Friday, December 26, 2008

Today's Blind Item

So, I changed my mind about a blind item. This celebutard has a world of positive publicity right now from every corner of the earth. Know the quickest way to lose it? By dating a married woman. Sure, the woman is a B- film actress but her ticket to A list will die quickly if this scandal hits. Do you know who she is? Maybe. But she has been, and is going to be in some of the biggest movies of the year. You would definitely recognize her face. Our celebutard has serious A+ name recognition right now. Oh, and she is considered a newlywed by any definition which makes this extra juicy, extra scandalous, and extra career threatening.

Four For Friday

There is not going to be a Four For Friday today. I know, I know. Put down the hankies. But, on the good news front, it is only six more days until the day.

Random Photos Part One - With Reader Photos

Eartha Kitt - RIP

John Costelloe - RIP
Unlike some former child actors, Alyssa Milano only passes out food for charity and not as their career.
Bono and his wife at U2's Christmas party. I'm sure the entire evening was devoted to Bono telling the assembled how he should just be sainted right now. At the party was Chris Martin who was without his wife. Where was she?
Ms. Paltrow was at Madonna's Christmas party.
Judging from the look on Cruz Beckham's face he would rather have gone to McDonalds instead of Gordon Ramsay's for dinner.
Just like to throw in a random UK star now and again. Here is Delta Goodrem.
Wow. You know I love Gwen Stefani, but I now know what she is going to look like when she is 80.
Jennifer Lopez was wearing the ring, but all alone doing her shopping. I have not seen her out with her kids in awhile either.
Speaking of kids, what in the name of Santa Claus is Mel B's oldest daughter wearing? And on a side note of snark, how much do you want to bet that Michael Belafonte "borrowed" some money from Mel to get whatever he is eating.
Melissa Joan Hart also serving food, but apparently taking a break while all the homeless wait in line wondering why everyone is taking photos.
Melissa Gilbert looks great. Hell, so does Bruce Boxleitner.
"One more crack about the beard, and I'm going to reinstate debtor's prison."
"Did you happen to see your brother's beard. Why I haven't laughed that hard since his dad had one."

Reader Photo #1
And Reader Photo #2. Are those for me?
If Zara Phillips spins fast enough she can actually get off the ground a little.

Your Turn

Simple and to the point. Worst gift you ever got. I will also accept gift you always wanted but never got, or the worst gift you ever bought someone. Doesn't have to be Christmas. It could be something like your significant other gave you a set of free glasses he got from a free fill up on the way home on your anniversary night.

Strangest Gossip Ever

This has got to be some of the strangest gossip of all time. In the new book Marlon And Me, Marlon Brando's former assistant says that Marlon was so desperate for money in the last year of his life that he met with the shopping channel QVC about selling some kind of product on their network. He really didn't care what the product was, he just wanted to sell something and make some money. OK. So far just slightly wacky. It gets better. What he wanted to sell was either earthquake proof houses which no doubt would have been a huge hit on the channel. "Hey, guess what we have on easy pay today."

His other choices were imported silk or a DVD on acting called Lying For A Living. OK, I could see him selling the last two, so that would not be that wacky, until you consider this kicker.

He was not actually going to sell them as Marlon Brando. Nope. When he had a meeting with the QVC people he told them he wanted to go on air disguised in women's clothing with a grey wig. I don't know if the story is real, but it sure as hell makes you smile thinking about it.

Quick Hits

Tom And Gisele - "Oh Gisele. You got engaged, I'm so happy for you. Where did it happen? How did it happen?" I'll tell you where it happened. Gisele and Tom got engaged on a 25 minute flight from New Jersey to Boston. The flight probably cost more than the ring, and there probably was not enough time for a quickie. Whoops scratch that. Two minutes would be all Tom needed. I'm happy for them, but seriously, I don't care if it is a private jet, that just seems like the most awful way to propose. It's such a short flight they probably didn't even have a chance to get unbuckled. He probably had to yell over the sound of the engines and tossed the ring to her in the air. Well at least we know he can pass.

Come On Get Happy - Shirley Jones' husband was allegedly caught shoplifting hats at a hat store. Yeah, I know there is a fancier name, but give me a break. You know what I mean. I watched the video on TMZ, and I still can't see straight. But, I have been humming Partridge Family tunes all morning so it is probably worth it. Except for the fact that now I can't get Danny Bonaduce and his FFF out of my head. See, that could be worse than the Verne Troyer photo. That image burns as well.

One Final Argument - Kate Walsh and her soon to be ex are arguing over their actual separation date. He says it was five days later than the date she says. Why does it matter? In this case, I can't tell. Usually it matters because you don't get half anymore after that date. If she wants earlier than it's possible she signed some endorsement contract or got some payment that week and so she wants an earlier date so she doesn't have to pay out. Personally I just think they hate each other and will do anything to piss each other off.

Damn You Michael Cera

You might recall that I posted about a month ago about how Michael Cera didn't want anything to do with an Arrested Development movie. My guess it is about money and getting himself a bigger part in it. His camp says that he just felt the show said it all and nothing else needs to be said.

Well the news is that somehow Michael Cera is actually holding up the production of the film. According to a Fancast interview with Arrested creator Mitch Hurwitz, at one point Will Arnett and Michael Cera were holding up production. Will was more of a money thing and has been "gung ho" about the project since day one. But, Hurwitz said that Michael Cera is causing the whole thing to be halted. My question is how? Write him out. Who the hell needs him for the film? I don't know if he is being wishy washy and so they don't know to write him in or out, or if the producers are so desperate to tap into the Superbad crowd that they will give in to his demands.

Honestly, you don't need him. His movies have not done well. He is completely one dimensional and I think the world will be fine if he does not have sex with his cousin on the big screen. Kick him to the curb. Do like the Vacation movies. They did just fine with a different Rusty and Audrey everytime. They were filler and that is what Michael Cera is as well.

We'll Look Like We Didn't Care About The Money

I'm guessing Joe Simpson lost this round, but by God, when Jessica Simpson has a kid he is going to sell photos, video, and if the price is right, have pay per view right in the delivery room. You do realize that is where the whole photo thing is headed right? I think everyone is a little tired of seeing photoshopped parents holding their photoshopped kids in the same damn poses every single time.

How much money would you pay to be live in the hospital room with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt as Angelina gave birth? You would not be treated to any NSFW shots, and perhaps not even sound. But how about five or six cameras in the room and you can watch all of them live. Do you know how much people would pay for that? Hell, I might even pay for that. I know it would make a lot more money than selling them to People Magazine. Think of the amount that would go to charity. Of course that would evolve into the actual birth being shown and that would evolve into watching the actual conception which would evolve into which lucky person gets to do it with the celebrity and make them pregnant.

Who Wants To Be A Celebrity Daddy? Great title for a show.

The point of all of this is that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz just went ahead and posted a photo of Manhattan Jungle Book for free. Apparently the money offers were not high enough so they just decided to look like do gooders.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which celebrity is torn between her long-term lover and the British gangster actor she's having a hot fling with?

More Boredom Equals Kim Kardashian

When I got done terrorizing myself reading the Lindsay Lohan blog, I decided to become really masochistic and head on over to Kim Kardashian's blog. I mean why the hell not. I was sure it would be filled to the brim with all of her kool aid drinking fans wishing her a happy holidays and probably telling Kim that her Bentley was so much nicer than Paris' Bentley and probably empathizing with her over the fact that Reggie Bush is still no closer to giving her a ring than a year ago. On the subject of that. Umm, Kim. Everytime you get in front of a camera or a guy with a notebook you make sure they know that all Reggie has to do is ask and you will say yes. Without fail, this comes out of your mouth. By now I think Reggie has got the hint. I also know that at the rate he keeps getting injured and the way he is blowing through his money, you may get what you wished for but he might end up marrying you for your money instead of the other way around.

Now, when I went over to her site, instead of the fawning fans, I found a deeply disturbed Kim who said that Courtney Love had defamed her brother and maybe Brody Jenner. Apparently Courtney said that Robert Kardashian broke the nose of Courtney's employee at an altercation at Hyde. I didn't actually realize people still went to Hyde, but hey, it's the holiday's everyone should give to those in need.

Kim says that it is not what happened. She declines to say what actually did happen and instead is going to forward the entire thing to her attorneys. While I do think Courtney is often times out of her mind, it will be interesting to see if the truth matches what Robert told his family. If not, will Kim come back and apologize to Courtney? Probably not. I have a feeling the whole post will just silently vanish much like Kim's career.

I Hate Being Bored

There comes a time on every Christmas Day where you just get bored out of your mind. I think much of that has to do with the fact that with the exception of dinner, the day actually tends to end fairly early. You are left with large gaps of nothing to do but wonder how much one can drink in a day if you started with mimosas at 7am, bloody mary's by 9am and egg nog by noon.

I believe this boredom is why so many movies actually open on Christmas Day and why it is the busiest day of the year for Blockbuster. It could also be the fact that you are so tired of being with your family for three or four days, that everyone needs that two hour respite that a movie offers.

I found myself in such a period yesterday and with not much news to read, I found myself reading Lindsay Lohan's post on her blog more than once. In fact I read it several times. It was slow and it was just so strange.

It was basically a rambler. I think she probably wanted to leave come sweet holiday message but she basically decided to throw her dad under the bus for cheating on her mom while they were married. I believe cheating is pretty awful, but I would be shocked beyond belief if Lindsay had never cheated on a boyfriend. So, I'm not so sure she should be throwing those rocks. She also said that her dad confessed that there is a half sister. Michael still says no. I don't really care about that either.

What is interesting and what made me read it repeatedly is that Ali Lohan has suddenly become Aliana. When did this start? Is this some edict from Mt. St. Dina in an attempt to make Ali sound classier or because she wants to try the whole one name singer thing? I suffered through that Lohan reality show and no one on there ever called Ali anything other than Ali. I swear to you if they try and sell her album with the name Aliana and nothing else, I will go on a Lohan rant fest that will last for weeks.

P.S. Lindsay wants to sleep with Britney, or Samantha does or whoever wrote the blog post.

Ted C. Blind Item

Hot couples earnestly trying to procreate in Hollywood usually get such great, fawning press, just ask Marcia Cross and her man, or Josh Holloway and his gal, if you don't believe. But, what about when it all goes...wrong?

That's the certainly less celebrated coverage you hear about, and for good reason: Smokey Shooter and Mimi Kitten are one smokin' celeb couple—literally. And even though the multitalented lovebirds have a bunch of differences between them (namely, their ages), there's one thing they can settle on: They want a kid. Badly.

But there are two problemos in this offspring sitch:

First up, Mimi's had some issues with her ovaries—they ain't working. So M.K. and Smokey hightailed over to their friendly neighborhood fertility clinic to work it all out with a bit of help from their doc.

A baby would be a better possibility if it wasn't for the second dilemma—Smokey's dabbling in drugs has gone from a weekend hobby to a nearly full-time day gig, and it's messing with the dude's sperm. Too bad, 'cause a baby between these two could give Suri and Shiloh a run for their parents' money.

Get clean, you dopehead! Your woman's got enough probs as it is!

And It Ain't:

Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer
Katie Lee Joel and Billy Joel

Thursday, December 25, 2008

***Exclusive*** Balthazar Getty Fired From Brothers And Sisters

Wow. Let's see. It is almost 1am here on the west coast Christmas morning. Just got done seeing Jennifer Aniston and the Arquettes chowing down at Mastro's. Poor Alyson Hannigan was also there but no one even noticed her except for me. I have always had a thing for Alyson and keep hoping she will leave her husband and run away to my basement with me. A man can dream can't he? Without dreams then we are just kind of stuck in whatever rut we fall into. Oh, and I am drunk in case you have not noticed.

But, I am not too drunk to know what I heard around town when I was sober and that is that Balthazar Getty has been fired from Brothers And Sisters. I don't know the reason. I don't know if it is because of Sienna or because he was sleeping with someone else on the show or if he just wandered the set looking for twinkies all day and not working. All I do know is his publicist says Balthazar has not been fired, and I of course say his happy ass was canned just in time for the holidays. Balthazar was let go. Dismissed. Given a pink slip. Shown the door. Do you know how hard it is to get fired from a job like this. He must have done something completely f**ked up like snorting mercury or something with Piven in the back room while they looked at porn videos of the daughter of the producers.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays everyone. I love having all of you in my life. I hope that wherever you are this week, that you are safe, warm, and filled with the spirit of family and friends. I will see you on Friday.

Today's Blind Items

This B list actor and sometime director, now married was once in a highly publicized relationship. While on location in another country the actor found himself in the VIP room of a member’s only gentleman’s club. Rumors swirled about what happened that night and ended up costing his relationship, but the popular guess was second or third base, at best. What really happened was captured on tape by a security camera of the actor, two ladies, and a lot of um let’s say marital aids of all varieties.

When one of the ladies let it ‘slip’ after the encounter that it was all recorded on security camera the actor demanded the tape from the club owner. After several phone calls and exchanges of all sorts the actor left with tape in hand.

But what the actor didn’t know was that the club had made several copies before the actor even knew it existed and he was just one of several actors caught in the same scam at the exclusive anything goes club. The whereabouts of the other tapes are unknown but I’m sure wherever they are, they came at a high price.

Random Photos Part One - With Reader Photos

I can't believe this. The day after I give the award to Tracy Morgan for shiniest jacket of the year, Ashlee Simpson does this to me. Does she know how difficult it will be to pry the award from Tracy's hands? Damn you Ashlee Simpson.

Yeah. Like the world needed more Clay Aiken.
Does anyone know who the woman with Christina Ricci is? All I know is they have synchronization skills like my favorite Spanish royals.
Well it is the holidays, so I am going to be nice to Denise Richards. Merry Christmas Denise. Oh, and to you too Irv.
Lil Wayne - Oakland
The thing is that they think they look good.
The Griffith family. That is one house I would love to go to for Christmas dinner. That or the O'Neals. Hell put them together and invite me and I would die a happy man.
Another Christmas miracle. Mickey Rourke is actually dressed normally.
Is that wrapping paper or are you just happy to see me?
Who thinks those are real presents under the tree?
Rachel Bilson is on the right and her little sister is in the middle. I have no idea who the woman is on the left.
I almost didn't recognize Robert Downey Jr when I first saw this photo.
Reader Photo #1
And Reader Photo #2
Rob Thomas & John Mayer - New York
This is how you know you are horribly addicted to cigarettes.
A snow leopard at the Bronx Zoo.
A Stephanie Seymour at the Caribbean.
You know what is priceless about this picture? Both of the bags came from the same store. I guarantee you that Will did all of his shopping at one place.

My Favorite Christmas Movies

These are the Christmas movies I tend to watch on a fairly regular basis. Many of them I watch even when it is not Christmas. I don't have them in any particular order. The reason for this is because determining which one is my favorite kind of depends on my mood at the time.

The original Scrooge. Classic and timeless and really hard to find on a channel unless you have it on DVD.

Scrooged is probably my favorite remake of all the Scrooge remakes. Carol Kane is hilarious and Bill Murray can definitely play an ass. Buster Poindexter also makes it really worthwhile.
Wonderful Life. Growing up this seemed like the only Christmas movie that was ever on. I still like it a lot but it is not something I watch every year. I usually need to give it a year off.
If I were to pick a favorite Christmas movie. If someone said you have to pick one. I couldn't. I have a tie among three, but The Ref is in those three. Incredible movie.
Santa Clause is about one of the only things I can bear to watch with Tim Allen. It is a good movie but is the kind you usually watch while wrapping presents and it doesn't matter if you miss five or ten minutes here and there.
You won't believe this. But this was the first year I watched Nightmare Before Christmas and I really liked it. Not in the top three but much better than I thought it would be.
I threw Love Actually in here to make a point about Christmas movies. Love Actually takes place around the holidays, but that does not really mean you should call every movie that does, a Christmas movie. Die Hard is a great movie, but I'm not sure you would consider it a Christmas movie. Same with Batman Returns or whatever the hell that movie is with Katie Holmes.
Barely out of my top 3 is Joyeux Noel which is the true story of a truce during World War I. If you have never seen this movie, you need to.
Home Alone is a classic and I never get tired of watching it.
I like Elf a lot. Not in love with it. Although if The Zooey showed up at my basement in her elf outfit I could be persuaded to change my mind.
Christmas Vacation is definitely in my top 3. Love this movie.
I used to love Christmas Story. Loved it. Then TNT or one of the cable channels started showing it for 24 hours straight and now they have Wonderful Life'd it for me. It is down to a once every three year viewing now.
Definitely in my top 3. I absolutely love this movie.


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