Friday, August 14, 2009

Four For Friday - Bad Drug Behavior

#1 - This A list director passed out during a premiere of his latest movie. When people tried to help him out of the theatre they noticed he had wet himself and his seat. Nice.

#2 - This very good looking C+ list movie actor who doesn't work as much as you would think was in a convenience store. There were two people in line in front of him and after waiting patiently for about two seconds pushed them out of the way and said he needed to go first. When the clerk told him he would have to wait his turn, our actor screamed and yelled and then walked out. He opened the door so hard that it broke off its hinges.

#3 - This isn't so much of an example as bad drug behavior but it is drug related. This A list country music singer with a sterling reputation is also a huge meth dealer. Well actually it is his road manager that does the dealing. Our singer just gets the majority of the profits.

#4 - This B+ reality star and sometime actress has her very own diet plan. She is so pleased with it she wanted to try and market it. She actually approached her agent and said, "I have a great diet plan and I want to sell it." "What is it?" the agent asked. "It's this pill called Adderall. I take it and then I am not hungry for days."

Random Photos Part One

Allen Shellenberger - RIP
By far my favorite picture of the day. If you don't know the story, the couple posing in the picture were at Banff and set the timer on their camera. Right when the picture was being taken this squirrel popped up.
Alyson Hannigan walking her baby. Well, presumably her baby is in there. She might just be doing it for some type of stroller pushing competition or to carry her groceries.
Anne Hathaway on the set of her new movie.
It also stars Jessica Alba.
Ashley Tisdale and her acid washed jeans. Really? Are they back, because I have a pair in size 54 that I could be rocking instead of my Zubazz this weekend.
For three very famous comics there aren't a lot of smiles here. Double chins yes. Smiles, no.
Bonnie Raitt & Taj Mahal - New York
So is this a new pap game? Lower the air pressure in tires? Yesterday was Christina Ricci and today it is Danni Minogue.
Ellen Pompeo must be due pretty soon.
Presumably not due is George Clooney's girlfriend. George is suing some Italian magazines for publishing photos of a 13 year old girl naked and changing her clothes in one of his bedrooms.
When the husband wins the name my baby game, you get names like Gunner Wright.
Joan Collins is 76 and is working it.
Just think. Women are quitting their jobs so they can have sex with this guy.
John Stamos in New York. He and Gina Gershon have been having dinner together frequently.
Has anyone ever seen Justin Timberlake on a motorcycle before?
Katie Holmes in Australia.
Kellan Lutz getting ready for a remake of Quicksilver. All he needs now is a bike.
Katie Price's new boyfriend playing with her kids.
And exploiting them.
Katy Perry - Melbourne
I actually like this picture of Megan Fox.
With all of the attention and hype that Inglourious Basterds gets, Melanie Laurent doesn't get any love. Here you go Melanie.
Matthew Morrison getting ready for the new season of Glee.
Michael Phelps got into a car accident. No one was hurt, and no alcohol was involved and it wasn't even his fault, yet at last count about 30 newspapers, tabloids and gossip sites were reporting it.
Some randomness. Martin Sheen, Nancy Sinatra and Elliott Gould.
Paula Abdul at The Ivy. I know I have bad mouthed their food in the past but I had some ginger curry mussels a few weeks ago that were amazing.
Renee doesn't seem too happy does she? This was for an Elle photoshoot.

Your Turn

Last night for dinner my mom was out of the house and so my dad and I decided to make the same thing we always make when she is gone. Two pounds of pasta with a steak on the side. Oh, and lots of bread. Yes, I know, I know, it's fattening. I think we have gone way past the warning stage with me by now though. But, as I suffered through my heartburn last night I said to myself I need some new ideas for food and who better for that, than my readers. So, today, I would love for you to share your favorite recipe and rest assured that my father and I will go through each of them over the next few months. Vegan, vegetarian, meat-a-tarian, whatever you have. Desserts, salads, dips, or anything else are all appreciated.

John Hughes, Jean Louisa Kelly, Uncle Buck & GOOP Nightmares

Last week after John Hughes passed away, it affected me more than I thought it would. I mean this was the man who had written movies that changed the way I thought and lived. He had characters with whom I could identify. Plus, the soundtracks of some of those movies I still listen to and know all the words to and instantly take me back to that movie or time in my life.
The great thing about him though was that he also appealed to the masses. There is not really any teen angst in Planes, Trains and Automobiles or Home Alone, but they were movies that became more about the plot and character development than CGI or special effects. It showed me that popcorn movies could still have great writing and characters and it is something missing from many mainstream movies today. There are great movies today with great characters but, they are for the most part confined to limited releases and have to search them out.
So, after his death, I decided to have a marathon of sorts and the first movie I chose was Uncle Buck. To me it combines the best of John Hughes movies. It has his classic humor, but also showed his ability to understand what teenagers are thinking and teaches life lessons without being preachy or judgmental.

Well of course as soon as I started watching it, and saw the first scene with the character Tia played by Jean Louisa Kelly I had to pick up the phone and give her a call. I loved Jean in that movie. She was perfect for the part. She was a high school junior who, immediately before she was cast had moved to a new city and a new school and so it wasn’t hard for her to identify with the emotions and issues Tia was facing in her life.
When we finally connected on the phone, Jean was with her family out in Delaware and had been in Maryland which of course led to a discussion of Maryland blue crabs and the best beaches and whether a man my size should really be seen in public in just a bathing suit. She had just gone on vacation after finishing a Hallmark Channel movie which comes out at Christmas. The movie is called The Christmas Gift. A Hallmark Christmas movie? Better bring the tissues. I forgot to ask her what it’s like filming a Christmas movie in the middle of 100 degree days in July. I also forgot to ask her if her mom would let me use her beach house for a few days. I just want to be prepared because I know Gwyneth Paltrow is going to come back from vacation and she is going to write in GOOP about some cleanse I need to do which involves salt water, sand and chocolate and is sure to make me feel like a S’more. I can feel it.
Jean has been in so many movies and television shows since Uncle Buck and was probably more famous as a teenager for singing in Mr. Holland’s Opus than for her role in Uncle Buck. Most people know her now from her role as Kim Warner on Yes Dear, but, it all started for her back with John Hughes and Uncle Buck.

I wanted to know everything I had not heard before but started by asking Jean about her experience with John. You have to know that this was Jean’s first movie. She didn’t know what a movie experience was supposed to be like. She told me when she first read the script for Uncle Buck her first response was that it was honest. I had never thought about it like that before, but that summarizes his writing style. It was honest. She remembers him being very patient and very willing to take the time to get things correct without ever getting angry. In one of the most memorable scenes of the movie, Macaulay Culkin asks John Candy’s character a series of questions. Macaulay just couldn’t get the rhythm correct but Hughes never got frustrated. The problem was finally solved when Jean turned the questions into a song with the right kind of rhythm.
Another thing she remembered was the close relationship John Hughes had with John Candy. Hughes would let the cameras roll after each John Candy scene and let him come up with four or five different lines or improv another way to do the scene. Hughes trusted Candy, and Jean said it was obvious Hughes trusted all his actors and had faith they would deliver. I would say that over the years his trust was well rewarded.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which recently single celeb wasn’t so faithful to her last boyfriend? She’d been sleeping with a big-name hip-hop artist for the last four months of her relationship.

Michael Vick Got A Job - Pink Isn't Happy

For the past few weeks I would watch the news wires everyday and pray that my favorite football team wouldn't sign Michael Vick. I didn't want my team to be known as the one who did sign him. No reporter all year will ask any question without asking about Michael Vick. No story about the team will be without a reference to Michael Vick. So, it was with great relief yesterday that I saw he signed with the Eagles. Except of course for the fans of Philadelphia. All year when you tell people that you are a fan of the Eagles, they will invariably say, "Oh, you are the team that gave that dog killer a job."

It won't matter how well the team does, all the conversation will be about Michael Vick. As an owner it shows that you really don't care about your fans. I have not read the Philadelphia papers this morning, but I can't imagine there are too many positive articles. Pink, who is from Philadelphia had this to say on her Twitter.

"wow. michael vick in MY hometown, Philly. of all the places. I hope the fans tear him to pieces like his beloved dogs."

It's a possibility.

Jesus. Oops. Sorry Omarosa

Donald Trump's few remaining hairs must have stood straight up at hearing this news. Omarosa is headed to the seminary and going to become a minister. This must be back to school week for celebrities. First there was Jerry O'Connell and now this. Beginning this week, Omarosa is going to spend the next two years getting her doctor of ministry degree. So, now not only will you have to call her Dr. Omarosa but she could also be your minister. She would be the first minister I have known who has fake breasts. Oh, except for that porn star who became a minister. Oh wait she wasn't a porn star, she was a hooker. That's right. Hooker's For Jesus. My bad. Maybe she and Omarosa can go on tour together. I know Omarosa wasn't a hooker, but it would still be an interesting show.

A spokesperson for the school Omarosa is attending said, "She has expressed a calling in her life and it is our opportunity to provide leadership and guidance as she makes a transformation. We're excited about her coming to school at UTS."

I actually thought Omarosa had a new show that was airing this fall on some network, but maybe that fell through. It doesn't sound like she will have time for both. At first I thought this might be some type of publicity stunt for her new show, but than I thought you are really testing fate if you exploit the ministry for publicity. Hello televangelists.

It turns out she is doing this because she did some work for the poor and homeless in Haiti and wanted to do more.

Did Kangaroo Jack Help Him On His LSAT?

The biggest topic around the office yesterday was not whether I would be drunk again by the end of the day but rather Jerry O'Connell enrolling in law school. Beginning this week Jerry started attending classes at Southwestern Law School. He will be attending part-time and at night.

The big question everyone asked here was why? Jerry is 35, which is probably close to the average age for night students at the school, but no one could figure out why he would subject himself to the torture of law school when he could make much more money doing a sequel of Kangaroo Jack than he could in several years of practicing law. Normally law school takes three years to complete but that is for a full-time student. A student going part time is probably going to finish in about 4 to 4.5 years. Also, just because you are going at night doesn't mean the classes are going to change or that you get to study less. He has brand new twins and although he doesn't currently have a day job this just seems like a really odd choice.

I know his last television series bombed but it isn't like he hasn't had success in the past. He could be attending because down the road he wants to help people with his degree and do good things and that would certainly be noble. He could be attending because acting is boring to him now and he wants more education. Again, that is very noble but I am not sure he quite understands just how hard law school is and how many hours he will have to study. There were some stories earlier in the week that said he was going to be staying at home with the kids while Rebecca Romijn went back to work. Umm, if he is going to try and study and take care of twins at the same time it won't be long before they have a nanny or two.

I wish him well, I just don't understand it.

Ukraine's Got Talent Winner Kseniya Simonova

So last night I stumbled across this video of Kseniya Simonova who was the winner of Ukraine's Got Talent. It is over 8 minutes long and I figured I would get bored after a minute or two. Not even close. While the rest of the world generally goes for something less dramatic with their Got Talent winners, the Ukraine decided this woman had the most talent and I agree. She is a sand artist and using a light box and music she draws images of how World War 2 affected the people in the Ukraine. It's pretty damn incredible. I realize many of you don't have 8 minutes right now to watch, but I encourage you to watch it when you have time. It's amazing and that is an understatement.

Want Ratings? Call The Cops

So, last night in front of TLC camera crews, Kate Gosselin paid a surprise visit to her house. Allegedly she came over because she had concerns over one of the babysitters Jon Gosselin was using. Well if it makes her feel any better, I am pretty sure the babysitter in question was the one Jon was having sex with last week so I doubt she was actually watching the children. Unless of course we want to count Jon as a child. Judges? Yes, he is a child.

Instead of going into the house to have an argument they apparently chose to argue in public over a fence. The reports say Kate was locked out of her house. I say the TLC producers were telling her to go around back to the fence so neighbors would be curious and call the cops. The cops came but no ones know who called them.

The ratings have been down and this is a way for TLC to jack them up again. Don't believe me? OK, well ask yourself these questions. It was Jon's time with the children. Kate knows the producers are there so even if she doesn't like one particular sitter why does she drive all the way from Maryland to confront Jon? Phones don't work obviously. Look how she is dressed in the above photo. Great for cameras. Not so great for middle of the night visits to check on the safety of your children. Obviously too distraught to go back home to Maryland she decides to check into the Days Inn. Notice how whatever pap photos you see of the checking in process are taken from the outside. Not one pap took one from inside? Paps know not to try and take photos inside a store in LA because they will get thrown out and not get calls from employees the next time a celebrity comes into a store. What would stop them from going into a Days Inn lobby? What do they care if a night manager there gets upset at them for a few seconds? I'm guessing producers stopped them from getting inside.

In other Gosselin end of the world news, Jon has found a way to make a living. The MGM Grand is paying Jon a fee to host a pool party and bikini contest the weekend of August 29th at Wet Republic. Other notable "celebrities" to get paid for being there are Audrina Patridge, Mario Lopez and Lindsay Lohan. Better get your tickets early.

Ted C Blind Item

Handsome enough, Fruzzy Tuna-Stench has never really had much of a problem with the ladies—that's because they usually don't tip each other off! Take a recent conquest of Fruzzy's, a babe who was so delighted to have found herself in Mr. Tuna-Stench's Hollywood Hills home, she wanted to squeal! Oh, my! And they'd only been dating for a bit, she thought, and he's already taken her into his private and storied man-quarters, such an achievement!

So there they are, the gorgeous brown-locked luscious one and her very, very famous bed partner, writhing away on the famous actor's oversize mattress. Tops off? Check. Jewelry off? Check. Then off fly the undies, too, so hot!

And there before our lucky gal lies the utterly nude, quasi-sculpted bod of Mr. Fruzzy...

Whose endowment our darling sex-horned babe cannot wait to devour and jump on—and dine away she does, impressive, horny girl! Only problem is…Mr. Fruzzy's private parts aren't exactly responding in kind. Something's wrong. Our sexed-out source wonders, Is it me? As she's a knockout above all knockouts, highly unlikely.

Disappointed with the fun foreplay stuff, Fruzzy's bed partner decides to just jump ahead to the main course, and go ahead and let daddy have his entrée right away, maybe he's just not a nooky appetizer kinda guy? Just strictly a meat and potatoes dude maybe? So they assume the position. And, well, nothin's happenin' in that department, either.

Alas, Fruzzy just can't get it up, and the amorous evening of promising love bites is a bust. Utterly depressed, our disappointed babe watches as Fruzzy, still naked, gets up and walk into his den, where he stays for some time. So she decides to follow him, wondering what's up.

And guess who's sitting at a computer Googling himself without a stitch on? Best part of all? Finally something had arisen—and it wasn't just the poor girl's irritation.

And It Ain't: Bradley Cooper, Stephen Moyer, John Mayer

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Today's Blind Items

Although it pains me to admit it I guess this aging television actress is B list. It is more because of her show than any real acting talent on her part. I mean it is a hit television show. Anyway, our actress has child/ren and because of that our actress found herself at a recent concert by this tweener star. Of course they went backstage. The actress and the tweener started flirting and the next thing you know they were having sex together in her hotel room. Luckily the next morning when the child/ren came into the room, the couple wasn't actually having sex, but still, very awkward. The tweener can't stop telling everyone about that night. And no it wasn't any of the Jonas Brothers. They are all pure. Haha (Nelson from The Simpson's voice)

Random Photos Part One

Les Paul - RIP
Big Brother & The Holding Company - New York
Brooks & Dunn - Nashville
Basically if you don't buy Carol Alt's book she is going to kick your ass.
Whenever I mention Countess Luann my first thought is that I am at some transvestite show and that Joan Rivers and Cher are going to come out and a medley.
Although I admire Christina Ricci for doing her own car repairs, would it be rude of me to say that the half pulled back hair style might not be the best look for her.
Dane Cook - Still not funny.
Will Ferrell - Still funny, but really, really needs a comeback.
David Beckham shows you what he has. Oh, and he can touch his feet too.
Mena Suvari really needs to find better people to pose next to.
I think Denise went for the setting on the tanning spray that says: WARNING people may not see you crossing the street at night if you are this dark.
Apparently that woman with George Hamilton last week who wasn't inclined to wear a bra is, in fact his wife. Oh, and he has a kid too. Hope he doesn't grow up and marry Shannen Doherty also.
Since Holly Madison probably won't get to Cannes, she figured a casino floor would work to show off what she would wear.
At this point, I think if you have a garage party and promise to show an episode of Mad Men on the door, Jon Hamm would show up for it. He is pretty much relentless when it comes to promoting the show.
More Jack. Can I just say how much I have loved these pictures the past few weeks and how all of them have been with his kids and their friends. I'm not saying he probably hasn't hit on the friends, but he has really enjoyed himself and it shows. Good for him.
With as a-holey as Piven is, you really want him to look not so good, and more Kid Rock-ish.
Lighten up Jay-Z, it's an engagement party.
I guess Kanye and Amber are still together.
LL Cool J on the set of NCIS Los Angeles. Yeah, because what television needs is another initial show in yet another city.
You know what? I have seen Mischa Barton look a whole lot worse when she is wearing makeup. She looks good for a 40 year old.
Speaking of 40, just how old is Morley Safer. Has he hit 100 yet?
No Doubt has released some photos from their tour. This is backstage at Atlantic City a few months ago.
The New York Times ran a story today about how pot belly's are cool again and abs of steel are out. Let me know when obese is the new hot and I will pose for it.
Speaking of hot. Hello, Rachel McAdams.
Brad Pitt even took a photo of her.
While Eric Bana posed with his wife.
Ron Livingston just didn't care.
And just in case you have any Eric Bana/Brad Pitt fantasies, here you go.
It has been forever since Paige Davis was in the photos.
Shia got his cast off.
Stewie was outed.
The Little Death - New York
How skinny can one person get and still stand?


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