Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Mackenzie Phillips Now Says Sex With Dad Wasn't Consensual

While making the rounds with Dr. Drew to plug Celebrity Rehab, Mackenzie Phillips took the opportunity to tell the world that although she had previously insisted that sex with her father was consensual she now says it was not consensual. When asked on CNN why she changed her story she said, "As I was writing the book, I thought, This word, it kept sitting wrong with me, but I used it for lack of a better word. Since then, I've been schooled by incest survivors all across the world that there really is no such thing as consensual incest, due to the inherent power a parent has over a child. And so I wouldn't necessarily call it a consensual relationship at this time."

I agree that sex with a parent is never consensual. I also see in that last sentence that she is still holding back for whatever reason. Part of me wishes she would stop talking about it because I can't decide if she is doing it to help others or to make money and get some fame. The other part of me says maybe it will help people by her making such a private issue public.

55 comments:

Maja With a J said...

I just feel so sorry for her. I think she's had a really fucked up life and was the victim of so much abuse by the adults around her...not just her father, but also some of the men he knew, and other men she met.

Melody the First said...

I just finished reading her book. I think she held to the "consensual" line in a misguided defense of her father (possibly for her family's sake). When you read the book, it's very clear that he drugged her with powerful narcotics before every "consensual sex act". It was as "consensual" as a victim of a date rape drug.

I have complete sympathy for her. She had a monster for a father. Even though I'm an agnostic, I hope there is a hell just so he can be roasting in it.

Unknown said...

All that just to promote her book. What a loser.

m said...

I support Mackenzie Phillips in every way. She corrected her usage of the word. That's the only reason for the latest coverage. I think it's sad that people think she's lying or trying to get attention. Just more of our society's "blame the victim" mentality.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

I'm with Harriet and Melody on this. It's tragic.

Becki said...

I wonder if her Father really did molest her. I am sure he abused her but molested her? I don't know. All I know is,if my Dad had sex with me,I would not be telling the world about it,I would be to mortified,unless I was offered a boatload of money to tell my story.

tallulah b said...

I agree, there's no such thing as consensual incest . I hope this realization helps her a little bit on her road to recover from her horrible upbringing.

I don't see how any of this makes her, the victim, a "loser". She didn't choose to have a shithead for a father.

jax said...

which is exactly WHY she's coming forward, Becki. Victims of abuse and incest for far too long have been shamed into being quiet because of the stigma and taboo of the subject.

we as a society need to change our feelings towards people courageous enough to tell their story.

I 100% support Mackenzie,all the pieces fit.

Unknown said...

^
that's the only interesting thing she has to tell.
Would she have got a book deal and appearances on Oprah and Larry King without that story? Never.

RocketQueen said...
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RocketQueen said...

agree with those sympathetic comments above.
Seriously, Michaela? A "loser"? Wow.

Anonymous said...

I support her too. Too often the victims of abuse feel too much shame and responsibility for the abuser's actions, and they don't speak up. It was not easy for her to tell it. And of course it was not consensual. Child abuse just isn't.

Kimstyle said...

OFF TPOIC!

Ok guys, I'm not in any way trying to drum up drama or anything. I simply want some questions answered honestly. I've been reading CDAN for the last 3 years almost every day. I've read rumblings of the writer not really being Ent, yadda yadda..but always rolled my eyes and called bullshit. Lately, I have to be honest, I do notice a HUGE difference in writing style, and most of it does sound like it's written by a woman. Like I said said, I don't care, but am I missing something? Like the Grammys fashion report sounded NOTHING like I would have read even a year ago. Was Adrianna doing it. I'm just wondering if I'm jumping to conclusions when it might have been explained. Thanks guys, sorry to break conversation...

jax said...

Michaela,what a sad and cynical way to look at the world.

jax said...

Kim, it's a blog,not the caramilk secret.

RocketQueen said...

lol Jax!

Sporky said...

This "blame the victim" mentality really needs to stop. I'm SURE if Mackenzie had had a choice, she wouldn't have had sex with her dad.

Unknown said...

Well, I have no sympathy and respect for a grown up woman who has sex with her father for ten years and sells her story after his death, so we can only hear her side of the story, not his.

yolknkl; said...

yes, the blame the victim stuff does need to stop.

people blame victims because it makes them feel safe, like it would never happen to them. but guess what, IT CAN!! if not your father raping you, then, something horrible. people who blame victims are bullies.

as far as mckenzie is concerned, she's very brave and I'm sure has touched millions of incest victims. and drug addicts.

sunnyside1213 said...

As we all said before, she never had a chance.

mooshki said...

Kimstyle, the "GRAMMY FASHION" post was from Adrianna's column. Everything else is pure Enty. Not that the doubters are going to take my word for it, lol.

Melody the First said...

Everyone knew what he had done to his daughter. Owen Elliot (Cass Elliot's daughter) knew. Chynna Phillips knew. Even she says her mother is lying about not knowing.

You don't get someone with her level of addiction and *not* have child abuse involved somewhere.

The book isn't just about incest -- in fact that entire topic takes up about a third of a chapter. The book is about being at the center of a hurricane as a child and trying to hold on tightly (only one example being when her father abandoned her and her brother for three days in England by themselves ... without money) then goes on about her struggles with drugs.

It's a damned good book and I support her unreservedly.

looserdude said...

Did anyone see her on William Shatner's interview program, Shatner's Raw Nerve? WOW. Intense. I wonder about Mackenzie's sisters, Chynna and Bijou, Bijou especially who left home at a very early age and lived a very outrageous lifestyle for a long time. Were they victims of abuse, too?

lutefisk said...

The whole thing is plain sad. I don't know if her story is true or not, but if it is, I hope she finds peace now. It is difficult to believe a father could do this too his child, but we see all the craziness going on out there, & just because John Phillips was a talented individual doesn't mean he wasn't capable of incest.

Lady J said...

I feel sorry for Mackenzie because she has been fucked up for so long and I do believe that something did happen to her when she was younger. But with that being said, the fact that she came out with any of this after her father was dead and buried really makes me a little weary ONLY because the person she is accusing is NOT here to defend themselves. I am not saying she is lying I am just saying if all of this was going on why did it take so long for it to come out. Especially if so many others knew about it. Again I am not saying she is lying but it does make you wonder.

Tranquil Serenity said...

@Michaela - So, for arguments sake, let's assume her father is alive and she comes out with this story and he denies it, because you know he would.. what then? You still don't believe her? You assume she's still full of crap?

Do you not realize the messed up emotional state a person has to be in to claim something like this, even if it's not true?

If you're living a life that allows you the opportunity to never have to deal with something this terrible, good for you. Not everyone has that option. Some people are molested or abused and don't feel safe enough to talk about it until their abuser is gone. Some people feel a lifelong need to protect them and assume that somehow it's their own fault.

Just because her father isn't alive doesn't make her any less damaged, and I really don't understand those people who can hear a story like this and feel no sympathy whatsoever. Regardless of whether or not you believe the entire story.

I pray you never find yourself in a situation where someone refuses to believe you, simply because you didn't share the information on THEIR time table. The only person who matters in this scenario is Mackenzie. If she didn't feel comfortable sharing this before his death, that's up to HER to decide.

And you act like her father would somehow admit to it if he were still here, which is absolute crap. There is no way he'd say "yes, she's absolutely right. I plied her with drugs and took full advantage of her for years!" So what then? Would you still refuse to believe her?

I just really don't understand some people.

And let me also say this: I'm glad she's talking about it. True or not. Whether it ever really happened to her, it's happened to someone and it's about time this country realizes what a problem this really is. I am a thirty year old woman who has endured years of emotional pain because of the molestation I received at the hands of my father, but regardless of any of it.. I am a survivor. We need more survivors. We need more people willing to talk about such an ugly topic, willing to shine a light on it so the victims realize it's not their fault.. and if M. Phillips is the one who's going to get this out in the open, so be it.

Someone needs to fight for those who are too scared to fight for themselves, and if this helps even one person find the strength to admit the things they've had to endure, it's worth it.

So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Unknown said...

I believe Mackenzie and I feel bad for her. I hope she heals and finds peace.

Sporky said...

*hugs Tranquil Moonlight*

Lady J said...

@Tranquil

Sorry you went through what you did with your father. No one deserves to be abused, especially children at the hands of their parents. You are right, you are a SURVIVOR and so is Makenzie, hopefully she can continue to get support and finally find a way to pull her life together.

ardleighstreet said...

Tranquil, thank you for sharing your story.

I believe her too. She has every right to tell her story. If she helps one other person come to a resolution with the hell they suffered then she did the right thing.

My sisters friend was molested by her step-daddy. Her mother knew what was going on and allowed it to happen because ---- (get this) Step-bastard paid the bills. He did this to her and two of her step-sisters. My sisters friend has ALWAYS been vocal about what he did to her. As she says, she was not the monster with the dirty secret. She was just his victim.

altar boy said...

Watch Celebrity Rehab -- it's on now with lots of reruns so anyone can catch up. I didn't know what to make of Mackenzie Philips before but now I have a tremendous amount of respect for her and how she is dealing with everything -- I might even call it classy. Of course the show doesn't represent a total reality, but you can get a feel for her character.

RocketQueen said...

Well said, Tranquil Moonlight. Hugs!

Lioness70 said...

(((Tranquil)))

I believed her when the book first came out, and I still believe her. I really don't believe anyone would come out with that OR make it up just for publicity. That's sick, heavy stuff. And F these guys for doing these things to her. I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to a Mamas & Papas (or even a Stones) song again without feeling slightly nauseous.

Sunnyhorse said...

Best wishes to you, Tranquil Moonlight. You have my admiration.

Butterfly said...

When one of us goes public, we save many. I am grateful that she had the courage to tell her story, and the courage to understand what really happened to her.

CarolMR said...

I tend to believe her, but I really wish she had told the world when her father was still alive so we could hear his side of the story.

Melody the First said...

The reason she wrote the book was due to her relapse. She had been sober for ten years when her father died. Her relapse happened shortly after. Therefore, his death was necessary for the book to be written. It's not a "tell all" about her father's sexual abuse of her. That's only one aspect of it.

Christina said...

OK, what would John Phillips' side of the story be that matters so much? I don't need to know his side any more than I feel compelled to learn the side of any other RAPIST.

By ALL accounts the man was a terrible human being whose abuse did not begin or end with one daughter or one spectrum of acts. Why is some sort of additional burden of proof required here?

Beyond that, if learning these ugly facts about John and Mackenzie Phillips is disturbing to you, that's certainly not Mackenzie's responsibility. You can choose to ignore the coverage. I managed to ignore Haiti earthquake coverage for a week because it caused me to sob uncontrollably if I thought about it too much. And I think that got a bit more coverage than this.

feraltart said...

Dear Tranquil Moonlight,
Thank you for having the courage to speak out about your experience. I can tell from how you write that you are a survivor and have great strength. One of my friends was abused by a step-uncle. The family believed her but didn't want to do anything about it because of the 'scandal' that it would bring to them. It has totally f**ked her up. I do not understand how a parent can allow a child to be brutalised and not rip the SOB who did it apart with their bare hands.

Best wishes to everyone who has survived childhood (and all other types) of abuse.

m said...

When Keith Richard says you're out of control, you're out of control (he said that waaay back then about John Phillips).

Methinks Michelle - er, "Michaela" - doth protest too much.

I'm glad most everyone here agrees about Mac and wishes her well.

Unknown said...

I have no doubt her father was a pig. but, with mckenzie, she is this person that comes out of the woodwork every 8 years or so with some tragic, warped story. Sometimes, you don't know what to believe, like the little boy that cried wolf. If this happened, I feel bad for her, but like I said, she has come out with alot of other questionable stuff and it seems to be for the money, the fame. I think at this point, she should go quiet and take her problems to a therapist. and work on her problems with her family, if she wants to straighten that out. Because, whether I, or anyone believes her, so what? Her father is dead, so it is not like they are going to court or we are taking sides.

Mango said...

Mackenzie's story is so tragic that I don't even know what to say. As lop-sided as it sounds, I must agree with the poster who said that even if this didn't happen to her, it happened to others and she is speaking for them.

I was never a victim, but my sister (who was beautiful) was groped and fondled by a neighbor, an uncle by marriage, and our godfather (yes, good Catholic that he was...) To the best of my knowledge it never went any further than that, but even so, that is VILE.
We always think that being beautiful is an advantage but sometimes it is not.

evergrey said...

I believe MacKenzie and I feel angry at all those out there who want to "revictimize" her for speaking out. After her book came out and she spoke about the incest, there was a huge surge in calls to rape/incest hotlines asking for help. Just the simple act of telling her story allows her to reach a huge audience who may never have had the courage or encouragement to take a step in the right direction to stop the abuse and /or get help.

AND>>> about those nay-sayers...if Mac is making this up then way isn't there some legal backlash from a John Phillips estate or family member claiming libel or slander??? Hmmm?? Answer me that.

@Tranquil Moonlight - bigs hugs from me.

sprinkles said...
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Choice said...

Anybody who grew up with a hippy drug taking dad like John Phillips deserves some leeway. She claimed ages ago, even before the incest story that she had a rotten childhood. Is it any wonder she was so screwed up herself and became a druggie?
http://nicole-kidman-journey.blogspot.com/

Kimstyle said...

@ jax
absolutely, you're right!! It's not the caramilk secret!!! I guessI should just keep taking "some guys" word for it! Who cares about how it gets in there (thats what she said, I know 2 years ago). Or maybe Ent (who I love) could not rely on commenters to defend him, and actually address it himself? The problem is; I actually KNOW how they get that caramel in there, but what I DONT know is who I've been loving all these years. I'm all about honest anonymous blogs, but I'm sorry, as one loyal reader to the next, I don't buy it right now...

Kimstyle said...

Nice to know it was Adrianna's fashion post, Mooshki!. but was that addressed?!??! I want you to know, I really do love enty, but when he uses another writer, I want to be notified :) I'm sorry, but I could have gotten that fashion write-up on E!.... I'm looking for the Enty-magic I've loved for the last three years :)

Justa JobSeeker said...

KImstyle...the tag at the bottom of the post was....Adrianna Costa.

Besides, can you even fathom Adrianna having a crush on a Spanish princess?

That said, I am kind of with Mooshki on this, This is for kicks, it's not Woodward and Bernstein.

As for Mackenzie, I am with the poster who said something akin to "the message is important". It is. This wasn't just someone's Dad, it was a man that many considered to be legendary.

Jasmine said...

When I was 12 my friends mother had a boarder stay with them to earn extra money for bills. He would expose himself to me and my friend as well as occasionally fondle us. The crazy thing was I had and still have a great relationship with my mother, i mean we talked about everything, including sex. I never told her. I look back on it now and am so stunned that it never even dawned on me to tell her or ask her for help. I think many ppl look at stories like this and think what would they do now from an adult perspective and we all forget that as kids you feel very isolated and helpless and defensless, probably especially with someone in your family that you are told emphatically you can trust. Jesus, what a mindfuck to go through that.
I dont know her that well, I dont know her dad or his music, but I know that even if it took her to be 100 yrs old to tell her tale we should support her and that is that.

Jasmine said...

my friend is still really messed up btw, he was still living with them when i moved away and i dont know what else he may have done to her. a mutual friend told me she got into drugs and slept around and has a bad eating disorder. maybe she heard this story told so publicly and it helped her realize that even famous ppl can have fucked up things happen to them and survive it. So yeah, i agree that even if she is lying to make a buck at least this tabboo subject is out there hopefully making ppl like my childhood friend feel not so alone.

lmnop123 said...
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lmnop123 said...

I believe the fact that MacKenzie had sex with her father is indisputable. Whether or not he coerced her into to doing is what people are probably getting hung up on which is really irrelevant.

If it was a child and an adult you expect for the adult to have some restraint. When it is a parent and child it is the responsibility of the parent to have restraint even if the child is an adult.

No one wants to believe that a parent willing has sex with their child so it's so much easier to call the child a liar or say they are exaggerating.

It's no wonder victims of abuse don't speak up and are mentally tormented for the rest of their lives.

Thank you to all of the non supporters of victims. You've been a big help.

I believe MacKenzie and wish her full mental recovery from the abuse.

@traquil, I wish you the same. Thanks for speaking up. You're very courageous. :)

Tranquil Serenity said...

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and support. I did not share my experience in an effort to get gain attention, but I am humbled and grateful for the responses. This is an absolutely awesome group of people, and I'm honored to be a small part of that.

To all the others who have shared their personal experiences, thank you! As survivors, together we stand strong in the face of evil, and each and every person counts!

You guys are amazing! *HUGS*

Unknown said...

Mackenzie may have been afraid of how her father would react. I was abused by my brother, twelve years older than me. Even now, I would never confront him about it or tell our parents. Someone who's about to be exposed as a child molester would do anything to shut up their victims. My brother was also physically abusive to me, and I literally have no idea how he would react if I brought up the abuse. Would he kill me? I don't know. He clearly had no compunction about fucking up my life, so why would this be different?

Sorry for the OT. But just saying, I completely understand why Mackenzie would wait until her father was dead to out him as a sexual predator.

Christina said...

Oh V...I'm so sorry for your ordeal. I hope you are getting help.

I think among all sexual abuse victims the thought is: if I didn't punch, scream, yell, kick, whatever, to get away, then I must be at least partly responsible for what happened and should keep it to myself. It's a very pernicious line of thought.

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