Thursday, August 21, 2008

What Do You Think?


Headlining this what do you think kind of gives me some leeway here, because the impetus of the story is something Jessica Simpson said on a Nashville radio station this morning. As you know, I have instituted a ban on Jessica Simpson which is why you never heard me say "beer me" yesterday or asking the question, "how many beers does it take before you would sleep with Jessica Simpson?" Oh, and then for good measure I would have posted that crazy double vision ass photo that is making its way around the internet. You know, the one that gives you a headache the second you look at it. I'm not cruel enough to post it here, but I'm sure someone would be willing to post it in the comments.

Anyway, I got distracted. During this radio interview, Jessica Jealousy said that she knows for sure Carrie Underwood is not calling Tony Romo because she checks the call log on his phone. Setting aside the fact that he has two phones and that he could delete the calls after they talk, I want to know if you think this is right. I did not listen to the interview. I saw some quotes from it. The quotes make it appear as if she is doing this on the sly (not anymore) and being really sneaky.

I consider my phone to be the equivalent of a woman's purse. If I hand it to you and ask you to look something up while I am driving or find some contact really quickly, then to me it is the same as you telling a guy to go get your purse or telling him there is a condom in the zipper. Whatever. If he goes into your purse for any other reason, or starts digging around, you are going to be pissed. You probably don't have anything to hide, but it is your stuff and you honestly can't remember everything that is in there. Same with the phone. Do you think as the significant other of someone you can just start scrolling through calls and contacts and reading all the text messages? What gives you that right? I probably don't have anything to hide, but maybe someone sent me something they don't want anyone else to see.

In my opinion, when you are in a relationship, you either trust someone or you don't. If you don't, then move on. Are you trying to catch your partner doing something wrong? Why are you trying to catch them? If you want to catch them so much, then move on. Because I guarantee you that if you are trying to catch them, that even if they are not doing anything, you are making their life miserable because you are probably the most jealous person on the planet.

I can honestly say that I feel uncomfortable even with the idea of looking at the contacts or call log of a phone which is not mine. Let me know what you think. Fair game to look at your partner's phone and mail and e-mail and entire workings of their life, or, not so much?

46 comments:

Molly said...

not fair to check up on someone you date like that. if you're married and you're pretty sure the rat is cheating on you i think its ok to delve further. in a dating situation if you distrust the person that much you're either insecure and have issues or he's a dog and you need to get away from him. she's a loser.

dee said...

Its never fair game.

AMD said...

Who cares about that. I want to see the video. LOL!

lawyagirl said...

I agree. I've been with my husband for almost 10 years and would never violate his privacy by checking his phone or email.

The only circumstance where that is acceptable is where you have concrete proof that something is going on like a Christy Brinkley/Peter Cook situation.

If you trust each other, there's no reason to spy.

Anonymous said...

My first impression was that she got upset and he showed her his call logs to placate her. Still not right, though. If she needs proof, then she doesn't trust. Without trust, they're doomed.

Molly said...

christine that's what i'm talking about. she was pretty sure not just checking up on someone based on her own insecurity.

Steph said...

I have never EVER looked at the contacts, call log, text messages, WHATEVER of a phone that's not mine (unless I found a lost cell in a cab and was trying to get it back to the owner). I've never even gone through a boyfriend's wallet, bedside table, dresser... nothing. I think it's disgusting when people do it. Total invasion of privacy.

sam said...

It's your job to protect the privacy of third parties. If that privacy is violated by you allowing someone else to access your phone, purse, files, etc., you are still the one ultimately responsible.

If you are cheating and someone goes through your phone and purse and finds out, for godsakes don't whine about it and call foul. Unclean hands and all that crap.

Brenda22 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brenda22 said...

I'll admit that I've gone through a boyfriends texts once or twice. I'm not proud of it and I honestly don't think it's right, but when you're in the room all alone and it's in front of you...hard to resist the temptation.

I think the bigger issue here is that JS again made herself look like a big, insecure idiot by announcing this on the radio.

PunkiMeowMeow said...

She is insecure and not trustworthy. Romo better take note of her childish behavior before it's too late!

CynCamden said...

Poor Jessica. This is the beginning of the end for you. At least try to go out with your head up, girl.

Ayesha said...

In my younger days, I would have snooped. Okay, I did snoop.

Now I feel that I trust my husband and I don't snoop. If I thought something was up, I would confront. If I wasn't satisfied, I would tell him I'm going to get to the bottom of it. Then I'd snoop!

Goodgrief said...

Considering it can be deleted(I wonder if Jessica knows this)looking at a call log is not enough proof that he is NOT calling her. I am sure Tony showed it to her because she asked to see it. Anyway it is wrong for her to even ask this of him. Either she trusts him or she doesn't, sounds like she doesn't. It is also is the sign of a desperate and pathetic woman. Who would even admit to this on a radio show? How long until she starts backpeddeling on this one. I give it until tonight that she issues a statement that we misunderstood what she ment and that she trusts Tony completely and how much he loves her and he would never cheat on her. Puke, puke and gag I can hear it now.

mooshki said...

I don't know if this is the picture you're talking about, but watch out if you click that link 'cause whatever's in your mouth is gonna end up on your keyboard.

mooshki said...

Oh holy god. That's it, no more googling Ms. Simpson.

IndigoBlue said...

Okay, I was married for about 12 years and never snooped. Ever. But I'm pretty sure there was never anything to snoop about.

I will admit, however, that I was dating someone exclusively after the marriage broke up and never snooped on him, either. We were together for about 6-7 months and broke up briefly (about 2 weeks). After we got back together, he was in the shower and his phone was sitting on the coffee table and I couldn't resist seeing who he'd been talking to when we weren't together. I will say, however, that I would never have said anything to him if I had found something in there, because we were broken up and it's none of my business was he did when we weren't together. Curiosity got the best of me. Didn't find anything tho. Never looked again.

Here's one, though...sorry this is a long post but some of you will get a kick out of this. I was dating a guy for about a year in college when and when summer came, I went back home and he stayed in school but we were still dating. So I go to visit him and he's in the shower (is there a theme here?) and his picture album (he was into those even though he was a guy) was sitting on his bed. I wasn't snooping b/c we'd looked at his pics together a million times, I was just wasting time and picked it up and starting thumbing through it. I turn one of the pages and there was a valentines day card laying in there, no envelope, no nothing. And it was in the album where, chronologically, I could tell it was a VD when we were dating. The front said, "This Valentine's Day, you don't have to keep it a secret that we slept together...." so, yes, I opened it. And on the inside it said, "Besides, I already told everyone anyway." And was signed by some chick with x's and o's. I was conflicted because I wasn't snooping, but he either got an inappropriate card from some chick or he cheated on me. I never did say anything. Then got a phone call a few months later that the chick from the card had just had his kid. AWESOME. Yeah, we broke up.

Unknown said...

It is never okay to look through someone's call log/text messages/IM logs/web history/whathaveyou.

It's a violation of their privacy and it's a clear indication that you don't trust them.

Besides that, if they're running around on you, unless they think you have total trust in the relationship, they're going to hide it from you somehow.

And sometimes you don't just find out they're cheaters. You find out that they're DORK cheaters. Like my ex-brother-in-law, who carried on an internet love affair via Yahoo!Euchre.

sam said...

What's the good of blind trust when someone is abusing that trust? If you confront someone with your suspicions and they lie their way out of it, where does that leave you? People who cheat get off on the manipulations. Better to verify your suspicions and move on with your life.

Ayesha said...

If you snoop, you are going to find things you don't want to know.

I was IN LOVE with this long-distance relationship guy and snooped in his address book. My name was spelled WAY wrong. I almost didn't find it because I was filed by my first name, which was spelled with the wrong first letter.

That sucked. Then finding that another boyfriend was hiding tranny porn and a dildo. And a post-it with the words "blow jobs" and a phone number on it.

Unknown said...

Dumb as dirt AND she wears fur.
I say we stick her on the last space shuttle with Jennifer Hopez and launch them into space (with no plan to have them land on earth.)

lutefisk said...

Either you trust someone or you don't. If you have to keep checking their phone logs, there is a problem somewhere.
And what if he has 3 phones? Years ago, my cousin use to leave her beeper by her mother, & the bill went there also. Her husband never knew about it, but it didn't really matter because he had been cheating on her for years.
Last year I kept running into my old boyfriend every few weeks. He finally called me to meet for coffee. Not only did I not try to hide it, but I told my husband. He knew there was no reason not to trust me.

captivagrl said...

maybe he has 6 phones....7....8?

lyz said...

I don't think she scrolls his call log b/c she thinks he's cheating...I think she does it b/c she's insecure. Maybe she needs to reassure herself that he's NOT cheating.

Either way it's wrong.

And, she's dumb as a rock. Why in the world would she announce that to the entire world??? And just hooowwww does she think her hot boyfriend is going to react to that bit of news? Especially now that his buddies will give him hell about it. She really does not think before she speaks.

How much hell do you think she's gonna catch for wearing that fur?

Unknown said...

A different perspective....

I've looked. At email, phone logs, text messages...all of it.

It's never a good idea. I was cheated on in a previous relationship, we lived together and I walked in on nakedness in my bed. So, I'm a little broken. All I can say is that, after something like that happens, you don't look at anything in the same way again. You feel used and stupid and you vow it won't ever happen again. Simple things like working late become more than that....it's a horrible cycle.

So I feel a little sympathy for Jess.

Not that I recommend snooping. You ALWAYS find out things and because you can't talk about it, your mind draws its own conclusions.

But it's hard for someone like me. One of my girlfriends is married and her husband calls her a couple of times a week and says he's going out or working late or whatever and she just says "ok". It never crosses her mind that he could be up to something else. I envy that kind of innocence and confidence.

Unknown said...

Hi I'm Jewels, and I'll be at Jr's boat's helm...

I guess I'm one of those insecure desperate losers too, one who's dealt with a previously conniving, usurping, husband stealing secretary who had weaseled her way to the top by sleeping with every employer she'd had, and then set her sights on my hubby...

jax said...

well i dont recommend snooping...if my boyfriend's ex was on radio and tv everywhere saying he still called her...i'd fuckin check for my own peace of mind.

besides we don't know,maybe Tony was there when she did it.

kimi said...

No comment.

i am a princess, yes i am said...

I scrolled through all the comments so my apologies if this has already been addressed but nice reveal re: boyfriend finding a condom in the girls purse when the couple doesn't use condoms! thanks enty :)

Lana M. said...
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Lana M. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
i am a princess, yes i am said...

and here's some words of wisdom a friend told me re: snooping coming from his father. His dad said "Don't ever snoop because you will inevitably find something that will upset you or that will cause a problem that would not exist had you not snooped. Most of the things found out through snooping would normally work itself out without being earthshattering to the relationship and you life will go on its merry way"

And that is why I will never snoop, because if it is big enough, it will come out and cause a problem but if its nothing, then nothing will happen.

sam said...
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sam said...

But I think it is better to snoop and find out before, rather than after, they empty out your bank accounts. :)

i am a princess, yes i am said...

yeah...i see it being acceptable then when protecting your bank account. but that's what i mean about it being big enough that it comes out without having to snoop. You prolly had some inkling that something is going on and then a whole set of rules starts.

lawyagirl said...

To "I am a princess": Nice catch!! I hadn't noticed that reveal, though I did always suspect they were the subjects of this BI.

To Molly: I think you summed it up best, girl!

Molly said...

thnx, christine! sounds like we both agree on this one. youre lucky youre married to a good guy. i am too!

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

Yes, Jessica is insecure and jealous and she wears fur and sucks big time, BUT...

...it doesn't change the fact that Carrie was a complete bitch for saying something like that to an interviewer in the first place. What a catty little ho. I'm not even sure I believe her, anyway. The fact that she mentioned Tony makes it seem as if SHE'S the one hung up on him. A bigger person would have simply issued a standard No Comment and moved on to another topic.

bionic bunny! said...

okay, i've been married to mr. bunny for 22-1/2 years. before that, i was married to an asshole for 5-1/2 years, a guy who threatened me, lied to everyone, and, who after a miserable 5 years, i cheated on. with my high school love. oh, and i broke up with mr. bunny to marry said asshole, THAT'S what a good manipulator AH was.
getting back together with sir buns, i confessed all, including the cheating.
phew, confession is good for the soul.
so, i tell you all of that, just so i can tell you this:
after all of these years of marriage, if he needs something in my (very small) purse, he won't go in there. i don't know why, i don't even have feminine products in there (let's hear it for early menopause, yay!) (oh, sorry, enty), i can't work the damn iphone without his help, and all the credit cards are in his name (but i manage all the banking). i've never once doubted that he loved me. never. and i don't think he's ever doubted me.
and yet, i'm not a very self confident person. i guess when you finally find the right person, there's no need to feel needy.

oh, yeah, and we're going on a cruise.
HEE-HEE!! all these bionics, a new car and a cruise--what more could a girl ask?????

Unknown said...

wait i'm stupid....when did he reveal the condom blind?

Beth said...

Way to get OWNED by Carrie Underwood Jessica!! She made the comment, you flinched and let the world know.

God, does this girl do anything that isn't 100% stupid and insecure? She just let Carrie know that a throwaway line in a magazine interview got to her so much that she went digging through her boyfriend's personal business to find out if it was true or not.

Carrie for the win. Jess is a loser yet again.

I hope Tony wakes up and dumps her.

Lisa (not original) said...

If my boyfriend's ex-skank announced to the world that he still calls her, I'd want to know the truth. Not a matter of trust. People trust cheating dogs all the time. :)

Mel said...

I'm not sure how I'd feel if some b*tch ex-girlfriend was publically claiming to still be in touch with my boyfriend. It would take a very secure person to let that one go.

Poor Jessica, the girl can never do right. I actually find her honesty endearing.

rufusjonz said...

Looking at someone's text or phone log is completely wrong and evil.

The Jessica comment that noone on the net is mentioning is the one from same interview where she says "guys try to get with me because of my heart" -- or some such

YEAH ITS YOUR HEART THEY WANT...

i comment on that in my new co-author blog:
www.megasizzle.com -- check it out if you want people

Miranda said...

Hey, I'm a snooper. Love to snoop. People always think they are trying to protect you by not telling you the truth but people are liars. So I snoop. It's very handy to find out that your ex actually broke up with you because he was fucking other people, not because he "didn't deserve you". I don't snoop because I'm insecure; I just snoop because I'm nosy!

Jackie said...

I heard/saw the radio interview and she said "I checked his call log" and then laughed and said JK! I don't think she was totally serious about it. If she did check it, I'm sure he knew about it or she did it in front of him. It doesn't mater anyway, because if he was hiding something he could just delete the #'s out of his call history. So I think this is irrelevant and Jessica was just being Jessica. But Carrie has some balls to say that to a national magazine. I think she dated him for all of 10 minutes. She's just annoyed that Jessica is going country. Have to admit, that was a pretty funny comment though.

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