Do NOT Hire This Woman To Babysit
When Loni Bouchard of Clinton, Connecticut was hired to do some babysitting, I think the parents of the 14 year old teen she was supposed to supervise assumed she would hang out and watch television with the kid and then make sure he got to bed before 2am. I don't think I had a babysitter when I was 14, but, maybe these parents are overly protective. If they are, then they probably hated what they found out later. It turns out Loni bought booze for the kid, got him drunk and then had sex with him. Loni, who is 20 faces charges of sexual assault. The investigation took three months to complete. Really? Just ask the kid if he had sex with her and then ask her. How does that take three months?
50 comments:
Sigh, not cool. At the same time, I was 14 when I got drunk with my friends for the first time and became interested in the opposite sex...still so wrong for her to supply the booze and do this. Or was the booze on-site?
Huh? At 14, I was babysitting other kids! And who gets a young, attractive female babysitter for their 14 year-old boy? They should've called Cranky Old Nannies R Us.
Um. Well, then.
A fourteen year-old boy is more than old enough to feel sexually attracted to another person -- particularly when the girl is right around his own age. There's a six-year age difference, I know, but a horny teenage boy isn't going to overthink things.
Fourteen years old and they HIRED A BABYSITTER for him? Yeah, that girl is completely sick, but it sounds as if this kid was sheltered, and he acted out as soon as he could.
I'm wondering if there's more to this story -- is the boy slightly autistic or otherwise impaired and that's why they needed a sitter for him?
What if the 14-y-o is mentally challenged? It's the first thing I thought when I saw that they got a babysitter for a kid that old.
Umm, I started babysitting when I was 11. 14? That's like 9th grade.
That girl is a total moron and hopefully she will get what she deserves, but this seems fishy to me. Like, there was something else going on here.
I def think there is way more to this story, I was babysitting for other families at 14 also...needed the cash for teenage necessities.
Okay, so after Googling it (and you know everything Google tells you is accurate), it would seem that the relationship continued after the night of the "babysitting." So this might be more about the parents not wanting their 14-year old boy dating a 20-year old woman. Understandable. Still don't know why she was "babysitting."
@MISCH - totally - I had frosted lipstick and Guess jeans to buy.
Whats gonna be really fucked up is if they give her more than a handful of years in a real prision. I wonder how she'll come out on the other side then- will hardening this woman and penning her into a cage be the best thing for society OR is getting her into some mandated therapy really the answer?
Obviously she has boundry issues to do this and I would go out on a limb here and guess some sexual problems of her own- to go there with a 14 y/o and ply him with booze then pounce on him indicates some sexual abuse of her own.
^^^
This.
I do wonder why the parents decided to get a sitter for the boy, though.
I don't know how long the babysitting gig was for (ie, just an evening or over a weekend or whatever) but I can see hiring an older kid to chaperone, bring by dinner, drive the kid around, etc.
Of course, it sounds like the parents did not do the calculus regarding 14 year old boys with constant boners being around attractive 20 year old girls. But honestly, it could have happened with a girl of 25, 30, or whatever as long as she lacked judgment and a sense of boundaries.
Maybe these two will be the next great love story, like that teacher that got preggo with the 10 year old years ago.
KLM - that makes more sense, thanks.
Ha ha haaaaaaaa! That's choice. ITA, totally not cool for her to do, but still funny as hell to me!
When I was 20-21, I house-sat for my boss who went out of town and left me to watch the house & his 14-15-yr-old son. I guess you could call it "babysitting". I didn't stay there all day, just in the evenings to make the kid dinner & then I stayed overnight. I think he just wanted to make sure the kid wasn't having parties or something equally stupid. I never thought it was odd nor do I to this day. He was a cute kid but, Jesus, no way in hell would I have crossed the line like that. Ick. Nast.
Johnny Depp lost his virginity at 12 with an oldERRR woman and Anthony Kiedis also with his father's girlfriend
Eh. I'm finding it hard to get riled up about this. Some people just have different lines when it comes to what's right and what's wrong.
I know this not PC, and I fear the backlash, but pending more information this does not sound like a major crime to me.
It's been a long time since I was a 14 year old boy, but if my memory is at all correct I'd guess the "victim" woke the next morning with an increased sense of self-esteem, a higher comfort with his own sexuality, and happy memories of much more enjoyable night than usual.
The babysitter clearly broke expectations, but in my opinion charging this as a major sexual assault weakens our system of law.
When police and politicians want draconian powers and lifelong registration on sex offender lists with severe consequences so they can help little kids who are kidnapped, raped, and sometimes killed by predators, I want to go along. Yet when we then find out the same laws end being applied to cases like this and even worse the high school junior who is dating the high school sophomore with a pissed off father, it makes it tough.
@Unknown- I sorta get where you're going with the last part of your statement. I have a relative who is my age (late 20s) and he went to jail for 2 yrs and cant have a facebook or be on any social sites, let alone what else he goes through, all because he had several hookups with a girl when she was 17 and he was 19- the dad (predictably) got pissed off and so there you go- our law at its black and white finest.
I DO think though that there WERE boundries crossed in this case and that the 20y/o might need some counsling to uncover reasons why she would feel so naturally inclined to do this.
I think generalizing sexuality by saying that people just do what feels good at the time is to devalue the level of intimacy and honestly maturity it takes to handle having a sex life. All the people who I know who had sex very early on (younger than 15y/o) have mentioned feelings of confusion, at times out of control behavior, and generally just a sense of having absolutely no clue what they were doing. I would say that wasnt something I would necessarily want a 14 y/o to experience- and she should have consquences for doing so to this minor, whether or not he woke up 'satisfied' or more secure in his masculinity is besides the point.
@Unknown -- I COULD NOT agree more. There is a HUGE difference between a woman who's jumped by a complete stranger in an alleyway and a teenager who has loving, consensual sex with an older boyfriend or girlfriend.
I wonder what the comments would be like if it was a 14 yr old girl and 20 yr old boy.... Either way in all reality 14 is still very young and easily coerced into certain situations. Not to mention alcohol was involved. Hopefully condoms were involved as well.
My hubby was the same age when his sitter took his v card. No alcohol and he was a willing participant, but she was 16. I think age and experience factors in as well and you have a lot more life experience at 20 than 14.
Btw my hubby has a younger brother and sister which is why a sitter was there.
I think some 14 yr olds need more supervision that others as far as staying home w/o parents. :)
Right at 14 I was babysitting for Guess jeans, and lip gloss as well. Stuff does happen at 20 she's a dumb kid herself. I just can't see being attracted to a younger guy at that age. That's ODD to say the least. Watch this woman to see if she becomes a middle school teacher!!!smh
@beachbum
I probably would. Maybe this girl emotionally operates on the same level as the boy does? It's really a case-by-case basis for me.
She is a sexual predator. If this was a 20 year old man and 14 year old girl people would be outraged. Be outraged now. The parents hired a sitter so no harm would come to their child. This woman gave him alcohol to lower his inhibitions then sexually assaulted him. At 14 he does not have the emotional capacity to make an informed decision as to whether to have sexual intercourse or not, this is why laws are in place to protect children. His faculties were further impaired by the alcohol. Throw the book at her and all other child molesters.
i know 4 guys who all lost it to their babysitters.
it's a lot more common than you think. does it make it right? I dunno but none of them feel like they were victims..most are quite boastful about it like unknown said.
I am so torn. I agree with Unknown's take on this, but I also agree if the genders were reversed we'd be outraged. I can admit I would be. My head hurts.
What a lucky kid!
Beachbum -- I hadn't thought of that. Other younger kids needing coverage and the driving make the need for a sitter clear.
Lol Dianne.
I may not be a lawyer but it seems like common sense to know more goes into an investigation than asking the kid if he had sex with the babysitter. That isn't enough to prosecute so it had to of taken a while to develop a case.
I get unknown's point and I'm not sure what I think. I'm not outraged and I do think if the genders were opposite than people would be a lot more upset. Something seems off that a 14 year old boy would even need a sitter and I can't imagine why a 20 year old woman would sleep with someone so young. Either way she was being paid for a job that she didn't do and she also gave him alcohol.
Question: She's only 20. How did she buy alcohol? Legal age is 21.
I think this is a case of pissed off parents....
no crime, 14yr old boys are ready to bang the 20yr old babysitter.
wished i knew to ask for one when i was 14
I think the 14yo most likely woke up hung over. I would like to know why she thought it was acceptable to buy booze for and bang a 14yo old. How mature is she to think a 14yo old is someone you'd do that with. UGHH!!
@Jasmine - I am one of those people who had sex early on, and I have not had any problems or confusions regarding that. In fact, I am happy I did it and it was a great experience. As for this case, the age difference makes it a different story, but I just wanted to add that having sex at such an early age doesnt have to be bad as long as you are responsible and use protection.
@linnea-using protection and being 'responsible' is all well and good and I am glad that you dont regret having sex from a relatively early age, I would like to add that many of my friends who also had sex early on arent scarred for life or feel really any lasting effects, HOWEVER my point was that with sex comes for many many people a whole new stratosphere of responsibilites (besides protection) and worries and it can just be an overall mind fuck to start sleeping with people 2yrs into your teens.Yes, in this case her age difference hightlights the problem of two young people having sex but I still feel that in general having sex that young isnt the healthiest thing for you and at least half my friends have said if they had a choice, they'd do it differently.
Boy, I am so glad I was a teenager in the 70s when people weren't so hung up on pedophiles and understood that horny teens thought scoring an adult was an achievement.
I was fifteen when I approached a 35 year old guy to have my first sex with. We had fun, but we broke it off because it was illegal. The following year the state lowered the age of consent and we got busy again.
Studies have shown that having sex at a young age does not automatically traumatize kids; obviously it can't be that simple because humans routinely have had sex at early ages. What DOES damage a child is forced or coerced sex. When the child willingly engaged (and yes indeed, some of us were VERY willing), there's no harm, because there was no force or coercion to mess with our psyches.
By the way...I'm in my fifties and that first fella is in his seventies. We still see each other every few years...and smile.
There's more to this story,not only did they have a relationship for 6 mos with this boy but there was another boy she babysat that she had a sexual relationship with too -i live near Clinton & this has been all over our local news
Oops sorry the 14 yo & the babysitter had a relationship for 6 mos
When I was 13, a mom & her bf went away for a long weekend and left me alone with her 1 1/2 year old. That still boggles my mind. She knew I could ask my mom if I needed help, but I was still too young to be left alone in the house with a baby for three days. Oh, and her bf hit on me all the time. I can't judge this case, but I was WAY too young and immature for that crap. Ick, nast!
feraltart said...She is a sexual predator. If this was a 20 year old man and 14 year old girl people would be outraged.
Many would, and many would not. Though I should no longer be, I am still surprised to read posts on numerous blogs (including this one) from those who believe that it is acceptable for young teenagers to have sex, whether it be with older teenagers or adults.
linnea said...I am happy I did it...
May I ask why?
Sure! It was a great experience, we had a lot of fun and I learned a lot about love and sex and intimacy! I would not do anything differently if I had the chance to.
So yeah, I would say it is completely up to the individual. Some are mature enough to take responsibility and play around at an early age, some are not. And forced or coerced sex is obv never right.
If this was a male 20 year old babysitter and a 14 year old female, would people feel the same about this?
@Unknown -- I'd be hella suspicious of a twenty year-old man "babysitting" a fourteen year-old girl. Young men aren't likely to babysit unless they're watching their siblings -- and only begrudgingly, if that's the case. NO sane parent would pay a male sophomore in college to watch a ninth-grade girl.
I can honestly see both sides. If I had a fourteen year-old son, I'd be horrified, and I get why some people are aghast. But if the sex if the sex between these two was consensual, then I'm just *not* going to be as horrified and offended by this situation as I am by cases of violent rape.
Consent at such a young age is always dicey. Even if young teens consent to sex, it is still an abuse of power for significantly older individuals to have sex with them.
It's great that some people have sex at 14 years old and feel fine with that decision later on. I still believe that 99% of kids that age are not mature enough to consent to sex - teenage boy boners notwithstanding. Bodily maturity is not the same as psychological/emotional maturity.
For example, regarding Johnny Depp "losing his virginity" at 12... I don't believe that is possible. If he had his first sexual encounter at 12, he was taken advantage of. It was not truly consensual.
I think it is more cultural than anything else. The average age in Sweden is around 15, so obv most of my friends lost it around the same time. I have never, ever, heard anyone express any regrets about it either.
I think it's the situation that skeeves me out. That's only a year or so younger than I was, but I cannot fathom it happening with a babysitter.
I cannot FATHOM being 20 and being attracted to anyone under the age of 18, either.
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