Thursday, July 26, 2018

Blind Item #11 - Preface - A Dancing Boy Blind Item

Here's a little secret sneak preview (as in for your eyes only) of the preface to the first dancing boy feature. (It's in the form of a book, as I said, and the preface - which appears in the front matter - explains how I came to write/tell the story. All of the dialog will be signed [ALS], rather than spoken, and in one case - because I'm unable to move/use my hands at a certain point - will be in morse code. See: certain bad actors have taken to eavesdropping on my privileged communications, first with my shrink - the long time radio and tv personality, and subsequently with my attorney/the actress in all this. Also: it precedes the introduction - about the public, private, and secret life of Hollywood [which is v/o] - and to have spoken parts would undermine the build up.)

The set up is as follows. My psychiatrist, exasperated after hearing the same stories over and over, finally suggests or really insists that I go public with them, and of course advises me to get a lawyer first (the NDA with the studio, and everything/everything else). So, I do, and she shows up in town from LA with someone else - this, well, okay, Henry Thomas. (It has to do with the secret global elite stuff too.)

It's in prose form here, and is a rough cut, but I'm sharing in part because of what will follow. Imagine what will happen next. That will be filmed actually happening: a real life detox, in other words.

So, at my house in the woods. I get there to find not just her but them both.
“What's he doing here?”

“Making pizza?”

“I knew I was hiring a lawyer. I didn't realize I was hiring a personal chef too.”

“The order is concerned for your safety.”

“Is that the reason for the dog?”

“He has a different job.”

“Let me guess: actor? Here Cujo, here Lassey. Oh wait, I guess he can't hear me.”

“He works in law enforcement. We found the drugs – all of them.”

“They must have been planted. See?” I signed, showing her my arms.

“Now show us your toes.”

“I'd rather not. They're hardly my best feature.”

“That's an order probey,” the other one said.

I sat down on the sofa, and lifted my left foot.

“Will you ever grow up?” she signed, untying my shoe, and taking it off, followed by my sock. They both examined my toes, and in between them.

“Yep,” he said. “I think that's all we need.”

“And you didn't even share this with your shrink.”

“He told you that?”

“No, but you just did.”

“I'm not going back to rehab.”

“You're right. Rehab is coming to you.”

With that, a car pulled into the driveway...

Also to appear in this sequence, hiding in the closet? A certain millennial tv actress, trying to stage a comeback. What is she doing there? It seems there's been some kind of relationship between us (which may or may not lead to something else, but if it does - the one that takes roughly 3/4 of a year to play out, I mean - it may just make it into certain publications). Also there to chain me to a desk so that I finish writing this thing? The Oscar-winning writer/director closely associated with my producer.

72 comments:

Geeljire said...

DANCING BOY CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

sandybrook said...

Oh okay Dancing Boy write your book, film your movie, keep going to your shrink and deal with your delusions.

Chris P said...

My brain hurts

NE peanut gallery said...

Did. Not. Attempt. To. Read.

What's everyone having for lunch today? Had the ol' chicken bake myself.

gauloise said...

I have just given my solution to this blind in sign language

Flashy Vic said...

Let me guess, Gauloise, a loosely clenched fist moving up and down?

Thonker said...

@NE are you insiderher?

T. W. said...

If Dancing Boy has been telling the truth all along no one will believe him cuz he is incoherent and comes across as a lunatic.

SeeDanRun said...

I'll just wait until someone who fits the description a "millennial TV actress trying to stage a comeback" announces a pregnancy.

Epileptic Spudmonkey said...

seriously, does anyone read this niggers shit???....

Cathy Cooper said...

Ok - these dancing boy blinds are written so badly, I have NO idea what this person is saying. So, I don't care, will be skipping them. Either go to the police or shut the f*ck up.

Cathy Cooper said...

I'm having chinese takeout for lunch.

J said...

I don't give a shit.

cheesegrater15 said...

I had vegan "chicken" salad with celery sticks and peaches. It's such a great recipe, I might make it next week.

La-Juice said...

I'm sorry, I have given up on dancing boy blinds. I just can't.

nonyabusiness said...

Please stop letting this man write blind items. No one gives a fuck, except for a select few.

LooksLikeCRicci said...

I think I'm just going to wait for the movie on this one...

Satan 666 said...

Work ordered pizza for us for lunch. The best tasting pizza is free pizza :p

Brayson87 said...

Nah brick oven lol

DazedandConfused said...

I had Caesars salad and watermelon for lunch.
Not together though, cause that's icky.
It was still tastier than this blind.

filmfanb said...

Oh Ken....no one cares.

Brayson87 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brayson87 said...

DB is starting to remind me of Burroughs:

"To put it country simple earth has a lot of things other folks might want like the whole planet and maybe these folks would like a few changes made like more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and room for their way of life. We've seen this happen before right in these United States. Your way of life destroyed the Indians' way of life. Gave them reservations didn't you?"

-"The End" (1972) William S. Burroughs

AkhaldanSolo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AkhaldanSolo said...

"Written so badly" seems to be the theme when criticizing Dancing Boy. A nice indicator of the kind of empathy that exists for us all out there in the world. Some of you can see it's brilliance, in all it's flaws the character that is emerging before us. These blinds are of course difficult, as difficult as it is to live with this debilitating curse that comes with having been abused. Is his disjointed and dysfunctional prose not only a living, breathing vapor of the current struggle of this one human or a reflection of the angst, apathy and confusion of the reader?

Trace said...

I made Vietnamese spring rolls for my lunch.

Muckduck said...

I laughed wayyyy too hard at this 😂😂😂

hhstarr said...

Toaster strudel- I was in a hurry. And 2 clementines.

J said...

Akhaldan, nice try, but no: the prose is lame and the narrative is stultifyingly self-absorbed.

Randaleese said...

If I wanted to read a novel, I’d buy a book.
Dance..sashay away...boy.

Sara, Making It Work said...

Ok, I'll play.
The writer/ director at the end is Bill Condon.

Himmmm said...

Dancing Boy, I would like to be involved in this project. I think you are a genius. How can I contact you? This could be the biggest movie of all time.

Sara, Making It Work said...

And I went to Cracker Barrel with my mom for lunch. Had the lemon pepper rainbow trout, fruit, and Brussels sprout/ kale salad. It was quite good.

shakey said...

You spelled Lassie wrong.

riffer73 said...

If I had the time I would program a "Dancing Boy Translation Engine".

Brayson87 said...

@Sara, would you recommend rainbow trout over salmon?

Ann R. Key said...

White pizza and a peach

cg said...

Tiger Woods

shelley serrano said...

I think the only way to get these DB blinds to stop is by not commenting on them. If it is just crickets, maybe they will stop posting them

Sara, Making It Work said...

@Brayson, if Cracker Barrel has salmon, I didn't know. The trout is good, as is the fried catfish. Honestly I don't know if I would want salmon from there, if just because try have so many other good choices. But I do like salmon at other places, and I make it at home.

Also surprisingly good is their chef salad.

Cody said...

@himmmm .... Could be very interesting if someone else wrote the script 😊

plot said...

" Some of you can see it's brilliance"

Seriously?

Brilliance?

Hungarian goulash and dark bread.

Himmmm said...

I could write it it, fund it, compose all the music, and act it in it. I do it all. I’m going to get some of my worshipers to outline some ideas for me to work with.

Littledrunkinhooker said...

My brain just exploded!

Aimless Spectator said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Himmmm said...

Plot, what is it going to take for me to get in your pants? I could get you so wet....
I bet you are a real pleaser aren’t you?

Post Cards From The Edge said...

Ok, I was starting to feel bad for the beatings dancing boy gets but the dude must be a fucking masochist!

orangesoda said...

Celery and peaches?! You're crazier than Dancing Boy, cheesegrater.

orangesoda said...

I was too busy for lunch to day, so had to skip it. Hence the lack of my pointless comments on CDaN, haha.

Dahling said...

I've come to the conclusion that either DB is not whom he has led us to believe, or his employed "writing" style is an absolute red herring. I've perused a few of his longer posts on various social media sites lately. The individual many of us assume DB to be exhibits a decent mastery of mixing thoughts & letters on those sites. His writing is as coherent and readable as one could assume any graduate of -- say -- SLC may be. For this reason I enjoy reading his blinds. There's a mystery afoot folks. Of this I'm certain.

Gylly said...

Hey Diane!

Ali B said...

I went to the Outback with my Mom today for lunch and I ordered the coconut shrimp with a ceasar salad and soup. It was pretty good. Mom have broccoli and chicken that she enjoyed.

I have had to stop reading the dancing boy blinds as I can't make much sense out of them, and then, decided that I'm actually not that interested in them. I liked the Himmmmmm blinds but I guess that person left. So, I check on this every now and then to see what's up.

Green Tea said...

Dancing boy, dancing boy
What are they feeding you?
Dancing boy, dancing boy
It's not your fault.

Cree said...

I came straight to the comments looking for a translation; I'm sad to see there isnt one.

CL said...

can anyone make any sense of this one?

Sara, Making It Work said...

@Aimless ,
this "Himmmm" is not actually THE Himmmm, just a troll.

AbbyRock said...

DB, you had me at "My psychiatrist, exasperated after hearing the same stories over and over.." LOL
This is where I would tell my shrink, "I'm paying you 10 bazillion dollars an hour. Now, shut the fuck up and listen!"

I enjoy the blinds- well, hate to say enjoy- more like I'm fascinated. If all of this bad stuff happened to you, you have my sympathy and my prayers.

Guesser said...

@Aimless Spectator, chill out. This Himmmm is fake,and nobody would hire Geeljire as a sock puppet. There seems to be a method to Dancing Boy 's madness,so I'm in. Why no guesses on the actress? And if Dancing Boy leaves,where do we talk about food? I had chicken and white bean soup homemade,left overs.

anotherfailedactor said...

I’m so lost

memyselfandi said...

I can't stop focusing on the fact that he typed ALS instead of ASL. The dialogue with be done via Lou Gehrig's disease as opposed to American Sign Language? Little things make me crazy. I couldn't concentrate on the rest.

Jennacheryl said...

Wilmar?????

noonespecial said...

I don't get it.

rosie riveter said...

rainbow trout over salmon?
Um. No.

plot said...

"I've come to the conclusion that either DB is not whom he has led us to believe"

You don't say.

"this "Himmmm" is not actually THE Himmmm, just a troll."

I different kind of troll, perhaps.

Robert Blinn said...

He needs a ghostwriter.

JL said...

How much is Dancing Boy paying CDAN for his "work" to be published?

TabithaW said...

I pity his poor editor.

Jimmy said...

Why can't Dancing Boy be caged at the border?

Amazing Quotes said...

Very Nice And Interesting Post
Great Quotes - Train Hard Quotes
Best Quotes - Success Quotes
Positive Life Quotes - Image Bank
Future Quotes - حكمة اليوم
اقوال وحكم - حكم واقوال

OKC Teacher said...

Wow! You do you, Dancing Boy...
[Sonic mozzarella sticks with marinara sauce & a Route 44 Coke for lunch]

Melissa Lyn said...

I am gonna say that prick Feldman is dancing boy.

Post Cards From The Edge said...

Omg, I think you' could be right! But this site hasn't been kind to him. However I really think dancing boy is a machinist.

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