Reese Witherspoon Well On Her Way To Being Wife Number 7
As of October 5th, Reese Witherspoon became free to marry other men when her marriage officially ended. Reese and Ryan Phillipe still need to work out details about money (that's the part that makes Ryan smile) and of course custody and visitation. Both Reese and Ryan want shared custody and think they are both happy with the visitation schedule as well so the only sticking point is money. This is where the lawyers really start to make serious money so it will be just a bit longer and a few hundred more billable hours before the parties can reach a settlement, but it will come.
Now that the legal news is out of the way, I think Reese needs to seriously look at being wife #7. My greatest strength is that I have a job. I do have a home, although it is just a basement with a tiny window, it is still my home. I am more man than she has ever had before. Of course that last sentence sounds really hot, but the size I'm talking about is waist line, not below the waist. I kind of got short changed there to tell you the truth. I blame the guy doing the circumcising.
Anyway, I stopped by the butcher on the way to work this morning and weighed in at a crisp 418 pounds which sounds much better in kilos, but I can't do the math. Anyway, that is actually down from my high of 434. I think to have any shot at Reese I need to get down to about 390. She's a bit of a health nut, so 390 should do it for me. I look good at 390. Being 5'9" I carry the 390 really well, especially in the winter when I can wear more clothes. The clothes also hide the body hair which she may find a bit off putting.
Hmmmm. Maybe I should just give up on Reese and concentrate on Natasha Lyonne. She lives on the damn beach. How picky could she be.
17 comments:
You just made coffee come out of my nose.
LMAO Ent.
Someone should invite her to one of the cdan luncheons to chat you up.
I say go for 390 and wax the hair.
I wonder if he really is that big, or if he just says that, so if any celeb does read the blog, they will be looking for a phantom.
Ooo baby, ENT! Reese may have to beat me to you!
Oh, imtiredsotired, I am sure that is it! The celebs will be literally looking for an extremely overweight, bald entertainment attorney lurking about and say, "Look, it's him!" and steer clear, while the real Ent., svelte with a full head of slicked back hair, will go unnoticed in his role as "Entertainment Lawyer!" once more! (sorry for the sarcasm but c'mon!)
In my dreams, Ent looks like Zachary Quinto. And is a bit evil, too. ;)
Mmmmmmm... Zachary Quinto.
Mmmmmmmm... Homer Simpson!!
hahahaha...
ENT I am sure you are luscious
seriously guys, of course he's ripping the piss out of himself! How many overweight lawyers have you seen?
my guess he is impeccably groomed, being in the job he is and living where he is you just have to; appearance is everything in la la land and though he may only be on the peripheral (sic) he still wines and dines and has to schmooze VIPs....
also who else is of the opinion that Ent will indeed show up to the CDANcon but just as a regular joe or as Hez's brother or something? He is SO going to be at that convention!
I agree cooper's mom! and I wouldn't put it past ent that he is and has been a poster here already.
LMAO Ent - you are soooo full of crap....
Your're afraid we'd all JUMP you at the convention...
Signed,
Ent's harem girl
Ent, Ent, Ent...
I agree with all the above posters. He probably doesn't look that bad and he just may sneak into the convention thing just to have a perve at all you hot chicks. Hee hee.
:-)
Now this is a great plan for you: marry reese and represent lily allen.
I guarantee you that you will go slim soon, using the stress diet.
But, on the other hand, you will gain the high income smile of ryan.
:-)
P.S. if this plan doesnt work out, you still can write the book/script: "Beeing ent lawyer" where you can share with us this scenario in all its details and making some money with it. At least, when filming it, you could get to do the hot shower scene with a reese lookalike.
oh, btw.
you said more than once that you live in a basement with very small, tiny windows.
you sure thats no YACHT you speak about?
:-)))))))))
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