Wednesday, August 20, 2008

That Explains Some Things

Because I love each of you, I try my best to keep photos of Verne Troyer from appearing on the site very often. I am here to make your day bright and sunny, and not fill it with images that will keep you awake all night. This prohibition does not extend however to FFF. Yes, you will all have Ozzy Osbourne's peen melded into your brain for all times.

But, just because I haven't posted it doesn't mean that Verne hasn't been photographed. He has been everywhere lately. At first I thought it was to counter all that bad publicity about the sex tape. Then, I thought it was because he didn't have a girlfriend anymore, so he was going to all these events to find someone who got drunk enough to give that viper tongue a whirl.

As it turns out though, Verne is filming a reality show. He hasn't sold it to anyone yet. He is just running around town with a crew of guys filming his life. So, do the cameras turn off when he gets home, because honestly I want to know how that whole thing with the ex is going back at his place. I want to know if she is still alive, and if so, are they yelling at each other all the time. Does she throw him a bone so to speak every now and again? Does he have a toilet in the living room and the kitchen, or just in one room?

So many questions about the home. Watching him go from club to club doesn't sound all that appealing. If it were appealing, I would post more of his photos, so buyers, you need to think about that. As for auditions, I doubt he really goes on many. I mean it isn't like he is going to replace Bruce Willis in Die Hard 5 - The Retirement Home.


life is but a dream said...

viper tongue?! verne troyer?!

no photo necessary... bring on the nightmares.

jax said...

"Send in the clone!!!"

Reese said...

Ugh; a Verne Troyer reality show would make "The Hills" look like "Masterpiece Theater" by comparison.

shakey said...

Hooray for Hollywood!

Verne Troyer on FFF. I'd rather have Ozzy (although I didn't find the picture that bad).

Die Hard 6 - The Viagra Years.

jw12 said...

OH GOD NO!!! I will never click on FFF if Verne is in there. I think I just vomited in my mouth a little.

kris said...


Cheryl said...

Die Hard 7 - Just Die Already!

Merlin D. Bear said...


Can someone please pass the bleach?

Anonymous said...

LOL @ Viper Tongue

Ayesha said...

I know I always drag out this old piece of trivia, but sometimes I read or see things and they stick in my head and I think everyone would enjoy them.

Verne had this sweet, addled bleach blonde girlfriend who was a titty model or something. She said that she shaved her entire body every day. (I'm assuming she meant her legs and crotch and arms and pits and stuff. I don't think her eyebrows and head...) Can you imagine? I guess some women really spend time maintaining their look. But my god! She seemed very insecure even though she was relatively pretty. Apparently a lot of pretty women have that problem.


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