Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Dina Lohan's Autobiography Is Being Released In December- Exclusive Chapter Titles

Yesterday Dina Lohan's publishing company announced that Dina's book will be released in December just in time for fireplaces and plenty of places to burn it to keep warm. In their press release the publisher said,

"Birdstreet Books, Inc. is pleased to offer this platform for Dina Lohan to address the rumors, misinformation and unsubstantiated stories often generated about her and her family by the tabloid press. Dina feels the public has often misunderstood her life and she has worked diligently over the past year to write this book, proving her dedication to truthfully and fairly represent herself and her children."

I don't think anyone misunderstands her life. I don't. Do you? I think we all pretty much know she is money and fame hungry and will have her kids do anything to make it for her. Here are some of the chapters in the book which is entitled,  "I'm Not An Addict - The True Story Of St. Dina And Her Angels"

Chapter One - I Was A Rockette
Chapter Two - Michael Lohan Beat Me
Chapter Three- Michael Lohan Cheated On Me
Chapter Four - God Speaks To Me
Chapter Five - I Was Named Mother Of The Year
Chapter Six - Lindsay Has Done Coke Once In Her Life - Thought It Was Baby Powder
Chapter Seven- Dr. Phil Is A Liar
Chapter Eight - I Don't Drink (since removed because of her DUI arrest)
Chapter Nine - Lindsay
Chapter Ten - Lindsay
Chapter Eleven - Lindsay
Chapter Twelve - I Love Lindsay
Chapter Thirteen - Michael Doesn't Love Lindsay
Chapter Fourteen - Ali Is The World's Highest Paid Model
Chapter Fifteen - Lindsay
Chapter Sixteen - Lindsay
Chapter Seventeen - Lindsay Is Going To Win An Oscar
Chapter Eighteen - Oprah Is My Best Friend aka Gayle King Can Suck It
Chapter Nineteen - Lindsay
Epilogue - I have two other kids but Lindsay is my favorite.

34 comments:

LottaColada said...

Just stop. That was not funny.

auntliddy said...

Just ugh. Who wants ti read about thus self involved twit? Altho, the book will probably be unintentionally hilarious, lol

Bacon Ranch said...

Amen Lotta.
Hell, I stopped at that picture.

VIPblonde said...

Um, Dina has three other kids. Good try though

Meanie Rhysie said...

Shit, how could you get past that picture?!

FSP said...

Is that pic what I think it is?

rll said...

There's already an Idiot's Guide to Pimping on amazon

Desiree said...

I'm really throwed off by that picture. Just EWWWWWWWWWW

ethorne said...

Ugghh that pic!! I can't even tell who is who!!

MISCH said...

I wonder if she knows she has to pay for the remainders ?

Bacon Ranch said...

@FSP IIRC Dina tried to explain the picture away when it first came out. She said she was just leaning over to whisper something in Lindsay's ear.
While sitting on her lap.

Because they're close like that.

Susan said...

I think I caught a disease just looking at that picture.

Well, here's to hoping that one of their offspring is wise enough to break the awful pattern of behavior set by the parents.

PugsterMom said...

That was hysterical.

MM said...

I just vomited in my mouth from that photo.

Its just U said...

I kiss my daughters. I kiss my mother.
I DO NOT EVER look like that doing it.
That is rank.

Gertie Raus said...

Dude, are LiLo and Dina making out?!? Ewwww!

FSP said...

Thanks BR.

DewieTheBear said...

Lotta, I can't like your comment enough. Jesus fucking christ. Nothing about this was amusing.

Orvilla Bedinbacher said...

The only thing good about this entry is that pic. Man, blast from the past! Such a good one!

Terri said...

Isn't htis the publishing co that Dr. Phil's son owns? That might explain how he got the interview last year.

D Brown said...

Did they omit the chapter on "How Ali has been self supporting since a very young age"?

VIPblonde said...

You think that pic's bad? You should see the one of them doing ass to ass!

HannahBanana said...

This woman needs to STOP w/ the shenanigans. Truth is, I consider what she does w/ her children no better than some 3 rd world country where ppl sell their children to eat.


Or a human trafficking ring....she is so vile. I hope NO ONE buys this trash. Supporting her would be a crime, literally.

OKay said...

Look, I can't stand this woman either but she is clearly NOT kissing her daughter in that pic. Her mouth is closed. She looks like she's passing out, actually. Get a grip, people.

Meanie Rhysie said...

Aw, @CeeKay....we like to clutch our pearls every now and then!

*L*

Marisa said...

LOLs

ladybaus said...

Thats right Dina! The truth will come out girl. Freckled Freedom!!!!!

parissucksliterally said...

Autobiography? ALL LIES.

I would read a tell all about her by someone else though.

ethorne said...

@Cee Kay, I don't know what pic you're looking at, but in the one above both their tongues are visible and slobbering on each other. Everything about that pic is incredibly nasty.

Anonymous said...

AAAAAH!!!That picture!! My GAWD! Brain bleach please.

Seven of Eleven said...

@ethorne, I'm taking your word for it. One glimpse when I clicked on the title was enough. GAH!!

FlakyB said...

I see that as the joke! She's so out of it she forgot one.

Unknown said...

Exactly. And it was funny too.

Anonymous said...

Incest and child abuse has many faces. It's not just illiterate bogans who give their babies bourbon and coke to get them to sleep so they can enjoy watching their soaps and getting high.

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