Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I'm Rich!!!

I'm rich. I just wanted all of you to be the first to know and to thank you for it. Here is the e-mail showing me just how rich I am and of course my response.


Dear Friend,

I am glad to inform you that I have successfully concluded the transaction,the money has been transferred to Australia through the assistant of Mr.Howard Ferraro who is an Australian based businessman.Currently I am in Australia now.However,I did not forget you because you are the source of my success,you made me what I am now though you are not there to complete this project with me but I gave all the credit and thanks to you.I know it is not your fault or rather your wish to back off on me and the transaction,I understand it was simply because of some circumstances you could not control. In appreciate of your assistance I have mapped out as a compensation and wrote on your favor a certified bank draft worth of 2.7 Million Euro(Two Million Seven Hundred Thousand Euro Only) I left the draft with my managaer Mr Gerado Fischer on my departure to Australia.I would like you to contact him on the below info and instruct him where to send the draft to because i have directed him.

Attn:Mr Gerado Fischer
Email Address to contact:geradofischer@aim.com

As soon as you recieve the draft you let me know because i am busy here trying to put things together and may not be chanced to email you frequently.Feel free to contact him for your bank draft.I will stop here.Once again,thank you very much and remain blessed.

Regards,
Mr Damle Ahsok.

Dear Damle,

Thank you so much for the money. You have no idea how much it is going to come in handy. I'm trying to move from parent's place, but the nickles and dimes that fall into the couch are not adding up to the deposit as quickly as I would have liked. So, when you did this for me, I jumped up and nearly split my pants. That wouldn't have been pretty. I hate doing laundry so, sometimes I go commando. I keep hoping that if I go to the laundromat I will run into Pamela Anderson? Do you know her? Baywatch. Yeah, she is the blond. Wait, they all are. Well, just look her up on the internet.

I want to thank you for making out the check in my name. My name isn't friend though and so a check like that might be tough to cash. Plus, I'm not really into checks right now. I could say it was because of the credit crisis, but honestly, it is just that my bank and I don't get along. Apparently when you have a negative balance they expect you to make it current, and long story short, they kind of closed it. I would take it to one of those check cashing places, but I don't think they have enough money to cover it. Plus, have you ever been in one of those places? The lines are outrageous. Do you have check cashing places in Romania? You must right? I mean lots of people need pay day advances in the world not just here.

Thanks for giving me all the credit for your success, but that seems a little unwarranted. I mean what did I really do? I opened your e-mail. Sure, I was sending out good vibes and kept following The Secret wishing for money. Did you get the vibes? I guess that book works huh? Have you read it? It is pretty tough to follow, but I guess we are both quick learners. Well, I am quick for most things but one of my friends takes this stats class, and I have to say that when she starts talking about it my mind goes into this deep glassy eyed haze. It is kind of like being drunk, but without the buzz. Do you get drunk? I don't really get drunk, I just like to stay at a constant mellow state. I find sipping vodka out of a coffee cup at work does the trick pretty well. Plus, it makes the days go by quicker if you know what I mean. I guess you do since you are some big shot business type guy.

So, I will send an e-mail to Gerardo. Hey, he isn't by any chance the same Gerardo is he? I always wondered what happened to Gerardo? Who knew that Rico Suave would be his only hit. It is kind of my theme song so it will be cool to actually talk to him. There is hardly a day that goes by when I don't tell my secretary, "Rico" and make her answer back "Suave." Sometimes when it gets to be about the 34th time of the day she uses a different word to answer me back, but I won't get into that right now because I'm sure she wouldn't want people to know she has a vocabulary like that.

As soon as I get the money I will let you know and then maybe we could hang out in Australia together. I think it is summer there now or something close to it. We could hit the beaches. I love the beach. Sure, I get the odd beached whale comment, but I don't mind. Hey, will you do me a favor. Will you flush a toilet there and see if the water goes down the opposite direction? I'll wait. Go ahead.

Anyway, I really wanted to thank you again. This is like the best day I have had since I discovered dirty martinis. Now that I think about it though the next day was awful. Apparently olive juice is not necessarily a good thing for your digestive tract if you drink a quart of it. But live and learn I suppose.

EL

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I got a scam email and responded that if he didn't stop sending me emails asking for money I would report him to the cops. Up to now I haven't seen any type of scam emails LOL.

mrchgrl said...

Bahahahaah!
Good one, Enty!

Can you spare some cash for a poor old merch girl?

PS... Christella M will here in be known as mrchgrl (I am in fact one and the same!) and I don't want to confuse anybody. *plus, the pic is way better on the mrchgrl account! :P)

jax said...

Gift is gonna be jealousss..

WriterMommy said...

Jax, I was just thinking that. :)

kris said...

aw man!!! I thought I was the only one Damle wrote to...cheater...

Ms. said...

@Sylvia

Most of these scams originate out of The Netherlands because of their lax laws and lack of international treaties with regard to scams, extradition, copyright and on and on it goes.

Sounds like you got the one US scammer. BTW, when respond to any type of spam/scam, you greatly increase the likelihood of more spam because you just verified your email address as valid.

selenakyle said...

Any of y'all ever hear of Tom Mabe? He pulls some crazy stuff like this right back on telemarketers and their ilk.
Funny, funny stuff.

selenakyle said...

p.s. mrchgrl, that is a good pic!

Ms. said...

Yeah, it is a good pic. Is it you? Not being facetious, just that lots of people use other images for their avatar.

Molly said...

share the dough, enty. i'd like some money to give michelle obama so she can get a better dress for the inauguration than the one she had on last night. i really didn't like that narciso rodriguez number.

Anonymous said...

Ms. it probably went into our quarantine so it ends up being blocked.

selenakyle said...

I liked it and wondered who she wore. Surprised it wasn't that one designer she wore a lot during the campaign (can't think of the name).

If I had booty or hips I'd want that kind of slimming design, too. But she's 6 feet tall, so she's got some figure to cover.

Kinda reminded me of Gwynnie's weird frontal-decorated B&W dress that Lainey cracked on recently.

Kids' dresses were sweet as can be. Cannot WAIT to watch those beautiful girls grow up and run amok in the WH.

They're gonna have the WH staff wrapped solid, no joke.

Sorry--went OT again and back on the Red Bull here at only 4:12pm est.

lutefisk said...

Wow--you can really stock up on Chicken in a Bisquit Crackers with that type of money. No more looking behind cushions for random cracker crumbs!

ms snarky said...

Ha. I got an email from Kofi Annan promising to pay me reparations for all the money I've lost to scammers. Yes, Kofi Annan himself, as he proved by including a photo in the email.

The former head of the United Nations is going to personally guarantee funds going into my checking account, as soon as I send him my account information. It's just a matter of days, and possibly some small transfer fees.

I have friends in high places. Beat that, Ent!

Molly said...

selenakyle, i think she dresses very well, but the sweater made it look too casual for me. the girls were beautiful tho!! and she'd look stunning in a gunnysack.

ms snarky, it pays to be queen of snark, eh? even kofi knows about you.

selenakyle said...

I agree, mol--they had noted how warm it was in Chi-town yesterday but apparently she needed the shrug for warmth being outside at midnight.

I did wonder what the neckline and sleeves looked like.

Shoot, I can probably find it online right now with the sheer amount of time I have wasted today pretending to work while hubby is off fishing a tournament.

jax said...

i thought it was all one piece?
looked that way on tv.

mrchgrl said...

selenakyle, thanks!!! It's from a photoshoot I did for my company! :D

ms. , yes, it IS me! The one for Christella M is too, but it's a bit out of date (considering I'm not brunette anymore!)

Molly said...

here's the dress online worn by a model:

http://la.racked.com/archives/2008/11/05/politics_of_fashion_michelle_obama_chooses_narciso_rodriguez_for_election_night.php


i wish we could post pics here but that might be dangerous.


mrchgirl, you're so cute!! love the photo!!

Molly said...

selena, meant to add grant park is on lake michigan and we're the windy city, so she was probably cool last night. the dress didn't look as heavy as the girls dresses did.

noel said...

Hahaha!!! I love the gift gags...

As for "friend" being on the check- all you have to do is take the pic of Ted and you'll be swweeeet...

selenakyle said...

Just checked out Narciso's Spring '09 line at style.com and I love 90% of it.
A lot of choices to hide a plethora of figure flaws for real people, not just praying-mantis models.
I'll bet Michelle looked tiny slim from way out in the crowd, live. That'd be my druthers!

Semi-OT, Palin's wardrobe always bugged me cuz whenever she raised her arms the jacket or blouse or dress would ride up too far. Improper alterations.

selenakyle for political stylist!

Maja With a J said...

*LOL* I love these. Say hello to Gift for me!

bionic bunny! said...

actually, i think a lot of these originated several years ago in nigeria, thus the name "nigerian scam".
and somebody somewhere came down hard on these and the viagra ads in the last couple of weeks, because my in box has been pretty empty since i got home, thank the lord!
either that or my junk file finally got the hint!

slappywhyte said...

jax #4 checking in...

Amber said...

Mrchgirl/Christella, I think I know you in real life actually! Are you friends with a girl named Vanessa?

Molly said...

one of the things i love about michelle obama is that she isn't tiny slim. she's 5'11" and athletic looking with bigger than fashion model thighs. she's a beautiful woman and for once we're not getting a nancy reagan 'body so tiny her head looks like something off a float' woman in the white house. not that barbara bush was small, but she looked like everyone's grandma.

amber, how funny would that be if you knew mrchgirl?

Maja With a J said...

I got a really good one of these in my email today! I posted it on my blog - not to try to be like enty (impossible!) or anything, but mine has a few really awesome details in it!

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