Friday, August 29, 2008

Four For Friday

#1 - So what do you do if you are a C list actor from film and television with B+ name list recognition. You have been through several marriages, one of them extremely high profile, and have suffered through battles with drugs and alcohol and are apparently losing them again. Why, you go on sets and badger co-stars, former co-stars and others to buy Amway or whatever the hell they are calling themselves now. Our actor specializes in victimizing people with bit parts who don't want to upset him and possibly get fired so invariably buy things.

#2 & 3 - Some new information about one of the bigger breakups of the year. It was an A list actor and a wannabe. Apparently the A list actor found out that the wannabe had stopped taking birth control. He found this out when she told him she might be pregnant. Apparently he felt that her purposefully not taking the pill in order to get pregnant violated a rule and showed her the curb.

#4 - This A list actor who had some serious health and emotional issues last year, but was allegedly on the straight and narrow either doesn't care or had a huge slip over the weekend. At the same party that brought us two blinds from yesterday, our actor managed to consume almost an entire bottle of vodka all by himself. Sweet and very quiet was how the spy described him.

Random Photos Part One

I didn't look this good at 18. Andrew McCarthy is almost 46 and if you look this good at his age, you get the top spot. Last night I counted 36 separate rolls of fat and he looks like he could pose in GQ.
I didn't even know Claire Danes could smile. Hugh Dancy must be doing something right to get her to react like that.

A viewing of "Bones." Judging by the skeleton in the background, it appears the screening must be sponsored by People.
So, last week Mary Kate Olsen does the whole no pants thing and has set some sort of trend. If you are Blake Lively, do you really want to be following in the fashion footsteps of Mary Kate?
Don't think Brad Garrett has lost some weight? Check out the photo that fan has.
If this photo of Andrea Bocelli was taken in the US, it would freak me the hell out. But, it was taken in Australia so I can relax.
Ummm. Ellen. You need to bake the dough before they become cookies. Actually though, I don't have an oven in the basement, but I do have a Costco membership and have tubs of cookie dough that are really just as delicious, with none of that cleaning stuff after that you need to do with cooking.

Hey guess what? Dianne Wiest is also in the play with Katie Holmes.
I'm guessing that my Spanish Royals must have had all European royalty over to their house for some Twister and martinis or something because now the Danes have the whole synchronization thing going on.
Dana Delaney doing her best Velma impression while Josh Lucas doesn't even seem to mind.
Charlize Theron looks pretty damn good.

A man who knows how to exercise right. John Ventimiglia.

I think this might be the very first time Johnny Rotten has been in the photos. He is on set for a butter commercial in this photo. Yeah, I know. Times change.
So do you think Ashley Judd did the whole Ebony & Ivory necklace thing on purpose?
Jimmy Buffett - Wantagh, NY
"How many balls do you have?"
Would this be an inopportune time for Michael Phelps to yell, "shark?"

So, this weekend, I want everyone to get into a bathrobe and go to your favorite airport and try and pass through security.
When is the last time you saw Fran Drescher and Lynn Whitfield together? I bet most of you didn't even know if Lynn was alive did you?
Lykke Li - New York
Katy Perry - New York
Reese Witherspoon looks really good here. Really good.

Pay attention kids. If your goal is to grow up and be a reality star, you to can look forward to being paid $100 to open sushi restaurants.
You know what? I don't really like Jessica or Jennifer, but to see Rosario, Jennifer and Jessica all in one photo is still pretty cool.
Pussycat Dolls - New York
Just doing our monthly Michelle Williams check.
Now Will Arnett on 30 Rock I can handle. Good thing to since he is filming here for an episode of the show.

"Pssst. Victoria. Typically when you pray, the hands go up. I know you probably owe your career to the direction you are pointing, but still, it looks bad."
Sneaky Sound System - Sydney
I believe this is a first time appearance for Sam Rockwell in the photos.
And this is Sienna Miller actually coming OUT of a hair salon.

Your Turn

Here in the US, we have a holiday on Monday. This is basically the last gasp of summer and people will be hitting the roads to enjoy that last bit of freedom before the reality of school or work comes crashing back down on their heads. Lots of people will be doing so in a car, and I am remembering some really cool road trips I took in my first car. Of course it couldn't go far, because it went through a battery every three days, and was always leaking air in the tires. So, really the best road trips were when I "borrowed" the parents car.

Even though my car was a pile of junk, I remember it fondly. Never had sex in it though. Other people did. It was big, and cheaper than a hotel room.

So, for today, I would love to know what your first car was. Whether you got it at 16, or 60, it is something you remember. You can tell a road trip story or whether you christened the back seat, or just jammed ten people in the trunk so you could go to the drive in theatre on the cheap.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which supposedly clean celeb gets her pals to check up her nose for fairy dust before leaving her trailer to mix with her public?

No. Please Don't Let It Happen

I think I have made myself clear before about my love for 30 Rock. But, just to reiterate, I love the show. I love every part of it, and to follow along with that childhood taunt, yes I would marry it. I would marry 30 Rock. I don't care that Alec Baldwin is an ass of epic proportions in real life because, honestly, his assiness is what makes him so good for the show. The writing is great, the characters are great. And now they are going to ruin it. They are going to destroy it for one big publicity stunt, ratings week spectacular. They are going to put Jennifer Aniston on the show.

I don't care if it is for 15 seconds or 15 minutes, I do not want her to spoil that show. I already think it borders on the criminal that the producers of The Iron Giant have never taken my advice and found someone to replace her on that film. I consider that film to be one of the greatest animated films of all-time. It would probably be the greatest, but Jennifer Aniston is in it. Sure, after the first time you can mute her whenever she comes on the screen, because her character does nothing, much like the real Jennifer Aniston.

30 Rock doesn't need a ratings boost. Show people having sex or something if you need ratings. Tell Alec and Tracy they need to do a shower scene and show some ass. Anything. What you don't need is Jennifer Aniston and her publicity machine taking over the show. And you Tina Fey. Yes you. I want to hear your explanation and it better not involve anything that has the word great in it when it comes to Jennifer.

Tom Cruise Calls His Wife Katie

Liz Smith of the NY Post got to interview Tom Cruise recently. It was by phone, which dispelled my notion that he did all interviews using some kind of magical power that implanted into the brain of the interviewer all the answers to any potential questions. Now, Liz gets some congratulations for getting Tom to talk, but in order to do so, basically sold herself out and just lobbed softball after softball at him. So, courtesy of the NY Post, here is the interview with a few of my comments. Unlike Liz though, I don't need to kiss his ass.

'I LOVE Paula Wagner, but she wants to produce elsewhere and in her own venue, and I don't intend to stand in her way. I'll say this of her leaving United Artists - whatever Paula wants is what I want her to have! And I hope we'll continue working together on future projects."

Umm, Paula Wagner got canned. Sure they might call it leaving under her own terms or whatever, but lets face it, she got canned, and Tom must have known she was going to get canned and didn't do anything. For years and years and years she stood up for him and defended him when the entire world was against him. He didn't do anything. Yes, she was not the best choice for the role, but when you are putting out Tom Cruise flops, how willing would you be to greenlight them very quickly. That last line of his about working together on future projects is a big load of crap also. He isn't going to go near her, and he can always say that nothing has ever materialized while still trying to look good.

So spoke Tom Cruise on the phone with me this week. He added, cryptically: "I don't run United Artists; I just own it."

Well then you need to find someone to run it a little better or else you are just going to own a bunch of empty property.

IT'S ALWAYS fun to talk to Tom, who tells me that his now "controversial" film about the German resistance attempt to assassinate Adolf Hitler in World War II is coming out on Dec. 26. All those critics who have panned the project, "Valkyrie," in advance, should know that nothing can deter Tom from his belief in this story. He says, "It's original. It's suspenseful. The writers Chris McQuarrie and Nathan Alexander are just great, and I can't say enough good things about the director, Bryan Singer. I first met him at the 'Mission Impossible' premiere, and we've been hoping to work together ever since." (Singer is the man who did "X-Men" and "Superman Returns." He will direct the next "Superman" as well.)

I already talked about this quote earlier this week. The only thing I will add is that Liz gets to her knees kind of quickly here.

WHEN I asked Tom why he felt so many people in the business have gone after the Valkyrie" project as if it's a bad idea or something historically obscene, he sighed: "It just doesn't make sense to me either. The moment I read the screenplay I knew it was an important story, and as it's a true tale of heroic resistance to one of the great villains of history, I can't imagine that people won't want to see it."

I ASKED Tom if he will continue doing comedies on the heels of his "character" impersonation as a fat, horrid studio executive in Ben Stiller's "Tropic Thunder"? He laughed, "Well, I'm always looking for something new, and Ben's movie is hilarious. He and I are old friends, and he is a really good director, so originally I said I'd do it just for friendship. But it turned out great. I actually love comedy, and I did it in 'Risky Business,' so I'll do more if it presents itself. I'm also always looking for a good love story, and I think I have one in a coming international thriller called 'The Tourist.' I believe I will be doing that."

First of all I don't think of Risky Business as a comedy, but whatever. So, that was 25 years ago, and he says he loves comedy. Well actually now that I think about he has been in a lot more comedies than he gives himself credit for. When I saw him playing an Irish guy in Far and Away I nearly cried from laughing so hard. Oooh, and I always thought Days Of Thunder was a comedy. Either that or some really bad acting. But, to show that I am fair and impartial, or pretending to be, he was in Austin Powers with the cameo and it was pretty funny to see him there.

I told Tom I was looking forward to his wife's debut on Broadway in the revival of Arthur Miller's "All My Sons." He said, "Things are going really well for Katie, and we'll see you on opening night, Sept. 18th."

He called her Katie. He did he did, he really , really did. Going to need to get audited for that slip up. Nice of him to plug her opening date.

I congratulated moviedom's big star on his little baby girl. He began to burble: "Oh, yes, she's so charming; she's so beautiful; she's just great!" (That was Daddy talking, not the formidable icon who has made billions of dollars for Hollywood since 1983.)

Moviedom's big star? Guess Tom was having a little trouble keeping it up or something. Is that burble or burp. Goodness she is trying hard here to get that nose deeper.

AND THE Fox News Channel's "Lips & Ears" gossip show should be interested to hear that Tom Cruise watches it. I told Tom I'd done an on-air bit last week about "Valkyrie," asking why it can't be accepted in the same way World War II movies by Tom Hanks, Clint Eastwood and Francis Ford Coppola are viewed.

Tom said, "Yes, I'm aware of what you said on air. I saw it, and I appreciate it." So, "Lips & Ears," you are being heard.

What he saw was a clip some SeaOrg person gave him because he probably gets everything that mentions his name to see if he can sue them, or in case someone actually says something nice about him. Oh, and the reason they are treating his movie differently is because it sucks.

Rumer Willis Got Another Job

Only with Rumer Willis would these kinds of roles make news. Rumer is going to be in an episode of Army Wives over on Lifetime. She is going to play the wife of a soldier injured in Iraq. To all the other actors and actresses in the world, these kinds of roles are used as building blocks to bigger things and also as a paycheck so they can afford rent.

Now, I didn't see House Bunny so I don't know if Rumer is any good in it at all. Maybe she is. Maybe she leaves so stunned at her talent that you walk out of the movies in a daze. If so, then I admire her for doing what every other actor does and using these small bit parts to learn her craft. If, on the other hand she sucked balls in House Bunny and has no hope of ever amounting to anything other than a familial oddity, then it kind of ticks me off that she is taking these smaller roles for herself and depriving someone else of a paycheck. She doesn't need the money and if she knows she sucks, then she shouldn't let producers offer her roles simply for the publicity she will bring, while depriving someone else who is good, but doesn't have famous parents.

As for the acting gene. You know, Bruce Willis is a star, but he only has one character. One. Demi Moore. She is a little more versatile but I don't think any of us would say she is one of the best actresses of this generation. Anyway, I know lots and lots of you watch Army Wives, and Rumer's episode is supposed to air on October 12th.

No Breast Feeding For Jessica Alba

Apparently Jessica Alba has decided she couldn't be bothered with breast feeding. Normally I wouldn't care about writing about it, but didn't she make a big deal while she was pregnant about how she was going to spend time with the baby and was looking forward to breast feeding and that her career was going to come second, and blah, blah, blah. Well I guess that promise lasted just as long as it took for the ink to dry in whatever magazine it was printed in.

Since giving birth, the actress has done her very best to lose as much weight as possible, as quickly as possible to get back to work. She has also been enjoying getting her drink on. Most recently at the DNC in Denver she enjoyed the special Svedka martini so much that she had several. I guess someone at the convention was just as concerned as I am about a breast feeding mom getting hammered on vodka martinis, but according to my spy, Jessica was said to have muttered something like, "breast feeding just isn't my thing."
Hey, it isn't for a lot of women, and I don't have a problem with that. I do have a problem though when you make yourself out to be some kind of saint and that you are telling everyone while you are pregnant how it is the right thing to do and she can't wait to do it, and it's part of being a mother. Then, right after the birth, you leave the hospital, collect your baby picture check from the tabloids, drop off the kid with a nanny and then head off drinking and getting back on with your life.

A Pregnancy Test Might Be A Good Idea

I have never heard of Virginia Couperie but she is the latest woman who has probably been impregnated by Salma Hayek's ex boyfriend Francois-Henri Pinault. Virginia is a French equestrian, so forgive me if I am not up to date on who they all are. I know it is shameful and you expect me to know everyone in the world, but unfortunately it just isn't possible. I do try though.

Apparently the happy couple were photographed on Francois' yacht, swimming, getting naked and then going on shore to eat dinner. I am presuming the pair did manage to put clothes on before dinner, but with Francois you just never know. His baby makers seem to be ready to go off at all times so he may have just decided to keep everyone naked for the sake of expediency. He is a billionaire after all. Time is money and all that.

I wonder if the guy just keeps a stash of pregnancy tests wherever he goes, and has the instructions enlarged and framed and placed in every bathroom he owns. I will give him credit for one thing. He waits until after the woman gives birth before he dumps them. OK, not so much credit. At this point, I'm wondering why any woman would be with him, and then I remember the whole billionaire thing.

David Duchovny Enjoys Sex

Actually I guess the headline is wrong, because a true sex addict wouldn't really enjoy the sex act because he would always be thinking about the next time and the next time. Michael Douglas found the key to dealing with sex addiction is finding someone 30 years younger than you who will literally maim him and then kill him if he cheats. You think it is the money in the pre-nup? Hell no. If he wanted he could make that in a year or two of working. It is Catherine Zeta Jones and what she has said to him, or the way she cuts carrots. All I know is that Michael has been meek and in a corner since she came into his life.

Eric Benet? Please. He probably is still screwing everything he can find. I'm not sure he is actually an addict. I think he might just be a dog. There is a difference. Take for an example, someone who has not admitted to being a sex addict, like Peter Cook. I mean come on. $40,000 a year on porn is a sex addict. He may not have called himself one, but it's what he is. Sex addiction was not as prevalent before the internet. There were just as many, but it was much harder to "use." The internet is like crack to sex addicts.

A sex addict goes through a 12 step program just like AA, and so even though it is sex, and I think a lot of married guys, use it as an excuse when busted, I have to give David Duchovny the benefit of the doubt. That being said, I wouldn't make fun of him if he went in for drug addiction and I won't make fun of him just because his addiction is sex. Now, not making light of his situation does not preclude me from revealing some blind items he was in which deal with his sex issues. I just need to read through them first because some involve other people as well.

First And Last Date

Carrie Underwood has been taking a lot of crap lately and deservedly so. I mean come on, she has got to be one of the most self absorbed, narcissistic people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. She loves herself so much that she cries when she has to go to sleep.

So, if you are Carrie and you take this crap, what do you do? You scream and yell at your manager, agent, publicists and Simon Cowell and tell them to get Michael Phelps' phone number. I mean why not right? Most famous man in the world right now. Then you start texting Michael and leading him on and saying that they should hook up in Nashville when he gets done doing what he is doing. When he agrees, then one of Carrie's people lets the National Enquirer know, who then report it breathlessly.

Please. This is just another put up job in a long line of put up jobs. I think the actual genre kind of jumped the shark at the Lisa Marie/Michael Jackson thing, and it has been moving fairly steadily downhill since. Actually, now that I think a moment, it is a put up job in the sense that Carrie knows it is fake, but Michael might think it is real. So, she is going to have to fake it for awhile. Not that she has a problem doing that.

Let me go out on a limb here. Michael Phelps will find some hottie to date but it will not be Carrie Underwood. Oh, sure she will hang out with him for a bit because she is a fame whore and will stick to him while he is in the spotlight. By about Christmas or when she exhausts all the magazine covers it will be bye bye Michael and back to loving herself to the point where I think she probably has had sex with her mirror.

Ted C Blind Item

Quite surprisingly, life is unfortunately ugly right now for Ooma Offspring, talent-less terror 'bout town. See, certain Biz dealings can be a tough swallow for the mucho rich, wannabe actress, not that you'd even know it.

O2 is very much the black sheep of her quasi-famous clan, as she's not exactly as gifted as the rest of her fam members, certainly not as fetching. Celebrated life is cruel! And sometimes poor Double O has to bullishly bear the brunt of nasty-ass jokes, but the latest one is happening behind the scenes and behind 'Ma's back (until now of course).

O.O. has been gearing up to go on a publicity tour for her latest pro endeavor, which is coming out soon, so like any "star" on a project, the corporation usually fronts the green for its talent's hair and makeup.

Natch, Ooma's peeps have been insisting on the best of the best in necessary beautifying professionals, and the suits are very reluctant to dish out the moola required. In their opinion, Offspring's not worth the makeover dough because she's just too unfortunate looking, and no Ken Paves is going to change that (highly biased, admittedly) fact.

So sad, 'cause members of O's equally famous extended fam are all devastatingly gorge with solid acting careers to match. What's a wannabe to do? (Pay for it yourself, sister, like, hello?)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Today's Blind Items

#1 - Like father, like daughter? Despite being a couple of years underage for drinking, this B- list actress from a top rated network drama kept downing shot after shot after shot after shot at a party this weekend.

#2 - At the same party, these two related celebutantes shared a few joints with their bad girl hero. Of course the bad girl hero is now about 15 years removed from her height of fame, but hey, she has another chance again starting next week. I'm trying to think if the trio have slept with any of the same people.

Random Photos Part One

I think that it kind of goes without saying that if you get Ellen Burstyn and Susan Sarandon in the same photo, there is some kind of imperative to make sure they get the top spot.
Dredg - Aschaffenburg, Germany

Hey, the photo made me smile, and apparently Brendan Fraser made Luke Ford smile as well.
Wow. I don't think it is Alexis' good looks that are getting the guys, so I hope he didn't get that peen chopped off.
Ashanti - Los Angeles
There just seems like there is something off about Annette Bening. Love her, but something seems different.
Speaking of different, Jennifer Lopez goes for the Beyonce look.

I think this is one of the first pap photos of Jonah Hill I have seen.
You know. I told myself I was not going to post any more photos of Heidi and Spencer, but come on. How can you pass up this shot which you know they planned in advance.
George Daniels - Chicago
Venice in late summer is incredible. Throw in Eva Herzigova and it just gets that much better.
I have come to the conclusion, that while Michael Jackson is in face a pervert, I don't think he is as crazy as people think. I mean I think he acts that way so he can go shopping in a tuxedo jacket and pajamas. Wouldn't we all like to do that? With him it is normal.

Maria Conchita Alonso is the one who should be ashamed. Maybe she is going to act out Gladiator at home later or something.
Lee England Jr. - Chicago
Jesse Spencer in his first appearance to the photos. I think.
Jaclyn Smith at the Shear Genius party celebrating the winner. Notice I didn't say the winner just in case you are going to try and watch the whole season on TiVo or something.

Do you think Nina Garcia signs all her letters and checks and autographs with an "N" like that?

Just because I like typing in the name Nas. Sure, I type in nasty, but never got to type in Nas.
The gratuitous Olympians of the day today belong to Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh.
Where else are you going to see Matthew Modine and Angela Bassett?
Mario Lopez and his friends out and about looking for homeless people to torture.
Whether you see Rashida Jones after being away for two days or two weeks, this is the reaction you get.

Didn't realize that Rihanna was 8 feet tall. Guess she won't be marrying Tom Cruise.
This is the best I have seen Rebecca Gayheart look in a very long time.
"I f**ked the entire crew and all they gave me was this hat."
I think it has been like two weeks without Neil Patrick Harris in the photos. That is much too long.
It has also been forever since I had Stacy Keibler in here. Of course it has also been forever since she had a career, so I think we are even.

If I only have to see Star Jones every few months I can handle it. If I had to actually live with her or something, I would probably die.
Because of the delicate condition of Samaire Armstrong, and because I am happy to see her, I will at this time refrain from commenting on what she is wearing.
Hey Rachael. I heard Oprah gets pretty pissed when you say that to her.
Rachel Leigh Cook and Alan Cumming. I wonder how many orgasm jokes he hears a day?
It's a Zooey.

And this is why Whitney Cummings doesn't get to walk very many red carpets.
Over or Under. Valentino's shoes $5000.
Interesting choice here. Anne Hathaway and Tim Daly. Apparently they got along very well.
Because he let her borrow his pants.


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