Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Dumbest Contestants On A Game Show Ever

I have never been a big fan of Million Dollar Drop, but I think that has more to do with the game format itself more than anything else. It is still big in the UK though and now one couple from their version of the show can congratulate themselves on being crowned the dumbest contestants ever on a game show. This is the equivalent of missing the first question on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. After the couple missed the question, Ricky Gervais begged producers to not let the clip be shown to the rest of the world because the couple are such idiots.

Here is the question.

"Justin Timberlake won an award in October this year for helping to protect what?"

A."friends with benefits"
B."trouser snakes"
C."the environment"
D. "sexy backs"

They guessed Friends with benefits. Here is the video.

Kirsten Dunst Gets Restraining Order Against French Man

Apparently there are obsessed fans for every actress. Even an actress that lives half a world away from your home. Kirsten Dunst got a temporary restraining order against a man from Dijon France. He has written over 50 letters to her and traveled from France at least five times to try and meet her. See, this is the problem with getting so much vacation time. It leads to potential actress stalking. This is why here in the US we only get two weeks vacation time and many times less. We are all so tired from working every other day of the year and often nights that we are far too tired to do anything on our vacations except sleep and look at the calendar and know there are 50 more weeks before we can sleep again.

Apparently this guy wrote in one of his letters that he sold his home in France just so he would have more money to see Kirsten. The Kirsten Dunst wallpaper did not throw off potential buyers? Even though I am joking about this, the guy did show up in front of her house ten times and one time went up to the front door and confronted Kirsten's mother last week.

Keanu Reeves On The Subway

Even though this video was shot back in August, I have never seen it. It is surreal, but nice. Yeah yeah, my mom had Notting Hill last night and now I am quoting lines. I couldn't help it. She made Christmas crack which involves crackers caramel and chocolate but would only let me eat it if I watched the movie with her. Blackmail I say. What I should have done is start channeling Rhys Ifans and walk around in my tighty whities and then I could have escaped. Anyway, I have never seen this video of Keanu until today, but it is a really interesting 44 seconds. He is Mr. Fidgety the entire time but does give up his seat to a woman.

Courtney Stodden And Her Snowballs

I have an honest question for Courtney Stodden and her grandfather husband. You say that you are all moralistic and stuff and that Doug even turned down a movie because he thought it was too sexual in nature. Despite all of that, Courtney's mom or Doug keeps Tweeting things like "Squeezing my snowballs inside of a seasonal sexy little lingerie as I begin to swing around the Christmas tree to hot rock 'n roll hits! XOs"

"Mr. Moist Saint Nick: As I magnetically dangle this magical mistletoe above my mere mysteriousness… I imagine your mouth smooching mine…"

First of all, does anyone say rock n' roll? Well besides that guy who changed his name and is dating Kate Winslet. Smooching? WTF is a moist Saint Nick? I for one do not want funny little stains on my Christmas presents from Santa Claus.

And these pictures? Come on. I think she is just trying to stay relevant until she can turn 18 and cash in on Playboy. If Lindsay got $1M, then Courtney probably thinks she can get way more than that. Her big problem is that she is not old enough to host parties at clubs yet so she has to keep throwing out this stuff until she can.

Lowe's Pulls Ads From American Muslim

In full disclosure, I want to say that I only watched bits and pieces of American Muslim the other night on television. I flipped over to it during commercials and from what I saw, I found it to be interesting just because there has never really been a show quite like it that I have seen. Apparently some groups complained about the show and that "it hides the clear and present danger to American liberties." Really? To me it looked like a reality show. Lowe's apparently bowed to pressure though and pulled their ads from the show. They said that it just did not fit in with their programming style. Do they advertise on Sister Wives? Jersey Shore? People find those shows offensive and I have often believed that the cast on Jersey Shore has an agenda of trying to spread GTL and smushing to people all over the world. This can't be allowed to happen. A whole planet of Snooki?

Do I want to live my life as an American Muslim? No, but I also don't want to do half the jobs on Dirty Jobs, but I find it interesting.

Hulk Hogan Sues Linda Hogan

When I saw that Hulk Hogan was suing his ex-wife Linda Hogan I thought it might be because they were fighting over the family stripper pole. Linda of course wants her boyfriend (is he still a teenager) to use it for her and Hulk wants either Brooke or his new wife wearing a Brooke mask to use it. The pole is probably very classy. Kind of like all of Cousin Eddie's wardrobe in the Vacation movies.

Anyway, it turns out that Hulk is upset about all the abuse claims and homosexual claims that Linda put in her recent book. I'm not so sure this is a good idea. In this fast news cycle thing, the story that he may have have homosexual encounters has already been done and is over. Now he is just bringing it all back up again and the first thing Linda's lawyers are going to do is make Hulk sit down and answer a bunch if questions about his sex life, under oath. Does he really want to go through that. I would LOVE for her attorneys to bring out the rubbing oil on the inside of Brooke's thighs photo and ask him about that.

Kris Humphries Upset About Good Morning America Interview

Yesterday, Kris Humphries was on Good Morning America. I watched the interview and thought it was boring and that Humphries looked like an idiot. Since you already knew that about him and that he is as spicy as the jello they serve at nursing homes, I skipped posting it. Apparently though, Kris was very upset at Good Morning America for asking him about Kim Kardashian and not about sports and charity. How do I explain this to you Kris? No one outside of your immediate family is all that interested in seeing you on television because you really do not have anything to contribute that any other NBA player could contribute. The only reason you were on the show was to talk about Kim Kardashian. That is it. If you thought it was because of some other reason, then you are even more of an idiot than I ever suspected.

Lindsay Lohan Playboy Photos Leak - ER's Filled With People Who Have Gone Blind

I remember back in the day when Kim Kardashian appeared in Playboy I got my hands on some of her photos before maybe they were supposed to be out and Playboy shut down my site for six hours before I could have someone run over to the Playboy Mansion and get Hef a year's supply of little blue pills.

Well, times have changed now. Lindsay Lohan's issue was not supposed to come out until next week, but the photos all leaked so Hugh and Playboy just decided to release the issue early. Do you think they could have been behind this whole thing? Kind of convenient to only have the cover leak and then a few days later have the photos leak. You know whoever had access to the cover had access to the photos inside. Why didn't they do both? Why did they wait? Hugh knows what I know that everyone has seen Lindsay naked. So, in order to spice things up and try and get his $1M back, they play a little marketing game. If you want to have your retinas burning all day you can click here and see Lindsay in all her nakedness.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Random Photos Part Two

What is it exactly that Ashlee Simpson now does? Just working for Jessica?
Charlize Theron at the NYC premiere of Young Adult.
The writer of the screenplay, Cody Diablo was also there.
Demi Lovato shows off her new tattoo.
Honor tells Santa what she wants for Christmas and then
Jessica Alba takes her turn and asks to be a good actress. Now that would be a Christmas miracle.
Yeah we get it. You are in love.
Jennifer Hudson heads out with her fiance and son.
That is Jennifer Lopez doing the cartwheel in Uruguay.

Random Photos Part One - With Reader Photos

Two parts today.

Jon Voight gets a hug and it is not from his "niece."
It is his daughter at the Los Angeles premiere of her directorial debut.
Brad Pitt was there.
Gwen Stefani showed up ready for bed.
Jay-Z says he is having twins. No, just performing two shows for charity.
Not surprising at all is that Paris Hilton's decorations in her house are photos of herself.
Robert Downey Jr carries Noomi Rapace's dress while Jude Law leads the way in London.
Reader Photo #1
Reader Photo #2
A brand new photoshop is being unveiled which can be done in two minutes by an absolute beginner with no special training.

Your Turn

The other night I was out and someone in the group I was in ordered a drink I had never heard of. Do you know how hard that is to do? I'm not a bartender and never have been one of the people I call saints. Well, except when they are kicking me out, but I know they do it out of love. Well, I tell myself that.

I do like to test bartenders. My favorite way to test them is to order a Sazerac. I also test them by seeing if they notice me poaching the olives from the bar. I got hooked on Sazeracs in New Orleans, but it is rare that someone knows how to make one here in Los Angeles. So, today I want to know your favorite drink or favorite drink name, or even a favorite drinking game.

SoulPancake And The Dance Walk

Nothing like a little uplifting video for a Friday. SoulPancake, which was created by Rainn Wilson does these videos to try and get people to be happier about life. Here is their latest attempt. They transformed a crosswalk into a dance walk.

Ted C Blind Item

Brucey Huskers is a gorgeous star. Brucey's hot. Brucey has a super-bitchin', manly body. Brucey hangs with other equally luscious-lookin' Tinseltown (and Blind Vice star) celebrities, who he's gotten mucho intimate with.

So, why is Brucey having trouble getting some lovin' lately?

Oh, wait. That rumor that he's not getting any since his big Hollywood split turns out to be...

Just that, a rumor!

"Don't you realize that this explains everything a little bit more clearly?" said one of the dudes who hangs thisclose alongside the humpy celebrity, who's gone back to getting it on with guys (something he did before his latest sexy starlet romance), since his latest publicized romance went sour.

"Ever stop to think why these 'relationships' of his don't last," asked Brucey's equally handsome bud, rhetorically. "Only a guy who's into guys would go out with the women this guy's gone out with," bitched the Huskers hanger-on.

Now, if you're able to follow the logic here, it pretty much makes sense: Brucey hooks up with Hollywood gals who are gorgeous but who he knows he has zilcho in common with. Everyone's shocked when it doesn't work out, as both parties are almost always super hot! Leaving the public breathless and waiting for the next hetero hook-up.

So, what gives?

Just that Brucey wants to keep getting in on with the guys even though he tells even himself it's the chickers he's really wanting.

Uh, so not the case.

But, Brucey will be the last to know this.

AND IT AIN'T: Ashton Kutcher, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen

X-Factor Elimination Is The Only Interesting Part

It seems like the only time I ever write about X Factor is when there is an interesting elimination. I don't understand how someone can get voted off before they sing their survival song, but those are the rules I guess. Last night, 13 year old Rachel Crow was voted off the show by America, but Nicole Scherzinger could have saved her. She did not and spent the night crying and getting booed. Probably no death threats this week though.

Four For Friday - Closeted Lovers Compete For Oscar Nomination

This awards season is shaping up to be very interesting. One of my favorite closeted A list movie actresses, only seems to go for women when her relationships with men go sour. Well, after a recent breakup she found herself at an event and met this foreign born B list actress who you would recognize but would be hard pressed to put a name with the face. The foreign born actress has always said she has boyfriends but I don't think anyone has actually ever seen one. Anyway, despite being slightly older than our A list actress, the two hit it off and have been spending a great deal of time with each other and try to spend three or four nights together a month. The interesting thing is that both have a good chance of being nominated for Academy Awards this year in the same category. I wonder how that will work out if one wins.

#1 - A list actress
#2 - B list actress
#3&#4 - The movies they are in that are being nominated.

Another Date Letter

Long time reader East Village Gypsy e-mailed this letter to me that a guy sent to a friend of hers after a few dates. Is there a book of these letters because there really needs to be. You would be hard pressed to find a bigger tool than this guy. The one from earlier in the week was a tool, but seemed genuinely baffled. The guy in this one? Wow.

Hey, it's Fernando

I didn't email you this when we were on the topic because some other stuff was occupying my mind.

I apologize in advance if this is lengthy, but I feel like I owe you a good explanation. So from the last time we were on the phone, the issue seems to be that you want traditional dates. That much is clear - you said you want to "get to know" me, but then stated it wasn't enough to talk on the phone, get drinks/coffee, movies, etc.. you seemed to want dinners, i.e., traditional dates.

So here's the truth about me: I'm at a point in my life where I'm very cautious about whom I date - cautious in the economic sense. I told you I've been with 45-50 women.. almost half of these came from within NYC in the past 7 months. Those are just women I've had sex with.. that's excluding all the women I've been with in other ways... so when you do the math, I've been on dozens and dozens of dates during my short time here. I'm learning that when you're a man, dating in the city takes a lot of $$, especially if you want an abundant sexual life.

You're a smart woman - I'm sure you know by now that men go on "dates" NOT to get to know their woman, but because society dictates that certain platonic activities are required before getting to the sex. Unless you're naive, you know by now that 95% of men would prefer to skip the b.s. and go straight to the sex (the other 5% are probably gay). That's NOT to say they want JUST sex... but they are first and foremost drawn to a woman because of their sexual desire for her. They can definitely enjoy a woman's company, obviously, but sex will always be on the brain.

And women definitely enjoy sex too.. duh.. but they want sex under different circumstances. They require more comfort and trust.. and that amounts to dates. I could have a field day on the this rather fascinating topic, since I listen to various lectures and read articles on evolutionary psychology, and the differences between men and women in the dating arena.. but for now it should be sufficient to state that men are always ready for sex.. women not so much - and they prefer to draw out the courtship process as long as possible before they are comfortable relinquishing the sex to a new guy - for valid reasons - evolutionarily speaking, women invest much more and stand to lose much more in sex than men, i.e. 9 months of pregnancy.

So how does this all relate to you and me? For my part, after having gone on dates with dozens and dozens of women (on a good week I have as many as 4 dates.. but I've never gone on fewer than 1 date per week), I've decided that I must use my judgment and focus my $$ where I get the biggest bang for my buck. The most wonderful women in my life have been those with whom I've escalated sexually very quickly. The indian girl I dated in Boston for almost a year - we had sex on our first date.. and since we had gone past that barrier, I was very comfortable taking her out to dinner, movies, spending hundreds of dollars with her. One of the more recent women I've dated in Astoria.. we had sex on the second date.. and after that things were blissful - she'd come over on occasion and we'd have sex, but I'd also randomly feel like taking her out to dinner or drinks or movies with no agenda.. and we didn't have to have sex every time we hungout because I knew sex would be there in the future. Those are just two examples of what I truly want - a situation where the woman and I get what we both want: I was having sex with a woman I was attracted to and I enjoyed her company.. and she got what she wanted: sex, but also to be treated like a lady, e.g., enjoying her dates, being pampered, etc. That, in my humble opinion, is how men and women should treat each other.. both parties should get what they want and deserve.

Now, not all women are as sexually adventurous and open.. and MOST of my dates have been with women who try to make me their next boyfriend and want to take things ultra slowly... very frustrating.. I wish I knew what it was about me that brought out that quality so I could turn it off. Anyway, there have been those women who have rules about when they'll have sex.. one beautiful girl who liked exactly like Tina Fey told me she would make me wait for months, and even then it would not get sexual until we were in a committed relationship. Another gorgeous vietnamese girl said she had a 2 month rule.. telling me later that rule existed because she didn't want to get hurt. Other women are just damaged: one attractive caucasian yoga instructor just got out of a 2 year relationship.. and after two very expensive dates I brought her back to my place.. and she got freaked out and I never saw her again - someone who clearly wasn't ready to get sexual even after two long dates and a couple hours of phone time. These are just three examples.. there are many many more... but they all illustrate one important point: when a date or dates with a girl don't work out... she simply goes home and says to her friends "it didn't work out, oh well..".. and to her and her friends this is just an innocent occurence of life in NYC - two people who weren't compatible.

But, in light of what I just discussed above, when you're the man in this scenario, the loss is much more egregious - you sacrified your time, your money, AND you didn't get sex.. which to you, as the man, is the agenda when you're on a date. (women have NEVER paid for any first few dates until after I've had sex with them.. which is when they usually become more generous - for instance, this one young girl was abusive on the date and kept ordering expensive drinks, while I had cheap $5 dollar beers.. I put my foot down and decided to split the bill, and that itself was the deal breaker - she never wanted to see me again and told me that was the reason). So I date a lot, more than most guys I bet, but I'm unapologetic because at the end of the day, if things don't work out, I am the one who takes the hit to my wallet. Some of these women have cost me between $80-90 dollars with nothing to show for it except some kissing. The only reason I'm not bankrupt from this whole process is because I have a job that pays pretty decently.. and I can't stop because my horny nature drives me forward.

So when I said to you "I deserve to get what I want" and you pulled back.. you didn't allow me to explain - and the explanation is simple: With you, I'm on very dangerous ground. You raised not just a couple, but a few gargantuan red flags: 1. you said 6 months, and that you'd make me wait a "long time." 2. you stated you want "dinners" in particular - a huge problem for me because dinners are very pricey, and there's nothing romantic or sexual about the act of eating.

Cumulatively, this gives me huge reason to doubt that sex will ever happen with you. 6 months - and for sake of argument let's reduce it to 2 months - is a long time. Suppose we're dating for 2 months.. and in that time you want the whole 9 yards.. dinners, drinks, etc.. that's me spending a lot of $$, and even then sex is STILL not guaranteed. And what happens if it doesn't work out? For you, nothing - a slight disappointment that you can shrug off. For me: lots of money and frustration and, let's face it, going home for internet porn. Personally, I'd prefer to get the sex out of the way, and THEN get onto the expensive dates. That's what I've always done, and it's resulted in some of the best and most delightful relationships I've ever been in.

Now, to be fair, I DID tell you that I could wait.. but that's because we'd gotten drinks on one occasion, and had coffee on another, and we've chatted on the phone... all relatively inexpensive ways of getting to know a woman. So I may have been willing to wait a while since the "waiting" was not costing me financially. All that changes once you alter the deal to dinners and dates. If you were the only woman on my radar, then this would be easily manageable.. and perhaps even worth the financial risk. But you're not the only woman on the radar, as I continue to go on several dates that add to the money I spend on women per week. Now, I'd never rule out exclusivity with the right woman, but that's never going to be on the table until the sex has occurred.

I stand by what I said to you before: I don't want to be JUST physical with you. I did enjoy our conversations, and there are so many things I like about your quirky personality, and you get my sense of humor and I enjoy yours. But none of that matters in the end if I'm not getting what I truly want - sex with you in conjunction with your personality, charisma, charm, etc. And I think I deserve that - I'm a well educated man who's fun, intelligent, well spoken, financially stable, good looking, musically talented with the piano. great in bed (been told that several times, so I don't want to hear your sarcastic jokes ;) ), and knows how to show a woman a good time when we're out and about.

Sweetie.. you're a great woman. You really are. But we're in NYC - and there are so many single women out there.. they're literally everwhere... and I'm constantly meeting them on the street, on the subway, at the bar, at the club, in my own neighborhood, etc.. I currently have an inventory of 7 women who are interested in seeing me, and I sometimes can't fit them into my schedule, so naturally there's fallout.. and new ones come into my life to replenish the old ones who've flaked. I have to be logical, rational, and exhibit good judment: so many women out there who give me the entire package of what I want. So I hope you have some perspective and compassion when I'm not terribly enthusiastic about the prospect of going out with you on all those dates you require, especially where sex is unforeseeable. All this means nothing if sex was on the table with you.. at that point, I can truly and honestly say that I'd be down for any sort of date you'd like, and money would be no object, and I am confident I'd enjoy those dates just as much as you.

That's all I have to say, I'm sorry this was such a long email.


National Enquirer Blind Item

What famous family is being torn apart by their differing views on homosexuality? The religious clan claims to be inclu­sive, but an openly gay member of the brood is feeling the heat from one particular relative who thinks she should go back into the closet! Who are they?

DIY Sperm Bank

Many people have hobbies. Whether it be stamps or coins videogames or doing a blog, lots of people have them. I think though that Trent Arsenault is the first person I know who uses his spare time to send out his sperm to families. Now, I need to make this clear. Trent is not going to a sperm bank and donating his sperm. Nope. He does it himself at home and ships it out to low income and same sex couples who can't afford or get hassled by the sperm bank people. Trent thinks he has fathered 14 children and has received 20,000 e-mail requests. That my friends is a whole lot of porn that Trent must be watching. I wonder how many of those 20,000 he has fulfilled. There is no way this guy is having sex.

I think it is funny and I think good for him if he can help. The Food & Drug Administration is not happy though and think he is violating the laws. They consider Trent a "firm" and also are trying to shut him down because he distributes semen. Apparently there are laws about distributing semen. Well, someone needs to talk to Lil Wayne and Kevin Federline because they keep distributing their semen and the government does nothing about it.

Salman Rushdie Is A Gossip Machine

Who knew that someone like Salman Rushdie could make the gossip pages so often. Last week it was his I didn't date that person when he really did actions and this week comes news about why he might have said what he said about Devorah Rose last week. This one is kind of complicated. I wish I could draw a photo.

So, Salman Rushdie used to date Michelle Barish. They dated until March. Michelle is way out of his league and is in the process of getting a divorce.

In March, Barish started dating Steve Tisch. He is the baby daddy to Liz Hurley's child. He also does really well when it comes to dating, but I put his down to having billions of dollars.

Michelle fell head over heels in love with Tisch.

He dumped her on November 29th. He did so right after a party that Salman Rushdie crashed.
Two days later, Salman Rushdie proposed to Michelle Barish. Huh? She is still thinking it over, and according to The NY Post, is still in love with Steve. Oh, and of course there is this whole divorce thing.

BuzzFoto Blind Item

This is a creepy number and we’ve saved up a spooky blind for it: Last year this on-her-way-to-A List actress was sleeping with two different actors. One was a married costar and the other was an actor. For whatever reason (we can’t verify if it was just for fun or something she does often), this actress went to a fortune teller. The fortune teller told her that she had to find a way to break up with both of the men at the exact same time on a certain date. If she didn’t do this exactly the way it was explained to her, she was told she would be barren the rest of her life. If she did and did it successfully, within a year she’d be in a happy and stable relationship. She went home and broke up with both the men, causing a lot of drama but it’s a year later and she’s now in a relationship.

Katherine Heigl Says Josh Kelley Can Cheat And She Will Take Him Back

It is all well and good to forgive your spouse or significant other if they cheat. I mean it is your own personal choice and each situation is going to be different. However, when you just come right out and say that your significant other can cheat even if they have not and that you will forgive them, umm, will they just run right out and cheat? Are you giving them a free license to be Ashton Kutcher or Tiger Woods. Katherine gave an interview to Cosmo UK and said, "As much as I would kill him if he cheated because it would destroy me, I have started to question whether, if a mistake were to be made and it was a one-time thing, I would forgive him. Because look at the life we’ve built together. We have history, we have a child...But at the same time, it would be really hard to ever fully trust that person again."

I think she probably would have said something differently pre-child. Once you have a child together it kind of changes the whole dynamic and what you would put up with or do to make your relationship work. Maybe people should work that hard on their relationships even if they do not have children. So sayeth the man with six ex-wives.

TMZ Talks To Brangelina

After years of D listers drunk on camera, and thousands of hours of footage of Conrad Murray and Lindsay Lohan, TMZ reached the top of the pap game last night. One of their camera people actually got Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to talk to them. I'm sure it was planned by Brangelina to get some positive love. Psst. Angelina has that movie of hers coming out. She would like to see if she can get people to go and maybe she can get a little Oscar buzz. You just know those 75 year old Academy Award voters are sitting around watching Harvey and TMZ, but the Golden Globe people watch, so maybe that is who she was playing up to. Of course, if she promised to go out on a date with any guy in the Hollywood Foreign Press Association they would probably nominate her for whatever award she wanted. She didn't even have to date anyone last year and look at what happened to The Tourist. Can you imagine if the guy got lucky? They would rename Best Actress to the Angelina Jolie Best Actress Award.

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A New Friday Movie Is Coming

Chris Tucker is even more desperate for money than we thought. After camping out in front of Jackie Chan's house for the past few months in what he termed Occupy Jackie, Chris was unable to get Jackie to agree to a 25th installment of the Rush Hour franchise which means that Chris Tucker would actually have to work while acting to earn any kind of money and it would not be as much as Rush Hour money. Then he remembered Ice Cube. After appearing in the first Friday movie, Chris was a no show for the next 12 of them as they slowly morphed from a great movie to more of something that resembled the degeneration of the American Pie franchise. Oh, and Police Academy. Now though, Chris is back and with the exception of my beloved Bernie Mac, the remainder of the original Friday cast. I think they should call it "Friday 20 Years Later."

My Christmas Wish To Andy Cohen

Dear Andy,

First of all, Mazel to you and your new job. I think it is pretty great that you will be hosting Watch What Happens Live five days a week and think it is genius that you are doing it Sunday through Thursday. The last thing you want to be doing is working on a Friday and Saturday night and you managed to avoid it.

Kudos also to that whole Millionaire Matchmaker Reunion thing which was a great idea. I don't think we need to see it after every season like with the Housewives, but it was fun to reminisce, so thanks for that.

Speaking of Housewives, I would like to talk to you about my Christmas wish to you. Yes, I know you are Jewish, so if you would like to think of this as a holiday wish we can go with that. I am flexible. If you help me with this I will help you with your Christmas wish, which judging by the first part of the Matchmaker reunion show probably involves you and Madison and some whipped cream. Am I right or am I right? I like to say that last part sometimes. It is from Groundhog Day. Can you believe in America we have an annual movie tradition that involves a day about the a groundhog forecasting the weather and that it is actually a great movie?

Anyway, you made me lose my train of thought. Oh, as the former head of programming at Bravo you might be interested to know that despite my love for your network I do not watch it on Thursday nights. I divide my television viewing between your mother network NBC and also WE. I love the Braxtons. Just can't help it. I love that whole crazy family. I won't go into details right now, but feel to drop me a line and I will churn out a few thousand words about how good the show is.

I noticed that on the Real Housewives that you only have African American women on the Atlanta version of the show. Why is that? I'm not saying you are like Food Network or anything who just added their first African American person but remains a lily white bastion of a network, but it would be nice to see some more color on the Housewives and I have a suggestion.

Tamar Braxton on RH-Beverly Hills. You have to admit I just made you smile didn't I Andy? Come on, it is like that inside joke you share with Matthew Broderick. Can you imagine Tamar on Real Housewives. Imagine it Andy. Teaching Lisa Vanderpump how to dance. Calling everyone dot com. She would be the only truly honest person on the show. Taylor yells at Tamar? It would only happen once. Taylor then would never utter an unkind word or raise her voice in front of Tamar again. Can you imagine the conflict? It would be heaven ratings wise. I promise. Plus, Tamar is qualified. She has as much money, if not more than your cast. Of course, I think my dog has more money than Taylor at this point. How is she doing it? Smoke and mirrors? Tamar also thinks of herself first which seems to be a requisite for admission. Oh, she spends a ridiculous amount of money on clothes, has only worn sneakers in one episode and they probably cost a fortune. She has huge pieces of expensive jewelry so can compete with Adrienne and Lisa. She is attractive and outgoing and probably has had some work done. Plus as a bonus to you this holiday season, I don't think she is addicted to any prescription pills or smokes crystal meth. It is a win/win.

Thanks for listening Andy and I hope you have a great holiday season and good luck on the show.


Kevin Federline Is On Another Celebrity Weight Loss Show

At this point I can see why Kevin Federline keeps eating as much as he does. I used to think it was just laziness and probably the munchies from smoking too much pot, but it turns out eating is kind of like a job to him. Tired of just getting paid for the rest of his life for sitting on his ass, Kevin now also gets paid for being on celebrity fit shows. After appearing on Celebrity Fit Club and losing some weight while getting paid a handsome fee, he piled it all back on and is now appearing on an Australian version of the same type show. Again, he is earning a very nice fee. Probably more than he got for Celebrity Fit Club. So, he drops a little weight and then he can pile it back on again and wait for the next country to call him. Have weight will travel.

Kris Jenner Wants Daniel Craig To Apologize

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how Daniel Craig had given an interview to GQ and basically blasted the Kardashians for making money off themselves by being idiots. He actually said it was more strongly and I, like you, applauded him for it. I think everyone did except for the Kardashians. Well, now Kris Jenner gave an interview to Heat Magazine and says that Daniel Craig should apologize and that if he does not then he is not a real man. No, Kris, I think that you have real men confused with that cuckolded husband you keep locked up in the garage playing with his toys and only let out for company and E! cameras. Daniel Craig is a real man. Oh, then she also says that she will not stoop to commenting on his career. Huh? He made that one crap movie this summer, but no matter how much the Kardashians make, it will not be as much as Daniel, and he will have to work way way less to achieve his money. For the Kardashians to earn their money they do so by working nonstop and promoting anything and everything as long as it has a paycheck that does not bounce. Daniel will probably end up with about $20M for each movie he makes. They take two to three months five days a week and he probably never works more than 12 hours each day.

Michelle Duggar Has Miscarriage

I might joke about the Duggars and their two football teams of children and I even said when she announced her pregnancy that I was not sure it was a good idea considering what she had gone through in her last pregnancy and delivery, but there is nothing funny about a miscarriage. Michelle found out about it at her regular monthly doctor's appointment. The doctor tried to find a heartbeat and could not. Can you imagine the pain of carrying a baby for five months and then going into a doctor's office thinking everything is fine and discovering that the baby you were carrying and looking forward to seeing has died. Truly awful.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Random Photos Part Three

Amanda Seyfried and a really big birthday cake.
Brangelina take the kids shopping at FAO Schwartz.
Meanwhile, Brad Pitt does his Kramer impression.
Chord Overstreet and Emma Roberts demonstrate why most people do not walk down the street while hugging. Hard.
Christina Ricci in Emmy Magazine.
Emma Watson in Hong Kong picking up a check.
Selena Gomez wants to be spanked?
And then back to 21st century dating.

Random Photos Part Two

Kirstie Alley doing some Christmas shopping. Oh wait. Scientologists don't celebrate Christmas.
This is actually a good photo of Kendra Wilkinson.
Penn Badgley and Chace Crawford hanging out after work.
The New Year's Eve NYC premiere was last night. Surprises to me? Abigail Breslin on the left looks 25, not 15. Oh, and Michelle Pfeiffer still rocks.
Zac Efron says he loved kissing Michelle in the movie. I would too.
Jon Bon Jovi was also there with his entire family.
Jessica Biel went for frumpy again. She looked good on Letterman though.
Robert DeNiro never looks like he is having fun.


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