Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Access Hollywood Is Crap

Access Hollywood came out with their top female stars of 2007 list. Let's see just what these women did to deserve a top ten ranking on the list. These are the stars of the stars. The women who are famous because of their work, and their fame and are not just celebrities because they would then be listed under a top ten famous people list. Stars should be reserved for actors and actresses. People who are eligible to get their star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. With that in mind, let's check out the list.

#10 Katie Holmes - No projects in 2007. Nothing released since 2005. No projects due to be released until 2008. So she's a star because she's married to a failing actor who was filming a movie in Europe all year. While he was working she walked around Europe all year with their kid. Nice start to the list.

#9 No Number 9 - The reason for this is because it would have taken to much work to invent another worthy person

#8 Tie between Jennifer Lopez and Nicole Richie - Jennifer Lopez went on an extended tour for the first time. She was in a horrible bomb of a film and had a horrible bomb of a record released. She is married to a skeleton, and she got pregnant. Not every star has a good year, and she needs a little pick me up knowing what that baby is going to look like. I am okay with Jennifer being here.

Nicole Richie - Been on nothing since 2005. Got knocked up and spent some time in jail. Stole her boyfriend away from his old girlfriend by actually having sex with him. Why is she on the list again?

#7 Victoria Beckham - Spice Girls Reunited. New fashion line. New fake breasts and then had them taken out. Definitely a star worthy year.

#6 Rosie O'Donnell - I don't need Rosie e-mailing me every five minutes. Definitely star worthy and will probably end up with one on the Walk of Fame if she doesn't already have one there.

#5 Angelina Jolie - Love her or hate her she did make movies this year. They were horrible movies and she doesn't deserve more than a $1M a movie, but that is what good agents can do. Mom died during the year and her brother managed to keep his tongue to himself. Angelina is star worthy.

#4 Paris Hilton - Nothing released in 2007 except more herpes viruses. She has two things coming out in 2008 and that Hottie or Nottie thing is better than Blonde Ambition. For Paris that is saying a bunch. She did absolutely nothing except spend time in jail yet somehow she is #4 on the list. Do you get the feeling the people over at Access have a very good supply of kneepads?

#3 Lindsay Lohan - According to Access, they did 68 "news" stories on Lindsay during the year. That means over 20% of the time when you turned on Access you were going to see a Lindsay story. Why again? She did release three films this year of which only two were god awful. One of them was more of a team ensemble of putridness and so she shouldn't take the full blame. Three movies, three huge bombs, along with rehab, sexuality rumors and enough homes wrecked to be a demolition chick. OK, that is quite the combination but she needs a hit next year or she is done. I guess she could go the Katie Holmes route although Katie was actually becoming a pretty decent actress.

#2 Anna Nicole Smith - 87 stories. So almost 40% of the time you turned on Access you would have seen an ANS story. I am okay with this.

#1 Britney Spears - A bomb of an album should not get you the #1 spot. Do you know how many singers haven't had a hit album in four years and get even get a phone call returned, and Britney is the top female star of 2007? What about the actresses that were in number one films or had hit records? Where is Rihanna? Where are the Academy Award winners? These women for the most part are not stars, they are the inventions of the mind of a publicist.


Simone said...

In Katie Holmes' defence, she does have 'Mad Money' coming out in a few weeks. But other than that... yeah, I hear ya.

Anonymous said...

Ha. This list reads like "People whose behavior is the lifeblood of this program" Wheres Reese Witherspoon?

Unknown said...

Angelina's performance in "A Mighty Heart" has not only been universally praised by critics around the world, she's also been nominated for a Golden Globe, a Screen Actor's Guild award, and is a lock for a Best Actress Oscar nomination in a few weeks.

I don't know about you, but box office failure (in the case with A Mighty Heart) does not translate into a bad performance or a bad movie. Quite the opposite in many cases. It's just not a 'blow them up and make them laugh' type of movie main-stream America loves.

And this is coming from someone who has been underwhelmed by her acting and role choices of the last few years.

Anonymous said...

Oh thats right I forgot, women who are strong and with real discernable talent, like Hilary Swank, or Ellen Page, arent worthy of recognition, right? :(

Stephanie said...

How about Gwen Stefani? She had the top female concert tour of 2007.

Simone said...

^^ right Trix. :(

And Sabrina, kudos for sticking up for Angelina.

Unknown said...

Page certainly did enough to make her a household name in Juno, but I'm not sure she's done enough to make a top 10 list... yet. She should get herself an Oscar nod though, which is better than any consolation prize.

Throw in Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton, Marion Cotillard, Julie Christie, Amy Adams, etc. and you have a list of actresses who each accomplished something important.

You could also throw in Michelle Pfeiffer for a hell of a comeback year, all things considered.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Amy Adams or Jenna Fischer would have been great. Hell, even Hayden Pantyairs, at least she works and does charity.

BTW anyone else see article on Perez?

Looks like that blind about a teen pregnancy with an older executive came true. I wish I could find the original BI.

Unknown said...

I'm going to post this again, but check this out -- Jamie Lynn is definitely the answer to Ent's "girl who got knocked up by older producer" blind item:

You love me and you know this.

Kory said...

I disagree! That's right, you read that. I think that this list is absolutely fabulous. Are they all going to show up at one place for an award? OK, maybe Anna Nicole won't be there, but will the others? Thanks to CNN, we all know how to a dirty bomb and...

RandomRamblings said...

I am not surprised by this list. Access Hollywood is basically the televised version of Star Magazine. All they cover is failed reality stars and tabloid queens. They won't do an in depth coverage of movie premieres or the Oscars, but they will spend 10 minute segments on Britney Spears' new wig.

belicoso said...

People do have an insatiable curiosity for pop stars and various "celebrities". I can say that I am surprised that Larry Birkhead didn't make the list as a sort of residual-celebrity after Anna Nicole died. It is pretty clear that her "newsworthiness" has been passed on to him, and I look for him to be Number 1 next year with his futile yet inevitable legal battle to get his hands on the money Anna died trying to obtain. Although the Little Spears might give him a run for his money since she made news late this year and has an entire pregnancy to sell coverage of next year.


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