Friday, January 06, 2012

Your Turn

After writing about Casey Anthony and her dating, I thought about whether any of you have dated someone with a criminal past. I also want to know if you want to share, anything you have been arrested for or anyone in your family has been arrested for. I myself have been the subject of numerous police visits to the home of my parents. Most of these involved alleged parties that may have been occurring. I recall one time when I answered the door to my parent's house and the officer asked if there was a party going on and I said something like just a few friends were over. Right then, in the background, you can hear a guy yell, "Let's get naked in the pool!" Even the police laughed at that one.


One time they came over and asked if I was drinking. I said, "no, I am not drinking, but I was drinking and continue to plan on drinking once you leave." They did not appreciate that answer and that got me a ticket.

Another incident involved me and a friend trying to buy booze as teens and we saw this guy in the parking lot of a store and offered him $20 to buy us booze. Turns out he was a US Marshal. Yeah, they really don't have a sense of humor about these types of things.

67 comments:

RocketQueen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RocketQueen said...

Never dated anyone with a criminal past, but my dad was arrested for drunk driving several times (classy, I know - the parents kept it hidden from us) which I found out after he killed himself. He suffered from severe, debilitating depression and alcoholism.

My brother and I both spent a night in jail, him for having a fake i.d. in a bar and me for drunkenly screaming at the cop who held my brother overnight about a week later. This was about 12 years ago. It's a small town - what are you gonna do? ;)

Rita said...

Je-sus! Sorry about your dad!

All my uncles got arrested at a time or another for being loud and beyond drunk. They all look like George Clooney from Syriana... And 2 of them are named George!

I was never attracted to George Clooney.

Mother Campfire said...

Aw RQ, sorry about your dad. :(

My fiance got a DUI about 12 years ago. Everybody else has been smart enough not to get caught, myself included. Well...except the time I got busted at what is now called Rite Aid for shoplifting eyeshadow when I was 12. Does that count? No arrest was made, just a very embarassing phone call to the 'rents.

Carrie L. said...

My husband was arrested for being a minor at a party thrown at the house he was living in during college...and he was underage & there was alcohol. No actual charges were brought against him, but he likes to talk about his time at the station and has a good laugh over the whole thing.

I've never been arrested. But I definitely was an underage drinker, and one time jumped out of a second story window to avoid the cops that were raiding the party I was at. I escaped...others did not! I should have been caught on so many occasions, but wasn't. My favorite story is the time I was 19, drinking at a sports bar in Chicago & sitting at the bar next to two off-duty cops. They ended up buying me a drink while we watched the Bulls game with my male, 21 year-old friends. How nice of them!

Mother Campfire said...

^ Wait, that sounded as if we all drive dunk. I mean OTHER illegal activites and general shenanigans.

*cough LEGALIZE IT cough*

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

That's a big no all around for me.

Though, there is a new guy at my work who is a former gang member and just got out of jail after 10 years. I am doing my best to help him learn to live and succeed in mainstream society.

I guess that is the closest I've come to something like that.

kauli said...

No criminal past here, but met someone through a chat that wanted to start a missing persons org. Turned out they were on probation for embezzling several thousand $ from their employer. Spent a LOT of time helping them set up the org., so when I discovered their shady past, I got the heck out of that. Didn't want to be connected w/ an organization collecting donations whose head was guilty of embezzlement. Yikes!

Sio said...

I found out a few days ago that an old friend of mine apparently had the crap beat out of her and was put in hospital by her ex-boyfriend - who apparently has done time. Scary thing is I've heard she wants him back...crazy.

BigMama said...

True story - a guy in the tiny town I live in was a notorious drunk driver. The cops would just sorta follow him around on the weekends and bust him if they could. This was many years ago when you could (unfortunately) get away with it more often. Anyhow, he turned down a road one night at 3 in the morning and smacked into a cop car sitting there waiting for him. Cop is super pissed, walks up to the guys window and taps on the glass. Drunk rolls down the window and asks whats up. The cop (did I mention the cop was my husbands cousin) growls at him that he hit the cruiser. Drunk guys says "really?" cop asks him to step out of the car. Drunk guy says "Sure, can you hold my beer while I unbuckle?"

The only reason he got off of that was a very good lawyer. The cop completely lost his cool and yanked him from the car. I always felt sorry for the cop because I am not sure I wouldn't have done the same. Long story short, the good news is that the drunk cleaned up his act after that. Got clean, got married and is raising a couple of kids. He even has the decency to be appologetic to others about his potentially dangerous behavior and is horrified at his own actions now that he has children. Contrite doesn't cover what this guys is like now.

califblondy said...

I was in a car being driven by someone who was drunk. The driver got arrested so the CHP gave the passengers a ride back to the party. I really got mouthy with the cop and it's a miracle I didn't get taken in too. Luckily, that's the closest I've ever been to being arrested.

I've never dated any bad guys, the Mum would have never allowed that.

ABlake said...

That really is a big transition Sue Ellen, I wish you all the luck in the world!
My mom set me up with a guy, we dated a bit and then he ended up hiring me. He seemed cool enough but there was always something 'shady' that I couldn't put my finger on.
So I googled him one night. He served 13 years for murder (was drunk, altercation and picked up a gun and fired)
I'm no anaylst but I do believe serving that amount of time in prison can affect a person.
He did end up being shady (ripping off customers etc) so I stopped working for him. Though a silver lining was that through him I met my current boss who is outstanding and actually has ethics.

As far as anyone else, nope. Closest would probably be a brother who used to get in trouble ALL the time. Hell, he was kicked out of 2 reform schools.
He's a lawyer now. HA!

Rita said...

@Big Momma - "Sure, can you hold my beer while I unbuckle?"

LOST MY SHIT!!! SO FUNNY.

kelly said...

No-one in my family has ever been arrested, but there were a few close calls. One of my best friends was driving drunk and crashed his car into a cement pole (no-one else in the car, no-one hurt). I was at a party down the road and we heard the crash, when we discovered who was driving, I told the police I had been driving as I hadn't drank anything. They took me to the police car, put me in the back seat and scared the crap out of me "do you know the penalty for lying to police? etc" I finally broke down and told the truth (for some reason they didn't believe the "a dog ran in front of me" story. They knew how fast the car was going from the skid marks on the road). That was the closest I have ever, or ever want to, come to being on the wrong side of the law. My brothers, well good thing I lived in a small town as they let a lot of things go which they would never do now.

EmEyeKay said...

I got a ticket for an open container once, because I had a halfrack in the back of the car, around 3am in Portland. Didn't know an open halfrack counted as open container! You pull back the cardboard and that means you're drinking in the car? Still don't think that was right but I didn't argue because except for the driver, we were all hammered. We all received a ticket.

I like Enty's comeback to "are you drinking". Hah! That's what cops want to hear!

EmEyeKay said...

And no, never dated anyone with a criminal past.

solarpower said...

I will preface this by saying I realize how stupid and naive this was of me. I briefly dated a guy who had done a lot of cocaine and other drugs in his past, been kicked out of his house and homeless for a while, sold sex for drugs and was a drug, uh, procurer for hire. I'd known him since we were kids, he did have some redeeming qualities and was trying to do better, but now I realize he's probably severely affected by Bipolar and/or Borderline Personality Disorder.

Anyway, the deal with us was if he ever did coke again it was over then and there. Of course he did, so ka-blam, done. He had a set of my apartment keys, but I didn't think much of it until one of his friends told me that he'd said to her, "do you think I could get away with it if I killed [my name]?" Changed my locks the next day and watched my back for months.

He's since been to jail for a felony and had an angsty, chaotic marriage to a fairly unstable woman and has had two adorable kids who I hope make it out sane.

I definitely learned my lesson from this and married a very upstanding citizen and things are hunky dory. Phew!

RenoBlondee said...

Just my ex bi polar husband got arrested for DUI.
My friends and I pulled that giving money to a guy at the 7-11 for booze shit all the time. Can't believe we always got away with it! Scary to think of now that I have a 15 year old daughter! The 80's were nuts!

RocketQueen said...

Thanks guys - my dad committed suicide nearly 15 years ago now, but it really messed me up at the time. And that's why I get so upset when commenters refer to people who commit suicide as selfish or cowards. But apparently that only applies to adults...not children who are bullied?

Some of these stories are hilarious :)

DixieTheNoble82 said...

Wow - some very interesting stories here.

@RQ - Sorry for the loss of your dad. I can imagine that must of been tough to deal with. Both my mom and dad suffer/suffered from mental illness and both have tried to commit suicide. I'm glad neither of them succeeded.

I have a few crazy stories but I think the most interesting is about a guy that grew up behind me in Huntsville, Al. His name is Jeff Franklin and on March 10th 1998 - he slayed his parents as they walked in the door from work with a hatchet, sledge hammer, butcher knife, maybe some other tools. You can probably Google the case.

That house became some what of an attraction and sat vacant for the longest time. When it finally sold, the family would randomly have people ring the bell and ask if they "knew what happened" in the house.

Crazy, crazy stuff.

BigMama said...

RQ - I personally have never subscribed to the "selfish" "coward" application of a suicide. I just always felt sorry for the obvious pain that they were in and sad that they couldn't find what they needed that would help them. I hope for you and several others I know and think of as survivors of such tragedy, peace. The same peace that their loved ones clearly weren't able to obtain, though I am sure they tried. It's unfair to all concerned. I hope I didn't offend anyone with my thoughts on this. I have just known too many people who have been effected by this.

Krab said...

I am friends with someone who went to high school with Andrew Cunanan. Yuck.

My grandfather was in and out of jail. He was a NYC cabdriver and ran booze in his cab during Prohibition.

MonstersInc said...

Never arrested but when I was 14 I took my Dad's old Camry (my Dad knew, it's a really rural place) and went driving around with friends and just when I was about to go home I got stopped and lied and said I had to go to the doctor which is why I was driving.

After that I went for a drive again and cops came to the house saying they saw the car and assumed it was my 17 year old brother driving (he sometimes drove it but not that often) and he got taken to court and got fined. I saved up to pay for the fine and I will never be able to thank him enough for what he did for me.

We didn't tell anyone about the court date but somehow people found out and kept coming up to me saying 'Your brother will be ok, hopefully he won't be in prison for long' that day at school and I was so confused, I think there were rumours it was for something more serious.

Never took the car again and got my licence as soon as I was old enough.

MonstersInc said...

^^forgot to add the reason it was illegal for my brother to drive the car was because it didn't have insurance or tax.

Jesse D said...

O boy. You asked for it...

I was smoking pot behind a bowling alley at 16, busted by a rent-a-cop who grabbed the front of my shirt to keep me from running. In my green haze, I thought he was grabbing my boobs. I backhanded him and ran. Got away with it.

Dated a druggie badboy at 17 that all my friends were "dating" at the time, too. He had us ALL fooled. He pulled a knife on me in the middle of a disagreement and threatened to kill me. I got away, and he's serving a couple life sentences now. What for? Stabbing a girl, shoving a bottle so far down her neck it came out her chest, rolling her up in a carpet and leaving her in an abandoned house. He swears his accomplice did it. Yeah, right.

My ex husband was a meth cook and dealer for most of our seven year marriage, and I didn't catch on until the end. We were fighting one night and a neighbor called the cops. I lied about his identity to them, because he had warrants out for traffic violations. Spent the night in jail. Worst.Night.Ever.

My bestie served two years on a six year sentence for kidnapping her kids and hiding them from their abusive (rich) sex-offender father. She's in a halfway house now, and succeeded in keeping them away from him until they graduated hs.

I'm currently on supervised probation for driving with a revoked license, no insurance and expired tags - three times. No DUI, just have never paid for accidents my ex husband had with vehicles that were uninsured and registered in my name. Actually sentenced to twelve months, but the sentence was suspended pending completion of my probation. DO I drive now? Not.Ever. I have two daughters that need their mama too much to be in jail.

It's in my blood, though. My mother's side of the family is all drug addicts and alcoholics, while my father's side was involved with "the outfit" in Detroit.

couriergrrrrl said...

I was in a relationship for 7 years with a man that was a heroin addict and killed a 22 year old girl in front of her infant daughter. That was about 8 years ago and his family still doesn't understand why I chose not to "wait for him" when he went to prison. I really know how to pick 'em.

MonstersInc said...

RQ I'm so sorry about your Dad. My most sincere condolences for your loss xxx I tried to kill myself 5 years ago at 15 when I found out about my health issues and I saw after how much just the attempt had deeply hurt my family so never tried again.

nunaurbiz said...

I'm pleading the Fifth on the question of dating a felon. You'll have to wait for my memoirs.

Here's a funny story though about a cop call during one of my parties (it ain't a party till the cops are called): This was my last hurrah in my old house that had a pool (great for parties but HELL to keep up) on the Fifth of July a few years ago. One of my friends works for the city and snuck some city-bought fireworks from the official show and set them off (not the huge ones that need pipes to set off but ground work types). My neighbor, ex-deputy, called the cops. This young cop shows up, demands, "Are you setting off fireworks?" and I see him look around the back yard and his face just fell. He had soooo been hoping to bust a gangbuster party, maybe catch some minors drinking or drugs and he just sees a bunch of middle aged folk ("Sam! Get in the pool! Sam! Stay in the pool!" because he was skinny dipping). I said, "Oh, I think some kids were shooting off fireworks in the wash over there. They do that." And the young cop says glumly, "Well, OK. You aren't too loud. Make sure you don't get too loud." He was soooooo disappointed! We laughed and set off more fireworks.

Cheryl said...

I'm a ridiculously law abiding good two shoes married to same. A girl who grew up two doors down from my parents house beat a woman to death for drug money though. When she went back to her dad's house after getting out many years later, she regularly cut my dad's hair. She learned how in the joint.

Mother Campfire said...

Dear LAWD, Jesse D. You're very lucky to be alive. That poor girl!!

Jolene Jolene said...

Ha, RenoBlondee! My friends and I did that all the time in high school. Except it was at a little liquor store just outside of town (usually more secluded than the 7-11). I refused to go and do the asking to the strangers going inside, but my girlfriends were fearless. God was that dumb. I really can't believe we never got caught. I was always pretty close to getting underage drinking tickets in college, but was never caught. Not for my fake ID that I used to three years either. I got lucky. Other than that, never been even kind of involved with anybody with a criminal past...that I know of. :) I don't have any of those stories, falling for the guy who seemed so great but ended being a convicted felon.

Terri said...

They seemed perfectly normal when we were dating, but I have two men I dated in college who are now in prison. Well, Freddie is out, but Randy will be in for a while. I'll see if I can post the links because they are bizarre.

I dated Randy when he was in Dental school. We went out for about 3 months. He left town to go back to Tampa. http://www.sptimes.com/2002/11/20/TampaBay/Dentist_convicted_of_.shtml

And Freddie tricked me into going on a date. I met him while I was student teaching and he was a teachers aide in the room next door.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_n7_v93/ai_20136014/

RenoBlondee said...

@Jolene Jolene
LOL, I also used a fake ID from 19-21 and never got caught. It was my sisters' from when she turned 21 and got a new face forward one. The 16 to 20 ones were side face view. This was in NV too, where they are MUCH more strict about such things!

Sherry said...

I did date a guy who had been to prison prior to my meeting him.

After breaking up, he was arrested again. It made the news for several days and was considered to be a giant coup for our local police.

The phone rang for days after with friends calling to ask me about it. I wouldn't take any of their calls.

A couple of books were even written about him. After over 20 yrs. I finally read one and was so relieved that the 9 months period of time that we dated was completely absent from the book.

He is currently in prison serving so many life sentences with no chance for parole in his lifetime.

Terri said...

wow Sherry! Did he seem normal when you dated?

Del Riser said...

My daughter dated a man who had been in jail for vehicular manslaughter, he had been driving drunk.
He was a very changed man. I thought he was very polite and sweet. He of course no longer drinks and apparently wasn't an alcoholic at the time.
My mother committed suicide when I was eight. It can mess you up. The hook here is my mother didn't intend to die.
I feel for all who have to deal with it. Trust me, it will take a lifetime.

Rita said...

@Del Riser - so sorry for your loss!

kathy said...

So...long time ago, big blizzard in the Northeast, and I'm waiting for a bus with several other people. We're all kind of chatting, and one guy buys a bottle of rum to fortify us during our incredibly long wait. Nice guy, I think, and good-looking in a scruffy late '80s way. Bus finally arrives and we sit together, still talking and drinking; I give him my number. Anyway, I forget exactly how he told me, but he'd gotten out of prison a couple of months before. Had been in for manslaughter...of his wife.

Rita said...

@Kathy - oh I'm so sorry, but I can't help it, I laughed so hard! Did you have to change your number?... Or are you guys still dating?

Del Riser said...

@Kathy, I had to laugh too! See that's the trouble bad guys don't always look like bad guys. OR they could now be good guys.

Del Riser said...

@Rita, thank you. If it can happen to a person it's happened to me.
Life is STILL good!

Rita said...

^I so Love your upbeat outlook on life!

Sherry said...

@Terri, Let's just say that everything fell into place when I found out he got arrested and I might have been a little bit in denial.

redronnie said...

@RQ and DR - I know. My beloved step-dad committed suicide, it changed our lives. There was no selfish motives - he was ill and became depressed. A chain reaction set in, my mother became a drunk, got involved with a horribly abusive man. One day he decided to beat her infront of me. I stabbed him - he lived - I was charged with aggravated assault, the charges were stayed but I felt guilty for years.

Tempestuous Grape said...

I have a criminal past myself (I was a bad, bad teenager), and I have indeed dated some shady-ass characters in my time. Not anymore though. I'm on the total up-n-up and expect my dude to be as well!

Maja. With a J. said...

You guys have some fascinating stories.

I don't, really. On paper, I am a total goody two shoes.

On paper.

Del Riser said...

@redronnie, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved step dad. My Mom staged a suicide that my father was to save her from, and realize how badly she wanted out of the marriage.

She chose to do it the day after his father died. He called to let her know he was making the four hour trip home, but he was exhausted and stopped to sleep for two hours. No one saved her from the carbon monoxide.

That's when life as I knew it went straight to hell. I could have stabbed a few people too.

Don't ever feel guilty for trying to protect those you love.

Heads up, moving on!

Himmmm said...

Oh gee...I don't think I can even begin to answer the self-arrest question (blushes, head down, kicking rocks with hands in pockets) Shucks. But I CAN say I've never been arrested for anything violent, seriously felonious, or that jeopardized anyone else (other than my own dumbass self) :-)

Except there was that time (as a young crazy man) that me and an actor pal were painting a billboard on Olympic at the FOX Studio lot at 3am and got charged with vandalism. But it was HIS FACE on the friggin billboard! The judge found it funny and dismissed us both. Seemed like a good idea at the time ;-)

Yes, I've dated someone who has been arrested. But technically she hadn't been arrested until AFTER we quit dating (like almost 10 yrs later!). She kinda got wasted and went on a SPREE one night. Like, a HISTORIC spree of fuckedupedness. Then I had to bail her out, but what are pals for?
I did date a model who got drunk and stole a batman stand-up display from Taco Bell. Which led to a cop-chase. Which got her a zillion hrs. of community service for..."stealing batman"! Too funny.

At the rate laws keep getting passed, and outlawing any odd human behavior - I figure EVERYONE will be arrested in the future for 15 minutes. I wish I could take back my actions/arrests but in hindsight? Only I was responsible for my stupidity and they saved my life so sometimes it DOES work out :-)

JasonBlueEyes said...

My female friend has this other friend that has a boyfriend in prison. The girlfriend goes to visit him and asks my friend to go "visit" his buddy in there.

She always says "No."

Maja. With a J. said...

"I did date a model who got drunk and stole a batman stand-up display from Taco Bell."

Is it wrong that I kind of wish she was my friend?

Melanie said...

I have never been arrested, nor have dated anyone that's gotten in trouble with the law. My husband's cousin's kids are a whole different story. One of them robbed a laundry mat, and stole all the coins out of the machines. So what does the dumbass do? Goes to the bank to get them exchanged for paper money! Of course the cops had put the alert out for anyone trying to exchange large amounts of change, and he was arrested immediately. It wasn't his first time being arrested, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Himmmm said...

Wow Melanie...guess they never heard of Coinstar huh?

Maja? Thanks for the love-n-laughs on my parody letter on today's photos! The model? Her name is Vendela Kirsebom-Thommessen. I'll post her cell number if you want to call her. She's still a gaggle of fun these days too when she visits from Norway.

RocketQ and the others who've had serious stories to share? My heart breaks for you all. I am so proud that you're all still going strong - you inspire me whenever I feel sorry for myself or get down (as we all do). Never blame yourselves and know that YOU are the sunlight in others' worlds! Have a great and safe weekend my friends!

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

Personally, I've led a pretty boring life in that regard (did a certain amount of underage drinking and the occasional green leafy substance, and can't believe the number of times I rode home w/friends who were driving drunk off their asses--my guardian angel was obviously putting in lots of overtime!). One thing that just came to mind, though, was that when I was still in Athens, GA, I had a psychic reading done by a young woman whom my then-electrologist recommended (you can't make this stuff up...), who seemed very nice, and for a while she was doing card readings for people at one of the local coffee houses. A year or so later, she and some guy (boyfriend?) ended up getting busted for 1st degree murder, and the last I knew, she was doing LWOP. Scary...

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

Can I second Maja on wanting to hang out w/someone who'd actually steal Batman from Taco Bell? 'Cause that's just beautiful...nobody got hurt, it's funny as hell, and it'll be a great story for her to tell in the nursing home someday (or hell, right now)!

surfer said...

Sadly (or not), I have no juicy stories to share, but have enjoyed reading all of yours.

To everyone who has lost someone to suicide, I only wish you peace. People don't realize what suicide does to those left behind.

I've been feeling pretty crummy this last while (just discovered stuff about my very recent ex and missing my friend who died a few months ago), but realize sadness and loss is part of life, which we all face at some point. I already feel better sharing that.

We will all be fine. And thank you everyone for sharing your really private stories.

Del Riser said...

@surfer, I hope you lose the sads soon. An unbroken heart is sterile and has seen little use. We need to suffer a little every once in awhile so we fully realize the joy in life
when it returns.

You are right, "we will all be fine".

surfer said...

Thanks Del. That means a lot. The sads are awful, especially when you can't sleep because everything is racing through your mind.

I think we're all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I'm grateful I have friends I can talk to (if I feel like sharing), but for those who have only us, here, I'm glad that we can be a sounding board. Sometimes just verbalizing something helps you to start feeling better.

ardleigh said...

I have never been arrested or dated someone who has.

My uncle was routinely arrested for drunk driving. When I was six and answered the phone, rather then even asking for my dad; his brother; he told me--- A SIX YEAR OLD, "Tell your dad I need bail money." CLASSY hunh???? Actually one of the few pictures we have of him as an adult is his mug shots.


He was good for a life lesson for me though. I have always told my family if I wind up dead in a ditch from driving drunk, think murder not stupidity. I don't drink and drive because of his example.

Mary Anne said...

Wow! I got an older half brother in prison. Our mother still makes excuses for him. I haven't had anything to do with him since I was 17. I always knew he was bad news.

Now for my brush with the law. In the early am on the Sunday of Presidents'weekend in 1998, when I was almost twenty-eight, a guy came running out of nowhere into my car. He hit the side adn crashed into my windshield and rolled off. I was only driving about twenty miles an hour and tried to avoid him, but couldn't. I got out of the car and basically freaked. It was like a bad dream, and I got scared. I drove off because a crowd was gathering, and I was in a bad part of town. It did not look good for me.

Needless to say, I went home, and I got arrested. I had NEVER had any problems with the law. I still remember the cuffs and the jail. I was bailed out by my family that night.

I got house arrest because I did not want a felony on my record. The district attorney wanted to give me a felony and no jail time with, I forget how many years of probation and a fine.

I would later come to find out that it very suspicious. There were no reliable witnesses and one witness said I was petite and blond. I'm a 5'7 brunette. The cops stated in the police report that I was not at fault, but I should not have let.

All these years later, I still think this guy and group were up to no good, but I still feel bad about what I did yet, I do not know if I would have done anything differently. Given the weirdness of the situation, and how it happened.

That one incident REALLY made me think, and I changed my life pretty dramatically afterward. Changed my job, went back to school, traveled, and left a dead end relationship.

Also, when people tell me they "know" themselves, I say "sure you THINK you know yourself." The fact of the matter is, you REALLY do not know what you will do in every situation. You can only guess.

Himmmm said...

So, uh...Robin?
Your PSYCHIC got busted for murder?
Wow.
You'd think she'd have seen that one coming, huh?
:-)

Surfer - hang in my friend. Hang in. I hate Hallmark Card-type of Get Happy Horseshit, so you know I'm not being condescending when I say this to you:
Look around you. Just read this board (as I do) and see how AMAZING some of these people are to survive what they've survived! They're my heroes. That ocean of tears can drown you or it can carry you someplace better. Just never give in - never give out - and never, ever give UP!
The only person that can hurt or damage you - is YOU. And you can control your destiny, no matter how out of control it may feel. No matter how helpless you ever feel.

When those dark, endless nights last forever and you wonder if the sun will ever rise for you? Just take a long, deep breath. Youtube a song that takes you back to a happier time. Then step outside and inhale the world around you. The world will keep turning my friend, and you should be here to see what comes next. Keep diggin' buddy ;-) I may not know you or have ever met you, but I can tell you this is true: You are loved.

I love you, and I promise your life WILL get better than those dark nights or blue days. Besides? We're all a bunch of lunatics here anyway :-) But at least it's OUR asylum! Welcome to the Ward! ;-)

surfer said...

To Himmmm — big ((((hugs)))). Thank you for your kind words. But I can assure you I really am fine, just had a very normal, brief bout of the sads. I am by nature, very happy, upbeat, the glass is always half full-type person. Very little gets me down. I just felt comfortable enough to share with my CDAN friends.

And FWIW, my relationship with my bf had been on life support for a while, and just happened to come to a head (end) the same week I lost my friend. So I had a few sleepless nights. Who hasn't?

It's a new year and that means new beginnings. I can't wait to see what lies ahead.

The Black Cat said...

I've never been arrested, I had to go get a background check done for a job once and when I told the policeman my address he got very excited because it was a kind of shady part of town - it was more interesting than the burbs anyway. My background check was a huge disappointment for him and he told me I'd led a very boring life.
I dated very briefly someone who had been arrested for being drunk and disorderly but that was about it to my knowledge.

sussique said...

I can't even begin to spill all my crimes and criminals I have known. So, I won't.

kathy said...

To those who asked: I did not date the guy who'd murdered his wife. Thank god for answering machines.

I did, however, date someone who ended up in jail for a short period of time. He was bi-polar, was acting out and got arrested. Never convicted of anything, but the five months he was waiting for a trial were pretty difficult.

After reading all these stories, I starting to wornder if there are any "normal" "law-abiding" people on the planet.

Rita said...

@Sussique, now yours, I'd like to hear. Starting with that Christmas night debacle with the cops and firemen!

lutefisk said...

The closest I got to dating a criminal was junior year in college. A guy asked me to a B-52'S concert and showed up at my dorm drunk and holding a six pack. We arrived at the Fine Arts Center and he was arrested for disorderly conduct. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do as they hauled him off to the town prison. I sat and watched the concert by myself. He apologized to me as soon as he was released. First and last date.

Dana5570 said...

My disgusting father-in-law is currently serving time for possession of child pornography. He tried to tell us it was sights where the girls looked 18 but really weren't. We later found out it was not just girls and they were FAR younger than 18. I hope he rots in there. He's already had two heart attacks in there so he may not make it out alive. I don't want anything to do with him ever again. He also was accused of molesting his ex-girlfriends sons and he managed to get out of that one. He's now where he belongs!