Friday, January 06, 2012

Katy Perry's Parents Say Divorce Was Gift From God And Make Sure You Buy Her Perfume


Katy Perry's parents spoke at a church yesterday and did so as Katy Perry's parents. Talk about using your daughter to get ahead. Seriously, instead of saying that Mary and Keith Hudson would be preaching, it actually said Katy Perry's parents. In their message to a crowd of over 300 people in an Ohio church they said that Katy's divorce was a gift from God because it got people talking and got those 300 people into church. Apparently God has plans to bring people into church and getting Katy divorced was one of those plans. At the end of the event, her parents sold jewelry and also passed out free samples of Katy Perry's perfume. God must be a fan of Purr.

48 comments:

Rita said...

And people wonder why Christianity is losing followers.

Because of shenanigans like these, because her father is a priest (preacher?) he is allowed to sell jewelry in the house of God, and he has the gall to say that his daughter's divorce is now sign of the heavens to get back to church.

Funny, for I woke up this morning, not thinking about his daughter's divorce, and really not feeling like talking to Jesus.

It's the bending the rules to fit your personal assholistic purpose that ridicules a faith.

Lauren said...

Well thats tacky, but from what I understand, her parents have always been really, really weird.

nancer said...

thank you, rita. couldn't have said it better myself.

Kimberly said...

These sound like the.same.type of Bat Shit crazy folk who are following the.Rick Santorium train

figgy said...

They don't look like the fundamentalist Christians I know!

selenakyle said...

Yeah, Rita and Kimberly, ITA.

Blecchh.

The shit turned me off by the time I was FIVE yrs old, seriously.

To me there is but one God, and that is all I pray to...and I don't call it *worship* either, which the thought of just icks me out to no end (to the dismay of my parents, but that's their problem).

Tempestuous Grape said...

I thought Charles Nelson Reilly passed, guess I was wrong. I didn't know he was so religious.

Seachica said...

LOL, TG

Say it, Rita! Exactly.

chopchop said...

That was hilarious, TG!

Patty said...

That's one strange family dynamic.

DixieTheNoble82 said...

Rita summed this one up for me, thanks!

Barton Fink said...

"Plan: Get a few dozen people into a Presbyterian church. Method: Raise young woman, make her sing song toying with lesbianism that simultaneously repudiates same-sexuality and specifically mentions boyfriend over and over; get young woman to marry drug-addicted former television personality from Britain [subplan: kill his career after marriage]; then have the marriage end." Signed, God.

Yeah, I can see it.

figgy said...

LOL @Barton Fink! I see you have a direct line to g/God(s)/ess(es).

Thea said...

Hahaa, "assholistic". Thanks for the new word, Rita!

Totally agree about the hypocrisy of such followers. I wonder if the crowd of 300+ were just reporters hoping to get an inside scoop or quote from "Katy Perry's parents" instead of new potential devotees.

EmEyeKay said...

Any time something happens that makes non-believers and/or non-churchgoers go to church, the church will say it was God's plan. Christians look at everything as God's plan. That way, you don't get pissed off when crappy things happen.

@Rita, perfect.

RenoBlondee said...

With parents like that, no wonder girls' got some issues.

Rita said...

^thanks guys! And yeah, using "Assholistic" is not correct, should be assholish. But sometimes, there's no "ish" about it, just full on "istic" affirmation!

@EmEyeKay - great point. As if your behavior is beyond your control. And as if the results of said behavior, are also beyond your control. A bit irresponsible IMO.

Barton Fink said...

Maybe "assholic"? Although that sounds like someone who drinks too much ass-ahol.

Rita said...

There are too many assaholics in Hollywood to count, with assholistic behavioral dysfunctions.

EmEyeKay said...

I kinda like "assaholism" - it DOES run rampant -

Rita said...

^Amen LOL!

Heather said...

Ugh...holy inappropriate, Batman! As a Christian, this makes me sick :( Church has become a circus of celebrity and politics, rather than a place of worship and learning about God. I absolutely believe that God uses trials in out lives to bring us closer to Him, but I don't see how passing out perfume samples and pimping your daughter equates to ministry. Gag.

Heather said...

*our

EmEyeKay said...

The two things that make me the most angry at people are 1) child molesters and 2) people who use religion as a way to make money.

I was raised in a church/cult whos leaders had private planes, big bank accounts, their own colleges, etc., and it all fell apart... the leader had been sleeping with his daughter for I don't know how many years, and the leader's son was caught on tape trying to molest a masseuse. They both turned out to be BAD people, and the church disinigrated.

EmEyeKay said...

Punctuation question: does "whos" in the first line, second paragraph, need an apostrophe? I swear, the older I get, I can't remember how to freakin' SPELL.

RocketQueen said...

Tacky as fuck. Everyone above already said it all.

Rita said...

@EmEyeKay - that is so disturbing! Organized religions is the true evil that everyone has been seeking out.

EmEyeKay said...

^but what about THE APOSTROPHE?! It's making me crazy!

Rita said...

I think it's whose... got me all kinds of mixed up thinking too hard on this one.

EmEyeKay said...

^Oh god, you're right. See? My brain is turning to mush. Thanks, ma'am.

Lelaina Pierce said...

Soo...they used her impending divorce to get people to attend church?? Sounds kind of desperate. I read elsewhere that (SUPPOSEDLY) the sales from the jewelry went to missions. I sure hope it did.

EmEyeKay said...

@Lelaina, I think the profits will go to purchase more shiny clothes.

EmEyeKay said...

Just went to their website and dude has a SOUL PATCH. It's grey.

MadLyb said...

I'm glad Russell jumped off this crazy train. Perry seems semi-sane, but it's sad her parents are riding her coattails. They don't seem to have a problem with her lifestyle - as long as the money keeps rolling in, right?

I know some Catholics and Christians, but they are really nice people who would give you the shirts off their backs. And they don't judge or try to convert me. They just live their beliefs. This is why I can't fathom some of the fundies. The few I've met are the ugliest examples of humanity.

feraltart said...

I, having worked in a church office, believe everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but the politics and back stabbing in a place of worship is incredible. The presbyterian minister at the church I was at was on over $100,000 per year. This was all public knowledge as there was an end of year financial report. I think there should be no buildings to worship in, no churches, mosques, synagogues. That way there would be no power plays and people could keep their hard earned cash. Working at the church turned me from an agnostic to an atheist.

__-__=__ said...

Whenever I see 1) child molesters and 2) people who use religion as a way to make money I go straight to the psychopath check list.

Poppymann said...

Some of the other sites are reporting that She may have been the one fooling around. She's reported asd being "very close" with Rihanna. Nuff said.

Sorka8 said...

No one is getting rich from the people at my church. I should know since I work there too and I struggle with my bills every month like most do.
Having said that, I just like to say that the Perry's are DISGUSTING opportunists!

linnea said...

I am glad there is one thing we seem to all be able to agree on! And I think Barton Fink said it best... im still laughing!

Sherry said...

I think a round of applause clearly goes to Rita on this one..Assaholic (and it's subsequent mutations -assaholism!)- ranks up there with gorgeousy and #occupymyvagina(althoguh that one is truly the best!).

JasonBlueEyes said...

Katy is the one that was offended by Russell? A woman that inflated her tits bigger than the Los Angeles Staples Center after she failed to become a successful gospel singer. A woman that thought marrying a man that told more offensive Christian jokes than Ricky Gervais at Easter would help boost her CD and ticket sale prices. And you know what - THEY DID. A woman who depends on gays to keep her famous and rich yet belongs to a group that wants to put all gays in a giant sack lined with concrete blocks and then toss that sack in the ocean. A woman who married her atheist husband in a Hindu wedding ceremony yet calls Madonna "Blasphemous." She's all of a sudden offended?

I think next time Katy needs to find someone that is more in tune with her views - probably Kirk Cameron, Tim Tebow - or Rick Santorum.

shakey said...

Reminds me of the time the Secretary at my mother's church stood up before the sermon and lectured how "SOME OF YOU have not contributed according to your income." I looked up to the ceiling and thought to myself, Jesus Christ. When I looked ahead, the two elderly women in front of me were glaring at me. Apparently I said it out loud.

I'm not religious, but even I remember the passage in the bible where Jesus gets pissed at people selling wares in the house of the lord. Katy's dad doesn't sound like much of a preacher to me, just an opportunist.

Maja. With a J. said...

That last part ^^^

SKT said...

I'm with Rita on this one!!

Rita said...

Thank you, thank you very much! With a bit of an Elvis strut!

Yeah, assholism seems to be alive and kicking in certain parts of "Evangelical churches".

There should be a certification of some sort for Christian preaching, where if you deviate too much away from the Book, you lose your right to practice.

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

Assaholic: Someone drunk on their own asshole behavior/attitude. So, who's going to send this one to UrbanDictonary.com?

Idontwantaf*ckingblog said...

I kept waiting for KP's 15 min to be up. I'll never understand how this chick sells records and has the nerve to sing live with that weak-ass warbly voice of hers. Unreal.

And her religious hypocrisy has always been annoying as hell, but this story just takes the cake. Actually, probably explains a lot about her.

Sure Russell has his issues, but his mom seems like a love, so maybe there is hope for him.

Robert said...

OT, but: I just saw Katy Perry in a Proactive ad, and it seems as if she has a really small face--the reverse of Anne Hathaway Syndrome.