Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Blind Items Revealed

May 11, 2012

Today I wanted to tell you the history of this A list movie actress. She would never do television. Wait. She would never do scripted television. Anyway, our actress has had lots of high profile boyfriends and every one of them has said they have never felt as free as the day they were finally free of the actress. One actor said it was quite possibly the happiest day of his life and he had to act sad at some premiere and all he wanted to do was shout and scream. Our actress is a clinger. A big clinger. As in if she decides to date you then you are going to be with her until you do something so egregious that she has not choice but to leave you. You can't break up with her. It does not work that way. One boyfriend tried to break up and then went and shot some movie on the other side of the world. Third day there, the actress showed up at his hotel room door with a suitcase saying she was there for a visit. One actor wanted to break up with the actress so much that he cheated on her. She got upset but the actress was not going to leave. He then got the idea of getting caught while cheating. She broke up with him after that but would still call him everyday and talk to him. That one was before caller i.d.

One actor who lived with the actress said that he never asked her to move in but that she just kept bringing stuff over and he never noticed and then one day he realized she was there all the time. It took him years to get away from her. Even in her current long term relationship, her significant other knows he can do anything he wants and that she is never going to leave him. He has done a lot and even been caught, but she just will not go anywhere. They can go weeks without seeing each other but she calls. All the time. All day. Texts all day too. Hundreds of times a day. Her significant other hired an assistant just to respond to the texts. Apparently his life is so much easier since he thought of it. One week of telling the assistant what to say in the texts and now one year later, the actress is none the wiser. Of course the assistant has got to see plenty of naked photos of the actress. She is big photo sender. She is also a big hypochondriac. She wonders aloud about everything she eats and how it will affect her and would like your opinion too. She has very few friends because they are subject to the same type of clingy. Not very many people can deal with that kind of constant barrage of attention and neediness.


Gwyneth Paltrow

120 comments:

LeGrange said...

Hahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Unknown said...

I can totally see this, but she did Glee

Erika said...

Ummmm. Glee, dude.

Anonymous said...

Whoa--didn't see that one coming! (Seriously, not sarcasm!)

Amy in MI said...

Yeah, Glee was my first thought.. Then BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

anita_mark said...

Unless that should've said "unscripted," she did Glee so I don't buy it.

Unknown said...

This made my night.

AnonPLS said...

Who are the actors? Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck?

olbaldy77 said...

Other side of the world - Brad Pitt in Kundun?

Getting caught - Ben Aflac! ?

M said...

Oh goodness. This is a big one.

a non a miss said...

Lmfao. I thought Cam but this is so much better.

sbalb said...

Wow, that is awesome, did anyone guess her???? But, yeah, what about Glee? See what I mean about Enty and his "doesn't do television"comments?

Agent**It said...

Tie :
Cindy said...
Why does Paltrow come to mind?
10:14 AM

CaliGirlinVA said...
Gwyneth?
10:14 AM

Note- a lot of people 'yelled' at Entwood re "Glee" in the original comments.

strawberrygirl said...

Poor Chris. No wonder he tours so much.

michelelala said...

This was the item that brought me out of the lurking... I thought it was Cameron Diaz. Great reveal.

a non a miss said...

I'm sure they let her adlib on Glee. That show really isn't known for its aaron sorkin type dialogue, ya know?

LeGrange said...

Good guess!

parissucksliterally said...

Glee is scripted TV, so what the hell?

surfer said...

Wow, that's an interesting one. I thought for sure it was Cameron Diaz.

Two Time Mama said...

Whoa.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Brad filmed Seven Years In Tibet in 96. I can just imagine Gweneth showing up. "Just happened to be in the um...other side of the world."

noyfb said...

ROTFLMAO WOW I wonder how Beyonce put up with it then again I'm sure she's just as annoying

timebob said...

lol @strawberrygirl I was going to say the same thing. I have hated her since she stole the lead in Shakespeare in Love from Winona Ryder and forced Harvey Weinstein to give her the role. She is a piece of goopy work.

Stacey Charter said...

I think Enty always throws in something that is screwy hence the "tv" part...AND I just used hence... I have been reading these damn reveals too long today LOL. Oh and BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA at this being the Goopster. Love it!

msgirl said...

Hahaha! Hahaha! Oh good grief....It's often the most confident obnoxious My Life Is Great person who is the most insecure.

Funny about Chris hiring an asst. But he does seem sincere in loving her.....

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

LOVE. IT.

Elizabeth said...

I remember when she hooked up with Chris, she followed him on tour everywhere.

I was also reminded of Kate Hudson who I think set her sights on having a Brit and once she found one, just never let him get away and promptly got pregnant to be sure she had him.

Agent**It said...

@timebob

"she stole the lead in Shakespeare in Love from Winona Ryder and forced Harvey Weinstein to give her the role"

I did not know this !

lilo723 said...

Gwyneth has always annoyed me, with her snobby-ness. Like when she kept calling Anthony Hopkins, Antony. But I actually kind of liked her on Glee.

angie said...

Huh? Significant other? She's been married to Chris for nearly 10 years now. And just the other day at a Coldplay concert, Chris left the stage, meandered all through the audience until he found Gweneth, and gave her a kiss.

I really think he sincerely cares about her more than this bind indicates.

it took forever said...

Holy shit!!!

Unknown said...

I hope Michael K read this, he would laugh so hard!! haha

Little Miss Type A said...

This is a fantastic reveal! Enty, thank you!

anita_mark said...

I went through the photos for that day and no Gwyneth or Brad/Ben/Chris. But there was a Lionel Richie pic.

Is the Shakespeare in Love thing true or is it something someone said once and it snowballed. And if so, did she steal the role? Did Wynona have it? Unless she's whining about a perceived injustice, Wynona isn't that skilled an actress.

Not A Ninny said...

Enty can make mistakes, like forgetting Goop's turn on Glee. Or it was a deliberate fudge.

Stacey Charter said...

LOL @jason blue eyes. Exactly!

minerpoteet said...

What @LeGrange said with some added BWAHHAHS
I'm one who cannot stand her.
If she's in anything for longer than a minute....I'm out.
Still haven't gotten enough anti-nausea pills to watch IM2.

LeGrange said...

Ok, I googled and waited and didnt work so now is the time to finally ask you guys... Why people call her Goop and what does it mean?!

msgirl said...

Oh and it could be that her scenes in Glee weren't exactly to script... she could have "rewritten" them to her way, and whashisname let her. It
's not as uncommon as you think.

Or else Enty fudged!

timebob said...

Somehow I don't think Enty is a Glee watcher and would have no clue she was on it. Even though her role did cause that Lohan scandal Dina threatened to sue over. I guess throwing Lindsay a bone and had her on the show to make amends.

ghost said...

Hahahaha, does not surprise me in the slightest that it's Goopy.

Did anyone see the video Michael K posted a day or so ago, of Gwyneth's douchey husband running from the stage at his douchey band's douchey concert, into the crowd to give her a kiss? Not even a worthwhile kiss, a peck. She reacted like a 12 year old girl at a Bieber concert. Blech.

(In case you can't tell, I really hate Coldplay. Heh.)

izz said...

I thought she was supposed to have broken Brad or possibly Ben's heart by cheating on him

misspoppypants said...

I thought this was Vivica Fox after the 'not scripted tv' because she was sooo freaking good in Curb. I think Glee is partly unscripted because Britney S. Pierce gets to adlib her corny lines sometimes, it's been reported. GP would never have occurred to me. Huh.

xoApril said...

Wow what a fail Enty.

Miz said...

She freaks me out. Like full on, would run a mile freaks me out.

She *does* seem the sort of needy that would make her best friend's hospital stay (where said friend was dangerously ill) be more about how she was lost without her and how dare she not put her name on the allowed family visitor list!

Just me then?

it took forever said...

That was good

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Calls and texts all day? This is what Tom Cruise does when he starts dating a new victim...er, woman.

timebob said...

@Agent in the 90's Winona and Gwyneth were best friends. Gwyneth was over Winona's place and read the script for Shakespeare in Love which Winona either had the lead or was going after it hard.

Gwyneth wanted the part for herself and contacted Harvey Weinstein and negotiated for the part. Needless to say Winona and Gwyneth are no longer friends.

mooshki said...

LeGrange, GOOP is the title of her e-newsletter where she tells us all how awesome her life is and what we need to do to try to be as awesome as her.

Frufra said...

@LeGrange - it's the name of her "lifestyle blog".

lilo723 said...

LeGrange, this is from Goop, her website....goop is a weekly publication delivered straight to your inbox offering exclusive limited edition collaborations, recipes, travel notes, shopping ideas and wellness tips for you, your wardrobe and your home. Subscribe to goop for first views of the collection and more.
I totally agree with you @ghost, about Coldplay. They are annoying. Well mainly I think Chris is just annoying. He is so arrogant.

Agent**It said...

@Timebomb, thanks and Happy 4th..

Barton Fink said...

Gwyneth Paltrow is on a shortlist of mine entitled Actors Whose Presence in a Film Is a Dealbreaker. I won't see films with her in them, not since the awful sliding-door one.

parissucksliterally said...

If I remember correctly, Enty has POSTED Gwyneth on Glee HERE when she made fun of Blowhan, and how Glee was getting sued. So, he knows she has been on the show.

thenaughtyvicar said...

Oh, wow! I never thought this one was Gwyneth. Wow.

RenoBlondee said...

I wonder how true these reveals are.
Either way, they are tons of fun!

angie said...

I think the story here is greatly exaggerated, just like referring to Diana Ross in an earlier blind as a "struggling C list celeb" didn't even come close to describing her. I think that when whoever writes these blinds doesn't like the celeb, they lay it on thick and then some.

ghost said...

lilo723 I can't even explain my irrational, intense hatred for Coldplay. So I'll allow this gif of Noel Fielding to express it for me:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwi77aVzTy1qivp12o1_500.gif

:)

LeGrange said...

Oh dear... Hahahahahahaha!! Thanks guys, but kinda wish I didnt ask that now....

Crazy ass girls...

n said...

I think enty deliberately makes mistakes in his blind items so if/when their protagonists decide to sue his a$$, he can claim the item is not about them based on this little details.

gee-gee said...

Finally! This is my Independence Day gift. It has all been worth it. Everything else is forgiven. Thank you. I love you all.

lilo723 said...

ghost, LOL! I so wish we had a like button we could press on these comments. :) Chris is kind of one of those people I would like to punch in the face and I don't even know why. I just know I've never liked him.

Judith said...

So, how did Brad get rid of her?

Kiki said...

Why do people call her the Goopster? Does anyone know the origin behind that nickname?

MISCH said...

Ben Affleck said after they broke up he didn't even like her.....
I think she cheated on Brad...

Miguela said...

Damn, how awkward must it have been for Brad when she showed up at Kundun. Just y'know. I happened to be 3 continents over and thought I'd stop by to see how things were going. That's one obsessive bitch, I wish I had the money pull that sort of crazy off.

westwingwolf said...

I think the 'unscripted' line is mocking Glee when word came out that episodes were unwritten or written on the fly when filming began. Something about actors getting scripts for the 2nd season finale only moments before filming began.

First time posting btw. Hello!

MISCH said...

Wynona loaned Goopie her apartment when she was off filming...Goopie saw the Shakespere script in a pile and went after it...you know the old saying No good deed goes unpunished...

Noob said...

Um. To those who think Enty forgot GP was on Glee, he's making fun of the fact that Glee sucks and their writers are just horrible. Hence, "She would never do [real] scripted television."

mooshki said...

I think I figured it out - I think Enty is suggesting that she only did the part on Glee because she was trying to become a singer. So it wasn't the "script" that lured her, but the songs.

Unknown said...

At a film festival dinner party many years ago, a very drunk Winona Ryder announced to all at our table that Gwyneth had stolen the lead in Shakespeare in Love from her by blowing Weinstein.

urban chaos said...

This is the gift (err, blind) that keeps giving.
All of Goopy's insufferable airs.. I'd believe she's masking some major insecurities.

__-__=__ said...

Wow! No wonder GP is annoying. Poor thing. Chris sounds like a saint. Great reveal Enty! Thanks!!

CantHaveMyPurse said...

I find this funny...she saunters all over Hollywood and celelbrities like everyone loves her and wants her opinion on everything. To think that a lot of them are wise to her and run from her makes me laugh and laugh. When snobs think their poo doesn't stink, it probably stinks the most. Case in point.

trouble bubble said...

Didn't she also do some travelling-cooking show awhile ago? Or is that also considered non-scripted TV?

Farm Girl Pink... said...

hahahahahahaha! I love it!

Out of all of the reveals today... this one is the BEST one!

Sunny said...

Nothing can make me hate on Gwenneth. I have always found her endearing, and when I hear bad stuff about her I just go to my happy place. La la la la la (We have the same birthday - is this a Libra thing?)

Farm Girl Pink... said...

"At a film festival dinner party many years ago, a very drunk Winona Ryder announced to all at our table that Gwyneth had stolen the lead in Shakespeare in Love from her by blowing Weinstein."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LMAO! Geez this is the blind that keeps on giving!

Sunny said...

oops. We're a day apart but close enough

Sherry said...

Trouble: Yeah she did a show with that fat guy and they traveled around Spain..I forget his name and I just saw him on IronChef last night. Damn beer!
Also Goop stands for Gwyneth Obnoxious Opinions Paltrow..I'm pretty sure.

lunarkitty said...

so basically, the BI clues may or may not be actual clues to the BI.

timebob said...

the show she did was for the Food Network with Mario Battelli tooling around Spain so she could impress everyone with her fluent spanish. She brings pretentious to a whole new level.

cindy said...

She has a web site called G.O.O.P.. I'm not sure what each letter stands for. Probably something pretentious, like her.

NK said...

Grrrreat reveal. Kinda love and hate goopster all in one. Am shocked she is so insecure. But am laughing inside too.

g.strathmore said...

Okay, I've been lurking for a while and had to speak up about people saying they thought Gwyneth broke Brad's heart. I used to date a guy who worked very close to Brad (can't give his name). Anyway, towards the end of Brad's and Gwyneth's relationship, my boyfriend told me that Brad could barely stand her. Any time they were going to do something or go somewhere fun or interesting, my boyfriend would say, "Do you want me to call Gwyneth?" or "Is Gwyneth coming?" Brad would respond with disgust. I think I remember, "Hell no" and "that ice queen" being two of the responses.

Margaux said...

This doesn't really seem believable to me.

Road said...

I remember seeing Brad walking down Broadway with a young, hot girl on his arm, when he was supposedly dating Gwyneth. I figured their days were numbered. He didn't appear to care if anyone saw him with a young hot thing.

Henriette said...

I LOVE this one! The GOOPster is a clingon! In way I also admire her though. I mean that is a major trick to just push your way into someone's life like that. She must have no pride.

MadLyb said...

Best reveal ever!

Jennifer H. said...

I love this one!

Don't care for the clues, though. If the clues don't mean anything, then what's the point? The idea this stuff is "fudged" on purpose to prevent law suits or accurate guesses is ridiculous if they are REVEALED.

If clues aren't going to be accurate and "boyfriend" really means husband, and "no scripted TV" means "scripted TV," then why even go into that much detail in the first place? Why not just say, "past relationship," or "significant other," which could be a spouse not not? Why not just say "TV" which could mean scripted or unscripted? I'm not following the logic unless these are just errors.

katsm0711 said...

This might be my favorite blind EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MrWolf said...

If I recall correctly, Gwenyth's turn on Glee was quite high profile and she made a fuss about how much of Glee was ad libbed and comes from the actors.

Scallywag said...

Her husband is referred to as her signficant other twice.

She's selling a goop tee. A white t-shirt. For $90.http://www.goop.com/shop/goop-tee.html

gossipmonger1 said...

I have a problem with this one mostly bc if anything gwyneth is actually known to have a large network of girl friends... Sidenote being I think you can tell alot by the amount of friends these stars have or if they continue to get past their prime. Source of this blind is prob madge who had been famously frozen out of queen g's clique.

misspoppypants said...

Why do people hate Coldplay so much? It's most to Nickelback joke level which, imo, nick jokes are so trite and cliche now, it's amost like going back to the Yugo and making fun of it's drive train. I dont know what theyve done to fall from grace (coldplay) but I still love Yellow, In My Place and Clocks, like sooooo many people did back in the day. Never cared for Nickelback but missed out on the origin of the beaten to death obligatory jokes.

BitterBlondin said...

If the movie she went halfway around the world for was Seven Years in Tibet from 1996, then caller ID was invented wayyy before then.

tamarind said...

the goopster!ha

DontRainOnMyPrada said...

He said "lemme tell you about the HISTORY of this actress. She would never do TV." meanIng: in the PAST she would never do TV." See, it's all about semantics. ;) The "unscripted TV" she would do was referring to SNL (which I know is scripted but it's definitely close to unscripted than, say, a sitcom).

Anonymous said...

AND this was my second favorite blind of the day ! THe first was Charlize.
Wow. This really is great.
The Goop-- who has no problem telling us all how to live our lives chasing & stakling men !

Beta said...

@Sherry, its Mario Batali, the italian chef
(im a goop suscriptor jeje)

this reveal is AWESOME!!!

I remember guessing Angie jajaja
The brad pitt link is there :P
I do think she has friends, maybe not what us mortals call friends, but she's a major hollyweird player, and lainey often posts about this.

there is an AWESOME goop anecdote in bohomoth which I recomend you guys read XD
http://www.bohomoth.com/?p=6259

Beta said...

@motcollins yes I saw it the other day! I was going to give her crap for that but then remembered how many fashion houses just bring out overprice shit (hello balmain)

I have to admit I do like Gwynie, clinger or not jeje

Hendrix said...

@Beta, what an anecdote!

And what a shocking reveal! CM must really love her, though...it's not like he couldn't afford to walk away. I know he wrote "I will fix you" for her after her dad died.

The complete tone-deafness of GOOP always amuses me. It's the girlfriend-to-girlfriend newsletter for the holistic 1%.

Though it really seems she has a boatload of girlfriends that she's always hanging out with...Beyonce, etc. And she seems to be able to stay in the spotlight as much as she wants. Someone must like her.

AKM said...

I get GOOP, too, and I've actually learned some interesting things from it. Once she interviewed various clergy members from various religions/denominations for their takes on how being gay is okay and not a sin, etc. It was beautifully written.

And I think "Goop" is just a nickname somebody probably gave her from her initials G.P. Like mine are AKM and some friends/family call me Ack-Em. *shrug*

g.strathmore said...

I love Gywneth as an actress. I think her on screen persona is charming and that she has real range. However, her off screen persona is incredibly annoying to me. Also, I think she has friends the way rich connected people have "friends": "Oh, how ARE you darling?" "Where DID you get that skirt?" "You HAVE to tell me about your latest diet; you look fantastic." "Who wants to go to St. Martin this weekend? They're having the drollest festival." Honestly, does anyone really think Beyonce and Gwyneth Paltrow and Katy Perry are there for each other through thick and thin or even know each others' true feelings very well?

Lelaina Pierce said...

@AKM - I initially subscribed to GOOP when Enty first mentioned it, just for laughs, but sometimes it IS really helpful! I totally saved the flower arranging and bed making ones, for instance. :) I enjoyed the one you mentioned as well.

I love this blind, even though it makes me a bit sorry for her. How can someone with such a seemingly perfect life, even back then, be so damn insecure?

Sarah said...

I can't stand Gwyneth, but this reeks of BS. She clearly has tons of mean girl, clique-y friends just like herself. SHE'S rumored to be the habitual cheater. And both Pitt and Affleck seemed torn up over her for a long time after the break-ups.

gr8p said...

I agree with Sarah. Rumor has it that she is a habitual cheater.

BotoncitoRosa said...

She has been in a tv show with the chef Mario Batalli, they travel around Spain (not sure if other european countries as well), showing the local cuisine, restaurants, etc. That'll be unscripted tv.

MrsTea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MrsTea said...

now I see why her and Beyonce are so close, so plastic

Unknown said...

I am obviously in the SEVERE minority here, but I really love Gwenyth. Don't have any reason, just do. *ducks* :-)

RenoBlondee said...

^Lindsey
I kinda love her too! :)

Sunny said...

I admitted it too girls!!
I think she is darling in interviews, and I don't get why people hate on her. She had a great education and was brought up around a lot of wealthy people. It's going to influence her tastes and interests (However this reveal didn't paint her in a very good light, but I'm over it)

Cynthia said...

I love Gwyneth and this bums me out. But WTF? I thought she cheated on Brad and that's why they broke up. She said he was 'beyond reproach' when asked if him cheating was a reason for the split. I always assumed that her saying shwhew as the architect of her own misery in that breakup was her admission of infidelity.

Cynthia said...

Okay, if the first guy is Brad, the second is Ben, who is the guy she lived with and and it took him several years to get away? Unless that's Ben, too, I can't make it fit.

Cynthia said...

I love Gwyneth and this bums me out. But WTF? I thought she cheated on Brad and that's why they broke up. She said he was 'beyond reproach' when asked if him cheating was a reason for the split. I always assumed that her saying shwhew as the architect of her own misery in that breakup was her admission of infidelity.

J-Mo said...

I don't trust online gossip anymore, even though I like reading it. everyone is gay, cheating, a jerk, a druggie. I miss the old days of getting the real inside gossip from lengthy editorials in Vanity Fair. I recall very clearly how spot-on the Winona/Gwyneth story was and how many people attested to it but now all the gossip is anonymous and contradicts what we long-timers in gossip established as "factual gossip" decades ago.

MD1979 said...

I don't buy this reveal - Gwyn was on Glee which is scripted and she seems to have a real girls club of celeb friends that she's seen with all the time: Beyonce, Stella McCartney, Kate Hudson, Cameron Diaz, Reese Witherspoon, Liv Tyler, etc. so it doesn't make sense to say she has very few friends. Also on the point of sending 100s of texts a day, she's a mom w two kids and even a crappy mom doesn't have time to text like that. Plus she's not photographed with a phone glued to her hand all the time - which you think she would be if she texts as much as this blind says. I call BS!

Vivster said...

I am calling BS on this one. She has tons of long-term friends and is obviously not above doing scripted TV.

Mango said...

I was away for the 4th and am just now getting to read the reveals. I LOATHE Paltrow and so far this is my favorite reveal. Gwyneth is SUCH an insufferable, pretentious TWAT that I can hardly look at her website, even for the giggles.

Everyone goes on and on about her close girlfriends but they all seem to be celebs (Reese Witherspoon, Beyonce, Cameron Diaz) and honestly, how close can she be with people who are away on location and as incredibly busy as these folks are? I think she's a fame whore who gravitates towards people she feels are worthy of her friendship and I wonder how many "common" people she's actually friendly with. And what about the acrimonious breakups she's had with two besties, Winona and Madonna? That says a lot. It's one thing to drift apart, another to burn bridges again and again. In print. And for someone who acts as if she fucking invented motherhood, her ass jumps from continent to continent because she couldn't bear to miss a party or concert. Who watches the kids?

One last thing: she always gushes about her late father and until that bohomoth.com link, I realized that I've never heard her mention her mother, who seems like a perfectly lovely person. I wonder what the story is there??

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