I know many of you read dlisted, and are big fans of Michael K. I too am a big fan, but I wouldn't normally write about him, except he needs our help. See, on his site today Michael K professed his lust for Carrot Top. It's obvious Michael K needs to find a man who can get rid of these urges because frankly, even though Michael is gay, I really thought he would rather take his chances with Paris Hilton rather than the freak of nature known as Carrot Top. To find Carrot Top even remotely attractive or someone you would consider touching with your bare skin is a cry for help. Actually it is just something that makes you want to cry. I don't know if Carrot Top can find some guy to do for free or if he has to pay for it, but I don't care how much money you pay me, I would rather be Denise Richards' house boy or go lingerie shopping with Oscar De La Hoya than to spend some quality alone time in a hotel room with Carrot Top.