Friday, November 27, 2020

Blind Items Revealed #4 - Anniversary Month

September 6, 2019

Part One

If you peruse the rooms-for-rent listings for the San Fernando Valley area on Craigslist, you might come across one of three properties. In each case they will promise a unique lifestyle in an environment filled with young artists, writers, musicians, and the like. The prices seem rather steep for what you get - even by California standards.

If you apply, and your application is accepted, you will be interviewed by the mother of a B+ list actress with a recognizable last name, one who gained fame over a decade ago for portraying a famous historical figure and has been typecast in similar roles ever since. This actress has largely distanced herself from her mother, for reasons that will become immediately clear.

To say that the mother’s elevator doesn’t go to the top floor would be an understatement. She is as crazy as she is cunning. Just for starters, she is a self-proclaimed anarchist who believes in reptilians, the flat earth, and denies the Holocaust. She has a long arrest record for disorderly conduct that includes disrupting meetings between world leaders.

Of course, most of her tenants don’t know about any of this. They are generally too busy getting high and/or drunk. Not that I blame them given the living conditions.

The main property, which serves as the center of operations, is a ramshackle compound off a major intersection in the San Fernando Valley surrounded by shacks and portable buildings. The place is infested with fleas, ticks, bed bugs, and roaches. Mentioning these infestations aloud will get you evicted. This property is host to a workaway program which houses its transients, many of whom are under 21, in unsafe and unhealthy conditions. Neighbors have long complained about the underage drinking and pot smoking that takes place.

All these matters are a surface distraction, however, from the more serious crime that’s gone on here. You see, the mother, being the anarchist she is, for years played host to the digital equivalent of the Manson Family. This inner circle engaged in vigilantism and hacking crimes against those they disliked, many of them successful people in the film and music industries, ruining lives and personal fortunes in the process. Our anarchist has also threatened to kill a successful film producer/entrepreneur after her daughter’s relationship with him ended.

Oh, and the money our anarchist is amassing from her overcharged tenants? They are at work building a semi-secret compound in a remote part of Mexico.

September 20, 2019

Part Two

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about this B+ list actress and her mentally unsound anarchist mother. Here is perhaps the defining chapter in the whole saga.

Our actress, who gained fame at a young age for playing a famous historical figure, was being courted by this A++ list director for the lead role in his latest “game changing” mega-blockbuster. It was because of her star-making role as the historical figure that our director wanted her to play this character, which for all intents and purposes was the same historical figure. Had she landed this role, she would certainly be a household name.

However, the big-four agency representing the actress who ultimately did get the part had other ideas. They convinced the director and his team that she was away making another movie.

A framed conceptual drawing of herself as the lead character, with a handwritten note from the director, hangs on a wall inside The Compound.

Shortly after this took place, our actress and her mother were partners in crime, and they made headlines when they found a way of interrupting a meeting between two world leaders. One of these world leaders was and still is a political darling of the Hollywood establishment. This and other activities led to her being shut out of almost all major projects for many years, until just a few years ago, when she landed a role on this major network period-drama series.

While she was filming the series, the director came knocking again. He wanted our actress to play a different role in the sequels he was planning to his mega-blockbuster. So our actress desperately scrambled to have herself written off the show, but this time her mother got involved, sending the agents and producers in circles until nobody knew what was happening. By the time her role on the show ended, the sequels were cast.

Saskia Kilcher-Oulicky/Q’Orianka Kilcher/Alan Pao/James Cameron/Avatar/Zoe Saldana/Barack Obama/Alan Garcia/The Alienist

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