Monday, July 21, 2008

Elvis Is Still Alive


I'm telling you that Elvis is still alive and Marilyn Monroe is still giving bj's to JFK. This has to be the only possible explanation because it appears that Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie are trying to find a movie to star together in.

Now, I know about Billy Bob and his bragging a few months ago that Angelina was never going to be satisfied with any peen other than his, but lets face it, I'm not sure Angelina needs peen to be happy and if she is going to do just do the breeding thing, I think she knows that a room full of Brad Pitt look-a-likes is going to go over better than a bunch of Lil' Billy Bobs.

However, in an interview this month with Maxim, Billy Bob actually sounds coherent when he says that "We've talked about it plenty of times. I'm sure we will. We want to be really careful that we pick the right one. Maybe a comedy. In other words, we wouldn't want to do another movie about a husband-wife relationship. That probably wouldn't be very good."

Well, I for one think Bad Santa 2 would be a good choice for them. Angelina Jolie can be the evil mall manager this time and then she and Lauren Graham can start making out in Bed Bath & Beyond and then Billy Bob comes in with a Santa hat on both of his heads and...Sorry.

Do you know how much publicity the film would get? It would be huge and the rumors, oh man, the rumors would be great. The entire crew of the film will make a fortune selling crap to the tabloids about every conversation or action the pair takes. If Angelina smiles its because she just got nailed in her trailer by Billy Bob. If Billy is scowling its because Angelina won't leave Brad and the tension between Brad and Billy Bob almost led to blows. Wow it would be a fun few months.

Make the damn movie and then on the red carpet they can announce their engagement.

23 comments:

mooshki said...

"Angelina Jolie can be the evil mall manager this time and then she and Lauren Graham can start making out in Bed Bath & Beyond and then Billy Bob comes in with a Santa hat on both of his heads and...Sorry."

Yep, Enty's in his happy place today! LOL!

S. Drew said...

Bad Santa was hilarious! I wish they would to a sequel.

Moosefan said...

he is soo gross. He looks like one of those beer goggle hookups-we all know what I am talking about. If he inspired anything, its the phrase Coyote Ugly. I think that he has been hitting what Matt McConahghey or however you spell it-threw out in the trash when he baby proofed his house. Blech...And trust, he is the one with the Saint Angelina shrine. No shrine to Billy Bob at the Jolie-Pitt house(s).

sandman said...

bad santa & bad news bears, both funny & the best part was i don't think he was acting.

bmini said...

"Billy Bob comes in with a Santa hat on both of his heads and...Sorry."

I will never forgive you for putting that image in my head...

S. Drew said...

Oh, I don't know if Enty reads these comments or not, but there is a miniseries/series with Carla Gugino starring in it called 'Threshold' that is on the SciFi channel right now. Well, right now being 3pm Eastern time, you I don't know about. I know how much you love Carla Gugino.

merrick said...

my first thought when I saw this pic is ..angie looks so much better now then she did with billy bob .." I guess it was all the blood letting that was going on back then ...

Kristen S. said...

BBT plays drunk better than anyone I've ever seen....he's, errrr, a natural! ;)

Bad Santa is one of my favorite movies.

jax said...

Bad Santa in like the Grateful Dead in my house.
love it over and over again.

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

Billy Bob is responsible for Sling Blade, which pretty much gives him a free pass in my book, personally. That movie is brilliant, and so is he -- in a deranged, OCD, grizzled kinda way.

Maybe they can make a sequel to THAT.

I'm totally kidding. I'm also totally sick of Angelina.

Abaddon said...

Well if they did Bad News Bears Angie could be the mother of the entire team. A rainbow family that plays together stays together. Put her in curlers, a cigarette and make her a welfare mother. I'll pay to see that. I love Billy Bob.

Anonymous said...

Long time lurker, first time poster here:

Ernestine, you read my mind. How about "Sling Blade 2"? Billy Bob could whack Brad over the head with a lawnmower blade, while Angie is in the kitchen (barefoot and pregnant AGAIN) whipping up a batch of hot biscuits with mustard.

Then, they could borrow a scene from "The Meaning of Life" (I know, I know) and break into a rousing chorus of "Every Sperm is Sacred."

badchick272002 said...

Did anyone else catch the Lauren Graham comment? I know Angelina was one of the women in the blind item involving two very different type of women sleeping with the same woman. Could the other woman be Lauren Graham. I'm too lazy to go back and find the blind item right now. ENT did reveal that Angelina was one of the women in the blind but did not reveal the other.

kris said...

As much as I LOVE Bad Santa...please God - no more Angie....

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

"Billy Bob could whack Brad over the head with a lawnmower blade, while Angie is in the kitchen (barefoot and pregnant AGAIN) whipping up a batch of hot biscuits with mustard.

Then, they could borrow a scene from "The Meaning of Life" (I know, I know) and break into a rousing chorus of "Every Sperm is Sacred."

Holy SHIT, Barbara! PLEASE tell me that you're a screenwriter!

Marnie said...

How lobotomized does home girl look in that picture? He's propping her druggie ass up.

ENT: Lauren Graham and Matthew Perry? Yay or Nay?

jax said...

badchick- Lauren was in Bad Santa.

Abaddon said...

I just noticed. I thought the post said "Evil is still alive". Oh well. Angelina brings out the worst in me.

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

Maybe I'm just getting cynical in my old age, but how do we know Billy Bob isn't just talking out of his ass? Lord knows enough potential "projects" get blabbed about over & over & over, but never actually come to pass, so why would this be any different? Methinks he's hoping to hitch his caboose to the Brangelina train and see if it takes him any further down the track...

SisterMaryHotPantz said...

Do you really believe Angie still has contact with BillyBobAzzHat? This is the man she was married to when she adopted Maddox. He didnt want anything to do with the adoption or being Mads' father.

Angie cut off her father for his past transgressions, so ya think she has forgiven BillyBobAzzHat for deserting her and Maddox??

Squeezebox said...

Oh, I *so* think Billy Bob and Angelina should star in a remake of his debut film, Chopper Chicks in Zombietown. It's about a lesbian biker gang who roll into a small desert town only to discover a mad scientist has been turning the locals into zombies. The chicks have to figure out how to save the town - and a schoolbus full of blind kids who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Billy Bob played the trailer-trash estranged hubby of Dede, the lead chopper chick.

This would be a perfect vehicle for the two of them. It's got all kinds of stuff from Angelina's history: hot lesbian action, the choad ex, and she gets to ride to the rescue of poor little kids in peril.

And maybe Brad could do a cameo as a zombie...

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

squeezebox! You used my favorite word: CHOAD!

Anonymous said...

Ernestine - nope. Just a lowly office grunt. Thanks for the vote of confidence, though. I always find it fun to put a sick twist on what a movie SHOULD HAVE been...

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