim zoliak/danielle staub and their ilk*...i have gay friends for whom those actions and behavior are highly offensive.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

@eric

Gay used to mean happy and not used in a sexual context. So...yeah. Food for thought I guess.

Jessica said...

I have to disagree Enty, and here is why.
No one should have to publicly announce they are gay anymore than someone that is straight should have to announce it. It makes no sense. You can argue they are public figures so it would make a gay teenager feel better. But here is the problem. By pushing that agenda, there is added pressure on every gay kid. Not only does he have to possibly live with shame because of religious reasons, not only does he possibly have parents that he/she already knows will be unaccepting, but now, because Hollywood stars do it, they now believe they need to "come out".
By getting people to stop using "that's so gay" it is absolutely a step in the right direction. You know who says "that's so gay"? Jocks and popular kids. The very people probably doing the bullying. The very ones casuing these gay kids to kill themselves. They arent dying because Queen Latifah has not stood on a stage with a microphone shoved in her face and said "I'm gay." They are killing themselves because they jocks in the locker room after gym class are saying "that's so gay" and crushing some gay kids feelings.
Besides, if a gay teen knows who Anderson Cooper is and has access to the internet, he knows he is gay. He does not need to make an announcement. He does not need Queen Latifah to give an interview and cover story with a big "I am gay!" splashed on the cover to feel better. He can google her and know she is gay. But he CAN see two very successful people that keep their sexual preferences private and seem to be leading very happy, productive lives. So I think your point is off the mark. They can gain just as much self confidence without closeted stars saying a word. Just get rid of "that's so gay" and make their high school lives easier.

bits of moxy said...

I think society (news netwrks) in a whole needs to stop word policing. Or if they are - lets work on the grammar first.

MontanaMarriott said...

That doesn't bother so much, what bothers me is when guys make a compliment to another guy and follow with, "no homo" UGH, I hate that comment

bits of moxy said...

Ugh - I get all up on my little soap box, with out proofing before I post.

Anonymous said...

I agree with every word you wrote, Jessica. We only need to know Anderson Cooper as a journalist, we don't need to know the details of his sex life. If he chooses not to talk about it, that's his choice. I actually wish more people would emulate him. Gossip hound that I am, there are some things I don't need to know.

As for using gay as a synonym for lame, that IS offensive. It's equating those who have adopted the old synonym for happy to reflect their lifestyle to something less than desirable or stupid. In short, it's putting homosexuals down. We don't need more of that.

Ice Angel said...

My kids, ages 10 and 7 and their friends use the term gay all the time. That is so gay Mom! They also use the word retarded or you're such a retard, etc... It makes me crazy. All of their friends use the words and it's difficult when it is such an acceptable term in society. I smack them and wash their mouth out with soap when I hear it! It is definitely not on my list of good words. That said, when they say it, I don't think they are saying it with the intent to demean anyone other than the person they are saying it to. Also, isn't there a show on tv called "That's so Gay" or something like that? I also think that people saying "that's so gay" doesn't make kids kill themselves. I think bullying, exposing them to ridicule, and extreme lonliness and hopelessness makes kids kill themselves, along with whacked out hormones and immaturity. Kids are teased for lots of things besides being gay. They are teased for being overweight, underweight, slow, smart, shy, unnattracive, black, white, hispanic, asian, a boy, a girl, tall, short, for being a slut, for being a prude, the list goes on and on. Bullying is horrible.

Ice Angel said...

Oh and wanted to add: I wish I had learned this as a child who was bullied-you can only be bullied if you allow them to bully you. The less you act like you care, the less likely the bullying will continue. It is much less fun to bully someone who really doesn't seem to care than someone the bully knows is tormented over it. Plus-when the bully leaves you, they stop thinking about you. You should do the same and move on. It's not always easy, but I hope more adults will help their children learn valuable tools to avoid being bullied and to not let it get to them. I also hope more parents become supportive of their children and listen to them when they are being bullied. I hope my kids feel they can come to me and I will listen, understand and help them devise a plan to deal with the bullying, but mostly for them to know that I care and I am always there for them no matter what.

RocketQueen said...

I agree with Anderson. "Gay" shouldn't be synonymous with "lame". There's no need for it. It's really not much different from men who call each other "fag" as a term of insult.

jax said...

Enty....poor fucking judgement my friend.

Using "GAY" instead of stupid or lame or whatever is comparing it to being stupid or lame.

How do you not know this?

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I guess I don't find it very offensive because I knew that gay meant lame before I knew what gay meant in a sexual way.

I remember my mom telling me that Rock Hudson was gay and all the girls loved him when she was young and I thought that somehow this meant he was lame. I had a hard time reconcilling that.

Anyway, as for gays in the public eye coming out, I think it's a good thing. It "normalizes" being a homosexual in society.

Just my opinion.

Miranda said...
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Miranda said...

Gay used as a euphemism for lame, bad, or stupid is on par with calling things or people retarded. I hate both terms and call people out on them whenever I hear them. They are offensive to use in that way. Full stop. Both terms are used primarily as bullying behaviour and I hate both.

When you grow up with a brother who has a mental disability, yes, the word "retarded" is beyond triggering. Same with "gay". You wouldn't use other words like "black" as a negative so why would you use those other words?

It's offensive. Please stop. If I can get my 69-year-old father to stop using racist slang, you can stop using "gay" as a synonym for something you don't like.

not on my dollar said...

First I think the main issue here is bullying and what we can to stop it.

Second if offensive comments/names directed toward homosexuals is an issue that you feel strongly about then by all means you need to address them and it is everyone else's job to listen and decide if they will respect your wishes.

I heard what they said and respect them. We all know that gay was used as a negative connotation in that trailer and shouldn't be used in that context.


Oh and Queen Latifah may not have said anything because she's learned that speaking out is not helpful to HER career. If she does she'll just be another African American in the unemployment line with the rest of the talented, educated and experienced people of color.

lilivonshtupp said...

I too find using the word "gay" in that way is offensive, especially when there are perfectly acceptable alternatives. Similarly monosyllabic alternatives at that.

Also, Anderson Cooper and Queen Latifah aren't exactly in the closet. They both live a pretty open lifestyle. They just haven't sold their story to People magazine, and shouldn't that be something we applaud? Now Jake Gyllenhaal is a different story, but Anderson Cooper and Queen Latifah (and Jodie Foster, who also never "came out", but always lived openly with her girlfriend) I think are doing exactly what they should be doing. Like Jessica said, straight people don't have to announce they're straight. Why should gay people?

Nicola said...

I was lambasted on my blog almost a year ago for using "gay" in that sense (and rightfully so). Gay shouldn't be used interchangeable with lame or uncool.

I think we need to accept that some terms need to be put to rest (gay -in the pejorative sense, n*gger, retard,…). For the record, I'm going weep fat tears, the day we add bitch to that list -and that one's coming soon too.

Lioness70 said...

I heard this very comment at the bus stop today. "That's so gay" as in lame. While it would look much more ignorant coming out of an adult's or an older teen's mouth...these were 9 and 10 year old kids. They might know what being "gay" in the vaguest sense is--my son does--but it's NOT on their minds. Some people might argue that it's never early to teach them too young, but I disagree. I wouldn't stand out there and give a lecture on the use of that word to kids. Let them learn what it is when they're older and have matured a bit. JMHO.

Jessica said...

Just posted at TMZ a minute ago:

Bowing to growing outrage from the likes of Anderson Cooper, Universal Pictures has decided to pull the trailer for the movie "The Dilemma" -- and replace it with a new one some time today ... Universal tells TMZ.
The trailer in question begins with Vince Vaughn telling a room full of people, "Ladies and gentlemen, electric cars ... are gay."

Chrissy Buns said...

i don't get offended when other people use the word 'gay' in this way, but i personally don't do it. i'm not going to be a word nazi who jumps down everyone's throat every time they say something wrong. i just want to make sure that i (and my kids) do our best to not offend with our words.

that being said, i sure hope using the term 'nazi' wasn't offensive to anyone ;)

KLM said...

@Jessica and Syko: Well said and I totally agree. It's offensive. If I ever hear my son say it, I will use that as an opportunity to impart knowledge. I will not chalk it up to him being a kid - that would be both negligent and positive reinforcement to him that using that kind of language is acceptable. It isn't.

Jessica said...

"that being said, i sure hope using the term 'nazi' wasn't offensive to anyone"
As long as you could give two shits less whether you hurt someones feelings by the words you say, I guess it doesn't matter much, eh?

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

And it starts.

This is why I am nervous about getting PC crazy. What can you say? Everything is bound to offend someone eventually.

Jessica said...

Actually, no, most things don't offend everyone eventually. There are like a handful of words that cause problems. But is it really that hard to just stay away from like a dozen words out of the hundreds of thousands there are in order to not cause someone grief? If that is too hard for someone, I feel sorry for them.

Jessica said...

People that are so quick to roll their eyes need to read this and realize what those little insignificant words are doing.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iEpyXZfAYtTMJfExhdUiyljw45rgD9INIAEO0?docId=D9INIAEO0

Treesap-Covered Lady, the Humanist said...

From 5th grade to 11th, I would say, ‘That’s so gay,’ etc. as a slang term for stupid or lame until someone asked me why I did that. I hadn’t bothered to think of who might be offended by using ‘gay’ as slang, just as I hadn’t bothered to think about the fact that I was essentially equating homosexuality as being stupid, or lame. When I hear friends (most often males) refer to each others as ‘faggots,’ I get really mad about that because even though they’re joking around, at some point every homosexual has had someone use that term towards them in hate.

I’ve actually started to find the term, ‘I’d go gay for…’ as offensive since your saying that a gay lifestyle is a choice rather part of who you are. The older I get, the more I realize not only the importance of words, but how we use them. I’ve used offensive terms, and I still sometimes call people retards, but I’m trying really hard to consider it beyond what’s socially accepted.

@MontanaMarriot, I completely agree about the ‘No Homo,’ game.

In regards the misguided statement that Anderson Cooper and Queen L should use this sad moment to come out of the closet, I can’t believe how obtuse that statement is. As others have said, they lives their lives in the open, and are under absolutely no obligation to anyone be they straight or members of the LGBTT community, to comment on their sexual orientation. It’s such an unbelievable double standard.

jess said...

I don't use the term gay as in lame but I don't find it offensive, maybe because of the context or the way of saying it.

jess said...
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jess said...

I agree with Treesap, Anderson shouldn't come out, why should he? I don't say "I'm straight" there's no need for that.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

@Jessica

Sure they do. You talk about religion and it's offensive to those who don't belive, you talk about a delicious steak, and you offend vegans who are repulsed by meat, you talk about Liberal politics and you offend more Conservative people.

All I'm saying is that once you start down that slippery slope, it can go anywhere and then it can't be stopped.

Lioness70 said...

@Sue Ellen

I know of one blog where almost everything that you can say is subject to an uber-PC policy. That is, if you want to say "mental", you can't, because that's "disablist language". That's just an example of many such "-ist" lists on there.

That's taking it way too far. (I don't post there because I'm not a troll or an asshole. It's their blog, they can write and feel however they want.)

And commenting further on what the kids said at the bus stop this morning, they've got enough to deal with in school without someone lecturing them on the use of the word "gay". I'm not a big fan of the PC police. Let kids figure out for themselves that it's offensive, and they'll stop using it.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

@Lioness

That's what I'm talking about. Where does it end? What's offensive and whose deinition are we using?

It's up to the parents to teach the distinction/context of words. And to teach them that everyone is equal regarless of other variables such as being gay. Once you start telling people that can't say this or that, the next thing you know Big Brother has cameras in your house a la 1984.

Lioness70 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lioness70 said...

(Reposted because of a spelling error)

I would be all over my kids if I found out they were calling a kid "Slutty-Jana-Vagina". But "gay" and lame in the way most kids use it? No. The line has to be drawn somewhere. (The kids were NOT bullying each other; they were making fun of each other's football passes, which they were playing at the bus stop.)

Jessica said...

It's ok. I guess you missed the closing sentence.
"Bullying doesn't start as criminal. They need to be held accountable the very first time they call somebody a gross term," Coloroso says. "That is the beginning of dehumanization."

Not everyone can be intelligent enough to understand the problem here I guess. Or to understand the difference between calling something gay to signify it's lameness as opposed to thinking you will offend a vegetarian by talking about meat.

Unbelievable...

Jeannies Bottle said...

No gay person has the responsibility to 'come out' to anybody. People don't make the announcement that they are straight so why should the homosexuals have to? Who people are banging is nobody's business but their own. They are not obliged to become role models.
BTW, gay kids are not the only kids who get bullied and who commit suicide.

Lioness70 said...

Wow. You just managed to insult quite a few of the intelligent, can-think-for-themselves posters.

And what part of "these are NINE and TEN year old KIDS who have no real idea what GAY really IS" did you miss?

Please, take the PC policing somewhere else.

KLM said...

I think people are simply suggesting that equating the word gay with lame / stupid is offensive and a misuse of the word gay. We're not talking about religion or eating meat. We are talking about a word that propagates negative perceptions about a group of people. I don't want someone to grow up thinking that to be gay is to be lame or stupid.

Jessica said...

Your own personal ignorance is seriously on another level. So when will it become a problem? They are allowed to say it when they are 9 - so when they are 16 it will be fine too then right? Or are you going to follow your kid around at school and make sure he doesn't use that word to bully some kid in Math class by calling him gay? Oh, that's right, it doesn't matter and anyone that thinks different is just a PC idiot, right? Or were you planning to wait until he's 25 and tell him, you know, that's really just tacky and classless that you go around saying things are gay? Hell why stop at gay. You're 9 year old probably doesn't know what a retard is either since he doesn't know what gay means. Hopefully one of his friends gets him to start calling things retarded, that would be ok. I mean because he's only 9. And by all means, don't educate your kids so that they actually DO know what it means, because you don't want them knowing what gay means right? Just using the word. Just let them keep running around using a word they don't understand, you will look like a brilliant parent!
And yes, this was written just as stupidly as your thought process. I thought you might have a chance of understanding it that way.

Chrissy Buns said...

@SueEllen-i am in total agreement with you. almost anything a person says can be misconstrued as offensive to someone. and i only take responsibility for what i say and what my kids say. like i said before, i'm not the word police. i do have to say, though, that if i heard a child on my school bus said something was 'gay', i might give them my special 'bus driver is annoyed' look.

Jessica said...

Nail on head KLM. It's embarrassing that there are adults and parents here that can't comprehend something so simple.

Lioness70 said...

You really are missing the whole point.

Equating kids saying stupid things about each other's football passes with kids who were bullied relentlessly IS showing YOUR ignorance.

What part of "the line needs to be drawn" are you not getting? You can't compare one situation with the other.

Please don't tell me how to parent my son. That's for me to worry about, not some random PC obsessed stranger on an Internet board about celebrity fuck-ups.

Sara said...

So, since people may have a different perspective they are dumb. That is a great way to make a point...

RocketQueen said...

I'm with Jessica on this one. They're NOT the same. Using the word "gay" to mean "lame" is NOT nice and as a vegetarian, I certainly don't give a shit whether people talk about meat. Apples and pineapples.

Jessica said...

Honey if you think your kid is only going to say it about football passes, you are blind. You have no problem with him saying it. Why would he think you would care if he says it any other time? You think he won't know what gay means forever? I guess you're going to tell him not to say it when he starts saying it offensively. Oh wait, you think it's stupid to worry about it in the first place.
And for someone that is arguing the point that a word means nothing and it's silly to worry about words, you are SURE sounded offended I said you were stupid. Hypocrite AND stupid?
Now go ahead and write back and fluff up your feathers and say how much it doesn't offend you, when you've already proved it does.

Jessica said...

Sara said...

So, since people may have a different perspective they are dumb. That is a great way to make a point...
----------------------
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought calling someone a name and using a word negatively didn't matter?

Thanks for making my point crystal clear idiots.

Lioness70 said...

No ruffling my feathers. I'm out of this one, for now. Maybe some of you would like to debate this one? "Idiots"? GREAT way to get your point heard.

Jessica said...

Oh I'm sorry. you don't like that word? How silly of me. Here I thought you said it was stupid to worry about words.
You're a very confusing person.
Ta-ta

iheartjacksparrow said...

I think the problem is the parents who can't be bothered with teaching their children what's acceptable, or don't spend enough time with their kids to find out how they are talking or what they are thinking. There are a lot of kids going past my house in the afternoon on the way home from school, and you wouldn't believe the way they talk to each other. It's a constant stream of profanity and slurs. And recently on a movie blog I posted a comment that I didn't like a particular movie that was recently released, and someone responded that if I didn't like it I must be "a homo." So unless parents start teaching the kids that every person should be treated with respect, this kind of behavior will continue.

boston_gyrl_34 said...

I'm not sure whether using the word gay as derogatory is right or wrong, but I think you can find a similar comparison when you look at the word retarded. When I was young, that was a word used constantly meaning screwed up. Now you can't use it without the world (led by Sarah Palin) coming down on you. Just ask Vince's friend Jennifer Aniston. So if retarded should be use because it is derogatory toward handicap individuals, why isn't gay derogatory toward homosexuals. It just seems to me that saying screwed up or lame or dumb or stupid might be better and wouldn't associate groups of individuals with derogatory terms.

Oh and I've seen the PSA's with Hilary Duff talking about this and she isn't gay or coming out of the closet (so far as I can tell). Being gay or coming out shouldn't be the only way you can speak out about what is happening today. People need to come out (or not come out) on their own terms. We need to stop children from bullying kids for any reason - whether they are gay, people think they are gay or for any other reason that kids are getting bullied. We seem to be raising very mean children!

Sara said...

I am not saying it does matter, arguing a point by calling people unintelligent and idiots makes you lose all credibility. There are plenty of people out there who have hurt/tried to hurt themselves over being bullied about being dumb. That's all.

Jessica said...

Just keep on, you're proving my point over and over.
You're obviously butthurt I called you an idiot and you now want to point out I have no credibility because I used that word, while arguing that it's stupid to tell people not to use another word because it's just a word. You're way of garnering support to make it a group effort to go after someone that called you a name.
What... a coincidence.
Have a great day.

Treesap-Covered Lady, the Humanist said...

I don’t have children yet, but someday I will, and I will get on their case if I ever hear them calling someone else gay, ugly, fag, retarded, fat, etc. I’ll ask them what they’re really saying when they‘re using defamatory remarks; why they’re calling someone such a name; and why they think it’s okay to make people feel bad. I don’t want my future kids to be like I was as a child--I don’t want them to use such terms just because ‘everyone else is doing it.’ I would like for them to be independent thinkers who understand that words have weight, and while you might not be able to see how much they affect someone, the fact remains that they quite often hurt.

mini_pixie said...

One distinction that I feel is important here is the difference between "offensive" and "harmful".

Anyone can decide to be offended at any time over any thing. This does not mean that what they are "offended" by is actually harmful.

When the word gay (or retarded) is used as a synonym for stupid (or irritating or frustrating or any of a host of other negatives), the person saying it is implicitly saying that they mean the same thing. This harms people who identify as gay, because it says that their identity is stupid etc.

And ultimately I think that the way "gay" is used as an insult is a factor in why people don't want to come out, whether they are celebrities or not.

KLM said...

Nicely said, Treesap...

feraltart said...

I think it is extremely important to knock it on its head ASAP. My 9 year old god son was at my house and used the word gay, and I gently, but firmly, told him it was an offensive word, that there was nothing wrong with anyone's sexuality, and how would he like it if he was called a name because he was straight. I also said that what he said in his house was up to his parents, but that word was unacceptable in my house, and neither myself nor my husband used it. He took it really well and we had a great talk about it.

Also, all it takes for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing. I had another woman at the gym I go to, who I had done and said nothing to, decide that she would call me names, not to my face, but loud enough for me to hear. Gross and disgusting were her favourites. I even heard others say how wrong they thought it was. If those people had spoken up and told her they didn't agree, and didn't want to hear it, it would have stopped. As it was, after 10 months of going and not letting it get to me I had enough and wrote a complaint letter. That stopped her pretty much, though I have heard a couple of words since. But if I ever know for certain they're said against me, I'll go to my lawyers. She wanted to meet the person who made the complaint and I said no problem, but my lawyer would be there. I wanted her to know how serious I was. Stop it when they're kids, speak up when they're adults.

Sara said...

I never argued that it's stupid to tell people not to use another word because it's just a word, I'm not trying to prove any sort of point. I just don't like to see people attacking each other in these comments because they don't feel the same way that they do.

BlahFrickinBlah said...

Did anyone address the fact that Vaughn is playing a character and sometimes these characters in movies are assholes? Sometimes said assholes say asshole-ish things. Frankly, I think the line sucks and the delivery horrible. I'm more offended by the acting.

There are a couple words out there that I'm not too fond of but when characters in movies drop them, I roll with it cause it's a movie ffs.

Example: American History X. If you pulled all offensive dialog/actions from that movie there would be nothing left.

Where was the outrage when Bradley Cooper said it in The Hangover? I think he dropped a couple negative references but I know the gay one on his answering machine for sure.

I just think people are overly sensitive right now because of all those poor kids committing suicide. It's horrible and really tragic. It's nice to see celebrities doing all these messages to reach out and give these kids encouragement. However, kids have been bullied since the beginning of time for a whole host of reasons. No one has been able to stop it and it sucks. I got my share when I was young and my kid has just dealt with some recently. You should of heard the shit that came out of this kid's mouth. I know the parents which leads to...

Where do you think a lot of these bullies learn this shit? AT HOME! It might not be at your house but a lot of times their parents are not around, not paying attention and/or huge assholes themselves. You can't control how other people raise their kids and your kids have to deal with these children whether you like it or not. You can't be with them at school. You can bet your kid has heard some shit by the time he/she has even hit the 1st grade. It's scary. Every kid is mean at some time. Even your kid.

Unfortunate Couture said...

Is anyone else amused that there are people horrified that using "gay" to mean "lame" is wrong because it implies homosexuality is a negative, without clueing in that they're saying that disability ("lameness") is a negative? Saying something is "lame" is exactly the same as saying something is "gay".

Lioness70 said...

Some thoughts while I had time to think.

I have a problem with people who who call me ignorant and ill-informed, while puffing themselves up as the most informed and self-righteous person ever, saying all the right things as not to offend anyone. I don't care about being called stupid or idiot. I've been called a lot worse, by self-righteous and self-important people...

I didn't use that football incident as a "teaching moment" because it didn't call for it. My opinion. As for making fun of kids, a couple of years ago, my son made fun of his best friend for being left back. He got a mouthful and an earful about that one, and how hurtful it was. So it's not like he's running around, being a total ignorant ass.

Anyone who's a parent knows how tough it is to raise kids in this society. You have to pick your battles, and again, not fighting this one doesn't make me ignorant or anti-gay. Anyway. He forgot about it, and after this heated discussion, I think I will, too.

Susan said...

Damn, I missed a firestorm today on CDAN. Had false labor issues today, so I'm late on my gossip.

The word gay doesn't offend me at all, but neither do any other words. That said, I loathe bullying and spreading hatred. But I kind of get the feeling that when a 9-year-old says "gay" they have no idea what they're talking about. Not saying it's right; just saying. It's up to parents to teach them.

I fully admit that in my youth I have declared, "That is SO gay," in all my valley girl voiced glory. Probably wasn't the best thing to do, considering I have two out and proud gay cousins, gay friends and gay co-workers and I love them all tons. But you know what, when hanging with some of my gay friends even now in our 30s any one of them could say, "That is SO gay" and laugh. So, I don't know. Sometimes, I think we as a country go a bit overbored with the PC-ness of it all and not wanting to offend.

I also agree with the previous poster that Vaughn is in character and it is a character making a statement. Characters say shitty things all the time.

I also think that right now gay bashing/bullying is really a hot button topic and stars are leaping on a chance to spout their feelings. Which is fine, but it will be on the front-burner until the next hot topic comes along.

Chrissy Buns said...

poor Susan, false labor sucks!

just was i would not allow my kids to say something is 'gay', or 'retarded', i also wouldn't allow them to call people names. it is ok to agree to disagree, but calling names take it a tad to far.

Paisley said...

Kids started calling my brother gay when he was five (he was, but didn't quite know it then). He definitely knew what the word was by the time he was nine. When he heard "that's so gay" he was aware of the context and that being or acting gay was a bad thing.

Straight celebrities "come out" as straight people every time they hit the red carpet with their partner or are papped walking down the street holding hands. Unless they're having an affair, they don't care who sees them. Not the same for closeted celebs which I think would be a horrible way to live.

I don't think it's a bad thing to retire a word or phrase that's become outdated. It happens all the time.

memyselfandi said...

I am guilty of using the terms "gay" as in lame, and retard or retarded for meaning stupid.

As a 30 year old adult, I have now changed my view on these terms as my baby brother has recently "come out" and my son was diagnosed with Autism.

I do not find these terms funny nor should they be acceptable. People become up in arms when the "N" word is used, the same should go for these.

guidetogreen@gmail.com said...

I don't get this argument that people are just being "too sensitive" and are comparing calling someone gay tantamount to eating meat in front of a vegetarian?...seriously?
-- Here's the distinction: being a vegetarian, Muslim, Christian, etc. is a CHOICE. Being gay is NOT A CHOICE.
-- Equating being gay with being inferior, stupid and lame is simply insulting someone's DNA.
-- Btw, "you're such a girl" needs to go too.

Ms.Leigh said...

i just want to throw my 2cents in here in that when you say something like "that's so gay" "you're retarded" "gosh, what a fag!" it doesn't mean what YOU want it to mean. you don't get to say something extremely hurtful and offensive toward someone and then absolve yourself from it because you "didn't mean it in a derogatory way". you said it because you were too uneducated to find a more appropriate put down for the situation... and in most of these cases? you meant to call that person a fag. whether you admit it or not, if you say someone's gay or a fag, it's not a funny put down, you are hurting everyone out there that falls into that category. you can't be hurtful toward one when you use a remark that affects millions of others. think before you speak. call someone a bitch, a pussy or an asshole instead. i've been there myself, where a guy is a raging douchebag and you want to let him have it. call him a pussy instead and be one less person inintentionally putting down millions of lovely gay people and kids.

being a kid is hard enough without dealing with being gay and harassed for it on top of it. let's have a little mercy on these kids and teach them that who they are is beautiful and if they aren't, we'll respect them enough to call them an asshole instead.

oh and i absolutely agree with jessica's comment's above. i think ac is an exceptional role model for all gay kids and adults. he's teaching them that their sexuality doesn't have to define them. that they can fit in and be successful anyway. i really admire him for that.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I guess I was asking a little too much with my comparison up there. Sorry. I'll try not to let it happen again.

Janet said...

Ms.Leigh, why is it acceptable for the slang word for female genitalia to be used as an insult for a man?

Chrissy Buns said...

sssoooo...John Lenon would have been 70, and what are we arguing about?

whatever, i hope that for the future people (like my children that i am teaching) can realize that words can hurt just as much as arock to the temple of the head. this is i personally try to teach my kids the weight of words. they weigh more than anything else...and they like to stick!

Mooshki said...

Jessica, you rock.

RocketQueen said...

@guidetogreen - exactly.

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