A. Reader's Brush With Death
After a long hard day of work in the Hollywood trenches, I was headed home to my loyal canine and some much needed R&R. Unbeknownst to me I was about to see my life flash before my eyes. (OK Enty, so maybe I'm being a TAD bit dramatic but when it comes to this actress I know you'll take all the fodder you can get, exaggerated or not).
I was approaching a somewhat busy intersection on a 2 lane road that runs perpendicular to Sunset, near Beverly Hills (and that's as specific as I'll get, lest my stalker emerge victorious from his parole hearing next week). As I was going into the left hand turn lane I see a Range Rover frantically whipping a u-turn just south of where I was. Thinking this is another angeleno idiot who can't drive, I didn't pay it TOO much mind except to make sure I stayed out of the crazed drivers way.
Then, from the side street to my right comes a black Lexus. It was trying to go behind me to turn left into northbound traffic, only it looked like it was headed right FOR me. Ready to let loose a steady stream of expletives I looked over at the driver only to notice there's a hell of a lot of traffic on this non-descript Beverly Hills street. Driver was hot but come on, hot guys driving nice cars are a dime a dozen in LA. I proceeded to turn left, driver turned off the side street to turn left, going across the southbound lane of traffic and as we passed each other I looked again and realized, it was Balthazar Getty. And, in the seat next to him, who else but Sienna Miller looking like she had just popped up from giving him a little under the hood action of her own.
Now, dear Sienna, didn't you drive to the Beverly Hills police begging for protection from the paparazzi just the other day? Does it not seem unwise to you to drive back into the same vicinity where you were chased by them before, only this time bringing the married boyfriend they are all dying to get a picture of you with? I know, I know, you are just trying to live your life like any normal woman sleeping with another girl's husband. But you know what? Price of fame, darlin. Like the ulcers you high maintenance actors have given me over the years, it comes with the territory. So if you want to continue your jet setting (with another woman's husband), your being a lady who lunches (with another woman's husband), and your sunbathing topless (with another woman's husband) then either quit your bitchin or do me a favor and stay off the road!
I was approaching a somewhat busy intersection on a 2 lane road that runs perpendicular to Sunset, near Beverly Hills (and that's as specific as I'll get, lest my stalker emerge victorious from his parole hearing next week). As I was going into the left hand turn lane I see a Range Rover frantically whipping a u-turn just south of where I was. Thinking this is another angeleno idiot who can't drive, I didn't pay it TOO much mind except to make sure I stayed out of the crazed drivers way.
Then, from the side street to my right comes a black Lexus. It was trying to go behind me to turn left into northbound traffic, only it looked like it was headed right FOR me. Ready to let loose a steady stream of expletives I looked over at the driver only to notice there's a hell of a lot of traffic on this non-descript Beverly Hills street. Driver was hot but come on, hot guys driving nice cars are a dime a dozen in LA. I proceeded to turn left, driver turned off the side street to turn left, going across the southbound lane of traffic and as we passed each other I looked again and realized, it was Balthazar Getty. And, in the seat next to him, who else but Sienna Miller looking like she had just popped up from giving him a little under the hood action of her own.
Now, dear Sienna, didn't you drive to the Beverly Hills police begging for protection from the paparazzi just the other day? Does it not seem unwise to you to drive back into the same vicinity where you were chased by them before, only this time bringing the married boyfriend they are all dying to get a picture of you with? I know, I know, you are just trying to live your life like any normal woman sleeping with another girl's husband. But you know what? Price of fame, darlin. Like the ulcers you high maintenance actors have given me over the years, it comes with the territory. So if you want to continue your jet setting (with another woman's husband), your being a lady who lunches (with another woman's husband), and your sunbathing topless (with another woman's husband) then either quit your bitchin or do me a favor and stay off the road!
24 comments:
I almost started clapping at my desk. Someone should make sure she reads this...*L*
As if we needed another reason to hate her. NOBODY MESSES WITH A CDAN READER!!!! She's going down! (And not the way she's used to.)
"Sienna (sex sells) Miller"
Hah!
poor Sienna, branded forever as the homewrecking whore!
This is Angelina's wet dream.
damn, you angelenos have all the fun!!
To bad they didn't hit a pot hole while she was giving him road head.
I hate that Sienna so! Every time I read about this crap with Balzblahlah I remember her mother's quote about how "disappointed" they all were in Jude when it turned out he was screwing the nanny. Wonder how "disappointed" ole mom is over her daughter acting like a ho with another woman's husband and father of 4.
I thought she was so stylish when she first hit the scene but I now I can't get past my disgust. You go Enty. I am always up for snark on sienna miller
For those people who are about to ask why we're still ragging on her and not him, my response is that at least she's an entertaining asshole - he's just a boring one.
i like that slut
I think they should have a reality show.
Princess Buttercup, Sienna's Mother Defends Her, claiming there's nothing wrong with what she's doing. Per my comment there, one wonders just what ELSE mummy taught her was okay:
Fucking married men: CHECK
Destroying families by going after them: Check
Making sure your whore ways are splashed all over the news, to rub the family's face in it: CHECK
We know mom taught her all that is okay, so how about drugs? Drunk driving? Not using protection and becoming a walking STD factory?
Dear old mum sounds like an idiot in that she sees no issues with being a home-wrecker, or with posing naked with the men she's sleeping with. Also brings into question what all mum's done in her life with Sienna to teach her to mimic this crap.
Crucify her. Make every loose dick in the world be terrified to come within 500 feet of her for fear of the backlash. She'll get no sympathy from me for being a whore and making sure she broadcasts it to the world (and the families she's happy to destroy).
For those people who are about to ask why we're still ragging on her and not him, my response is that at least she's an entertaining asshole - he's just a boring one.
Okay, okay, Mooshki. I'll forgo my "Balthazar's just as much of an ass as Sienna is" comment then. :-)
"For those people who are about to ask why we're still ragging on her and not him, my response is that at least she's an entertaining asshole - he's just a boring one."
Yes, Mooshki. EXACTLY.
I do like the reminders that it takes two to cheat, just don't need another one quite yet. :)
Sienna should just leave and meet up with Rielle Hunter. They could start a support group for home wrecking skanks!
I just can't understand why he would give up Rosetta, a beautiful, classy woman for this slut who can't keep her clothes on. Idiot. I hope they fire him from Brothers & Sisters.
The Street That Shall Not Be Named? It was Doheny, wasn't it? That corner (Sunset/Doheny) has a wicked-mean blind spot. Almost been in a fender bender or ten there myself.
whats her deal? I know not everyone is like 100 percent evil but this girl can't be 100 percent immoral right? I mean she was born with a conscious right? Is there a back story about how her mom like programmed her to be a one woman destroyer of all love and marriage? Or is she some kind of succubus who gets really sleazy guys to out themselves to the world. I really hate Getty now like if I met him I think I might even tell him which is saying a lot cause I'm super shy and never gone up to celebrity unless introduced. I even had a football star come into my store and have me check him out and I didn't say anything...btw he so gay like I felt that meter go beep as soon as he walked in.
I object to the use of the word "lady" to describe Sienna. "Female" or "woman", but not lady. Even the kindest and most generous of souls (which I am decidedly not) would protest the appropriateness and accuracy of that noun in application to Sienna. I doubt even Balthazar would think it was a fair usage.
hee hee.
Can't believe you had Sienna Miller within the crosshairs and didn't deliberately run them off the road or something.
You are a noble, noble human being.
Me - not so much. I'd have broadsided them at 95 mph and claimed I was having a seizure or something.
Oh well. I'm not very nice like that.
Dear Baby Jesus,
Please let Slutty's twinky rot in Bath's mouth. I will quit touching myself down there, and will not cuss for 2 days. Please let her fall in a gutter of maggots and be impaled on a railroad tie. Please let an escaped and crazy, vd infested convict, stalk and skull fuck her with the rotting leg of a mad cow.
Amen
"I will quit touching myself down there, and will not cuss for 2 days."
Hee!!!
Enty-
I will have your name tatooed on me if you can get Slutty to have an emotional breakdown in public.
I am starting a website devoted to the loathing and public humliation of the skank. I also think I am going to name a VD after her...oh wait, Ia m sure there is already one or 5 named for her. If I am not mistaken, it is the one that makes you want to burn your own puss off, rather than to have even the same anatomy as her. She has graduated from Dutchess of Slut to
Cuntessa.
I beat off to Sienna Miller's photo in this post, and made my nursing assistant clean it up.
ack was iced by the mob because Bobby double crossed them. Bobby was iced by Ethel for fucking around on her. Bobby iced Marilyn Monroe after he knocked her up because the cunt threatened to tell Ethel. Rosemary's frontal lobes were iced by Dad in one of his little "experiments" gone bad.
And I iced that cunt Mary Jo K. because the bitch threatened to tell Joan. Stupid cunt could swim, but I held her fucking head under water until she shit in the water and then died.
And I now return to my regularly scheduled programming of drooling uncontrollably and soiling my Depends. Because I'm Dead Kennedy and, like Rosemary, I am fucking brain damaged.
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