Friday, March 28, 2008

Four For Friday

#1 - This is quite the pair. A former adult film actress and a member of a girl's singing group were all over each other at a recent event. They also seemed to go the bathroom together every five minutes. Weak bladders I guess.

#2 - Another singer. This one is young and married and female, and is definitely an A list singer if there were such a category. Not married to a celebrity so you can just take that Avril Lavigne guess right out of your head. Seems the thing they most enjoy in their sex life is bringing in another person. Always guys. Seems our young husband can't quite decide which team he is playing for and likes the extra boost that a guy brings to the bedroom.

#3 - This former B list television actress on a very hit network show with a very catchy name is now a C lister. It is no wonder her career is in the crapper if she treated her co-workers the way she treats her husband. At a party this week, she yelled at him not once, not twice, but at least three times always in front of people. "Idiot," "Can't believe I'm married to you," and "I told you no ice," were just some of the things she made sure everyone heard. Her husband just seemed to put up with it and weakly smiled when people looked his way.

#4 - Most of the time when you are having an affair with a co-worker it is easy to keep your spouse away from the co-worker. But what do you do when you have to walk the red carpet with your wife, while your mistress is standing right next to you and starts chatting with your wife? Such was the case this week during one of the press events for new television shows. The show is award winning and brilliant. A drama. The actress is a C lister with a few starring roles in a couple of television shows. The married actor is also C list with this show being his first big break.

Random Photos Part One

I think Angela Lansbury deserves the top spot. Someone tell me different.
Give me a couple bottles of vodka and a Good Eats marathon and I am set for the weekend.
I will say one thing for Drake Bell. He is not afraid to make a statement with his fashion choices.
Counting Crows - New York
Hugh Jackman in his bathing suit. For other celebrity dads in bathing suits, US Weekly has a whole bunch. The reason I am giving you all these guys will become obvious shortly.
Fergie actually makes Quentin Tarantino look good. That is saying something. Not sure what it is saying, but it is saying something.
The new film from the Farrelly Brothers. Bitch and Bitchier. Also known as Eva Amurri and Lydia Hearst.
People in Australia are willing to pay Dennis Rodman to open a club.
Someone said yesterday they wanted a book from Tatum O'Neal's offspring. I want a book from Dakota Johnson.
Reason #1 for the Hugh Jackman photo. Although I must admit that Ashley Olsen doesn't look half bad.
Mary Kate on the other hand. Not so much.
Mother daughter talks in 2008.
Throw on some turquoise earrings and Mischa Barton is ready for a k.d lang concert.
Leslie Nielsen is about 30 years older than Pamela Anderson and about 30 times better looking.
Selita Eubanks at her 25th birthday party. I know, I know looks about 45 with a really bad wig.
Marisa Tomei always looks really good before she gets to the open bar.
I don't think that when Mena Suvari is about 70, that the tattoo is going to look quite so good. Hell, it doesn't look good now. WTF was she thinking?
Marilu Henner still looks great.
Oh yes, Tracy. She is much classier than your wife.
Simon Rex at 7pm.
Simon Rex at midnight.
See. This is why I love Random Photos. Stephen Root and Wayne Knight.
You probably don't watch as much porn as I do, but Sienna Miller getting into this van with strangers kind of reminds me of a Bang Brothers film.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Hollywood actress is stalking a British reality TV star to the point pals have confiscated her mobile to stop her calling the lowlife?

Freddie Prinze Jr. Must Never Get Any

I almost made the headline something like Sarah Michelle Gellar doesn't have anything interesting to talk about. However, I don't think it would fit. In the latest issue of Maxim, Sarah Michelle Gellar is forced to relate stories from events that happened several years ago just to find anything remotely interesting in her life.

She basically relates a time during filming of Southland Tales where she was supposed to be a porn star and doing a sex scene, but had just eaten some turkey and was too sleepy to do a good job. "For a porn star, I didn't get much action. I filmed a love scene on Thanksgiving, and I had eaten all this turkey and mashed potatoes and was like, 'I seriously have to film a sex scene right now?' "I was so tired from all the tryptophan that I just wanted to sleep."

If you read that sentence and don't think that Freddie Prinze Jr. has not heard every single excuse imaginable, then you just have never been in a relationship. SMG was getting paid to do a sex scene. Paid, and she still felt sleepy and disinterested. How long has she been married? Freddie probably is lucky to get sex once a month. His porn collection must fill shelf after shelf in their house. SMG is probably encouraging him every night to take care of business on his own.

How much turkey did she eat? Yes, people get sleepy after turkey, but it is generally because they ate lots and lots. Much more than any 100 pound actress can eat. If it really made you that sleepy, do you think it would be such a popular cold cut, or that Subway would sell it? Or Arby's? People would be falling asleep in the car on the way back from lunch.

If you think I am wrong about her making excuse after excuse, you let me know. But you know I am right and that poor Freddie knows his hand really well. No wonder they don't have kids. If it doesn't happen on his birthday, lets face it, it is not going to happen.

Michael Lohan Wants Lindsay To Make More Money

I think Lindsay Lohan made a smart choice in taking on the role of one of Charles Manson's followers in the film Manson Girls. Michael Lohan thinks that she should have done American Pie 4, The Revenge Of The Pie. In an interview with US Magazine last night, Michael said, "I really hope that Lindsay gets back to the kinds of films that led to her success. I'd like to see her do more mainstream films."

What he means when he says that is that Manson Girls doesn't pay all that much, while if she goes ahead and does Herbie 2 Fully Stupid, that Lindsay will walk away with a couple of million and Michael will not have to be out there hustling as hard. Oh, you thought that he actually wanted Lindsay to succeed because he was genuinely interested in her success? LMAO.

Michael's determination of success is money and how much of it he can skim off the top. Awards and accolades don't mean anything if there is not some money involved. I'm sure that he calls Lindsay everyday and pushes and pushes and pushes. I've also decided that he is much worse than Joe Simpson. Joe Simpson is a perv, but he is good at what he does, and I really do think he wants what is best for his daughters. He lives through them, gets chicks through them, and is a big hypocrite, but I still think he wants what is truly best for his daughters and if they decided to quit show business and move to Tahiti, I actually think he would be fine with that. Michael on the other hand. Not so much.

Stop here if you don't want to read anything nice about Lindsay.

By the way. I trash Lindsay often. But, I also am willing to admit when she does something great. The film Chapter 27 comes out next week, and Lindsay Lohan is amazing in it. The problem is that it was filmed two years ago and she is not the same person or actress. She was absolutely perfect in that role, even though she probably got paid scale. Jared Leto is also really good in the film, but the film itself goes soooooooo slow that the actors are kind of punished for it.

Ted C. Blind Item #2

Snarla Sledgehammer isn’t known for being subtle. She’s made her name—some say living—by being entirely in-your-face, whether you deserve it or not. And in the so-hip arena of blogging/TV commentary, the multitalented, attractive-enough babe (who’s got more hair than style sense, to be brutally Snarla-esque about it) currently shines, struts and reigns supreme. But then again, that arguable pro point’s hardly the thrust of this Vice.

Several years ago, SSH had a child, Spawna Sledgehammer. Lovely kid, really, but due to Snarla’s overzealous prioritizing of all things kiddie, turned out Ms. S couldn’t even take a dump without consulting her offspring’s homework schedule, much to the chagrin of Snarla’s friends and colleagues, who became increasingly frustrated with being cast aside—always in the name of playdates, and such. Snarla became reliable for snapping at her fancyass fellow workers not to interfere with her all-holy maternal duties. Not wise. But then she made the truly unfortunate choice of repeating the same self-obsessed behavior with trusted confidantes, including Pete Priss-Ass, a well-known fagola fellow boob-tuber and writer, whom Spawna had always leaned on for lengthy bitch sessions.

Much to the shock of many, Pete—not exactly a choosy customer in the great grocery store of love (he often squeezed melons he really shoulda stayed away from)—got himself engaged. Stunned, but more so ecstatic, PPA rang up his good amiga, whom he adored, and, absolutely beaming over the phone, invited Snarla & fam to the small, out-of-state ceremony.

“It’s not convenient,” was SSH’s first reaction. No congrats. No words of good-wishing gooeyness, just a thorough chastising for Pete’s thoughtlessness in selecting a wedding date not conducive to—you guessed it—Spawna’s activity schedule. Ouch! Does Pete have some kinda S&M thing going for his friendships, or did he just not get the memo that hetero day-planning always trumps homo?

Well At Least Katie Will Sell Tickets

Katie Holmes is going to make her Broadway debut this spring, in the drama All My Sons which was written by Arthur Miller. So far, Katie has only committed to doing the workshop for the play which is in May. The play also stars real actors such as John Lithgow and Dianne Wiest. Hey, weren't they married in Footloose? That just came to me. That is very cool.

Anyway, at this point I am considering Katie's performance in Pieces Of April a one off and I am not convinced she is that great of an actress. I know that she probably wants to be taken seriously as an actress, but doing Broadway will just expose every flaw she has as an actress.

Oh, I am sure ticket sales will be through the roof and Scientologists will be out in force buying tickets and forcing the crowd to do standing ovations. Tom Cruise and Suri will show up opening night, and then disappear. Well not actually disappear, just monitor her from afar like when she was shooting Mad Money. Turn up with his fake smile, and soundbytes.

Each night there will be a different celebrity minder in the front row, anxious to get backstage and make sure Katie doesn't say or do anything she is not supposed to. I just creep myself out when I write this. But, you can all see this right? You can see Tom Cruise standing in the front row opening night in his 3 piece suit giving that fake ass smile as he claps the loudest. There will be photos of him outside her dressing room with flowers to give her. Suri will be in Tom's arms. It is all just so staged that even three months in advance we all know how it is going to play out. Don't they know that we know that?

Who Casts These Dancers?

Each and everyday I am more convinced that the professional dancers on Dancing With The Stars are actually people who would have rather been on The Real World or one of those Fox shows where everyone gets naked and wants to have sex to stay on the show longer. I mean I guess it adds intrigue and a certain amount of chemistry to the show when you know the dancers are actually getting it on. So, when they show all those films of them working hard, you know that later they are going to go to a hotel and screw like rabbits. I say hotel because I can't keep track of which dancers is with which celebrity and from which years.

Now, my memory isn't so great anymore, but I seem to recall that Karina was living with someone when she started dancing with Mario Lopez. She then started doing the nasty with him and at the same time still saw the other guy she had been living with or boyfriend to. Then I guess that guy got tired of it so she moved in with Mario Lopez while he kept his strange obsession with the Panettiere family alive. Now, according to the NY Post, even though Karina is living with Mario, she was all over her new dance partner Mario. They were making out and groping as they were leaving the Four Seasons here in LA. I do have to give her some credit about actually finding another guy named Mario. It makes it much easier to let yourself go during sex if you don't have to worry about what name you need to call out.

Have You Heard About Remy Ma?

You may have read yesterday that female rap star Remy Ma was convicted of assault and faces up to 25 years in prison. Ma, real name Remy Smith, shot her friend outside a nightclub in July of last year thinking the woman had stolen $3,000 from her.

Smith yelled "Oh my god!" as the verdict was delivered, while her brother was taken out of the courtroom after shouting "This is bulls**t!"

Smith was ordered to remain in prison without bail until her sentencing on April 23.

Madeka Barnes Joseph told the court that she was shot in the abdomen and had to undergo three operations during her stay in the hospital.

I know most of us think that justice has to different levels. One for those who have, and one for the have nots. Completely true, but when there are like 20 witnesses to a shooting, justice starts to equalize just a bit.

The thing is that Remy and her brother and her entire family totally bought into the stereotypes that Remy would walk because she is famous. They didn't care, weren't nervous, and did not even take the whole thing seriously. At one point it had to be explained to Remy why there needed to even be a trial. Apparently she thought that as a celebrity, she should just go free.

Her defense team tried the tactic that it was an accident. That was about all they had to throw out there. Unfortunately once you take the gun out, even if it is an accident, that assault charge is coming. Pretty tough to take a gun out and hold it in your hand and say that part was an accident.

Ted C. Blind Item #1

If this one’s true, Butch Spit-Spat should haul out a friggin’ movie about it—after all, isn’t that something he does rather well?

BSS, never one to be exactly primo to the ladies after bedding them, was nevertheless around one of them long enough to father a kid, now a teenager. And according to an outraged acquaintance of Blondie-Babe, a rising young twentysomething honey-haired actress, Blondie’s screwing Butch’s 15-year-old boy. Said amigo is trying to get B2 hauled into jail, much to the Spit-Spat boy’s great dissatisfaction, I’m sure.

Jeez. Don’t know whether to call the cops or Entertainment Tonight on this one. Both would treat the story the same, I suspect.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Today's Blind Items

#1 - This B/C list television actress who was one of the stars of a very long running hit show is on a new show now. She has made it very clear to producers that she is willing to do anything to stay on the show longer and is already dropping hints about how she is going to make sure she is the main focus of the show.

Another of my this is gold in another country items comes from Korea.

#2 - This 20 something actress who became famous for something before turning to acting has been in films and television shows, but she is about to become more known for her affair with the head of a major company in Korea. Seems the guy filmed one of their sessions and our guy's wife has a copy of the tape. Apparently the wife screened it for a few of her friends.

Random Photos Part One

Gabrielle Anwar is one of my favorite people in the entire world and therefore gets to be on top today.
This is like the second time in about a month that Andrew McCarthy has shown up here. Do you think he sits around and gets depressed about how he went from the top of the world to a guy who only gets mentioned when he shows up at an event?
Anti-Flag - New York

Kate Bosworth and May Andersen have to be wondering just what in the hell could make Helena Christensen look so damn awful. Maybe it is her new boyfriend, but she just looks messed up.
Speaking of messed up, Fergie turns "33" today.
In case you were wondering what happened to Eric Benet after he and Halle Berry broke up. Looks like he isn't going out alone much.
That new baby is slowly killing Chris Noth. By next month he will look like Michael Chiklis.
Calvin Klein on the other hand looks incredible.
Leona Lewis is the first British female to top the US charts in 20 years. Of course Madonna thinks she is British, but that doesn't count.
Glad to see that US actresses are not the only ones who enjoy this particular pose. This is Kaori Momoi at some event yesterday. She does have nice nails though.
There really is nothing nice about this.
But, it doesn't seem to stop 20 year old girls from wanting to f**k him anyway.
This is Jeff Ma. He is one of the people that "21" is based on.
It is really hard to believe that Steve Buscemi has never won a Golden Globe or Academy Award. He deserves one. He can do anything from drama to Adam Sandler and I think it sucks that he has not won a big award yet. Hell, he has only been nominated for one Golden Globe, and that is just outrageous.
To most people, this symbol represents peace. In Pamela Anderson's world it lets you know how many people she has done that particular day.
I love Mary McCormack, but just can't stop thinking of her as Howard Stern's wife.
Well on the positive side, it looks like Mary Kate Olsen has gained some weight.
Hello Mila Kunis.
Violante Placido - Rome
The opening of the Vitality Show in London.

Tatum O'Neal and her daughter.
Smashing Pumpkins - Sydney


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