Monday, August 18, 2008

What Do Will & Grace, Star Wars And Booze All Have In Common? My Saturday Night With Dad


Yeah, I know, I know, I could be spending thousands of words talking about the Ellen and Portia wedding, but you know I am never going to do that unless Calista Flockhart was there and ate some food or something. Anyway, I would much rather talk about Saturday night. Dad fired up the mini-van and since he can't actually drive the thing anymore, he unlocked the basement door and told me to drive him to the ArcLight (movie theatre) so he could see Star Wars. Somehow mom got out of this. I don't know if she had to put out or what, but she got out of this horrible duty.

Saturday night. Sunset and Vine. 99 Dodge Caravan. With my dad. Good times.

Oh, it gets better. The movie he dragged me out to see was Star Wars. Yep. See, dad has been going to these things since the beginning. He even has one of those shirts that says May 25, 1977 Grauman's Chinese Theatre. First Day, First Show. He actually was there I think. Maybe. Or thinks he was. Anyway, he has a shirt, not that it proves anything.

So, at the ArcLight you have reserved seating for every show. What that means is that if you don't believe in computers like my dad, you have to go drag yourself down to the show very early in order to secure seats you like and that are together. In my dad's case that is like three hours early. 515pm arrival for an 815pm show.

Lucky for all parties involved, there is a bar at the ArcLight and nice, strong drinks. The kind that make you feel all warm and toasty inside and make those words your dad is saying just float over you like a cloud on a sunny day at the beach. Six drinks and 2 burgers later, we made our way to the screen. It is still 30 minutes before the show starts, but my dad wants popcorn (with real butter) and enough candy to give him another heart attack. Of course, I match him calorie for calorie. As we like to say, 1,000 pounds of loving.

Because we got there so early, and had consumed so many adult beverages we pretty much blitzed our way through a large popcorn each and some of the candy. So, being the good son, I offered to get some more before the movie started. So, I go and buy enough to feed a group of school children and as I am leaving I see Sean Hayes (Jack from Will & Grace) walking into the line with two other guys. I then made a classic mistake. I did a double take. Frankly, you have that much booze and have bad eyes, you do the double take. If you do the double take, the celebrity will catch it and so I waited for the look. It was there. He knew I knew and then it was like he was daring me to come talk to him or take his photo. Well, I had my hands full, and I wasn't about to let go of popcorn and chocolate to take a photo of some guy who has had a grand total of about one hour of television and film screen time in the past two years.

I just thought that by this time, he would be wanting people to recognize him, and to not be forgotten. Instead he was giving me the death look. Well, f**k him. I hope he got mobbed later by a bunch of 50 year old playing bingo women.

Anyway as for the movie, it sucked. Don't spend your money. It was like a video game. I kept turning around expecting the film operator to have a game controller in his hand and that each showing turned out differently depending on who was running the film.

Dad of course wanted to stay and see it again along with the other 30 people who manged to stick it out all the way through. I told him I was leaving and since he can't fit behind the steering wheel, it was either that or walking. Nothing my dad hates more than walking.

27 comments:

kris said...

excellent review....

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Amber said...

lol I like this story.

mooshki said...

Did you weigh yourself this morning? I bet you finally broke that 400lb barrier! I know it's been your big dream, together with turning Eva into Ex #6.

If it's any consolation, my friend who works for Lucas sends you, your dad, and even Mr. Too-Cool-For-School Hayes his deepest thanks for your patronage.

Rare Avis said...

Loves it.

Nothing like good times with the Dad. Did you get the Toblerone bars? What no cupcakes?

You should post approximatly what you spent on an evening at the movies at the Arclight costed.

Maja With a J said...

Awesome story!

I don't want to seee this movie, quite frankly I'm not sure I understand why they made it in the first place.

In an attempt to steal Ent's thunder for a moment, I would like to inform you all that today is my birthday :)

mooshki said...

Mmmm... Toblerone.

Happy Birthday, HH!!! I think we still have brownies and strippers left over from Affleck's party last week.

Unknown said...

My 5 year old son went opening day with his Dad and loved it. Now he expects me to go see it too. It can't be any worse than his last favorite movie, Space Chimps, right? Please!?

jax said...

Happy Birthday Harriet!

El, that story is like every sunday night for me...love it.

lutefisk said...

Happy Birthday HH!!

Spending time with your dad Enty--that brought tears to my eyes!

Maja With a J said...

Mooshki - i LOVE brownies and strippers! *LOL*

lutefisk said...

I can't take the pressure anymore--I DID NOT watch Gigli Friday night. There, I said it.

mooshki said...

Oh, Adrian, Ben will be so disappointed with you.

lutefisk said...

Yes he will Mooshkie--but did you watch Good Will Hunting? We watched Brokeback Mountain--my daughter is on a Heath Ledger Marathon after seeing Batman last week. I needed to supervise.

Jazz Hands said...

Happy birthday, Harriet!

califblondy said...

Happy Birthday, Harriet.

I love Sean Hayes, I would have at least given him a wink even if he gave me the fish eye.

And I thought I was pathetic last weekend watching Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire.

mooshki said...

Adrian, I watched "Phantoms." Affleck was the bomb!

mooshki said...

Oh, and just put "10 Things I Hate About You" on permanent repeat for your daughter. I could watch that movie all day.

lutefisk said...

Now I feel guilty!! I had a Ben-free
movie night Mooshkie!
She has seen 10 Things I Hate About You when she went throught her Shakespeare stage--this is now her Heath Ledger stage--they just overlap!!

selenakyle said...

Awww, Ent! You are a good son.

If more people paid the proper respect to their parents, even those who tried but maybe weren't always the BEST parents in the world, this place would be so much nicer.

That goes for ALL elders, too.

I love you for this story, Ent, really.

selenakyle said...

And HB, HH!

Anonymous said...

Enty, you just proved yourself to be a girl. Any overweight late-30s/early-40s man is intrinsically drawn to Star Wars, cartoon or not.

(just teasin').

Dennai said...

I am confused now.

Didn't Ent a couple of years ago post a series of mom related blind items in Mother's Day whose last one was a "not-at-all-blind" item that was a sweet hommage to his own mum? If I remember right, he said in that item that he was raised by a single mum. So where this dad come from?

Busted!!!

No matter. I love this site anyway.

mooshki said...

Dennai, don't mess with the illusion!!! LOL. (p.s. Enty isn't really 398lbs either. :) )

DN, LOL as well!

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