Thursday, June 19, 2008

Thong Causes Permanent Injury



If I saw this woman wearing a thong, I would suffer a permanent eye injury. The woman in the video above was trying on a thong. Hang on a second. You can actually try on thongs? Seriously? Because to me that just seems nasty. I mean I know on bikinis they have that little band aid thing to keep a woman "protected," but I have never seen such a thing on a thong.

Can you imagine if guys were allowed to try on underwear before purchasing it? Yeah, not going to happen. So, I know women are probably more likely to be clean than a guy, but still it just seems like no one would ever want to go second or third or fourth to try one on.

52 year old Marcrida Patterson said she suffered permanent eye damage when she slipped on a low rise v-string causing a decorative piece of metal to fly off and strike her in the eye. She assured the world she was not using the thong as a slingshot when it happened and was not having any kind of dressing room sex. The thong was part of the Victoria's Secret "Sexy Little Thing Line."

She has not asked for any specific monetary damages as of yet. I'm sure she will want tens of millions of dollars. When the interviewer asked what the thong looked like, Ms. Patterson got up, flipped up her dress and showed everyone. No, not really, but that would have been pretty funny.

Also, if you are going to play up the whole eye injury thing, then get an eye patch. Eye patches are cool and people feel sorry for you when you wear one. You might also want to have your attorney give you a black eye before you go on national television and then you slowly lift the eye patch and America pukes up their coffee and Victoria's Secret just writes you a check right there.

24 comments:

kris said...

I heard this on the news and thought it was hilarious. It will be intersting to see how much she sues for...and disgusting to see how much they pay her.

captivagrl said...

ENT - how in the hell do you know about "that little band aid thing"?

Anonymous said...

This sounds ridiculous. What I would like to see is a demonstration as to how she put that thong on and how was she able to fit in it LOL. Even I wouldn't wear something like that if I didn't have the body for it.

When she was asked how it happen the attorney looked at her like saying yeah how did it happen LOL.

Ted said...

Hey, I'm a lawyer but even I have to admit that some cases should never see the light of day, let alone be submitted to the jury. I say make her attorney liable for the court costs, opposing counsel fees, etc. and then we will see how many bogus lawsuits get filed.

adrian said...

people that clumsy & awkward should not be wearing thongs.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

I love that "better switch to bikini panties" and "thong injuries" are tags on this post.

Marcy said...

I saw this live this morning and she said she had worn them before. This didn't happen when she was trying on a new pair, she had worn this pair once or twice before.
Doesn't make it any less stupid though.

notachance said...

Well, if they were "used" - BY HER before - then the injury must've been caused by operator error.

I think the judge should use slingshot to toss this one out of court.

Notabride said...

hahaha. if you look at the picture of the thong, it looks like the heart is on the BACK of the thong. in order for it to hit her in the eye she would have to have been putting it on the wrong way.

this is ridiculous. there is no way that lawyer can take himself seriously.

mags said...

notachance said...
Well, if they were "used" - BY HER before - then the injury must've been caused by operator error.

I think the judge should use slingshot to toss this one out of court.
------------------------

LOL. Operator error.

What a dumbass lawsuit. I almost spewed my coffee listening to this train wreck.

sylvia--spot on.

jax said...

what about the pain and suffering to the poor thong???

Lisa said...

I second the LOL at "operator error"! I saw this on while getting ready for work yesterday and thought it was a dumb lawsuit. IF your a good attorney, this is such an idiotic waste of time. The report I saw said Victoria's secret asked to see the undies and the Plaintiff refused to hand them over. Bitch has no business in a thong anyway was my first thought.

Lucky said...

This new writer is hilarious.

mags said...

notabride, good call. It does look like the heart would be in the back. Yep, operator error or she was bent over unnaturally putting on the poor, suffering, offending thong.

I loved Meredith in this clip. It was a little funny how the victim of the attacking thong evaded Meredith's question on how the defect could of been caused during a wash cycle.

Ms. said...

I don't see the clip or photo. Just black space.

Jokerista said...

is it just me or is the lawyer trying not to laugh?

Harriet Hellfire said...

Funny how a woman who would wear ass floss is the same kind of woman who is desperate for money and 'fame'. Oh, no, wait, that's not funny at all, it totally makes sense.

Anonymous said...

Another thing supposedly she has cut her eye so why isn't she wearing any bandages. Something fishy here (excuse the pun) LOL.

jax said...

new writer?
not likely.

Ellebee said...

a close friend works at VS, she says that there are woman who are always grabbing thongs waaaaay to small for their lardass....sounds like a rubber band effect....SNAP...OUCH



(I am a lardass and yeah, I like my granny, control panties...)

Nature Girl (Kara) said...

I got coffee up my nose laughing while watching this butt floss story on Morning Express with Robin Meade yesterday.

That woman should NOT be even attempting to wear that so-called underwear.

Ayesha said...

ellebee, I was thinking the same thing. She was probably trying to cram her ass into a "Small". Not to mention that Victoria's Secret is poor quality now.

And these in-denial bitches are messing everything up! I'm a Medium or Size 8. Now I have to try everything on, because I will grab a Medium or 8and find out it's way too big. Everyone needs to get real about their size.

Willow said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Willow said...

Excuse me .. but why was a 52 year old thinking she should buy .. much less wear .. a thong? You're 52 honey .. not 22. This case is a joke .. and obviously a serious - no pun intended - assed ploy for the quick buck.

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