Friday, November 20, 2009

Four For Friday

#1 - You just never know when and where you will run into a former A list television actor and producer and now a stumbling C list parody. Anyway, on Wednesday, our actor was in a drug store in Aldergrove, BC looking at herbal supplements. While he was looking a fellow customer grazed our actor with her basket. At that point our actor said, "watch where you are going," and being in Canada hip checked the woman into a neighboring shelf. The actor was in the store looking for a special herb. Why? The herb is the only one our actor trusts for eliminating the odor of booze on his breath. Our actor was also kicked out of a pizza place the night before for being drunk. The only time in the history of the place it had ever kicked out anyone.

#2 & #3 - This female singer has a very unique hair style. She said she came up with the idea on her own. I'm sure she did after the fact. It was necessitated though by the fact she got into a fight with her idiot A list singer/producer boyfriend who took a pair of scissors and cut huge chunks of hair off our female singer's head.

#4 & #5 - So what do you do if you are a brand new C list celebutard who in your mind thinks you are A list? Why you go up to women and start hitting on them and generally making an ass of yourself. This is especially evident when you walk up to a C+/B- list television actress from a hit for this network drama who is already known for not being friendly and who responds to the horrible pick up lines by saying, "Who in the f**k are you? Are you 12?" When the celebutard answered her our actress just laughed and turned away and told our celebutard to find someone else. Our celebutard then walked away with his bodyguard in tow. Yes, he really has a bodyguard and it really is funny.

Random Photos Part Two

Daul Kim - RIP (I encourage you to Google her name and watch her video diaries. They will give you a sense of who she was and why she will be so missed)

Have you ever noticed that while the rest of the Twilight cast gets to go to New York and red carpets around the world, Billy Burke gets the gigs no one else wants. He looks thrilled about it too.
It kind of looks like a Tim Burton movie but it is the new trend in cakes. Divorce cakes.
Calgary had a big turnout of celebrities yesterday. Elisha Cuthbert, Piven and Heather Marks.
Also in town were Kristen Bell and Christina Hendricks.
Emily Osment is my most requested tweener picture.
Fergie - New York
Heidi Klum back on the runway just a few weeks after giving birth.
At the show were Jay-Z and Dr. Dre.
And showing up four hours early so they could tailgate were the Followills from Kings Of Leon.
The random posed photo of the day goes to Gilles Marini in Miami.
It's Jasmine Guy. It is good to see her. Here she is with Josh Brolin and his ring less fingers.
And then Josh again and some guys you might know. Umm, some guy named Viggo and also Matt Damon. Enjoy.
John Krasinski and Emily Blunt who I am predicting right now will never get married. I say that and watch they will go to Vegas this weekend or something.
Jennifer Lopez must be hurting her own ears. She is getting ready to hurt all of yours on Sunday night where she will sing that song I posted earlier.

Random Photos Part One

Two parts today. I also want to announce that it is that time of the year again. We are just about six weeks away from reveals and as a part of the lead up into reveals day I love posting photos of you in the random photos. So, beginning next week and for the next four weeks I will post your photos daily and then on reveal day put all of them into one big post. If you would like your photo in the photos send an e-mail to

I don't know if I have ever seen Julia Roberts jogging before. I have seen her walking briskly and pushing a stroller. I think I have seen her swimming, but never jogging.
Kathleen Turner has a name tag so everyone knows who she is. Don't worry Kathleen I won't forget who you are.
You know you need a sandwich when your head appears to be twice as big as the rest of your body. So, Lydia Hearst, eat a sandwich.
Do you think Michael Bolton has ever watched Office Space? Do you think he laughs?
A couple is convinced the sonogram picture of their baby shows Michael Jackson.
I know that producers have cast Bebe Neuwirth as Morticia Addams for Broadway but I really think they should also keep in mind Michelle Trachtenberg. She is so pale. Here she is with Matthew Settle.
I'm sure D&G thought a black backdrop would be great. I think what they failed to account for is that most people have black coats. Here is Natalie Portman or at least her face and hands.
So, this isn't Tom Cruise's boyfriend or anything, but it is probably something he loves. Instead of having to wear Spanx he can now get this t-shirt from some company that says it will make you look like you always have a six pack. A review I read from a man said all he got was a heat rash when he wore it when it was hot outside and that no one noticed until he said something.
Selma Blair and Ginnifer Goodwin. I feel like I am watching some kind of changing of the guard or at least a possible SWF situation.
Is Matt Lauer patting Susan on the head?
Suri crosses the finish line first. She wins a free e-meter!!!
Sharon Stone in Japan. She then started singing Mr. Robato.
Taylor Momsen took the whole vampire movie opening way too literally.
The Pixies - Chicago
And then Victoria Beckham fell down the rest of the stairs because she couldn't see.

Your Turn

So, next Wednesday I will do a special Thanksgiving Your Turn, but for this week I wanted to focus on some of the moral dilemmas that Hollywood has offered us in movies. The best one I have seen recently was in Gone Baby Gone, but for this week, I have two questions based on two movies (Indecent Proposal & The Box) where the premise was for one million dollars would you compromise your morals.

1. Would you let someone have sex with your significant other for one night for $1M?
2. Would you accept $1M knowing that someone you don't know would be killed?

The Fan Of The Day

Forget all those Twilight fans. They have nothing on a fan of the British boy band JLS. Is it a tribute band to Jamie Lynn Spears or something? Anyway, no one knows the name of the girl because she got away, but this is what happened. She followed the band around to see what their luggage looked like. She then went out and bought a piece of luggage that was identical. She then walked over to where all the luggage for the band was being kept as they checked out of their hotel in Dublin and zipped herself up inside the piece she had bought.

She probably would have got away with it and been loaded into the storage area of the tour bus but the loaders noticed the bag was squirming and so they opened it up and out she fell. Apparently she had been in there for about 30 minutes and was already faint so there is no telling what would have happened if she had managed to get on the tour bus. For all her efforts the girl still didn't get to meet the band as they had left using different transportation. While being questioned she said she had to go to the bathroom. She left and never returned.

Eddie Cibrian Actually Sued Life & Style

Eddie Cibrian must really want that gravy train to keep on rolling because he sued Life & Style for their article that he was cheating on LeAnn Rimes with a woman he had previously cheated on his wife with. Oh, and of course he also cheated on his wife with LeAnn and of course both women knew he was married when they decided to help him cheat. That is a lot of cheating. Oh, and of course LeAnn cheating on her husband with Eddie.

Do I think Eddie was cheating on LeAnn? I don't know. It wouldn't shock me but this his meal ticket and so I don't think he would throw it away quite that quickly. I do know that if he continues with this suit that he better be prepared to answer a million questions about his sex life and that if he cheated in his marriage with any other women it will all come out.

If he didn't cheat on LeAnn and only cheated on his wife with LeAnn and Scheana (above) then he will be ok. Of course if there are two women there are probably more.

Carrie Prejean's Brother Would Watch Her Sex Tapes

I may have thrown up a little bit in my mouth and it isn't because I'm think of Carrie Prejean. In an interview with Radar that he will probably regret for the rest of his life, Carrie Prejean's brother Billy who has been accused of being a skinhead said that he would probably watch his sisters sex tapes if they become available. “If they were put in front of me I’d probably watch it.”

Really? This will probably make for an awkward Thanksgiving.

While he i passing her the turkey or the stuffing will he be undressing his sister with his eyes and wondering what she looks like in a sex tape? The people over at Radar must have loved getting that quote from him. This is your sister. He does try and adopt the family line that says she was a teenager when she made the tapes, but he doesn't sound so sure of himself. I guess he wants her to be old enough so they get released since he wants to see them himself. I guess he could ask her for a private show over the holidays.

Jude Law Needs To Lighten Up Or Move Out

When Jude Law came to New York to star in Hamlet on Broadway he needed a place to stay. Well, the place he found just happens to be next door to the freshman dorm at NYU. An entire side of the dorm looks out onto the balcony of Jude Law's apartment and whenever he appears, people go running to their windows and the catcalls begin.

Considering that Jude Law regularly exercises out on his balcony this has provided the freshmen with some interesting things to do during the day. Jude however is not amused. One of the days he was working out and the hollering began, Jude walked back inside to his apartment and emerged with oranges which he threw at the dorm windows. All misses. So, Jude went and got a few more oranges and this time was successful and covered several of the windows in orange pulp. I wonder how he would have reacted if he had broken one of the windows with his tosses.

I don't have any sympathy for Jude in this at all. If he doesn't want the noise and the yelling then he shouldn't have moved into the place or he shouldn't use his balcony. I am not going to get upset at a bunch of 19 year old kids having fun and doing nothing but calling out to him.

Brad Pitt - Truth Or Fiction?

Do you remember the pictures above? They were taken on Halloween when Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie took the kids out for some trick or treating. It was a very family thing to do and it probably won't happen very often. Well, according to Life & Style, Brad Pitt passed up $5M to go trick or treating that night.

Brad had been scheduled to appear that night in Abu Dhabi at a Grand Prix ball and was being paid $5M to show up for the event. A spokesperson for the event said, "We were told he would be attending as the guest of the Tourism Development and Investment Company. But he was a no-show, and nobody seemed to know why."

My guess is that he wasn't scheduled to show up because if he was then he would be getting sued right about now. Do you think Brad would pass up $5M to spend Halloween with his kids? That is a lot of money for one night to just say no to. I don't know whether to believe the story or not. It makes Brad sound like the father of the year which is why I am suspicious of it. I'm sure he is a fine dad, but it is almost too fatherly to be true.

TV News - Lost, Heroes, Oprah And I Promise No Project Runway Spoilers Either

Yes, I know the Project Runway finale was yesterday but Canada is a few weeks behind as is the rest of the world so please do not mention the winner in the comments. Exciting though wasn't it when Heidi named herself the winner and threw out all the rest of the contestants and then gave that evil laugh as they faded to commercial. I never expected such a thing.

Anyway, if you are a Lost fan it will start on February 2nd, 2010 which is a Tuesday. That is at 9pm. They are giving the show a different day which is very interesting. It will be the last episodes ever so enjoy them.

Also probably finishing out the string is Heroes. NBC is moving it from 8pm to 9pm to try and get someone to watch it. This past Monday it had its lowest ratings ever and I can't see how it makes it back for another year. The first year was great but the second year it fell part and the show never recovered. I know Trauma was canceled, but NBC probably figures anything can do better than Heroes was doing at 8pm and so NBC ordered three new episodes of the show and will air them in Heroes old time slot. Got it?

Oh, and I saw that Oprah is quitting her show in late 2011. Well sure, this way we can give her a nice 22 month send off and every guest she has will bring her presents. Do we really need this much notice? No, but she wants to make sure that people are watching so she can go out on a high note.

Ted C Blind Item

Darlings, we were going to give you a New Moon Vice update, but for all of you who are so sick of vampires you could cry blood, we'll reward you by bringing back an oldie but yummy goodie.

Remember Crotch Uh-Lastic, the hunky, rising male star who would hire men to come back to his Hills pad, dress up in some swim trunks and get the naughty party started?

We can't believe it's almost been two years, but Crotch has officially risen, like a hunky hero out of burning celeb-saturated waters! Mr. Uh-Lastic has solidified himself as a respected Hollywood actor, which means it's time to be even more discreet 'bout his homolicious ways...

See, Crotch would love to go out, hit up the gay scene and bring himself back a cutie. But as the fagola Hollywood story goes, he so cannot out himself.

Not because he cares about being famous. No, Toothy Tile Crotch is not. Instead, CUL is more concerned how his sexuality would hinder the roles he gets, 'cause he's now being taken oh so seriously. He loves acting—not the ritzy lifestyle that comes with it. He doesn't even care that much about hurting his beard (if Toothy outted himself, it would be very damning to the both of them, in many, many ways).

So what's a horny, dude-loving guy to do?

Sic his assistant on the unknowing gay population of Los Angles, natch. Only problem is the de-lish men in West Hollywood are totally starting to catch on—and they're blabbin' about it, too! Halle-homo-lujah!

Mr. Lastic's assistant frequents the standard WeHo gay bars, successfully luring back men for his famous master. Too funny: It's also the exact same dude-fishing MO Furrowed Frank uses when he has his trainer lure future conquests for him at the gym!

Only problem is, if said man isn't interested in hooking up with Crotch on the down-low, the guy has no reason not to spread it around to his gossip-lovin' friends. Seems pretty strange to us, as Mr. U.-L. is as hunky doable as they come.

And as sneaky as Crotch would like to be, more and more people 'round town are starting to hear about what goes down, literally, up in his Hollywood home. And it's not just poolside, folks.

Think any of these guys will out dear old Crotchy soon? Doubtful. With his adorable dimples, more men will jump at the chance to jump CUH and then shut up about it after than won't. But remember, it only takes one.

And It Ain't: Alexander Skarsgård, Matthew Fox, Ryan Phillippe

Jennifer Lopez Is A Waste Of Space

When I first saw that Jennifer Lopez's first single off her new album was called Louboutins, I honestly thought it was a joke. I couldn't imagine which one of her people would approve something like that. The song is below but I must warn you that it is incredibly tough to listen to. Maybe I am just getting old or maybe it is because it is Jennifer Lopez singing it or maybe because it is the most obnoxious title of a song ever, but I really, really dislike this song. I have made it through the first 1:37 of it and this is what she has said so far. She is tired of being a part-time lover which I took for mistress and so she is leaving. How is she leaving? On her Louboutins which she then repeats about ten times to really hammer the f**king point in that she is leaving on Louboutins. This of course is after the first fifteen seconds of the song tease us with something akin to a record scratch and more hints that more references to Louboutins are on the way. A whole song about showing the world how much money you have? Really? Or are you perhaps just rubbing it in everyone's face? Really? Well how about a line in there that says I'm leaving you so I can go have a film career where I can make classics like Gigli.

I have never had a song annoy me more. Maybe I am just cranky. I am hung over and the last thing I needed this morning was some superficial self entitled no talent hack to start singing about she is leaving on her Louboutins. I don't really give a f**k how she leaves, but her act is old and I am tired of her and her skeleton looking husband. Go hide in a corner somewhere and maybe in ten years or so we will be ready again for you after you get some humility and a CD that doesn't sound exactly like the crap you were peddling 15 years ago.

Miley Cyrus's Tour Bus Overturns - One Person Killed

According to reports from various news outlets in Virginia, a section of highway is closed this morning after the tour bus in which Miley Cyrus normally travels in overturned and killed the driver. TMZ says Miley was in one of the four buses, but the sheriff on the scene said Miley wasn't in any of the buses and was traveling in an entirely different kind of transportation.

The roads were wet this morning and the bus ran off the side of the road and then overturned. To me it sounds like maybe the driver fell asleep. The driver was killed, one person was injured and everyone else on the bus evacuated by climbing through the front windshield.

The police are withholding the name of the driver until his family can be notified. I am sending them only good thoughts.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Today's Blind Items - **Warning: Graphic***

This former B list tween female singer and now a messed up D has made some very bad decisions over the past year or so but none compare to the one she made at a party in the past few nights. Since breaking up with her D list reality boyfriend she has been on the lookout for someone who can help with her career and put her back in the spotlight. Well, she found a B list rap star and he has been helping her out and paying for expenses, providing her drugs and has promised to help her with her new record. Everything was going fine until the party the other night when he threatened to take it all away unless she orally serviced a few of his friends at the party. She did. Stay tuned because she is going to a bigger party this week.

#1 - tweener
#2 - former D list reality boyfriend
#3 - B list rapper

Random Photos Part Two

Jeanne-Claude - RIP
Bono and Wycleaf then started singing Endless Love.
The whole skanky goatee thing is really starting to annoy me.
Chris O' Donnell and Elizabeth Banks.
Did Eliza Dushku go prematurely gray overnight or is that the lighting?
Emile Hirsch kind of went from superstar to super quiet after Speed Racer bombed.
Giada de Laurentiis in 944 Magazine.
Holly Madison earning a buck with a Lucille Ball look-a-like.
Ice-T seems to be a very happy man.
Speaking of happy men. I have never had a customs guy smile at me like that ever. I guarantee you if she keeps flirting with him, he will be volunteering to perform a full body cavity search on Angelina or Brad when they come through the next time.
Smile Jenna Fischer. Do you think maybe she sees the mystery hand out of the corner of her eye?
January Jones is certainly smiling. Maybe not eating, but definitely smiling along side Jennifer Carpenter.
John Mayer on his way into Letterman and
playing Santa for Pete Wentz.
Jamie Pressly getting fondled by her new husband.
Kate Hudson kind of looks like Kid Rock here right?
Meanwhile Kate Middleton has no problems taking the stairs. I would love to have seen how Beyonce or Mariah Carey would have reacted to the same situation. Stairs or just not attending?


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