Friday, April 25, 2008

Is Oprah A Secret Scientologist?

I'm sure you all saw yesterday that Tom Cruise is headed back to Oprah. That's right, but to make sure nothing untoward happens there will be no furniture. Everyone on the set, and in the audience will be seated on the floor. This is to make it appear as if Tom Cruise is a giant.

The reason for Tom's appearance. To break up with Katie Holmes. Naah, but it would be kind of a fitting end to the whole thing. He can be sitting on the floor, and just start crying while he rests his head in Oprah's lap. As staffers hold back Gayle King, Tom just weeps like a baby.

The actual reason Tom is going to be on is to celebrate his 25th anniversary of making films. He is getting a two parter. Yep. Two whole hours devoted to a Tom Cruise kiss butt session. Two hours of one person after another crawling on the floor telling Tom how great he is and just watching that stupid grin of his.

Hmmm. Kirstie Alley is going to be there. John Travolta, and you know Leah Remini will be there. He'll probably pay Nicole Kidman an extra sum this month so she will come on and say Good Day.

You know what. Here is a deal for Oprah. Since she wants to be taken seriously, and have her opinion count in politics, here is something to prove you are serious. If she has Tom answer five questions Jenna Miscavige wants asked, I will give $2000 to any charity Oprah wants.


mooshki said...

"Everyone on the set, and in the audience will be seated on the floor. This is to make it appear as if Tom Cruise is a giant."

Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if he asked for all of the chairs in the studio to be lowered an inch for his visit. Or maybe he could put white sneakers under his own chair legs?

Kristen S. said...

"If she has Tom answer five questions Jenna Miscavige wants asked, I will give $2000 to any charity Oprah wants. "

Good for you! I love how Oprah "cares" about people being abused....schilling for one of the most abusive cults!

GammaGirl said...

This is all sorts of creepy.
All will be lost if The Mighty O goes over the dark side.

Has anyone been reading the epic "Mr Moviemaker/Mr Moviestar" BI on The Sentenial-Gatekeeper site?
I'm not sure if there is any truth to any of it, but it is compelling stuff!

Dick Insideu said...

Tom Cruise takes it up the ass. Tom Cruise sucks cock. Tom Cruise is HIV positive. Tom Cruise felches his male lovers.

Kat said...

I think that Oprah is being smart. Everyone is going to be watching, whether they love him or hate him, and I have a feeling she'll address some of the Scientology issues. I don't think she'll be hard on him, but she'll probably ask. She seems to want to believe in the good in people, but I don't think she's into Scientology. This is just good business, but I really wish she'd play hardball with him and ask him some of the painful questions. Not likely, though.

jax said...

yes i think Oprah is a secret scientologist. this is a major story buzzing and she has nothing to say on it? Oprah queen of media? conflict of interest!

oh she'll have him on, kiss his ass for about 55 mins then throw a few kneepad questions his way that are preplanned and preanswered to a tee...actually that will prob be the instudio pretaped without an audience part. the rest will be a 55 min circle jerk around his ranch with Opie ooing and ahhing in the right parts.

littleoleme said...

Kat - she won't ask a single COS question. Oprah claims to be a journalist or that she once was one;she's not. She constantly acquiesces to the COS members mentioned above. I wouldn't be surprised if she was a secret scientologist.
Kristen you nailed it when you said
"I love how Oprah "cares" about people being abused....schilling for one of the most abusive cults!"

Kat said...

Look, Oprah is going through a 'let people believe what they want to believe' phase, because she's really into 'A New Earth' which is a philosophy rooted in Buddhism and Christianity, respectively. When does she ever comment on any of her guests religious beliefs? Why would she? It's a 'talk show', not a one-hour hard-hitting expose, and it seems like her main objective these days is to make people 'awaken'. Like Jax said, and I said before it, she'll ask questions about it but they won't be tough ones, because he probably went to her for the interview as a 'friend' and as the person on whose show he made an ass of himself. It's a full circle kind of thing. Hardly anyone asks the tough stuff anymore.

She's not a Scientologist, that's for sure, but she's probably 'tolerant' of it because stating anything otherwise would cause a huge uproar. All the well-known 'journalists' are staying far away from this topic at the moment, but they won't forever. I think it's a case of everyone being afraid to cast the first stone. They'll wait until a tragedy happens, like they always do.

Sinjin said...

If the show does a "This is your Life" type of segment, I'd fall out of my chair with laughter if she brought on the gay cowboy from the Village People. Go Team Randy!

captivagrl said...

it's gonna take a PR genius to turn his career around. oprah's a good venue and i wonder what the plan is. a two parter is a bit risky for tom. but a celebration of himself? he's in heaven.

boobsu said...


merrick said...

gammagirl .. can you post the link to this bi .. i would love to read it .. thanks ...

why the el is ent advertising parasite movie or is this a joke?

Burgundy said...

I don't have a clue if Oprah is a Scientologist, but I wouldn't be surprised if Cruise and Travolta were trying to recruit her. COS is trying to build membership in the African American community. What a coup it would be for COS to land Oprah (the Queen of TV) and/or Will Smith (the Box Office King)?

Anonymous said...

Have anyone of you seen the Church of Opa video? Sounds like another weird cult.

GammaGirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GammaGirl said...

Here you go donna:
It's super long, but extremely addictive and it involves about 15 different celebrities. (It's believed to be about the fallout between Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise)
Sometimes the Sentenial site crashes so you might also want to check out the Gossip Rocks thread:

It's mind boggling! And it could also be completely fictitious.

boobsu said...


WTF said...

Ent, I'll match your $2000 but I pick the charity.

Amy said...

Well there must have been some major kneepad action somewhere for this to be happening. I could be wrong..but I thought Tom was mad @ Oprah after the couch jumping and she couldn't play in his sandbox anymore or go to the wedding etc.

So was it her that showed up w/ the kneepads ready to mend fences or him? I would imagine he would have a lot more to gain from getting back in her good graces...such as a 2 hour showcase of him showing us how normal he is and reminding us of the past 25 years, 20 of which most ppl did not have a problem w/ him and made his movies into huge hits.

It will prob take everything he has not to call SOMEBODY glib during it all.

ablake said...

Hmm mixed feelings I guess.
Oprah still has a quality about her, of 'keeping it real', which is why she is a kabillionare and yet people buy into the Oprah everything. Her show, her radio show, her channel, her magazine, her book club.
I don't think she's a COS'er, but I also don't think I would accuse her of being any religion, actually. She seems to be in Oprah world.

At the same time, fairly certain Tom wouldn't step his dainty size 4 foot on that stage if everything was not preplanned. What she can ask, more importantly, what she cannot.

I can see it now.

Oprah: So Tom. Are you gay?

Tom: (tossing a hissy fit) you aren't supposed to ask me that!!! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE
(puts on a gas mask as smoke fills the room)

*cough* you know, I've been watching too much Dr. Who.

I can still picture it, though. No one will ever ask him that. So stupid. Wonder if Andrew Morton's book will be mentioned (probably, he'll probably toss out the word 'glib' again)

Wonder if Randy "Village People"'s book will be mentioned.

ablake said...

I almost forgot. What would be really cool is if Montell shows up at the end and says "We grabbed a piece of your hair from the dressing room. It's time to find out if you are really Suri's father"

Now see, that's a cliffhanger that would top who shot JR.

Want ratings, do that.
Let people simmer all summer and then air the episode in November during sweeps.


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