Friday, November 16, 2007

Random Photos Part One

I know most of you don't really like Kat von D, but for some reason I think she is pretty hot.
The always lovely Jill-Michele Melean who should have known to invite me to this party because there is nothing I enjoy doing more on Thursday nights than torturing a Hilton sister.
I am going to have to find someone to be snarky about, but Hayden Panettiere looks as good as she has looked in a long time.
I never thought I would be snarky about Heidi Klum, but for once she just doesn't look that great. It could be the lighting, or the fact that I can see her back wrinkles or the line across her back, but for once, Heidi Klum does absolutely nothing for me. Now, I don't want you to think that I wouldn't be all over her if I saw her like this, I'm just saying for purposes of this 2 dimensional blog, she looks like crap for once.
I don't know if Dita von Teese and Eve planned on matching the wall hanging, but it worked out really well.
Damn, I am having to be nice to Zac Efron today also. Look at those middle schoolers. That is pure joy people, and he was there for a good cause. Where is a Hilton or Denise Richards when you need them? Hell, I'll settle for Eva Longoria and her B list actress self.
Victoria Beckham is like the kid at the school play who just stands there and doesn't really have any idea what to do.
I have come to the conclusion that Rumer Willis is like a 1940's movie star in her looks. That sometimes manly sometimes amazing look depending on clothes and lighting. This even looks like a 40's bathing suit. I know it is a dress, but if you use your imagination, then you can see it.
On the one hand Ryan Seacrest mentioned the site on the air a couple of weeks ago and he did get in that staged fight for me with the Australian Idol boys. On the other hand, you have a guy with lots of rumors about him at a the Victoria's Secret show, so part of me wants to know if he is there looking for something to buy Oscar De la Hoya or if he wants something for himself, or if he really does like staring at hot women in lingerie.
Wow. Awful, just awful. This would have been the better twin to bring to show and tell.

You Knew It Was Going To Be Like This

Does everyone remember Kyla Ebbert? No? Didn't think so. But, I bet everyone remembers the woman who was kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight last July for wearing revealing clothing. Well, after making Southwest apologize and look bad for their behavior, Kyla did what every woman who loves exhibitionism does. That's right, Kyla, the former Hooters waitress, who wants to be a lawyer, posed for Playboy. I guess she wasn't hot enough for the actual magazine though so they just threw her up on their website.

Kyla says she got paid less than six figures for her pictorial. What that means is that she got about $1000 and got to see the Mansion. The photo at the top of the post is what she was wearing when she got kicked off the plane. The photo at the bottom of the post is the most she wears in her Playboy shoot. To see the rest of the very NSFW photos click here.

Four For Friday

A 15 minute court appearance turned into three hours, so am a little behind. Will do FFF right now and post everything else throughout the afternoon. Next week will be a very big week. More from WD as well as two long blind items to get you through Thanksgiving Day.

Hints-There is almost no chance that any blind item will be about a current member of Heroes, Lost or The Office.

#1 This female solo singer and member of a group overdosed on heroin on a recent flight. The rest of the group walked her up and down the aisle of the plane until the plane landed. At that point, they walked her around and around the plane until a doctor could arrive. They still managed to perform that same night.

#2 Haven't heard from our accountant in awhile, but he said this A list film actress received a wire transfer of $1M from the actor she is "dating."

#3 This former B list television actress in the middle of a divorce to a rocker missed a custody hearing recently because she was getting paid $50,000 for a week of travel with a gentleman.

#4 This solo male Top 40 singer has an actress girlfriend. Well he likes the world to think they are boyfriend/girlfriend. Actually she only has girlfriends. Seems the lover of our actress got pissed at the "boyfriend" three weeks ago necessitating a quick trip to the dentist for the boyfriend. Seems the lover knocked out one of our singer's teeth when they had a disagreement. Turns out the singer cries like a baby.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which tall comedian is pursuing a married woman? This ladies' man is totally besotted with the hot blonde - but then so is her hubby...

SNL And 30 Rock Putting On Live Shows

This promises to be a very cool weekend in NYC. The cast members of two New York-based TV shows that have been crippled by the writers strike, 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live, will deliver one-time-only live performances this weekend in Manhattan.

The sold-out shows will take place at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on West 26th Street, with proceeds going to a strike fund established by the Writers Guild.
Saturday Night Live will be performed at 11:30 p.m. Saturday, and 30 Rock at 8 p.m. Monday. Superbad and Arrested Development star Michael Cera will be the guest host of SNL, and the musical guest is alternative rock band Yo La Tengo.

SNL cast member Amy Poehler said in a statement late Thursday that the theater is a "second home" to many of the performers and writers.
"We are doing this to raise spirits, raise awareness and raise money for our hardworking production crews who will be having a hard holiday season if this strike continues," Poehler said.

From what I understand, this is going to involve every cast member from both shows, and also a great deal of interchange as well since the 30 Rock people primarily came from SNL.

So Friends With Benefits Then?

Lance Armstrong tried to put a stop to all those rumors about him dating Ashley Olsen. He told Page Six that "Ashley Olsen and I are strictly friends. We have hung out amongst other friends, and she strikes me as a nice, smart lady."

So, from this statement it appears that he doesn't think they are anything more than friends despite what Ashley might think. I notice that he doesn't say that they aren't having wild sex every night. She did show up for his daughter's show and tell. I think she thinks there is more to this relationship than just friends.

I love how Lance adds that they have hung out amongst friends. If he meant to say that they have only hung out with other friends present, he didn't do a very good job of it. He's trying to make people think that without lying.

I just hope you let Ashley down easy because, as you say, she is incredibly nice, and very smart and from what I hear doesn't give it up that often. She also has enough money to crush you like a bug. Anyone else flashback to Kids In The Hall there?

Worse Than Government Dinosaurs

Tom Cruise, the little general himself is about to sign on the dotted line to play, brace yourself, Hugh Hefner. That's right, the little dwarf who has to use every ounce of his acting skill to act natural around one woman is now going to portray the most heterosexual man the world has ever known.

A friend of Tom's is quoted as saying, "Tom knows of Hugh's colorful past and thinks he would be the perfect person to bring it to the big screen."He also thinks the role would be a challenge for him, and would remind people of his versatility as an actor. At the moment people are concentrating on his personal life, and his marriage to Katie - but he wants to remind them that he can act too."

The role would be a huge challenge for him. First of all he is going to have to actually touch women, and not just with gloves on. Second, he is going to have to kiss them, and finally, I am guessing there might be a nude scene or two. While the ladies in those scenes will no doubt be happy that Tom doesn't rise to the occasion during filming, it may also prove awkward for all of us forced to watch the film.

If Tom Cruise did pull this off, then he would deserve a big six foot Oscar. If he gets a step ladder he can even look at it eye to eye. My guess is that after lots of thoughtful consideration, he will announce that he had been offered the role, but that out of respect for his wife, he just can't do it because she would be too jealous. Uh huh.

Why don't you just have her play Barbi Benton, and then you can turn this into Eyes Wide Shut 2 and force her to get naked while you prance around in a smoking jacket. Maybe Leelee Sobieski could show up for a day or two of filming, because we know how much you love her. She's a little tough with you, but you love her.

Ted C Blind Item

Time for an update on the world’s not exactly best-kept secret, the actual identity of Toothy Tile, the (now infamous) closeted homo actor who used to want us to know he liked diddling boys in parking lots and everywhere else imaginable. Our inbox is a curious, overflowing influx of both salivating and outraged disenchantment. Why are we delaying things, they scream in cantankerous unison, as if Toothy’s consulting us personally, like we’re the Columbia School of Homo-Outing Journalism or something.

We’ll leave that to other institutions of righteous indignation. We here at Awful still say it’s ultimately up to the celeb—not us—to say she or he leans closer to Rosie or T.R. (Isaiah, we are not.) Oh! Oh! Oh! Our fave reader stab—which are all over the friggin’ map these days—at T.T.’s real name? Joel McHale! Come to think of it, J.M. does linger in wardrobe when I’m trying on the latest Ben Sherman...though, it ain’t him.

But listen, Tooth, if you’re reading, and we know you are, just wanna give ya a little fairly heated heads-up: Heaps (albeit small heaps, we’ll admit) o’ your pals are contacting us. They’re complaining not only about this damn about-face on your self-proclaimed mission to take a strong stand at letting the world know how down you are to be queer, but they’re more personally peeved, too. Remember all those canceled dinners and parties and such, the ones where your “people” (who would sell their first adopted Chinese kid for a made-up, ass-kissing item in People) said, "Better not be seen with these fagola guys"?

Well, the guys are getting more than put out over your arguably ill-advised, sudden distancing. In fact, it’s prolly safe to say your old gang’s more worked up than a dog-lovin’ bitch after Ellen DeGeneres’ ass, and that’s no joke. Watch it.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Rachael Ray In FHM - 2005

I thought everyone had already seen these. However, from the reactions today, some of you apparaently haven't. From 2005 here is Rachael Ray in FHM.

Today's Blind Items

#1 Despite the posturing, the marriage is over for this B list television actress on a hit dramedy and her sports playing husband.

#2 This gorgeous, award winning B list actress on a hit network drama and her affianced have called it quits.

#3 This lead singer of an aging hit rock band used to provide drugs for his celebrity daughter so she wouldn't have to get them from someone else.

Random Photos Part One

It has definitely been awhile since I have seen Colby Donaldson.
ADD huh?
Merry Christmas from one red nose to another.
If Alicia Keys keeps looking this good, I would want to watch her date herself also.
Always a big fan of the red carpet grope, Adrien Brody goes for it with Elsa Pataky.
My southern friends would say that Heather Graham looks like she just got wallered.
That is a good looking suit on Hayden Christensen.
Not so good looking is Edie Falco.
Is that a bra or part of the dress on Chloe Sevigny?
After the event, Claire Danes and the other wait staff cleared the dishes.
Rachel Bilson looks even more amazing here than when I knocked her over at a Borders two weeks ago. She was buying Restaurants For Dummies in case anyone is interested.
Doing the "Elaine" isn't the best look for Natalie Portman.
If that is the way Vanessa Lemon Jello blows, then Nick might want to consider someone else.
John Leguizamo looks good, but also looks he needs directions to the closest bathroom.
Jennie Garth is always amazing. Getting hammered in Vegas with your dance partner while the husband watches the kids is even better.

Rachael Ray Whines About Her Marriage

Using both her show and Kneepads Magazine, Rachael Ray started whining about how the tabloids are really beginning to upset her with their constant talk about her marriage and how it sucks big time. Considering she didn't mention bloggers, I am guessing the rest of us were right and that her marriage is crap. Now, she might be trying to salvage it for vanity or for money, or maybe even for love, but basically she just wants people to stop buying tabloids.

What I'm wondering is why she suddenly brought this up? Bloggers, tabs, everyone has been talking crap about her husband and her marriage for months and months. It's even been awhile since anyone really said anything about her kinky husband and his wandering eye.

I'm thinking that hubby did something really, really bad in the past week or so and that the tabloids must have called her publicist for a comment or reaction, or maybe someone is trying to sell some photos of her husband. You know what would be the greatest photo ever? Oprah, Dr. Phil and Rachael Ray's husband all getting it on. I know, I know. You are thinking that best photo ever would Oprah and Michael Jackson getting it on, but this is what this country is all about. Healthy debate. Well, fast food and healthy debate. OK, fast food, obesity and healthy debates. Actually, I guess we really don't like debating, we just like the fast food, obesity and naked photos of celebrities.

WGA Always Planned To Strike

The head of the entertainment industry's largest union threw the WGA leaders under a bus by accusing them of delaying negotiations to such a degree that the WGA made a strike inevitable. Thomas Short, president of the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees (IATSE), accused WGA West President Patric Verrone of deliberately delaying talks with the Association of Motion Picture and TV Producers (AMPTP) until the last moment.

"When I phoned you on Nov. 28, 2006, to ask you to reconsider the timing of negotiations, you refused," Short said in a letter to Verrone. "It now seems that you were intending that there be a strike no matter what you were offered, or what conditions the industry faced when your contract expired at the end of October." The result, he said, has been the loss of jobs for thousands of members of IATSE and other unions. "

The IATSE alone has over 50,000 members working in motion picture, television, and broadcasting and tens of thousands more are losing jobs in related fields."

Short concluded that it was "time to put egos aside" and return to the negotiating table and predicted "irreversible damage" to the industry if negotiations do not resume. Verrone issued a brief letter in response cryptically noting that IATSE members receive five times more in contributions to their health fund from the studios than do writers, and then added, "To put it simply, our fight should be your fight."

He then insisted that the WGA is "willing to negotiate" and that it was the AMPTP that walked out of the negotiations. "So please help us by doing everything you can to get the AMPTP to come back to the table and settle this strike." However, later yesterday, Verrone backtracked on his earlier statements and said the WGA would only return to the table
"as soon as the companies make it clear that they are willing to respond to the issues that are important to the association, leading with new media."

Hayden Is On The Run From The Law

An arrest warrant was issued in Japan for Hayden Panettiere for her recent confrontation with fishermen during a dolphin hunt.

Hayden said the warrant does not faze her and that she would do it again. Obviously she won't plan on visiting Japan until this settles down, but she seems to think nothing will happen to her because Japan won't try and have her extradited. Well, a US citizen cannot be extradited from the US to face charges in another country, but that doesn't stop Japan from providing the warrant to Interpol and getting Hayden as she attempts to enter into another country who would have no qualms about extraditing her to Japan.

Now, I can't honestly see Japan sending it to Interpol because nothing really happened except she made Japan look bad in the eyes of the world.

Hayden commented to E! News that she would do it again if given the chance. "I was very excited that people were interested in what we did," she said. "In [Hollywood], you tend to only get publicity for not wearing underwear or going to rehab." Nicely said, and I am sure the world would love either of those from you. That being said there might be just a touch of hypocrisy with what she is saying. One of the reasons I think her efforts were so well documented was that she was wearing a bikini during the protest, and thus ensured that websites around the world picked up the news. Although she wore a wetsuit when confronting the fishermen, she immediately stripped it off when she got on shore and posed in her bikini with other similarly attired women. The above photo is before she took off the lower half of the wet suit, but as you know this is a family site and so I like to keep it fucking clean.

Emily Blunt--In Style UK

Valkyrie Trailer

I know this trailer came out last week, but last night was the first time I got to see it. You know Tom Cruise is trying to be serious when he whispers through the whole movie. He really only has one character that he plays. There is nothing wrong with that as Adam Sandler or Vince Vaughn can tell you. However, the difference is they know they are only playing one character and go with it. Tom Cruise actually believes he is a good actor. He used to be a good actor. Now he is almost a caricature of himself each time. Most people think this movie is going to do awful. I actually think that if you had put someone else into the Tom Cruise role it would do pretty well. The last thing I actually liked Tom Cruise in was his cameo in Austin Powers. Maybe if Valkyrie does really bad he will sign on to do Stroker Ace 2 with Burt Reynolds.

A Baby Shower Like No Other

At first glance, the fact that Paris Hilton is throwing a baby shower for her good friend Nicole Richie seems like something a great friend would do. According to In Touch, this Sunday, Paris and her mom will be having a little shindig for Nicole with Samantha Ronson providing the entertainment as DJ. Photos of Lindsay Lohan staring through the window at the party guests and fawning over Samantha will only cost you $25 and can be ordered in advance. If you order two or more, Paris will throw in a free Riley Giles blow up doll which stands exactly five feet behind Lindsay at all times.

From what I understand most pregnant women should not eat raw fish, so Paris of course is having sushi as the highlight of the menu. When asked about this, someone muttered "mercury shmercury," and another said," isn't that a planet?"

Meanwhile, Paris couldn't find a party planner who specialized in baby showers so hired a wedding planner instead, saying "they both involve two people and cause a certain amount of pain, so what does it really matter? It's all about the presents anyway, and the drinking." When told that perhaps Nicole shouldn't be drinking since she was pregnant, someone said, "we have a sink and a glass, so that's covered."

As far as presents go, since this was more of a last minute thing, Paris has agreed that people only need to give presents to her on a one to one basis with those they are giving Nicole. Further, if they haven't had time to get Nicole anything, they can just make out a check to Paris who will collect them all, and then head over to Chinatown where she saw some really good deals.

Should be a hell of a baby shower.

Ms. Bright Isn't A Tramp

When I first wrote about Eminem and Marni Bright and called them a couple and talked about how Marni was a dead ringer for Kim Mathers, I got lots of hate mail. Not the volume of hate mail like when I say something bad about Clay Aiken or any of the other Idols, but close. Most of them questioned my sanity and said Eminem and Marni were just friends. Eminem's people also said the same thing. Here is an example of the type of e-mail I got. If you have kids, and they can read, you may want to cover their eyes. If you have Jessica Simpson in your house you may want to help her sound out the larger words. Actually if you have Jessica Simpson in your house, why the hell are you reading this? Take some pics, call the Enquirer and take a vacation.

Hey Asshole, why dont you get your facts straight fuck face, the two are friends not dating, the guy she was with for four years, was cheating on her all the time, so he can go fuck off too. Ms. Bright doesnt look anything like that tramp Kim Mathers, she's a respectable woman who works hard at what she does, do me a favor and keep her name out of your filthy mouth! Sincerly her friend

I love how Marni is his friend but he refers to her as Ms. Bright. I'm guessing he works for her, has a crush on her, and knows that Eminem is ruining any chance he has to get with her.

In the current issue of Life&Style, Eminem's mom, Debbie Nelson confirmed that Eminem is in a relationship with Marni, and had these choice things to say about it. "Marshall needs someone who loves him for himself and not just for the fame and money."

Nelson admitted that she was still worried that Bright's relationship with her son may go the same way as his ex-wife Kim's.

She added: "As long as Marni doesn't turn out to be anything like Kim - who caused him nothing but heartache - I'm all for her. All I want is for him to be happy."

DNfromMN -- Movie Review -- Southland Tales

Southland Tales

Donnie Darko was one of my favorite movies of 2001, and in Minneapolis, it ran at a theater no one knew was still open, and only for a week. I'd heard about it online months prior, so had kept my eyes open for it. I left the movie not understanding everything, but definitely mentally stimulated and talking with the friend I dragged with me trying to resolve the mystery. The Director's Cut DVD cleared things up dramatically with the chapter preview text from the time travel book by 'grandma death'. So needless to say, I have been waiting for Richard Kelly's follow-up for 6 years and high expectations. I love The Rock, I
loved Sarah Michelle Gellar on Buffy, I gotta give it up to the hometown boy Seann William Scott, and I love Sci-Fi.

When a friend said they'd gotten passes to this, my response was:

I now wish I'd had lower expectations. There are a lot of things to love about this movie: there are moments that are funny, there are some fantastic ideas, and Seann William Scott was awesome. There are a lot of things you'll hate about this movie, and the #1 thing you will hate is Justin Timberlake's kentucky-fried voiceover.

Plot outline:

Setting - The world's been out of oil for a few years, we're still entrenched with war in the middle east, Republicans are still in power and have control of the internet and are spying on average joes. A German physicist has come up with a way to use the waves crashing into the California shoreline to convert it to energy that can be sent wirelessly to where it's needed.

Characters - Schwarzenegger-type actor/politico (Rock) wakes up in the desert with a blank memory, shacks up with a porn star (Gellar) and they write a futuristic screenplay together.

Porn star is working with the anti-establishment liberal nutjobs (led by Nora Dunn) and planning to blackmail the actor's wealthy political family. Part of that plan involves a man (Scott) impersonating his cop twin brother and faking a murder w/ actor present. Timberlake is our narrator who has unnamed ties to many of the above and tells us everything I've stated above in the first 10 minutes of the movie.

So I can buy this at this point, I'm feeling it. And then it happens. Seann Scott is playing this as a serious role, not the goofy Stifler from American Pie that we know to expect from him. Timberlake the same. Everyone else: you see the wink in their actions, it's over-the-top, campy, silly, unbelievable. Houston, we have a problem.

Donnie Darko straddled this pretty easily most of the movie was straight, with little bits of humor ("I'm questioning your commitment to Sparklemotion"), this is the opposite tone, and I just couldn't get into it. Maybe if you know it ahead of time, it's campy fun with some moments of thought you might enjoy it more, but it comes across as a really expensive student film. Now, I was hoping after this movie got booed at Cannes, and he's had like 5 months to re-edit the thing he'd be able to salvage something. It wasn't salvageable.

The movie is still worth $6.00 to me (matinee price). The people I went with, said they were only mildly entertained. I'd say it's worth seeing to see that Seann William Scott can act as more than a buffoon. There are some cool effects, and some really fascinating images, but I wouldn't go out of my way to see this again.

Amy Winehouse's Hair Checked By Prison Guards

Guards at Pentonville prison stated that Amy Winehouse was acting suspicious when she showed up for a recent visit to see her husband who is a guest of the institution. The warden of the prison personally was there when Amy arrived and asked her to run her fingers through her hair to prove she didn't have any drugs within her beehive.

Amy did so, and although no drugs were found, a sandwich and small child were discovered. Seriously, that thing is big. I can't understand why they thought she was acting suspicious. She has been on a 96 hour speed and crack binge all supplied by her "good friend" Pete Doherty. After dropping off some drugs to keep Amy going for another few days, Pete also dropped by Pentonville prison where he brought Blake some clothes and trilby hats.

Wonder if the warden checked the lining on those hats. There hasn't been any mention of Blake going through severe withdrawals so he must be getting something from someone.

According to a "friend" who has supplied drugs to all three people, he calculates that between the trio they spend between $3000-4000 a day on drugs. The above picture was taken last night where over half the crowd walked out on Amy's show, while the rest stayed and booed her.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which footballer is on the verge of being dumped by his girlfriend?

The fella in question has been accused of cheating one to many times and is pretty blue about it. . .

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Today's Blind Items

Hangovers are bad. Four day hangovers are horrible. When you drink and drink and drink, you tend to fall down, run into things, get run over by people, and just generally abuse your body. I feel like I exercised. It has been so long since I had that sensation, I don't know if it is exactly that, but I do know I am incredibly sore, and the heaviest thing I lifted was a liter bottle of vodka. One of the great things about roadies is that if you come up with an idea, they will make it happen. Everyone got in an argument about which vodka was best and if you could tell the difference between plastic bottles at $5 and good stuff at $100 a bottle. A roadie was dispatched, and after the show that night, 45 different bottles of vodka were sampled. At first there was some pretense at spitting it out in between tastes, but that grew old and so the 45 bottle taste test just evolved into pass each bottle around the circle until it was gone. The taste test went to crap, but there is something impressive about 45 empty bottles being lined up in one big bowling alley configuration.

Fruit bowling is the name they gave to this type of bowling. The first round everyone used a lime to attempt to knock down bottles and to break them. This progressed through the apple and orange family all the way to watermelons with points being accumulated on the way. This is not be confused with intern bowling in which they take guys working for free, put a helmet on them and then tie them to a skateboard and use them as a human bowling ball.

Anyway, another item from the road. This solo male Top 40/hip hop/ #1 songs/ singer was filming as video last year and came up with a unique casting format. The video was about 3 minutes long and the singer broke it up into 12, 15 second segments. Each aspiring actress was asked how many segments she wanted to be in. All of them invariably said 12. They were told it would not be a problem as long as they had sex with 12 guys. Each segment meant one guy to f**k. All of them except for one balked at doing all 12 guys. She is in the entire video. Although there were no other takers for all 12, when you see the video and use a stopwatch, you can see how many guys they did do. Every woman in the video did at least one guy with most doing two or three. Our singer was #12 for the woman who made it that far. She was the only one he was with.

Random Photos Part One -- Sexiest Man Alive Edition

Adrian Grenier
Johnny Depp
The wonderful Jorge Camara who is doing a masterful job as the current President of The Hollywood Foreign Press Association.
Hugh Jackman on a beach. That kind of sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. Hugh Jackman on a beach, Hugh Jackman runs on sand.
Dave Annable
Remember how everyone keeps saying that Christina Aguilera needs to take off all the Kaubki makeup? I was wrong.
Shemar Moore
Wow. I am really in a Catch 22 here. I want those press credentials, but the snark in me wants to say something about Rumer Willis and what she chose to wear at the announcement of her selection as Miss Golden Globes. I think she is trying to appeal to the four Amish people in the world who have televisions.
Ryan Reynolds
On the back it says I Love Making Porn, Valtrex, and Dogs You Never See More Than Once.
What is a Hayden Panettiere appearance without Mario Lopez? Maybe it was just a coincidence that he showed up at EA's launch party of NEED FOR SPEED PROSTREET.


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