Thursday, May 21, 2009

Michael Musto Blind Items - Lots And Lots

I don't even need to post any blind items today. Michael Musto has a ton. In his column yesterday he just kind of lumped them all together. Lucky for us, a reader was kind enough to break them all down and number them for easier guessing. Enjoy these. There are 40 of them.

(1) Which supposedly cleaned-up star was spotted at a hot West Village
restaurant, going to the bathroom about every five minutes to take care
of business? Anyone buying the weak bladder excuse?

(2) Which once-hot pop star can barely sing a note and needs mucho
enhancement in the studio, getting help from a songwriter who's also
vocally stepped in for that working-class rock band?

(3) Similarly, which famous young lady actually does the singing for
her more famous sister?

(4) Which quirky director who gives the wife a lot of work must be
doing so in exchange for some heavy bearding? (He's rumored to be one
of them there closet cases.)

(5) Which still-closety '70s superstar gets regular mansion visits from
a local gay promoter?

(6) Which TV starlet has freaked out from her (mid-level) success and
doesn't want people on the street to even look in when she's doing a
photo shoot in an establishment? Wouldn't she freak out even more if
they didn't look in?

(7) Which married actor is wildly flamboyant among friends and business
associates, but when he sits down with an interviewer or goes out in
public, he suddenly reins in the swishing and tries to pass for
straight? Who's buying it?

(8) Which French actor, who's now part of a franchise, is known=2
0for
having a "dick of fire"? (I.e., he can't seem to stick it in enough
orifices—all of them les girls', alas).

(9) Which trannie, poignantly enough, got a cut-rate sex change and
can't feel much of anything down there?

(10) Which belter is such a drinker that she had to be pushed onstage
for her entrance at that concert, after which she started singing eight
bars early, thereby throwing off the whole number (and, in fact, the
whole show)?

( 11) Which male Tony nominee for musicals is such an egomaniac that
people dread sitting at his end of the table?

(12) Which old-time crooner only does interviews via e-mail, so his
people can provide canned answers that are often verbatim repeats of
what they fed other publications?

(13) Which Brazilian hustler keeps his cash in his mattress rather than
report it to the authorities? (Not that I know any Brazilian hustlers,
mind you. I got this from a friend of a friend.)

(14) Which comeback chanteuse lost her lower register due to all those
times she took injections to get over health problems and/or exhaustion?

(15) What diva's light-skinned son strangely has trouble getting it up?

(16) Which semi-star was supposedly busted for posting anonymous
threads about how she was better in that hit show than the woman who
replaced her? Is it any wonder the semi-star was caught screaming,
"Noooo!" when her replacement won the big award?

(
17) Which erudite actor who's currently on the boards was seen—by
me—wiping his nose as he left the bathroom at Hiro? (Well, he had the
next day off.) Anyone buying the weak sinus excuse?

(18) Which well-chosen wife of a major star is so dumb she didn't know
that a drag performance she'd just seen was indeed a collection of
males in dresses? Does that explain why she married that husband?

(19) Which American author's birthplace studiously omits his
homosexuality from all materials and resents any attempt to get it
mentioned?

(20) Which author's birthplace doesn't?

(21) Which director supposedly got married to deflect accusations
(baseless, I'm sure) that he was sleeping with his young discovery?

(22) Which husband of that too-thin personality is a cheater (and a
beater, too, if you believe the horrid murmurs)?

(23) Which hubby didn't want to pose for photos with the wife at her
book party because, as he mouthed to her, "It's your book"? (Free
answer: Dean McDermott.)

(24) Which surprise Broadway star is a shameless womanizer who tried to
get a young lady who was auditioning for a part in his show to come
over and rehearse in private? When she couldn't find the time to do so,
how did he respond to her later request for tickets? (Angrily, I assure
you.)

(25) Which talented blonde stage star picks her nose as if burrowing
for gold and is fond of saying about job offer
s, "They can't afford
me"? Who turned down the illustrious chance to replace her? (Free
answers: Ashley Tisdale, Hilary Duff, and Brittany Snow, for starters.
I guess they couldn't afford them.)

(26) Which screen legend would seem to be a great icon to get to know,
but at least one person who has done so reports, "Not so! She's boring
and needy!"?

(27) What biggie didn't talk to a stage co-star who happened to have
gotten even better reviews than she did?

(28) Who wrote that movie by dredging up her perspective on her sister
and other family situations, but told the press it was totally original?

(29) Which Oscar winner hides her head in her hand whenever she sees
me, even though we're fellow rabid liberals?

(30) Which teen idol could the character named "Zack" in Dance
Flick—you know, the one who sings the song about being a big
gay—possibly be based on?

Which legendary restaurant that was priced out of business is reopening
in a boutique hotel—this time, with a big stage, rather than have
performances on the counter? (Free answer: Florent.)

(31) Which Post gossip diva has written a Broadway show that I hear the
Weislers will bring to a really big stage?

And now, kindly hold your noses and prance down memory lane with me for
these far more vintage items:

(32) Which scriptwriter of two classic musicals once managed to solicit
a blowjob out of a you
ng lady auditioning for a revival, never
realizing she was a chick with a dick (not to mention a very good
friend of mine)?

(33) Which actor who once worked in a trannie bar slept with at least
one of the gals? (Again, I'm connected.)

(34) Which multi-octave superstar started out so rough and untrained
that she wouldn't bother to bathe and, at dinners, would turn to the
person next to her and demand things like, "Cut my meat"? (And no, this
has nothing to do with the discount sex-change item above.)

(35) Which superstar couple's run supposedly ended when she gave him
the gift of herpes? What kinds of kinky activities were the male half
of that duo into? (Free answer: fisting, to name just one earthly
delight. Yes, hetero fisting! I'm not making this shit up!)

(36) What always-acclaimed actress's marriage has lasted so long partly
because the non-bizzy husband turns a blind eye whenever she beds her
male co-stars?

(37) Which legend's first album was a hit by mistake? (On a budget,
they accidentally sped up the music, which made it all the more
danceable).

(38) Which ethnic multi-talent had a breakdown when her then-boyfriend
was arrested? (In fact, she threw herself on the prison floor and
started foaming at the mouth—a far better performance than anything
she's achieved on celluloid.)

(39) Which star of that cable phenomenon didn't thank her husband at
the Emmys because he20was fucking his female co-star on Broadway around
that time?

(40) Which lesbian singer did it with a man—once, from what I can
tell—and he reports that she just laid there, practically comatose? I
mean, can you blame her?

113 comments:

mooshki said...

Enty, if you aren't going to write a blind today, you should give us your guesses for these 40. :)

MontanaMarriott said...

I AGREE WITH MOOSHKI

kregger said...

Fun!

1) Robert Downey Jr.

3) Solange, for Beyonce (duh)

4) The Coen bro. married to Frances McDormand

5) Rod Stewart

7) Will Smith or H. Jackman

9) Alexi Arquette

10) Winehouse

12) Tony Bennett

15) Diana Ross

18) Katie Holmes

22) The dude married to Kelly Ripa

27) Susan Sarandon

28) Jenny Lumet (Rachel Getting Married)

36) Streep???

38) J. Lo

Ms Cool said...

Throw these into any of them:

lindsay lohan
britney spears
ben affleck
amy winehouse

39) Sarah Jessica Parker

MontanaMarriott said...

39-SJP and MB
40-Alicia Keys

kregger said...

39) Definitely SJP and Broderick...

figgy said...

Please please please don't let #4 be a Coen brother. I love his films and adore Frances McDormand even more.

But he doesn't seem like the type who'd feel the need to be closeted...?

Elle said...

#2 - Why did Gwen Stefani pop into my head?

kregger said...

4) Must be the Coen brother married to McDormand...what other "quirky" director gives roles to his wife?

Paperzilla said...

(4) Which quirky director who gives the wife a lot of work must be
doing so in exchange for some heavy bearding? (He's rumored to be one
of them there closet cases.)

This is definitely Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter. He's the quirkiest director around and almost all of his film's have her in some capacity. The only other one that might be a little quirky (but i really doubt he's bearding) is Rob Zombie/Sheri Moon Zombie.

Cheryl said...

15 Diana Ross son Evan Ross. There have been lots of BI and rumors about him.

kregger said...

4) I agree with SG...Burton fits.

30) Zach Efron

34) Mariah?

Cheryl said...

37 Donna Summer

figgy said...

7) Hugh Jackman
40) either Melissa Etheridge or KD Lang.

jax said...

35) Jen A and John Mayer!

or Paris and Benji Madden.

figgy said...

26) Elizabeth Taylor

kregger said...

35) I would SO love this to be Goopy and Affleck...the idea that she gave him herpes and that he is into fisting is too good to be true.

M. said...

I believe 19 is for Chuck Palahniuk of "Fight Club" fame...

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

OMG, is it Christmas already?

Dasha said...

Judd Apatow casts Leslie Mann in his movies, but he doesn't strike me as gay nor do his films strike me as being quirky. YMMV.

Paperzilla said...

(15) What diva's light-skinned son strangely has trouble getting it up?

Evan Ross, son of Diana

(28) Who wrote that movie by dredging up her perspective on her sister
and other family situations, but told the press it was totally original?

Diablo Cody(39) Which star of that cable phenomenon didn't thank her husband at
the Emmys because he20was fucking his female co-star on Broadway around
that time?
SJP?That's all i got!

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Is there a mistake in #20 or am I just not getting it?

RocketQueen said...

1. Take your pic
2. Whitney Houston
3. Agree - Solange
4. Tim Burton
8. Depardieu?
9. Larry Wachowski
10. Winehouse
12. Tony Bennett?
14. Houston again
15. Want to think about this one!
16. L Conrad
18. K Holmes
19. Hemingway?
22. Bill Rancic?
24. Broderick
25. Loren?
27. Holmes again?
28. Writer of "Rachel getting married"?
29. Ridiculous blind
34. Mariah?
35. Paris and Benji though it better not be as she's far from a 'superstar'. I would love for this to be Mayerston :)
36. Gasp! Streep??
37. Michael Jackson?

yodster said...

5) Barry manilow

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

You're missing an obvious possibility for (4): Judd Apatow, who casts his wife (Leslie Mann) in EVERYTHING he does. And it's basically the only work she gets, too.

Having said that, though -- I doubt it's him.

Some other guesses:

(19) Lowell, MA (for Jack Kerouac)?

(25) Kristen Chenoweth?

(28) Like the Jenny Lumet guess, but how about Diablo Cody?

(32) Ernest Lehman (wrote the screenplays for "Sound of Music" and "West Side Story")

(37) Madonna

(40) KD Lang?

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

@Little Miss S&M -- one author's birthplace (19) buries the homosexuality; another author's birthplace (20) openly notes it.

Angela said...

8) Either Vincent Cassel (part of "Ocean's 12", cameo in "Ocean's 13") or Alain Chabat (Napoleon in "A Night In The Museum 2"). Chabat would be the better fit. He's very famous in France as the former head of comic troup "Les Nuls", became a successful movie producer and director, dated a big bosom singer a few years ago.
I can't think of any other French actor getting a part in any US franchise.

4) I disagree with the Joel Coen guess. Coen and Frances McDormand have been married for more than twenty years, long before they got Hollywood "famous". Given the Coens cult status, I don't think they would risk anything if one of them was gay. So, there's no need for a beard. Especially when the wife gets parts every 10 years (Fargo, Burn After Reading).
Similarly, Tim Burton doesn't strike my gaydar. Pussywhipped? Definitely yes. (cf. Lisa Marie being cast in every of his movies for a long time). Gay? Doesn't look like that. He would fit any description of an Asperger's syndrom instead. Besides, his movies don't suck even when he casts his ladyfriend.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

A pimp named DaveR - wow, for a smart girl, I can be an idiot. Thanks. :)

ItsJustMe said...

GASP! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Can't wait to dig into these.

Babs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JW said...

I suspect #34 is Bette Midler. She appeared at a nightclub in our town very early in her career and 30 years later the owner was still complaining about how badly she smelled and how dirty her clothes were "She wore the same dress every night for the whole engagement - and didn't clean it".

Unknown said...

For 37: The Bee Gees?

Angela said...

> A pimp named DaveR

I agree about 28.
Jenny Lumet wouldn't be stupid enough to deny taking inspiration from her parents (not her sister) mixed wedding (Sidney is a Jew, her mother is the daughter of Lena Horne and a white guy). Besides, the dishwasher scene comes straight of an argument between father Sidney and Bob Fosse.
I can clearly see Diablo Cody exploiting her sister's situation and adding hipster douchebag's lines in the dialog.

helenaonwheels said...

#35 - Pam Anderson & Kid Rock

Pinky said...

What about that Gilles guy who was in Sex and the City and Dancing With Stars for the French horndog?

myx n mingle said...

Good thing I got off work early today!

2. Britney

3. Haylie Duff for Hilary Duff

4. Rob Zombie (wife Shelly Moon is in all his movies)

6. Hayden

7. Oh, Tom...

10. Amy Winehouse

18. Katie Holmes

22. Mark Consuelos? (Kelly Ripa's husband)

27. Katie Holmes

30. Obviously Zac Efron

34. Mariah Carey?

35. Paris and all of her bf's

38. JLo, when Diddy was arrested

39. Obviously Sarah Jessica Parker

MISCH said...

35....PROBABLY JOHN AND JEN
BRAD HAS BEEN ON THE HERP LIST FOR YEARS, SO I THINK HE PROBABLY SHARED IT WITH SOME OF HIS PARTNERS....

26. FAYE DUNAWAY ?

34. MARIAH...

mooshki said...

#4 Kevin Smith LOL! (Those of you who are fans will get how funny that is.)

ItsJustMe said...

My guesses:

2. Moo-riah
3. I don't know why the Duff sisters came to mind, but the Knowles are probably the better guess.
7. Hugh Jackman
9. Alexis
10. Fergie
12. Tony B.
14. Whitney
16. Didn't Faith Hill do this to Carrie Underwood?

Unknown said...

4. Tim Burton
6. Leighton Meester
7. Travolta
8. Ocean's 12/13 thief
9. Amanda Lepore
10. Winehouse
11. Cheyenne Jackson? Doubt it
13. Madonna's boy
14. Ashlee Simpson
15. Evan Ross
22. Yeah Consuelos
30. Efron
40. Missy Eliot

Jungle007 said...

1)Every single one of them
2)Gwen/ No doubt
3)Jamie-Lynn Spears or Hayley Duff
4)Judd Apatow
6)Hayden Pantytear
7)Will Smith
8)Shia LeBouef
9)Alexis Arquette
10)Winehouse
12)Tony Bennett
14)Aguilera
15)Diana Ross
22)I agree, Kelly Ripa's hubby
25)Taylor Swift
30)Zac Efron
33)Matthew McConaghey
34)Mariah Carey
35)Britney/ Justin
36)Meryl Streep
37)Lionel Richie
38)JLo/ Puff Daddy
39)Sarah Jessica parker/ Broderick
40)Queen Latifah or Alicia Keys

deepsouthrunner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jungle007 said...

Wait, I'll change 35 to Juliette Lewis/ Brad Pitt. I don't think it's Aniston and Mayer because it's in the vintage section and that was pretty recent.

deepsouthrunner said...

Just some random guesses...

6) Blake Lively?

7) Matthew Broderick?

9) Alexis Arquette?

14) Whitney Houston?

26) Lauren Bacall?

30) Zac Efron?

34) Mariah Carey?

36) Meryl Streep? It doesn't seem like her, but she has been married to a sculptor since 1978 and she is always acclaimed.

38) Jennifer Lopez, when Puff Daddy was arrested in 2000?

40) kd lang?

Paperzilla said...

LOL @ Mooshki!
That crossed my mind as well :)

phaballa said...

#35 isn't Britney/Justin. They broke up because she cheated on him with Wade Robeson. (Although anyone who honestly believes he didn't cheat too is kind of fooling themselves.) We KNOW Paris has herpes. Maybe Paris/whichever Madden she dated?

nancer said...

when i read the superstar/herpes story, i thought of tom and nicole. it's vintage and nobody ever really knew for sure why they split so suddenly.

childeroland said...

I don't think Burton and Carter are married.

RocketQueen said...

@ Andrea - I never knew the whole story with Brit and JT! Who is Wade Robeson?

Angela said...

Besides, all this gossip comes from New York. The married director could be a stage director on Broadway, for instance.

Yes, it's dubious any stage director would feel the need to take a beard but...

phaballa said...

@rocket Queen: Wade was Britney's choreographer, and she introduced him to NSYNC, and he ended up choreographing for them, too. He was super young, like younger than Justin. I think he and Britney were actually the same age and he started choreographing for NSYNC by No Strings Attached, so he was 17 or 18 when they met. He and Justin became best friends. He co-wrote Gone and Pop with Justin, and also wrote Celebrity, I believe. They wrote a song for Britney, too--What It's Like to Be Me.

And then she cheated, and Justin found out supposedly when he found a note from Wade to Britney in her dressing room when she was hosting SNL.

I got all this from, I think, a Rolling Stone piece about Britney a few years ago. The "American tragedy" one, right after she was committed. But it's something that Britney-Justin fans have known for quite a while; the RS article just confirmed it.

Wade still does choreography. He was supposed to do Britney's Circus tour but I think her dad decided to nix that. He does stuff for SYTYCD and had his own show on MTV for a bit called the Wade Robeson Project.

I know way too much about this. Don't judge me.

jax said...

Rocket- he's some choreographer douche.

Jungle007 said...

@ nancer- tom and nicole split because he fell in love with penelope cruz after vanilla sky...

ItsJustMe said...

Wade also has a connection to the Michael Jackson "situation".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wade_Robson

RocketQueen said...

Andrea - no judging here :)

Jungle 007 - you're joking about Tom, right?

RocketQueen said...

PS everyone - Lainey did a GREAT piece today for everyone who hates Paris Hilton. It made my day.
http://www.laineygossip.com/Ebola_Paris_Hilton_terrorises_Cannes_2009.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0

ElsieFire said...

#35: Jen A & Brad P...c'mon, wouldn't THAT put a nail in the little miss jilted story!!!

Cheryl said...

I need to print these out so I can follow all the guesses.

40 is not k.d. lang. She said in an interview that she had never been with a man and always knew she was a lesbian. I'm going with Melissa on this one. Yes, I am!

Audrey said...

Love Barry Manilow for #5 and really disappointed if #19 is Chuck Palahniuk. I've had a crush on him for years!

#4 is Tim Burton/Helena Carter

I don't believe #39 is SJP because that who rumor about his affair had to be fake. Isn't it common knowledge Matthew is gay?

Jill said...

Throwing out a different answer for 10 - Kelly Clarkson. Girl can belt, and I could see her being a lush!

sassenach said...

I don't believe hardly any of these. I especially don't believe Tim Burton for the quirky director item. He dumped his long time love ( who he used to always put in his movies as well) for Helena and it was a nasty breakup. Very nasty. She even had a lawsuit against him which she should have won. If he was gay she would have outed him or blackmailed him for money due to the bitterness of being callously tossed aside for Helena.

MISCH said...

NO NICOLE GOT PREGGERS WHILE DOING MOULIN ROGUE...EVERYONE ON SET KNEW SHE WAS FOOLING AROUND WITH EWAN MCGREGOR....
TOM WAS EMBARRASSED...HE WOULDN'T HAVE CARE IT PEOPLE HAD BELIEVED THE BABY WAS HIS...(LIKE KATIE...HA ON THAT ONE)...
AND THAT WAS THE REASON...

Anonymous said...

Audrey - don't know if he's the answer to the blind, but Chuck has been with his partner for something like fifteen years now. He came out in a voice message posted on chuckpalahniuk.net about five and a half years ago.

He is most definitely crush-worthy though, I'll give you that! I've seen him three times and written to him once and he is nothing if not charming and gracious. :)

(PS - I'm the other Audrey who used to post on occasion. I didn't want to confuse people so I changed my screenname. :> )

FrenchGirl said...

1# one Olsen sister?
2# Avril Lavrigne?
3# Spears sisters or Solange/Beyonce?
4# Tim Burton?
6# again one Olsen Sister?
7# Hugh Jackman!
8# Vinent Cassel!
17# Al Pacino?
18# Hugh Jackman's wife?
21# Woody Allen?
22# husband of Kelly Rippa?
26# Lauren Bacall?
28# Jude Appatow Movie!
34# Mariah Carey!!!!
36# Julianne Moore?
38# JLo/Puff Daddy!
39# Sara Jessica Parker?
40# evey lesbian singer!

FrenchGirl said...

i change my idea for 36# Meryl Streep(rumor about her& De Niro and her&Clint Eastwood)

Majik said...

#36--Julia Roberts--wasn't there a blind about her dashing across the pond to "persuade" someone to do a movie (which they ended up refusing)...she strikes me as a closet "hoor".

Jill said...

I like Chuck Palahniuk for 19; maybe David Sedaris for 20?

redhotpepper said...

I don't think it's Chuck Palahniuk. I went to school with him and live in the area where he was born. I can see the city not commenting on his sexual orientation because what business is it of theirs?!

I've never seen any "materials" from the city that even mention him.

I had the same 5th grade teacher that Chuck says inspired him to write. He was a great teacher.

PotPourri said...

Lots of Hollywood supposedly has Herpes, including Bill Clinton.

lutefisk said...

I am dizzy here from all of this.

cibele said...

6) Jenny from Gossip Girl. I forgot her name.

Cherry Tea said...

How can #39 Be SJP? What am I missing.

Question: Why do you think Tom ended it with Nicole Kidman after finding out she was pregnant? Why do you think he didn't try to pass the child off as his own? As we know, she miscarried though.

Solomon Grundy said...

21) Stephen Daldry, which is fucked up because he was covering up rumors about the little boy from Billy Elliott. But that's Daldry's thing. ::shudder::

MISCH said...

TOM ENDED IT BECAUSE IT WAS TOO PUBLIC, SO MANY PEOPLE ON SET KNEW...THERE WAS NO WAY IT COULD HAVE BEEN HIS...THEY DIDN'T HIDE THE RELATIONSHIP...AND TOM WASN'T AROUND...
BUT IT PROBABLY GAVE HIM THE IDEA FOR HIS CURRENT INVOLVEMENT ...

lmnop123 said...

Hi I don't know most of them but I have

5. Barry Manilow

14. Mariah Carey (made a comeback and remember she had a breakdown and was hospitalized for "exhaustion). Whitney has not had a comeback.

15. Evan Ross

34. Alicia Keyes (she was definitely rough around the edges when she first started and even commented about people thinking she was gay as a result of this behavior).

Anonymous said...

I disagree with the Solange/Beyonce guess. The Duffs fit better. I've heard Solange sing live, and Beyonce. They're both great, but distinctly different as singers. And if Solange could really sing like that behind the scenes, changing her voice to create her own style, I would be surprised her father didn't push her into a career much sooner, given his love of all things $$$

Majik said...

How does being lesbian=poor table manners and hygiene? That just doesn't make sense.

nancer said...

ok, but why would people not have believed it was his? shit, some people believe suri's his. what's the difference?

selenakyle said...

Good God Almighty! My mind is BLOWN by this expansive array of blind dirt!

Just came off two days primitive camping and this is the first post I read upon my return to CDAN.

Too much, I tell ya, toooooo much!

lmnop123 said...

Majik, are you responding to my post?

If so here's my response:

Alicia was known as being "rough around the edges" when she first started out. She discussed this in an interview and also said because she was so rough people also thought she was a lesbian but she isn't.

Cecilia00 said...

36) Julia Roberts & Moder

sunnyside1213 said...

Tommy boy always says, "Nic knows what she did."

MISCH said...

NANCER....
WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF AFTER EVERYTHING HAPPENED ...HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF...IF I SAY IT'S MINE ..IT'S MINE..HELL I DIDN'T HAVE TO GET A DIVORCE ...
WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE...DARN..

PollyPureBred said...

Yaaay for the return of Florent!!

gigi said...

It's funny how most everyone's mind immediately go to the same person, even though there are obviously plenty of options.

#4 seems like it should be obvious (I def thought of Tim Burton at first, but if Terrance's story is true that's a good argument against him.) Neither the Cohen bro or Judd Apatow strike me as gay at all.

I'm confused #39...obviously SJP and Broderick but I always thought he was gay? Now he's a womanizer?

Sinjin said...

@Stardust, I don't think it's Gilles, he strikes me as a very caring,sensitive family man.

I think it's Vincent Cassel (the rich thief in the Ocean's 11, 12, 13,etc which would be a movie franchise). I do get the manwhore vibe from him.

shakey said...

Okay, I'm going to make my list before I look at all the comments. I'm probably wrong on most but this was fun anyway.

1. Lohan
2. Bon Jovi
3. Jessica for Ashlee or vice versa
4. Tim Burton. I feel this in my bones.
6. Heigl
7. Will Smith (can't be Cruise because $cios frown upon that)
9. Alexis Arquette
11. Clay Aiken
12. Tony Bennett (sorry, he was my first thought)
13. Jesus Luz
17. John Lithgow
20. Truman Capote
26. Lauren Bacall
31. Either Cindy Adams or Liz Smith
32. Marvin Hamlisch
34. Mariah Carey
35. I so want this to be Reese'n'Ryan
37. Donna Summer
38. J LO!

whole lotto luv said...

(4) I agree with Terrance's logic on Tim Burton - Helena sorta stole Kenneth Branaugh from Emma Thompson, then she sorta stole Tim Burton from Lisa Marie. I agree since she filed a lawsuit, she'd out him if there was something to out, and why would he dump her for Helena if he was already bearded? Maybe David Lynch?

(11) Nathan Lane?

(34) I bet Mariah still turns to whomever is next to her and says, "cut my meat," but now she says it with a lot more authority.

Angela said...

I insist on 8)
Vincent Cassel is married to Monica Bellucci. If it were him, the juicy part would be him having affairs behind her back, not having a dick of fire.
Besides, "Ocean's 12" was made in 2004. It would be hard to say that Cassel is "now part of a franchise" after five years and no "Ocean's 14" in sight.
Alain Chabat would be a much better fit as "A Night At The Museum 2" opens tomorrow and Ben Stiller has an unfortunate tendency to make unnecessary sequels ("Meet The Little Focker", anyone?)

shakey said...

Mooshki, I can't help but marry quirky director with Tim Burton because all I see is Kevin Smith's impersonation of him!

mo pie said...

I am thinking J. Lo for number two because of the "mucho" and because of past rumors about her....?

sassafrass said...

Somebody mentioned earlier printing these, I did that too. Makes it easier following the guesses. You guys are so good.

Babs said...

8) Jean Reno (Pink Panther 1&2)

Stephe96 said...

#4 I don't know how 'quirky' he is, but the first name that popped into my head was Darren (The Wrestler) Aronofsky and wife Rachel Weisz (sp).

Kerstin said...

The deal w/ Tom & Nicole was that she'd marry him and play wifey (and beard) in return for 12 leading roles in studio films.

Explains why she keeps getting parts although all her films tank :)

Lady J said...

1. Robert Downey Jr.
2. Gwen Stefani
3. Hillary/Haley Duff or Jamie Lynn/Britney Spears (Can't be Beyonce, she can actually sing)
4. Tim Burton
6. one of the Gossip Girls
7. Will Smith-his flamboyanceness (is that a word) has been coming out quite a bit lately in interviews. I don't think he will be able to contain it much longer.
9. Alexis Arquette
10. I like the Kelly Clarkson guess
14. Mariah
15. Diana Ross, her son Evan Ross
18. Katie Holmes
30. Zach Efron
34. Whitney
36. Julia Roberts/Danny Moder
37. Donna Summer
38. Jennifer Lopez, Puff Daddy (she ACTUALLY FOAMED at the mouth HIL A RIOUS
39. Sounds like SJP and MB (so he's NOT gay?)

watcher said...

(19) Which American author's birthplace studiously omits his homosexuality from all materials and resents any attempt to get it mentioned?

What about Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892). He was born in Huntington, Long Island, though lived most of his life elsewhere. There's a high school and a mall named after him. There's a website for his family house. No mention of homosexuality that I could find.

watcher said...

(20) Which author's birthplace doesn't?

How about Truman Capote, born New Orleans. The city's official tourism website has an article "A Rich Gay Heritage".

http://www.neworleansonline.com/neworleans/glbt/glbt-heritage.html

Truman spent much of his childhood in Monroeville, Alabama as a childhood friend of To Kill a Mockingbird author Harper Lee.

watcher said...

(13) Which Brazilian hustler keeps his cash in his mattress rather than report it to the authorities? (Not that I know any Brazilian hustlers, mind you. I got this from a friend of a friend.)

Isn't tax avoidance quite common in Brasil? It could be any Brasilian man with some fame who is a spokesperson for various products.

watcher said...

(8) Which French actor, who's now part of a franchise, is known for having a "dick of fire"? (I.e., he can't seem to stick it in enough
orifices — all of them les girls', alas).

Jean Reno has been guessed for Pink Panther 1 & 2. He was born Juan Moreno in 1948 Casablanca to Spanish Andalusian parents. Moved to France age 17 and got French citizenship by doing national service. So he is French and he now lives in New York, where the author of the blinds appears to be located. Also he is age 60, and "now part of a franchise" after many Hollywood hits.

For information about him see this article:
http://www.francemag.com/celebrity-interviews-jean-reno-a-man-for-all-seasons--136234


Gerard Depardieu has two French "franchises":

* Asterix & Obelix vs. Caesar (1999)
* Asterix & Obelix: Mission Cleopatra (2002)
* Asterix at the Olympic Games (2008)

* Jean de Florette (1986)
* Manon des Sources (1986)

The blind doesn't say it has to be an American franchise. However, it doesn't look like Gerard fits the clue "now part of a franchise" because his are not recent.

Sean said...

35 is Kid Rock for sure. Don't ask how I know that

M. said...

For those of you who've mentioned Tom Cruise, while I am not a fan of Tom Cruise at ALL, I recently read the unauthorized biography of his life by Andrew Morton and it offered up a lot of interesting information and perspective to his past and history that has become uber urban legend over the years (like the whole back story on the "practicing monk" comment that first wife Mimi Rogers made in an interview long ago...). While I don't believe everything I read from cover to cover, I do have to admit that Morton offered up some very interesting arguments, perspectives and interviews with folks who would have known what was going on at those times in his life.

Just saying, its worth reading for those who want more food for thought on many of the more salacious rumors that have surrounded him for years as well as (for me at least) a fascinating inside view of what Nicole Kidman is supposedly really like, radically different than I expected than the persona she portrays for magazine interviews.

kregger said...

I say the answer to ALL of these blinds is one person: GOOPY!

Linnea said...

Wow guys, amazing job all around! I am spent, good thing this is a very slow news day so little to do at work...

2- shouldn´t this be a male star? "a songwriter who has stepped into a working-class rock band..." Maybe I am old-fashioned but I can´t think of a female singer for a working class rock band.

3- I don´t think its Beyonce/Solange. That girl can sing, no?

6 - sounds like HP. Drugs can do that to ya...

17- what does "on the boards" mean? my mind went straight to franco, since he is talking about his college experiences everywhere.

29 -What on earth does this mean?

phaballa said...

(10) Isn't Kelly Clarkson. I've seen her live and she puts on an amazing show. This seems like it should be more obvious--Amy Winehouse or Lily Allen, someone known for drinking.

(3) Isn't Britney, because Jamie Lynn can't sing. I'd say Jessica/Ashlee, but Jessica's voice is WAY different than Ashlee's. The Duff sisters sound almost exactly the same, however. I'd go with them.

(2) Has to be someone who's worked with Green Day, yes?

Eve said...

The director with a beard for a wife is Ben Stiller, amirite?

RocketQueen said...

Shakey - great answers!

Sean - details please :)

kanonymous said...

Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter are not married so they cannot be #4.

kanonymous said...

"(Sidney is a Jew, her mother is the daughter of Lena Horne and a white guy)."


Actually, Jenny Lumet's mother's father was a black guy, not a white guy. Her mother, Lena Horne, was married to a white (Jewish) man, but her children were from her first husband, who was black.

rosiethejafa said...

I'm with Eve on Ben Stiller for #4

Three sisters said...

19 and 20: I really like everyone's guesses, but I can't see Portland, Oregon being upset about Chuck Palahniuk's homosexuality, its a pretty hippie, accepting city, lol.

I can however see Raleigh, North Carolina, being upset with David Sedaris' homosexuality, however if they are omitting it from all materials they are doing a terrible job, hahaha.

Sophie S. said...

Geez, this is an overload. IMA do it 5 at a time.

1. Not a woman. The obvious answers are women, but the gender is never specified, which means it's a man.

2. Bon Jovi

3. haylie/hillary duff

these are my guesses. the unknown will keep me up at noght.

Unknown said...

36 - Meryl Streep?WTH

Advertisements

Popular Posts from the last 30 days