Friday, May 02, 2008

Four For Friday

In case you didn't notice, there is a little addition to Random Photos today. It concerns a little section you would normally see on Fridays within its very own post. You're smart. I'm sure you will figure it out.

#1 - This former B list television actress on a very long running show and now C list is married with child(ren) and allegedly very happy. She may not be so happy when she discovers that her husband has got their housekeeper's daughter pregnant.

#2 - This foreign born actress is the classic B lister. Lots of films, attractive and even a hit network television show. She works often and seemingly has the perfect life. So, what's wrong? Besides being one of the bigger b**ches around, she can't find a guy to stick with her longer than a month or two because she has the herp. Probably not the biggest deal in the world but it seems she has constant outbreaks, and that really isn't very attractive at all.

#3 - So why would you leave a hit show and a great part? Well if you ask this actress/model with a unique role on that hit show, she will give you a completely different reason than the producers. She will say to explore new opportunities. The producers will say that someone in a supporting role shouldn't be the diva who thinks the show revolves around her and when she can fit work into her schedule.

#4 - This co-star of an upcoming movie that every woman wants to see (generally) needs to be really careful about her new boyfriend. She thinks he's the greatest and is totally falling in love with him. The problem is that he already has a boyfriend.

Your Turn

This week in Your Turn, I am going to plug the music of Fay, who I have plugged before. This time though, she has a brand new video entitled Give It To Me Straight that had its world premiere earlier this week. Of course I should probably be bitter since I wasn't invited to the premiere, but when have you ever known me to bitter about anything. I am attaching the "comedic cut" of the video and I promise that if you stick around until the end of the video, you will probably pee your pants a little. Especially if you loved the show Las Vegas. Some photos from the premiere, and the video.
Fay and Flawless
Jill-Michele Melean, Vanessa Marcil and Suzanne Whang

Random Photos Part One

This top spot is more for Cameron Diaz than Ashton Kutcher. Ashton has gone way up lately in the good guy category as from what I understand he did another hour session with fans the other day. Sadly, I don't think his wife would ever do that. Cameron looked great and in almost every photo looked to be having a great time.
Kind of reminds me when Sean Young went all over Hollywood dressed as Catwoman. Wow that is an ugly outfit.

One of the funniest guys ever. Billy Connolly.
So, let me get this straight in my head. This is the premiere of the new Ashton Kutcher film who is sleeping with Demi Moore who used? to sleep with Bruce Willis who used to sleep with Brooke Burns. Now, if Brooke Burns would sleep with Brittany Murphy we could just make this one big happy circle.
The lets have sex on the red carpet photo of the week. This one is Ali Hillis who seems to be going for it with her "guest."
If it is a movie about Vegas or the mob, you have to have Dennis Farina. It just wouldn't be the same.

Diablo Cody gets one last look on Random Photos before she probably fades away.
Daniel Craig old photo huh? Well from now on, Daniel is going to be code for FFF.
Remember Faran from yesterday and his suit fabric. This is the exact same fabric. It's like Cynthia Nixon mugged him on the street, cut the suit from his body and stayed up all night making this. The bow is from his tie.
Cristian de la Fuente doesn't want to disappoint all those DWTS fans so he is going to go ahead and try and play through the pain just for you. Oh, and the sympathy votes.
Joss Stone actually looks great. This has got to be a first.

Jay Mohr was doing a charity gig last night and I think it is great he did. But, the reason he is on here is I want to talk about Action. I know the series is old, but I finally just got around to watching the entire set of episodes and I thought it was great until the character died. Well, yeah suck it if you hadn't got to that point yet. In the episode he died, I really said wtf? I stopped watching right then and didn't watch the last two episodes. If you think I should, then let me know. And in case you do want to watch it, Netflix has it on watch instantly. I don't know if it had already been canceled at that point and they just went ahead and did it, or if they wrote themselves into a corner, but it really sucked they did it.
Suck it in Ross. Suck it in.
I know Amelia Earhart was rather mannish. Fine. I can accept that, but does Hilary Swank really need to portray another character that will further diminish her femininity in the eyes of the public. When they make the movie about the pregnant man, you just know Hilary is going to want to play the role.
It must be Friday and I must be in a good mood because Eva Longoria actually looks not ugly. Not hot, but not ugly.
Leelee Sobieski wearing lots of clothes. First it was Mariah and now Leelee. I think the world is going to end. Can't remember the last time Leelee was not dressed like a dominatrix.

LeAnn Rimes - Austin
Laura Linney doing theatre is a great thing. If you get the chance you have to see her.
Happy Birthday Lily Allen. She actually looks kissable. Someone must have spiked my liquor with more liquor or something. Can't believe I just said Lily looks kissable.
Kal Penn. I'm not going to kiss him, but if he agrees to do another Harold and Kumar film I will.

When is the last time any site gave Rob Corddry any love? Well here you go Rob.

When is the last time any of you gave love to Parminder Nagra? I don't know either but I am definitely volunteering.
This is like favorites day. Olivia Wilde is amazing.
Neil Diamond - New York
Mudcrutch - Los Angeles
Is this the same outfit he wore the other day? Can someone find Vince Vaughn some pastels or something?

See Vince. Here are your pastels and springy summer colors. Sigourney Weaver will help you out.
Punky!!! In a duvet cover.
Seal - Los Angeles

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which actress will hit the roof when she finds out her arch-rival has been cast opposite her in a primetime TV show? The babe in question has been feuding with the actress for years...

When You Were 19 Would You Have Had Sex With A 13 Year Old?

For those of you who read this and are not football fans (no, not soccer) the NFL draft was held last weekend. In the 7th round of the draft, a player was taken by the Buffalo Bills. His name is Demetrius Bell.

The thing that makes Demetrius worth talking about is the fact that his father is Karl Malone. Karl Malone was one of the most successful NBA players of all time. When Karl Malone attended Louisiana Tech, and was a 19 year old college sophomore he began having sex with Demetrius' mother. When she got pregnant with Demetrius she was 13 years old.

Yes, it was statutory rape, but at the time in Louisiana the parents could decide whether or not to press charges and chose not to do so. I have no idea why they didn't, but the fact is that a star college basketball player was having sex with and got a 13 year old girl pregnant. Was she even a teenager when they started having sex?

When I read the article that pm sent me and that was first reported by the Buffalo News I was almost as disgusted as when I read about the dad abusing his kid for 24 years. People ask what is wrong with the Miley Cyrus photos. I don't think it is the actual photos themselves as much as it is what the people who control her life are trying to convey. Do they want 25 year old guys to think she is sexy and hot? Do they want guys thinking of her in a sexual way? Although none of them will probably get with Miley Cyrus, what about the other 15 year old girls who now think it is perfectly acceptable to dress like Miley and to flash their bra to the world. Who is going to protect those girls from the guy who can't get with Miley but sure has a chance with this other teenage girl. That to me is the issue, and why we need to do a better job of protecting our youth.

As for Karl Malone, Bell was never told Karl Malone was his father until after he graduated from high school. When he first met Malone, Karl said, that it was too late for Karl to be his father and that Demetrius would have to earn his money on his own. Nice first thing to say dad. Just think the reason that your kid wants to know his dad is so he can mooch money off of you.

“All of that’s behind me right now,” Bell said, referring to the absence of his biological father. “I feel good I made it this far. Nothing against him, but I feel good at this time. If he would’ve been there, yeah, it would’ve been good. But if not, it’s even better. Everything is a plus right now.”

Good for you Demetrius. I hope you make the team and do something your dad never did. Win a championship.

Katie Holmes Says A Bad Word

In an interview with Vanity Fair, Katie Holmes talks about her family. I guess she is referring to Tom Cruise and Suri, although it isn't really clear from the quote. Apparently she has taken offense at some of the things written about her over the past few years.

"I do know what is being said in the press. This is my family, and I do care about them. The stories are not okay. It eats away at me. Some of the crap that's out there - it's really frustrating the amount of s**t that's out there!"

Well at least we know why she appears to have been losing weight. The stories are eating away at her, and slowly the pieces of paper and internet pages have been devouring her body. She should turn it into a diet book and she could make millions. Just 300 pages of negative words and every person who reads it would suddenly be sticks. No more diets that don't work or drinking shakes instead of meals. All you have to do is read negative words and the pounds just melt away.

Now, I'm no expert, but I don't think anything negative has been said about Suri. I mean there has been the whole debate about whether she is actually Tom's baby or the product of L. Ron Hubbard's frozen sperm or just the result of a relationship before Tom. But no one has actually ever said anything bad about Suri herself. Likewise about Katie. Oh, people might say she needs to run away quickly or that she is a Jennifer Aniston when it comes to the success of films, but nothing against her personally for actually being married to Tom or the fact that many people think she is doing it for money or something else.

Now as for her husband. I think he has kind of brought it upon himself. There isn't anything I or anyone else needs to write or say to make him look like an ass. He does an astounding job of that completely on his own.

One way Katie could clear up all the s**t that has been written would be for her to sit down with a real journalist who was allowed to ask as many questions about as many topics as they wanted. Put it all on tape so there are no misunderstandings and let her clear up any misconceptions she wants to correct. Until she does something like that, people are going to speculate and people are going to write about the information that is available.

So, stop whining, get off your carousel and do an interview. And no, Kneepads Magazine, Diane Sawyer and Larry King don't count. Either does Oprah.

I'm 15 And Miserable

Could Miley Cyrus look any more like a stereotypical 15 year old? Disney got her in the rolled up shorts and yellow shoes with the knock kneed awe shucks kind of look that had executives grinning from ear to ear. Miley has the look on her face that say I have to be here and am getting paid a great deal of money but if it were up to me I would be kicking Minnie's ass right here.

Hannah Montana is a brand and right now Disney is just trying to save that brand as best they can while they decide what is going to happen in the future. To me, the photo episodes of the past few months have shown that someone in Miley's camp knows this Disney thing isn't going to last forever, and so they have been gradually getting American families used to the fact that Miley is almost Jamie Lynn Spears' age and therefore will be getting pregnant soon. That would be just jaw dropping wouldn't it?

I love in the bottom photo how the photo is supposed to look random and candid, yet somehow every color of the rainbow is represented in the photo. When Disney wants to do politically correct and to suck up to parents they sure know how to do it well. Combine these photos with Miley being banned from the press line at an event last night and you have the perfect spin.

Look for some kind of Kneepad Magazine Double Issue featuring Miley at home, visiting kids at the hospital, playing free shows, attending church, playing touch football with the Jonas Brothers, talking about homework, supporting the military, a USO tour and anything else that can get the machine back on track.

I Hate Being A Sheep -- Baa

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey allegedly got married in the Bahamas. Whoo hoo. I'm thrilled. Honestly, I really don't care. Nick Cannon is the kind of guy who has been trading up one girlfriend after another and he finally got to Mariah. However, if Oprah calls, Mariah will be in the gutter faster than she can say humidifier.

They should both get along great because they only care about themselves and so since they will always be talking about themselves, they won't realize they are bored to death with each other. I can't imagine there will ever be a question uttered by either of them that will require a response from the other. Day and night it will just be one 24 hour monologue punctuated with the odd rhetorical question and a flogging of an assistant.

Separate bedrooms for sure, because Mariah basically sleeps in a shower which cannot be pleasant for anyone but her. I'm just shocked that either one of them could think about someone other than themselves to actually even agree to get married. I know they didn't have to plan anything. Mariah just bellowed and it all got done. Nick would have bellowed, but since he has about 1/1000 of the income Mariah does, no one is going to listen to his bellows.

Nick and Mariah have been dating for about a month. I guess he saw her whenever he didn't have to see Selita Eubanks. Oh, you didn't know he was still seeing Selita Eubanks while dating Mariah? You don't think he's going to stop seeing Selita now that he's married do you?

4 Weeks Instead Of 14

After years and years of dodging any efforts to get him behind bars, one judge had enough and sentenced Pete Doherty to 14 weeks in jail. They must have misunderstood the judge over at the jail because Pete is getting out after just 4 weeks.

Legislators in the UK such as Ann Widdecombe who said that Pete's sentence was long overdue have made it clear they intend to try and change the laws which allows someone to knock off two-thirds of their sentence.

"Nobody should come out that early.”

Well, nobody should come out that early, but it is what it is. You know the guy in Austria who abused his daughter for 24 years? The MOST he can be sentenced for is 15 years and with good behavior should be out in about 7-8 years. So, I don't think anyone expected Pete to stay in jail much longer. I mean the guy is probably desperate for a fix that doesn't involve him having sex with guys, and he has a bunch of summer concerts lined up that he has to get ready to play. I mean, who needs rehab or prison when you can go out there and make some money. Drugs cost money so have to earn it somewhere.

Ted C Blind Item

As I’m off to get hitched, thought it would be terribly appropriate to give you a little salacious het-on-het action. I mean, why not, more straights than fruits get married, right? Oh, but could that just be because it’s only legal for you guys? Never mind. This isn’t a political soap bitch; it’s a Blind Vice, and as intent as I was to bring on the hetero horniness, Vadge Fly-Trap interfered. Or at least her gal-hungry paws did.

Vadge, really, is just as ballsy as most of the guys she’s simply clobbered in the Biz. More so, I’d say. She’s sorta like that Spitzer dude in fact—so obviously gunnin’ for the girls, while (stupidly) thinking nobody’ll notice. Hardly!

While Ms. VFT rakes in the major dough for her TV and movie appearances, much of the world may indeed have fallen in love with her, but I’m tellin’ ya, those worshippers certainly don’t include some rich-ass Bev Hills babes.

“She was sitting next to me, and her hand kept brushing up against my leg!” revealed one 30ish, single, Chanel-suited gal (who doesn’t like gals, at least, not in that way), regarding a luncheon party she attended with Ms. Fly-Trap. “She was actually squeezing my thigh at one point,” continued the guy-lovin’ lady, “and I, very directly, just had to ask her to stop it.”

How very polite. What’s the matter with a good ol’ bitch-slap to the overly painted puss, huh? I mean, if a guy had done that to some broad who didn’t want it, it’s safe to assume his pucker would be sucker-punched, essentially.

Oh, completely forgot. People dare not cross Vadge Fly-Trap, that’s why. She is, in T-town, what Tom Cruise used to be: megapowered and poop-proof. But not for very much longer.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Today's Blind Items

#1 - That marriage didn't last long. You know the B+ list actress on the hit network drama who got married and said it would last forever. Heck, the fake marriage from the same show is going to last longer than this real one. How long do you have to stay married in order not to return wedding gifts?

#2 - Want to know what makes a great assistant? When your married B+ film actress but better known for a great television role drops her stash on the ground outside the airport, and the assistant doesn't even miss a beat, swoops down to the ground and drops inside her own purse. Must have been one hell of a party they had before they went through security. Unless they the assistant tried to get it through? That would be an assistant worthy of a hall of fame. Trouble is her boss is so mean, she probably wouldn't even share.

Random Photos Part One

I feel like I'm on an 80's red carpet. Steve Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy. Ally Sheedy looks better than she has in a really long time. She might just be glad that someone invited her to something and that there was someone there she knew. The other day when I posted that photo of Holland Taylor, I was wondering to myself what she and other actors her age think of people from The Hills and other reality programs making more in a year than she probably has her entire career, and being more famous. It must suck, and if I were her, I would be vindictive and vengeful and slash all their tires on the way out at night.
I think everyone knows I am a Smashing Pumpkins fan, but Billy Corgan going for the whole Pepe Le Pew look just doesn't really work. I guess it could be a mime. Maybe he was working for tips earlier. If it was a red sweater I would go for gondola worker in Venice.
This is why Random Photos exists. For combinations such as Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr.
Looks like Emmanuelle Chriqui listened to me and went back to what makes her spectacular. OK, we all know she didn't listen to me, but I need those small inner victories.
See, when Jack Black gets his wife pregnant, she stops nagging him about his weight for 9 months. The problem is she will lose her after birth, and Jack will probably just get larger and Hawaiian shirts will be the only thing that fits.

I'm not too proud to say it. Jessica Alba looks really good here. Here. Not everywhere or everytime. In fact most of the time she doesn't look that great. But this time, under these circumstances, and in this specific photo she looks good.
Another 80's flashback. No, not Heidi's ass. Was she even popular in the 80's? She would have been 12. Perfect for Roger Clemens but not for most adults. I'm talking about Jordache jeans. I still don't know how anyone even managed to take a full breath in the 80's with the jeans being so tight. We needed the grunge of the 90's just to let our body parts shift back to normal.
Gwyneth Paltrow looks like she is wearing a dyed blue Elvis jumpsuit.
Faran Tahir's suit is making me really dizzy. Look at it long enough and you can see the picture.
Madonna - New York City

After this photo Justin Timberlake and Madonna went out and got drunk. Nothing like getting drunk with a 50 year old mother of 3 who has left her husband and the three kids back at home.
Looks like the hair club for men just found their new spokesperson. Does Jude Law need the work? That is his sister I believe. Maybe he could borrow some of her hair and just glue it on his head in the patchy spots.
Do you think Jennifer Grey still can't sleep at night thinking about that nose job? I would have turned to porn and drink. Oh, wait. I did that and I haven't even had a nose job. Would like one though. I think that a nose job would make people overlook the fact I am 200 pounds overweight and bald.
Jewel - Boston

I just figured that since Sean Combs was at the premiere and he is a celebrity I should throw him up here. I really can't think of anything to say about him other than the fact that maybe the wardrobe department from Saturday Night Fever called and they want their clothes back. Lame, but really I had nothing else to work with there.
Ummm. Black Power?
Pigeon Detectives - London
Yes, it is just for a television show, but does anyone think it is wise to give Naomi Campbell a bat?
Besides Nazanin Boniadi being a great actress and absolutely stunning she also is into more causes than a group of vegans at Berkeley. I'm actually surprised she has time for anything else.
Like I wouldn't include a guy with the name Wass. If you have a crazy name it is one of the best ways to get in Random Photos. That and be someone hot of either sex or making a funny expression or wearing something awful or someone who is easy to pick on, or someone I have a crush on or someone who bought me a drink, or someone who I want to have buy me a drink, or really just about anyone really has a chance. Hell, I'll put all of you in here. That would be a great Random Photos.

Not such a great photo. Of course it could be the fact that 20 years of drinking and partying contributed to that bad photo.
Tracey Ullman everyone. You know she must be kicking herself every night for not getting a piece of that crazy little cartoon she put on her original Fox show. What was the name of that cartoon? Hmmm. Oh yeah, The Simpsons.
The Futureheads - London
I couldn't resist. From L to R. Erin Wasson (who incidentally in 40 photos didn't smile in any of them) Marisa Miller, Heidi Klum, and Mini Anden.


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