Friday, January 23, 2009

Four For Friday

#1 - Technically I guess this film actor is a B lister but he is definitely A list when it comes to name recognition. Our actor got in some well publicized trouble awhile back. What wasn't made public is the real reason the cops were called. Seems he called a clerk the N word.

#2 - Now, I know there are some bad dates out there, but you would think that if you are in your 20's you wouldn't have to have your teenage girlfriend pay for all your dates and your clothes and if you get cash from the parents it is the same thing because she is earning all the money anyway.

#3 & 4- This NHL player has himself a really nice celebrity girlfriend who he claims to love. Hasn't stopped him from having strippers called up to his room on every road trip. I'm sure the girlfriend would be pleased.

Not So Fast Dakota - New Moon Casting News

So, yesterday the internet was all abuzz about Dakota Fanning playing the part of Jane in the upcoming sequel to Twilight, New Moon. Although I wasn't convinced she would be good for the part, after reading all of your comments I decided she wouldn't be half bad. However, it might be all too much too soon anyway. Now this could be a ploy by the producers to get Dakota to make a decision, but my source says that as of two days ago, actresses were still auditioning for the role of Jane in the movie. If Dakota had been cast, they wouldn't be doing that. If it is a negotiating ploy, they might be.

The part is definitely going to go to someone who is 15 or 16 years old, so that would seem to give Dakota a shot and not the 28 year old actress that a big name agency is trying to shove down the producers' throats.

Random Photos Part One

Neil Young - Sydney
Albert Brooks and his wife. Albert seems to be holding up pretty well and his wife is lovely.
I know Bill Nighy has been in twice this week, but how can you not put his photo in again when he stands right next to one of the coolest posters ever.
I'm guessing that maybe Chris Ashworth had a beverage or two on the way to the red carpet.
Courteney Cox looks like she just smelled the perfume she is hawking for Avon, and doesn't look too pleased at what she smelled.
Calista Flockhart makes an appearance.
She was out supporting Harrison Ford who got some kind of Senior Olympics medal or maybe it was an aviation award. I like the idea of him competing in the Senior Olympics better though. Oh, and in his Indy hat. Shorts, t-shirt, running shoes and Indy hat.
Eva Longoria on the set of Desperate Housewives.
"Fletch, 6'5", 6'9" with the afro."
George Clooney on the set of ER.
I think the US owes an apology to the UK. Apparently the entire sideways baseball cap looking like an idiot thing has made its way over to the UK, and on behalf of all of us, we're sorry.
Oh, from this angle you can't see Jeff Bridges' ponytail. Too bad. It looks ridiculous. Seems to be my favorite word of the day which kind of sucks because it is hard to always type.
Jon Lovitz - Los Angeles
Shape with their monthly tribute to the world of photoshopping and airbrushing. This month it is Jaime Pressly.
I am going to go ahead and say some Indian guy made a few bucks taking a cell phone picture of Julia Roberts.
Lorenzo Lamas needs to eat some food. The guy is fading to nothing.
Liv Tyler right after she got out of the dentist's office. The good thing about having dentures is that I don't have to go often.
Len Wiseman without his significant other. Interesting.
The one and only Morgan Freeman. I forgot to look to see if there were any photos of him with his new girlfriend.
I can't believe it, but I think this is the first time I have ever had Mercedes Ruehl on the site anywhere.
A truly random photo. Hugh Jackman and Martha Stewart.
Michael Sheen and Rhona Mitra who appears to be wearing about a million bucks worth of jewels.
This is who Michael came with to the premiere.
From l to r, Michelle Trachtenberg (work), Sophia Bush (no work), Olivia Palermo (maybe. That nose doesn't look right)
Always have room for Neil Patrick Harris.
I give the Princess a lot of grief, but I really do like her, and she seems totally into these children.
Phylicia Rashad is your new Jenny Craig spokesperson. At this point I can't remember who is working for which weight loss programs.
Rodrigo Santoro is a good looking guy.
Sneaky Sound System - Sydney
The Grates - Sydney
I have to say that for the past few days Victoria Beckham has been looking rough. The dead animal doesn't look so good either.

Jennifer Lopez Getting Divorced

Yeah, yeah, we have heard it all before, but I finally, finally, finally have someone who has actually spent time with Jennifer Lopez on at least a weekly basis, and sometimes more often. No, it isn't a maid or a nanny or any kind of help. According to the source, Jennifer never wears her ring at home and refuses to discuss Marc Anthony ever. Jennifer is spending more and more time here in LA alone and is working on projects for herself with no input or help from Marc.

My source asked how come Marc wasn't working on these things with her as was usually the case, and Jennifer replied it was because they are getting a divorce.

Quick Hits Part Two

Darnell Wrote A Book - All of you are probably saying who in the heck is Darnell? Darnell is our hero. Darnell is the guy who went to jail for robbing, extorting, and violating Joe Francis in ways that Joe had not experienced previously until he went to prison. Yeah, that Darnell. I wrote about him previously. It is a shame he is in prison for doing to Joe what probably every father of every girl from GGW would have liked to have done. Anyway, Darnell and a ghostwriter got together and put together a great book on Paris Hilton and all the other people who hang out in her world. It doesn't pull any punches and Gawker has gone ahead and scanned a few choice sections. Read them here. It's fun I promise.

Sarah Jessica Parker - I was going to say she is happy. She told People Magazine that she and Matthew love being married and the best part of marriage is being married. I know, but she said it. Maybe she was smoking weed beforehand, I don't know. She did also say that she thinks SATC2 is going to be made but she is not the best source for that. Umm. And who would be better? If you say it is a go, the studios will run around screaming and the cameras will be rolling faster than Samantha can take off her clothes.

I Love Morrissey - I have always loved Morrissey. Not in the I'm going to hop up on stage and give him a lily or anything love, but I love his music. Plus, he let Girl In A Coma open for him this past year and I love them. Oh, and of course there was the whole Smiths thing and now he is pro reunion and it is Marr that is holding it up. Therefore I know that deep down Morrissey is willing to play for money if it is astronomical. I like that. But, what I really love is his interview with Maxim Canada this month. Some choice quotes are:

"It will be worth being dead just to get away from Victoria Beckham."

When asked he would most like to kick in the eye, he replied,

"Jamie Oliver. That meat-fed horror Jamie 'Orrible' Oliver. If he's a master chef, then I'm Miss Brazil 1970."

Your Turn

Worst Date Or First Date? Take your pick, or talk about them both.

Last week brought up so many good memories of the past and good times, that I thought I would go back to the past for this one as well. I am sure it was probably not as exciting as Farmer Ted's, but tell us all about your first date. No, dancing with someone in the gym doesn't count. I want an actual picked up and went somewhere kind of date. I vividly remember asking my first date out. Where it was, what I was thinking and what I said. I remember my first date also of course, but the memory that has stayed brighter was the actual asking out.

As for my worst date ever, I wanted it to be over five seconds after it started, and it wasn't even a blind date. She was just that different or I was sober. I don't know which to this day.

Quick Hits Part One

Kelly Goes To Rehab - Sharon Osbourne confirmed to Radar Online that Kelly Osbourne checked into a rehab facility and will be there for the next 30 days. I blame Amy Winehouse. Didn't Kelly try and spend some time with Amy and get her clean? Yeah, I think that was probably a really bad idea in retrospect. Then she was saying how she had conquered her demons that she could help Amy conquer hers. Sharon didn't say why Kelly was going to rehab and some people of someone said it was for personal issues. I think it will also look good in front of the judge when Kelly has to go to court for that assault charge which she probably would have done drunk or sober, but it will still look good. Get better Kelly. Don't like your mom, but you seem pretty cool.

Engagement News - I hate engagement news, but since there were two stories I figured I could combine them into one and make it look really wordy and important. Apparently Kneepads got it wrong when they said Gisele and Tom are engaged. A direct quote from Gisele to some Brazil media says that she isn't engaged, and doesn't know when or if she will get engaged. But if she does she wants a small wedding in Brazil. In actual engagement news with an actual ring being put on an actual finger, Fred Armisen of SNL got engaged to Elisabeth Moss of Mad Men. Considering that their relationship didn't even really go public until a week ago, I would say that's fast. At this rate, they will probably get married next week, have a kid by the end of February and be divorced in time for St. Patrick's Day.

That's A Shocker - Sienna Miller is going to make her Broadway debut, and guess what? Yeah, she has to play someone who is sexy. Considering I don;t think she is very attractive or sexy I don;t see how she keeps getting these kinds of roles. I mean I know she will take off her clothes for any movie she is in but that doesn't make her sexy or attractive, it just means she is comfortable being naked and enjoys getting the extra money that comes with that. In the play I don't really understand her role except that she is supposed to be some rich guy's daughter who has lots of sex with the hired help.

Alleged Paris Hilton Burglar Arrested

A man by the name of Troy Thomas has been arrested and charged with two burglaries, one of which is Paris Hilton's house. Thomas, who is 45 years old is alleged to have committed almost 150 home burglaries in the past three years and is known for specializing in celebrities. In April of 2007 it is alleged that Thomas broke into the house of Duran Duran guitarist John Taylor and a safe removed.

The police are not saying right now if Thomas had any assistance either inside or otherwise in the alleged burglary of Paris Hilton's house which happened last month. Paris says that over $2M worth of jewels were taken. Yeah. That's what she told her insurance company, but how many of us really believe Paris had $2M worth of jewels. Show of hands? Yeah, no one. She might value them at $2M but they were probably worth a couple of hundred bucks.

Thomas is not known for working alone, targets the homes of celebrities so I just think they need to look for the common denominator and I bet that Paris knows them really well.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which d-bag actor beats his beautiful action-star girlfriend?

I Will Show You Ridiculous

I read some statement today that Rolling Stone guitarist Ronnie Wood released through his people. In the statement, Ronnie who is 61 says that reports his 20 year old girlfriend is pregnant are ridiculous. "These are all ridiculous rumours and we would like to make it clear that Ekaterina is not pregnant."

Well, I had not even heard the rumors, but I don't know why they would be anymore ridiculous than him leaving his wife of 23 years after meeting a waitress at a restaurant and hanging out with her a couple of times. Why is the thought that she might be pregnant ridiculous? Did he get the snip snip done or is she sterile because otherwise I don;t think any rumors like that are ridiculous.

I think what he did to his wife is pretty ridiculous, not to mention his kids. Hey, if you are not happy in your relationship that is one thing, but to go about it in the way he did was just wrong. It was like Balthazar Getty wrong. Of course maybe he thinks it's ridiculous because they haven't had sex. I mean maybe they just hang out all day and play Guitar Hero. That way he can introduce her to all the Rolling Stones songs since she probably had never heard of them before she met him. In fact I think they had one of their farewell tours about the time she was born.

On the plus side at least she isn't a teenager anymore. Those headlines were ridiculous. A 61 year old guy sleeping with a teenager. No, nothing ridiculous about that. Creepy as hell, but not ridiculous.

Everyone Loves A Tell All Book

To me there is not much more joy in the world of gossip than a tell-all book. They are usually very short, easy reads with just enough juice to keep you going through the next 30 pages of monotony. I actually have a theory that you could combine the juice of every tell-all book ever written and still probably be under 1,000 pages for the whole thing. In fact, I think some editor should just do that. Stop wasting time compiling short stories or the best of whatever for a particular year, just edit all the tell-all books and biographies for their essence. That would be a great book.

Anyway, the subject of this tell-all book is Angelina Jolie, and specifically her relationship with Brad Pitt. The book is being shopped by one of Angelina's former bodyguards who was never asked to sign a confidentiality agreement.

Uh oh. That spells trouble.

In Touch says that Angelina is currently trying to block the publication of the book. The bodyguard was not just a guy they hired off the streets for a couple of weeks, but was the head of her entire security detail. He worked for Angelina for several years until he was fired by Brad Pitt last year.

Apparently this guy was around when Brad and Angelina met so we will get another version of that story and may be why Brad went to such great pains a few months ago to establish a timeline of the relationship. The book also promises lots of details about the sex life of Brad and Angelina. I really don't think I want to know how the guy learned all about that. Maybe that is why he got fired.

Congratulations US Weekly

I don't know who kicked over US Weekly's sand castle, but they have joined the world of real reporters and not butt kissing sycophants for at least a week anyway. They actually trashed a celebrity on their cover this week. A celebrity with a publicist who presumably has more clients. To say I am shocked would be an understatement. I doubt it will last, but for one week US Weekly did throw out their version of snark.

As you can see by the photo, their wrath was directed at Jennifer Love Hewitt. Using a source from the set of the show Ghost Whisperer, US, actually gets some juice not first processed and extracted by Jennifer's people. Oh, and the great thing about this source? It is actually named. There is someone actually credited with the quotes. They won't ever get a job on another television show and US doesn't pay for stories but they did get to see their name in print. Hope that gets you through the recession.

The story is about how Jennifer is to blame for the demise of the relationship she had with Ross McCall. Well, yeah, I think I said that before. She has never been in a relationship that has lasted because she is immature and people get tired of the fact that she needs her mom every five seconds or live with her or be her pseudo mom when mom isn't there.

The source, who is the former costume designer for the show called Jennifer immature and needy. Check, we got that already.

She also said,

"Jennifer would call McCall up and go, 'Can you come and sit with me? I'm cold,'" she said. "She would drag him on the set and then pout and they'd fight. Mainly, it was her needing something from him: 'Can you say you love me?'"

Apparently the fact that Jennifer had a full-time job was also part of the problem. "It was clear they were not on the same level. It was hard for him."

Jennifer was so insecure about her body that, "She would try on clothes over clothes. She would not have lights on or mirrors in the dressing room. It's sad because she had a beautiful body."

Well, I'm guessing living with her was a thrill a minute, and the sex, well, it is a wonder they ever had it because she probably wanted to keep her clothes on the entire time. Now, of course, to be fair, we have not heard from Ross, and he might have loved every second of the relationship. According to US, Ross, said they are working it out and both wearing their rings. I didn't know guys wore engagement rings, but maybe in Jennifer's world you do. Good luck, and congratulations to US for doing some real reporting and getting off your knees.

Lick Her? I Don't Even Know Her

First Australia let Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis exit their country and return to the United States without any kind of mystery disappearance and now the want their citizens to lick Nicole Kidman. I know, I know. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. It turns out that the Australian Government has decided to honor Nicole Kidman and three other Australian actors by giving them their very own stamps. Yes, beginning August 26th anyone who wants to lick Nicole Kidman can pay 55 Australian cents and lick her likeness and put it on an envelope.

When Nicole was informed of the honor she told the Sydney Morning Herald, “I have a vested interest in Australia. I want my children to live here at certain times of their life and see how wonderful it is. It would be lovely for them to lick a stamp, put it on an envelope and say ‘that’s my mum’.”

It will also be interesting to see which celebrity sells the best and which are just thrown in the trash where the little children can find it and say, "that's my mum."

The other actors being honored are Cate Blanchett (dibs on those), Russell Crowe and Geoffrey Rush. What would make this really interesting is if the Australian Post Office scented each stamp with how each of the actor's actually taste. No? OK. Do people even lick stamps anymore. I thought they all had that stuff that just made them stick without getting that nasty stamp taste in your mouth. It is hard to believe that the glue I find so nasty now was my favorite dessert when I was 3.

And They Said It Without Laughing

Do you remember Beanie Babies? I remember them. I have nightmares about them. Back in the day, my mother thought they were the cutest things ever and started collecting them. And then she decided she liked them a little bit more so collected some more. Started buying and selling them online. She started making my dad go on McDonald's runs across the city to get all the special edition ones. Most people mow the lawn and do other errands on the weekend. Not my dad. Nope. 10 hours a day of McDonald's duty. That was of course after he had spent three hours driving from swap meet to flea market to garage sales. Our house was a Beanie Baby. It was one big, fat, Beanie Baby.

At that time I was not forced to live in the basement, and actually had my own place. I'm glad, because at the time there was no room in the basement to walk or to move. Each baby was wrapped in some kind of indestructible plastic and had those little plastic tags over the Ty heart. Those dolls were given more love and attention and care than my mom gave me. I think that's why I drink. Anyway, one day I came by and they were gone. None in sight. Turns out they could see the bottom coming and cashed out. They bought a new minivan because the old one had been driven so much during the Beanie Baby patrols they had worn it out.

So, I bring all of this up because I thought the company was gone, but it turns out they are still very much alive and have decided to produce "Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia" dolls. Although the dolls share the names of the first daughters and bear a strong resemblance to the pair, the company says it is all just a big coincidence. Seriously, that is their story and they are sticking to it. They claim they came up with the names just because "they are beautiful names." Uh huh.

"There's nothing on the dolls that refers to the Obama girls. It would not be fair to say they are exact replications of these girls. They are not."

Uh huh.

If you like the dolls you better snap them up quickly because they will not be on the market long. Despite what Ty says, there is no way any court is going to buy the argument that Ty is not trying to make money off the image of the two girls. You can't do that. It would be the same thing if McDonald's started using photos of Taylor Momsen and said, "don't turn into this girl. Eat a burger." They would be making money off her image without paying her.

So, go snap them up wherever you can find them because they will certainly be changing the names and likenesses soon and so the originals will probably be worth some money. Just don't tell my mom. Please.

Don't You Just Love The Term No Contest?

When I saw that Hayden Pannetteire's father pleaded no contest to misdemeanor battery, I thought to myself well that is a nice slippery mess to this whole thing. You will recall that shortly after he was arrested, Hayden's dad Alan said that the whole thing was a misunderstanding and that nothing happened and the police just wanted 15 minutes of fame.

Uh huh. Now with this plea he can always say he was never found guilty of battery and if anyone calls him guilty of it they would be wrong. It's a lovely little plea, this no contest thing. He gets the same sentence as if he had been found guilty, but will force everyone who writes or talks about the case to use extra words and phrases other than the word guilty.

He will say something along the lines of he just wanted to put the whole mess behind him and that he didn't want to put his family through the pain of a trial just to prove his innocence. That he knows he was in the right and that is why he didn't plead guilty.

Whatever. Call it what you will, but everyone knows the truth. Now I am not going to say that I have never advised someone to do the same thing, because I have, but you always feel a little queasy doing it. OK, more than a little queasy. It isn't a victory or vindication, it is just about saving face and trying to muster some kind of plausible denial. Even though he made the statements he did after he was arrested I would have had far more respect for him if he had just pleaded guilty instead of trying to hide behind a technicality. No matter what though, his wife and family know what happened.

Alan was sentenced to two years probation, 52 weeks of domestic violence counseling and pay $400 in fines.

Ted C Blind Item

Prius Crotch-Catch is so famous, so gorgeous, so down with everything cool in T-town: from always dating the hippest dude, to starring in the latest hit. She’s also politically aware! And she’s so full of enviable girl power, so pure! Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around! Everyone loves and wants to be Prius! Oh, and even though PC-C’s fallen in love from time to time, lately, she’s been on her own—but now appears to be settling sweetly down again. Everyone’s breathing a sigh of belated relief. So fab that Prius has met her latest BF, a fine and steady dude who knows nothing of his girl’s immediate and shocking past, which includes:

Many, many cocaine-powered nights of hot, endless and very loud sex that white chick Prius just stopped having with Wally Wallup, an African-American dude who’s as studly as he is rich and infamous. No one knew Prius and Wally were dating—and they liked it that way, too, as they were wholly hooking up just for the wild nooky. Jeez, thought it was just the gays who went for the meaningless, sweaty hot sex, but what the ef do I know? Just that the hipster hotel where Wallup and Crotch-Catch always did it became even more infamous than it already is when the gorgeous twosome’s screams, snorts and clandestine meetings became so...well, vocal. Indeed, Mr. Wallup had to start posting his bodyguards outside their suite doors just to keep folks from breaking in and calling 911, or joining in, take your pick.

Doesn’t matter anymore, as Prius C-C only has eyes for her just-snagged, far-less-athletic nooky partner. Won’t last. Uh-uh, no friggin’ wild-sex-starved way. Mark my snoopy (and wise) words.

And It Aint: Rachel McAdams, Scarlett Johansson, Hayden Panettiere

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Today's Blind Items

I think this this newly engaged NFL player would be surprised to learn that his future wife has been spending a great deal of time talking and texting her old boyfriend every chance she gets and even making plans to meet while she is alone and out of town. Of course it probably serves our NFL player right.

Random Photos Part One

Ani Difranco - Perth
Not really random since they are in a movie together, but still an interesting combination of Anthony Edwards, Uma Thurman and Minnie Driver.
Angie Everhart at a charity golf tournament in the Bahamas.
Just because it has been awhile and it is always good to see America Ferrera.
This isn't the photo I had meant to post of Michael Jordan and Chris Tucker. I had meant to show a photo of Chris Tucker wearing some ridiculous looking jeans.
Fobia - Mexico City
I can see why Halle Berry made it almost the top of the most desirable list. She looks incredible.
The one and only Hugh Laurie celebrating the 100th episode of House.
Considering that Miley Cyrus is underage I guess we know why Justin Gaston has one arm really in shape.
I think Jesse Spencer has been in the photos before but at this point I can't remember.
I know it has been a long time since Keira Knightley has been in them,.
Kevin Spacey and Saffron Burrows.
Lily Allen in a photo shoot for Interview Magazine.
This is LaToya Jackson after being evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother House.
Meanwhile, inside, people find alternatives to kissing Verne Troyer.
I love Meryl Streep, but let's hope she didn't actually break into song. Congratulations on her 3,546 Oscar nomination.
Omar Epps makes a first time appearance in the photos.
Olivia Wilde is a fixture in the photos and it has nothing to do with the fact that I want her to come to the basement sometime. OK, well maybe a little.
I must be in a good mood because even Patrick Dempsey looks good here.
I believe the name of the movie is The Big Stan. Sounds much cooler though as El Gran Stan.
Sandra OH was given some kind of acting award from the Canadian government. Pamela Anderson was a disappointing 2nd.
Why the hell not. It seems like the site has had nothing but Twilight posts today anyway, so here is Taylor Lautner.
The Waifs - Perth


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